If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feeling really bad for my gay brother right now. But he doesn't read DCUM so I guess it's fine.

Gay people have kids all the time, you know. My close friend is gay, married, and has two kids: one biological child each for him and his husband, same mom/carrier. They have big careers too and an amazing, happy life.

[Anonymous]

I have autism, so no woman outside my family could truly love me for who I am. No child should grow up in an environment where one parent doesn't love the other. I wouldn't want to risk passing on my autism and I have a hard enough time taking care of myself as it is.

[Anonymous]

People who even mention the word legacy just crack me up. The absolute arrogance. I mean, why do people care about their legacies? Spoiler alert: you'll be dead, you won't know, or care. Live your life for now. Love people--or don't. Whatever. But please look closely at yourself and why not just care about how people think about you now, not once you dead. You know what: stop caring about your "legacy" and you'll probably find they enjoy you a lot more.

[Anonymous]

Wow - this line of thinking never even occurred to me. It’s totally up to my kids whether they want children or not. I got what I wanted - 2 lovely young ladies, super smart and kind. I feel like I hit the jackpot. Maybe for them, the jackpot will feel like furthering their careers, social life, their DH, pets, whatever they like. Who am I to dictate that they must sacrifice themselves for DCs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who even mention the word legacy just crack me up. The absolute arrogance. I mean, why do people care about their legacies? Spoiler alert: you'll be dead, you won't know, or care. Live your life for now. Love people--or don't. Whatever. But please look closely at yourself and why not just care about how people think about you now, not once you dead. You know what: stop caring about your "legacy" and you'll probably find they enjoy you a lot more.

The vast majority of people don’t have a legacy and will be forgotten. Einstein, Paracelsus, Napoleon, and the likes have a legacy. Not Sally Smith from Bethesda, run of the mill big law partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.

Half the world is on fire, the other half is flooded. Deciding not to bring a child into this world is a kindness.

It's unethical to knowingly bring children into the world who will struggle with severe mental illness/disability and especially so into a world that already cannot and does not provide for everyone on this planet who has already been born.

[Anonymous]

Bob Barker even though he lived till 99 will she on be forgotten as no kids.

His house, money, royalties will be divided up
Among strangers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have autism, so no woman outside my family could truly love me for who I am. No child should grow up in an environment where one parent doesn't love the other. I wouldn't want to risk passing on my autism and I have a hard enough time taking care of myself as it is.

I'm not saying that you should have children if you don't wish to, but please know that you are worthy of love and the right woman can love you for who you are. Autism doesn't mean you are unlovable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who even mention the word legacy just crack me up. The absolute arrogance. I mean, why do people care about their legacies? Spoiler alert: you'll be dead, you won't know, or care. Live your life for now. Love people--or don't. Whatever. But please look closely at yourself and why not just care about how people think about you now, not once you dead. You know what: stop caring about your "legacy" and you'll probably find they enjoy you a lot more.

The vast majority of people don’t have a legacy and will be forgotten. Einstein, Paracelsus, Napoleon, and the likes have a legacy. Not Sally Smith from Bethesda, run of the mill big law partner.

Einstein has living direct descendants, but only great-grandchildren, the grandchildren are now all dead. One great-grandchild is an anesthesiologist at the UCLA medical center

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get adult males who don’t have kids. Look getting married is all downside with no kids. Why bother getting married.

But men unlike women pretty easy to have a kid without getting married.

Literally when I was single I say at least five women I could have had a kid with and not married. Other than child support and helping out how hard is that.

One women Dad almost wanted to “breed me” she was his only daughter, she had no BF I went on a few dates and basically he hinted knock her up. Literally told me he has business he wants a son to take over and pass on to future generations.

I had a few others.

This is so funny! Are you from the 1800s?
Today in 2023 businesses are handed down to daughters just as easily as sons. You know we are not the Taliban, we educate our daughters to be contributing members of society. Seriously, I don't believe you that this happened at all.

[Anonymous]

Having a child is the best decision I made. The experience has enriched my life. Whatever money I have, I will leave to him... no matter what. I will be dead. He will have his life and do as he pleases. There are no strings if love is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bob Barker even though he lived till 99 will she on be forgotten as no kids.

His house, money, royalties will be divided up
Among strangers

He'll be remembered long after anyone here will be.
Betty White didn't have kids either. Nor does Dolly Parton. Both will be remembered long after your grandchildren have died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bob Barker even though he lived till 99 will she on be forgotten as no kids.

His house, money, royalties will be divided up
Among strangers

He'll be remembered long after anyone here will be.
Betty White didn't have kids either. Nor does Dolly Parton. Both will be remembered long after your grandchildren have died.

George Washington did not have his own kids. He will always be remembered.

Can add Oprah to the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a child is the best decision I made. The experience has enriched my life. Whatever money I have, I will leave to him... no matter what. I will be dead. He will have his life and do as he pleases. There are no strings if love is real.

Money can't buy love, and love doesn't require money to prove it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bob Barker even though he lived till 99 will she on be forgotten as no kids.

His house, money, royalties will be divided up
Among strangers

He'll be remembered long after anyone here will be.
Betty White didn't have kids either. Nor does Dolly Parton. Both will be remembered long after your grandchildren have died.

George Washington did not have his own kids. He will always be remembered.

Can add Oprah to the list.

The more apt comparison to OP's complaint is that Oprah's mother won't be remembered.

But not really, because OP isn't complaining about not having a legacy, she's complaining about not having grandkids. We should be allowed to bequeath more to our children who give us those over the others. It's not about love, it's about who needs it more.