Siblings kids not invited to wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP please learn how to use the quotes option. It’s really not that hard.

Someone screwed it up pages ago. It’s hard to go back through all the responses to correct it now. (You have to delete all the responses which at this point are really long)

You don’t need to keep responding to a long string. Just copy the last post and hit the quote option around it, then add your response.

Like this.

What you’re doing now is difficult to read.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][/quote]

No, they aren't saying that. Even the OP isn't complaining about a real destination wedding. People get real offended if their kids aren't invited to weddings, near or far.[/quote]

Ok well maybe *they* weren’t but plenty of people (including me) *are* saying exactly that. Destination weddings, weddings at times of year that are inconvenient for many (around holidays, etc) a lack of consideration for guests. That’s the issue w many weddings. I don’t care if my kids are invited or not. [/quote]

[Anonymous]

TL;DR: OP’s sister doesn’t want OP or her kids at wedding. Many people who have weddings are inconsiderate of their guests.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][/quote]

No, they aren't saying that. Even the OP isn't complaining about a real destination wedding. People get real offended if their kids aren't invited to weddings, near or far.[/quote]

Ok well maybe *they* weren’t but plenty of people (including me) *are* saying exactly that. Destination weddings, weddings at times of year that are inconvenient for many (around holidays, etc) a lack of consideration for guests. That’s the issue w many weddings. I don’t care if my kids are invited or not. [/quote][/quote]

I think there are shades of gray in what is actually inconvenient and what is just an inconvenience for some (those who will decline all invitations that don't include kids like one of the PPs). But mostly you'll never make everyone happy no matter what. Someone will always complain about something.

[Anonymous]

[quote] I think there are shades of gray in what is actually inconvenient and what is just an inconvenience for some (those who will decline all invitations that don't include kids like one of the PPs). But mostly you'll never make everyone happy no matter what. Someone will always complain about something.[/quote]

Yeah certainly there are shades of gray and you can’t please everyone. but some couples (such as OP’s sister, it sounds like, since they are having a midweek morning wedding) don’t even try to make it convenient or desirable for their family/friends to attend their wedding.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote] I think there are shades of gray in what is actually inconvenient and what is just an inconvenience for some (those who will decline all invitations that don't include kids like one of the PPs). But mostly you'll never make everyone happy no matter what. Someone will always complain about something.[/quote]

Yeah certainly there are shades of gray and you can’t please everyone. but some couples (such as OP’s sister, it sounds like, since they are having a midweek morning wedding) don’t even try to make it convenient or desirable for their family/friends to attend their wedding.[/quote]

Well, on the bright side they don't have to waste a weekend attending and just OP can go during the week and then her family can do whatever they want on the weekend. But OPs issues was trying to pressure her sibling for an invite for all the kids by using a nursing 11 month old as an excuse. She didn't seem to put out about the day and time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

TL;DR: OP’s sister doesn’t want OP or her kids at wedding. Many people who have weddings are inconsiderate of their guests.

It is entitled for guests to think they can. bring anyone to a wedding other than those invited!

[Anonymous]

It doesn't make sense to you because you have decided there is a right way and a wrong way to do a wedding. You want to know how anyone can do it wrong and why they bother at all because in your mind it's not a wedding and they should just go the courthouse. The condescension is loud and clear. I have been to lots of weddings and fhave never been to one where all the friends of the bride and groom bring their entire families. It's just not done, and it's known to get a sitter.

I haven’t decided there is a right or wrong way to do a wedding. I haven’t decided that if you are doing it the “wrong” way, then you should go to a courthouse, (although I understand why pp said that because if I didn’t feel so much pressure to invite family and friends, that’s what I would have done).

Have the wedding you want. I don’t care if you have kids there or not or whether you invite your mom or your grandma. If you want to have a huge wedding that is attended by people that you invited off the street or paid actors or a troop of jugglers that meets you at the top of a mountain, that’s fine by me. I was just curious about your motivation for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It doesn't make sense to you because you have decided there is a right way and a wrong way to do a wedding. You want to know how anyone can do it wrong and why they bother at all because in your mind it's not a wedding and they should just go the courthouse. The condescension is loud and clear. I have been to lots of weddings and fhave never been to one where all the friends of the bride and groom bring their entire families. It's just not done, and it's known to get a sitter.

I haven’t decided there is a right or wrong way to do a wedding. I haven’t decided that if you are doing it the “wrong” way, then you should go to a courthouse, (although I understand why pp said that because if I didn’t feel so much pressure to invite family and friends, that’s what I would have done).

Have the wedding you want. I don’t care if you have kids there or not or whether you invite your mom or your grandma. If you want to have a huge wedding that is attended by people that you invited off the street or paid actors or a troop of jugglers that meets you at the top of a mountain, that’s fine by me. I was just curious about your motivation for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It doesn't make sense to you because you have decided there is a right way and a wrong way to do a wedding. You want to know how anyone can do it wrong and why they bother at all because in your mind it's not a wedding and they should just go the courthouse. The condescension is loud and clear. I have been to lots of weddings and fhave never been to one where all the friends of the bride and groom bring their entire families. It's just not done, and it's known to get a sitter.

I haven’t decided there is a right or wrong way to do a wedding. I haven’t decided that if you are doing it the “wrong” way, then you should go to a courthouse, (although I understand why pp said that because if I didn’t feel so much pressure to invite family and friends, that’s what I would have done).

Have the wedding you want. I don’t care if you have kids there or not or whether you invite your mom or your grandma. If you want to have a huge wedding that is attended by people that you invited off the street or paid actors or a troop of jugglers that meets you at the top of a mountain, that’s fine by me. I was just curious about your motivation for it.

You really do care about the wedding others want. You say all that but then you're like "I just really want to know why...." make up your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We politely decline most no-kids weddings. I only make an exception if I know there is a real hardship (financial/venue limitations/etc) and then in that case either myself or DH go solo. If it purely because of a pretentious bride or groom, no thank you.

It is not pretentious to not want your wedding ruined crying, tantrum throwing , messy, noisy brats. This is particularly true with parents who think their snowflakes are just too precious for words and everybody just loves them!

+1

Only parents think their actual kids are adorable - not anyone else's kid. Just because I might be good with my kid, doesn't mean I feel like tolerating anyone else's kid.

DP. So why are you even pretending the parents are your friends if you don’t like their kids at all?

I don’t think it’s just the no kids thing, but I think weddings have gotten way too self indulgent in general. Like other PPs I’m confused why you’re hosting an event if you don’t have any interest in making it enjoyable for your guests.

Fwiw I’ve attended the occasional kid-free wedding and I always rush my kids out by their bedtimes before they get whiny, but some of the arguments posted here have been pretty unconvincing.

Exactly. It’s really not about making the event kid-free or not. Kid-free events can be fun and events w kids can be fun. It’s that a lot of weddings seem to not take guests into consideration at all. It’s weird to invite people to something but to not even think about how or why it might be difficult for them to attend. It’s weird to invite people to something and not consider them at all in the process (whether this is not offering vegetarian meal options when you know some guests are vegetarian, or choosing to have an outdoor wedding when it will be 100 degrees or 30 degrees outside, or whether it’s asking everyone to pay $1000 to fly to some remote location, or telling everyone to wear something that fits a color scheme you have in mind or whatever) it’s inconsiderate and rude. It’s like people lose their minds and their manners when planning a wedding.

+100. Also, I’ve been to many weddings that included some children and I don’t think they ruining the experience at all for anyone. They were barely noticeable and when they were noticeable it was because they had a role in the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It doesn't make sense to you because you have decided there is a right way and a wrong way to do a wedding. You want to know how anyone can do it wrong and why they bother at all because in your mind it's not a wedding and they should just go the courthouse. The condescension is loud and clear. I have been to lots of weddings and fhave never been to one where all the friends of the bride and groom bring their entire families. It's just not done, and it's known to get a sitter.

I haven’t decided there is a right or wrong way to do a wedding. I haven’t decided that if you are doing it the “wrong” way, then you should go to a courthouse, (although I understand why pp said that because if I didn’t feel so much pressure to invite family and friends, that’s what I would have done).

Have the wedding you want. I don’t care if you have kids there or not or whether you invite your mom or your grandma. If you want to have a huge wedding that is attended by people that you invited off the street or paid actors or a troop of jugglers that meets you at the top of a mountain, that’s fine by me. I was just curious about your motivation for it.

You really do care about the wedding others want. You say all that but then you're like "I just really want to know why...." make up your mind.

I honestly feel like this is what I have been saying over and over again from the beginning.
Why is it more important to have no kids at your wedding than it is to have the people you love there?
I just want to know why.

All anyone has done is swear at me or call me judgmental. I’m not judging. I’m just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It doesn't make sense to you because you have decided there is a right way and a wrong way to do a wedding. You want to know how anyone can do it wrong and why they bother at all because in your mind it's not a wedding and they should just go the courthouse. The condescension is loud and clear. I have been to lots of weddings and fhave never been to one where all the friends of the bride and groom bring their entire families. It's just not done, and it's known to get a sitter.

I haven’t decided there is a right or wrong way to do a wedding. I haven’t decided that if you are doing it the “wrong” way, then you should go to a courthouse, (although I understand why pp said that because if I didn’t feel so much pressure to invite family and friends, that’s what I would have done).

Have the wedding you want. I don’t care if you have kids there or not or whether you invite your mom or your grandma. If you want to have a huge wedding that is attended by people that you invited off the street or paid actors or a troop of jugglers that meets you at the top of a mountain, that’s fine by me. I was just curious about your motivation for it.

You really do care about the wedding others want. You say all that but then you're like "I just really want to know why...." make up your mind.

I honestly feel like this is what I have been saying over and over again from the beginning.
Why is it more important to have no kids at your wedding than it is to have the people you love there?
I just want to know why.

All anyone has done is swear at me or call me judgmental. I’m not judging. I’m just curious.

Because it's not an either or. The people will come and will leave their kids with a sitter. Why do you think nobody will come if the kids aren't invited?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

TL;DR: OP’s sister doesn’t want OP or her kids at wedding. Many people who have weddings are inconsiderate of their guests.

And some guests are rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It doesn't make sense to you because you have decided there is a right way and a wrong way to do a wedding. You want to know how anyone can do it wrong and why they bother at all because in your mind it's not a wedding and they should just go the courthouse. The condescension is loud and clear. I have been to lots of weddings and fhave never been to one where all the friends of the bride and groom bring their entire families. It's just not done, and it's known to get a sitter.

I haven’t decided there is a right or wrong way to do a wedding. I haven’t decided that if you are doing it the “wrong” way, then you should go to a courthouse, (although I understand why pp said that because if I didn’t feel so much pressure to invite family and friends, that’s what I would have done).

Have the wedding you want. I don’t care if you have kids there or not or whether you invite your mom or your grandma. If you want to have a huge wedding that is attended by people that you invited off the street or paid actors or a troop of jugglers that meets you at the top of a mountain, that’s fine by me. I was just curious about your motivation for it.

You really do care about the wedding others want. You say all that but then you're like "I just really want to know why...." make up your mind.

I honestly feel like this is what I have been saying over and over again from the beginning.
Why is it more important to have no kids at your wedding than it is to have the people you love there?
I just want to know why.

All anyone has done is swear at me or call me judgmental. I’m not judging. I’m just curious.

Because it's not an either or. The people will come and will leave their kids with a sitter. Why do you think nobody will come if the kids aren't invited?

+1

Not everyone thinks like other PP, thankfully - that is quite selfish of other PP!