Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

No one is saying to not do any activities. This is about a child having an activity each day or multiple activities each day or have multiple games on Saturday for the same sport but different teams.. and that kid missing one game to make another.. that is a problem even if you all face to recognize it.

Also, is there no kid who wants to come home after a long day at school and just decompress and chill..

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9

These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.

Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.

Your also like scenarios like this, or middle school kids being "bored" and vaping, drinking ect is inevitable and will always happen. It happens, no doubt but its not all kids. And there are like minded parents like me who don't let their kids have internet access like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is saying to not do any activities. This is about a child having an activity each day or multiple activities each day or have multiple games on Saturday for the same sport but different teams.. and that kid missing one game to make another.. that is a problem even if you all face to recognize it.

Also, is there no kid who wants to come home after a long day at school and just decompress and chill..

I fail to recognize a problem I don't actually see. I don't know ONE kid who has multiple activities every day and overlapping sports every weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is saying to not do any activities. This is about a child having an activity each day or multiple activities each day or have multiple games on Saturday for the same sport but different teams.. and that kid missing one game to make another.. that is a problem even if you all face to recognize it.

Also, is there no kid who wants to come home after a long day at school and just decompress and chill..

I fail to recognize a problem I don't actually see. I don't know ONE kid who has multiple activities every day and overlapping sports every weekend.

They exist, the parents usually insist that the kid wants it so they allow it. I see ppl posting their kids insane schedules on social media all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is saying to not do any activities. This is about a child having an activity each day or multiple activities each day or have multiple games on Saturday for the same sport but different teams.. and that kid missing one game to make another.. that is a problem even if you all face to recognize it.

Also, is there no kid who wants to come home after a long day at school and just decompress and chill..

I fail to recognize a problem I don't actually see. I don't know ONE kid who has multiple activities every day and overlapping sports every weekend.

They exist, the parents usually insist that the kid wants it so they allow it. I see ppl posting their kids insane schedules on social media all the time.

So, you don't actually know these kids either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is saying to not do any activities. This is about a child having an activity each day or multiple activities each day or have multiple games on Saturday for the same sport but different teams.. and that kid missing one game to make another.. that is a problem even if you all face to recognize it.

Also, is there no kid who wants to come home after a long day at school and just decompress and chill..

I fail to recognize a problem I don't actually see. I don't know ONE kid who has multiple activities every day and overlapping sports every weekend.

They exist, the parents usually insist that the kid wants it so they allow it. I see ppl posting their kids insane schedules on social media all the time.

So, you don't actually know these kids either.

Why wouldn't I? These are my actual friends I know and have known for years and their kids, this is Facebook, yes I know I'm old, lol. I don't friend ppl I don't personally know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is saying to not do any activities. This is about a child having an activity each day or multiple activities each day or have multiple games on Saturday for the same sport but different teams.. and that kid missing one game to make another.. that is a problem even if you all face to recognize it.

Also, is there no kid who wants to come home after a long day at school and just decompress and chill..

I posted previously about being this type of family. OP has one kid. I have three kids. I definitely say that I’m busy shuffling kids around. I don’t necessarily think any of my kids are over scheduled. They are definitely busy but they have plenty of downtime.

Yes, my kids have conflicts. Games, tournaments, rescheduled games, playoffs, parties, etc. are not a set time every week. We have to pick and yes, the rec game will probably be the one we don’t go to. There are some commitments we make for the full year. When you get a rec team, you get assigned a practice the week prior and match schedule. We will go but sometimes can’t make it. Sometimes we miss practice because I have to take my daughter to a dance recital and older brother has a match or game and we can’t take Larlo to basketball practice that night.

I am sure Op and her one child will think we are over scheduled. It is a hectic life and we love it. I know it isn’t for everyone. Just as OP may look at us and not approve, we wouldn’t want her life either.

I also don’t work. There is no way I could work and take one kid to dance and cheer, another kid to basketball, then soccer for another. It would be too much after a long day of work.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9

These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.

Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.

I don't know how I'd handle that. I think parents give young kids way too much access to these things. Still doesn't change my stance on letting middle school kids be kids and have free time.

You might not handle it at all because you won’t know about it. When you idealize free time around the neighborhood, be aware that kids (including w athletes enjoying free time - this goes for everyone) WILL be on screens (that may not have limits you’d approve of) when you think they are biking, at the playground, at a friend’s house, at the arcade, at a cafe. It is what it is and your ability to counteract that is very limited. I’m seeing a lot of what feels like judgment from some younger-kid moms here who don’t seem to understand how big of a challenge it is even when you’ve set limits in your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9

These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.

Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.

Your also like scenarios like this, or middle school kids being "bored" and vaping, drinking ect is inevitable and will always happen. It happens, no doubt but its not all kids. And there are like minded parents like me who don't let their kids have internet access like this.

No one ever thinks it will be their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Then OP should have had more kids. It's not everyone else's problem to fix. Apparently OPs parenting philosophy doesn't work unless other parents buy into it. That doesn't sound like someone who has a lot of confidence in their 'let boredom reign' parenting.

OP is also confused about what these other parents are venting about. They -- THE PARENT -- are feeling exhausted, etc., trying to get their kids to everything. Presumably the parent has lots of things going on -- maybe a full time job, 2-3 kids, household chores, maybe a spouse with limited weekday availability. Just because mom is exhausted managing all that doesn't mean each of her individual kids is over scheduled. Dumb assumption.

And sometimes we vent about things that are hard even though we don't want to change them, or we know the hardship is worth it. It just feels good to vent to a friend. Surely OP understands the concept of a vent since she prefaced her post as just that.

But, overscheduling your kids is something that you don't have to do. If your kids likes to and wants to do activities, that great. Let, them if you have that opportunity and those resources, but you don't have to let them do everything that they may want. I don't want super busy kids, or to spend a ton of money so some activities aren't going to happen.

Gah! You, like OP, are also not getting it. Just because mom feels over-extended doesn't mean her kids are over-scheduled. Mom could easily feel tired and want to vent if she has a full-time job, a house to maintain, and three kids who each do one sport and an instrument. But none of those kids would be over scheduled.

My kids were overscheduled and I am unapologetic about it. I liked to keep them busy. BUT, I agree with OP that people complaining that they have too many kid activities need to STFU. Nobody wants to hear it.

Fine, OP doesn't want to hear parents complain about their busy schedules as a parent. OP has still made an incorrect assumption that each of the complainer's kids is over scheduled. My kids are not over-scheduled -- they do a modest amount of activities each, and each have several days where they have nothing planned at all. But I'm exhausted pretty much every damn day, ha!

Unless there’s another parent home or a paid driver all the kids are getting dragged along to all the activities. Honestly my oldest would do more but I am not willing to drag my younger kid all over the county to accommodate that. I know other parents do the same because I see them chasing toddlers around practice etc. fine for once in a while but not what I want for every evening.

This is not a problem for me. Sometimes DH is working from home and I can leave younger kid at home. Sometimes both kids might have something at similar times (older kid is in carpools). And typically my older kid's activity is drop off -- I'm not hanging out at practices and neither are most parents -- so my younger kid and I go off and play at a playground or go to the library or grab a snack somewhere, or even head home (again yea carpools!). My older kid's activities have actually been a big source of one on one time for me and my younger kid. I should say, though, that by the time my older got into more weekday afternoon activities, my youngest was no longer a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9

These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.

Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.

I don't know how I'd handle that. I think parents give young kids way too much access to these things. Still doesn't change my stance on letting middle school kids be kids and have free time.

You might not handle it at all because you won’t know about it. When you idealize free time around the neighborhood, be aware that kids (including w athletes enjoying free time - this goes for everyone) WILL be on screens (that may not have limits you’d approve of) when you think they are biking, at the playground, at a friend’s house, at the arcade, at a cafe. It is what it is and your ability to counteract that is very limited. I’m seeing a lot of what feels like judgment from some younger-kid moms here who don’t seem to understand how big of a challenge it is even when you’ve set limits in your house.

Haha I used to be one of those judgy no screen moms. We read books, did crafts, took walks, planted a garden, everything and anything but screens. My kids were in elementary when Covid started and I lost the screen time battle. They are now in middle and high school with phones. They were both the last ones in their friend groups to get a phone. My 13yo has 1 friend whose parents are holding out. While the boy doesn’t have a phone, he has an iPad, gaming computer and Apple Watch.

[Anonymous]

I not only think overscheduling is killing childhood, but the screens are out of control.

[Anonymous]

I only go to tsa to get on planes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is saying to not do any activities. This is about a child having an activity each day or multiple activities each day or have multiple games on Saturday for the same sport but different teams.. and that kid missing one game to make another.. that is a problem even if you all face to recognize it.

Also, is there no kid who wants to come home after a long day at school and just decompress and chill..

I fail to recognize a problem I don't actually see. I don't know ONE kid who has multiple activities every day and overlapping sports every weekend.

They exist, the parents usually insist that the kid wants it so they allow it. I see ppl posting their kids insane schedules on social media all the time.

So, you don't actually know these kids either.

Why wouldn't I? These are my actual friends I know and have known for years and their kids, this is Facebook, yes I know I'm old, lol. I don't friend ppl I don't personally know

If your kids are bored and unscheduled how do you know who is leaving what game early? Why do you friend people whose parenting is so opposite yours? This doesn't add up.

[Anonymous]

"Over" scheduled is subjective. Some kids want to do it all, and some families have the means to support it. It certainly is okay that a kid wants to fill their free time with sports and music, or whatever other enriching activity. I don't understand why people push for more boredom, but I don't have to, as their kids are not responsibility.