Check your phone at the door

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. Why do parents in this area always think they know how to parent your kid better than you? Such a weird power move to take away teenagers phone. I would be furious if this happened at one of my DC’s friends house. Actually furious.

Yes! It’s a strange kind of power move. It’s parents trying to engineer & control how their teenagers and friends socialize. It rubs me the wrong way. But kids would generally avoid a household that does this on a regular basis.

It is not different than a parent deciding what snacks to offer and what rules are to be followed in their house. It is a house rule not a value judgement on the kids. You people that cannot fathom your kids without a phone for a few hours are certifiable.

In neither of these scenarios you offer are you taking someone else's expensive personal property or socially engineering your child's get togethers. Apples and oranges, which I'm sure you know.

Your assumption that they are not socializing, also, is false. Kids talk and socialize, while on their phones sometimes. Have you ever met a teenager?

[Anonymous]

But, we know how teens, especially teens today can be, they often zone out in front of screens whether you want to admit it or not. This is just about trying to get kids to socialize in person. Nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Not my kid, not my problem. I'm not going to control another person's kid's phone. And if there's an emergency I want my kid to be able to contact me without involving you.

Are you serious? How many emergencies do you all have? It is a control helicopter issue. At least admit to that

The helicopter is the mom trying to manage the phone use of other people’s kids so her own kid doesn’t have to speak up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But, we know how teens, especially teens today can be, they often zone out in front of screens whether you want to admit it or not. This is just about trying to get kids to socialize in person. Nothing wrong with that.

There are a lot of posters on this thread and on all the ban-phones-in-schools threads that do not know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. Why do parents in this area always think they know how to parent your kid better than you? Such a weird power move to take away teenagers phone. I would be furious if this happened at one of my DC’s friends house. Actually furious.

Why is this about imposing different parenting styles, rather than different houses/different rules?

Because the phone belongs to the teen and not the host, IMO this is something that should be told up front and not sprung on the teen when he shows up to hang out. Let the teen decide in advance if he is ok with it or prefers to hang out with your kid somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. Why do parents in this area always think they know how to parent your kid better than you? Such a weird power move to take away teenagers phone. I would be furious if this happened at one of my DC’s friends house. Actually furious.

Why is this about imposing different parenting styles, rather than different houses/different rules?

Because the phone belongs to the teen and not the host, IMO this is something that should be told up front and not sprung on the teen when he shows up to hang out. Let the teen decide in advance if he is ok with it or prefers to hang out with your kid somewhere else.

Your shoes belong to you too. Do you want a heads up if someone asks you to take off shoes in their house?

[Anonymous]

I thought of this thread. My teen went to hang out with friends after school yesterday. My kid wanted to come home really early. I asked what happened and my kid mentioned being bored because the host and every other kid was on a phone. There was no point to hanging out.

I was happy that my kid recognized that it wasn't worth hanging out but saddened.

[Anonymous]

It’s ok to not want kids on phones. It’s up to them to decide if they are going to be. You can always choose to not get one for your child if it’s a thing for you. We each are responsible for our own family dynamics with devices. It’s not ok to mandate what another child does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Not my kid, not my problem. I'm not going to control another person's kid's phone. And if there's an emergency I want my kid to be able to contact me without involving you.

Are you serious? How many emergencies do you all have? It is a control helicopter issue. At least admit to that

Sounds like you’re the one with controlling helicopter tendencies. I find it amusing how others are being accused of being helicopter parents despite their hands-off approach.

You do you, but most kids like autonomy and not to have friends’ parents hovering over their phone use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s ok to not want kids on phones. It’s up to them to decide if they are going to be. You can always choose to not get one for your child if it’s a thing for you. We each are responsible for our own family dynamics with devices. It’s not ok to mandate what another child does.

In your own house. Someone else’s house, their rules, and your family can decide whether or not they choose to be there. Not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Not my kid, not my problem. I'm not going to control another person's kid's phone. And if there's an emergency I want my kid to be able to contact me without involving you.

Are you serious? How many emergencies do you all have? It is a control helicopter issue. At least admit to that

The helicopter is the mom trying to manage the phone use of other people’s kids so her own kid doesn’t have to speak up.

No it is an option a lot of parents like and agree to ahead of time. At least that is how it is at our house. It’s a choice to come over and leave your phone upstairs and hang out downstairs. You can come upstairs and use it if needed. So it isn’t taken away. Sure the tweens/teens will still kinda talk while on their phones but it all social media, one upping, trying to post, etc… With the phones upstairs the kids play board games, ping pong, shuffleboard, card games, and even sit and all talk face to face. Something many kids no longer know how to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought of this thread. My teen went to hang out with friends after school yesterday. My kid wanted to come home really early. I asked what happened and my kid mentioned being bored because the host and every other kid was on a phone. There was no point to hanging out.

I was happy that my kid recognized that it wasn't worth hanging out but saddened.

It’s an addiction and most parents don’t care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s ok to not want kids on phones. It’s up to them to decide if they are going to be. You can always choose to not get one for your child if it’s a thing for you. We each are responsible for our own family dynamics with devices. It’s not ok to mandate what another child does.

In your own house. Someone else’s house, their rules, and your family can decide whether or not they choose to be there. Not hard.

You’re a peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

such a rebel.

Not a rebel. But kid has appropriate boundaries.

How do you spell "infantalizing"?

You spell it “infantilizing.”

Thanks. Now stop doing it. Your DC doesn't need an electronic tether to you.

I don’t, so no worries. But you really need to work on your spelling if you’re going to use it as some sort of own. All you’ve done is play yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Not my kid, not my problem. I'm not going to control another person's kid's phone. And if there's an emergency I want my kid to be able to contact me without involving you.

Are you serious? How many emergencies do you all have? It is a control helicopter issue. At least admit to that

The helicopter is the mom trying to manage the phone use of other people’s kids so her own kid doesn’t have to speak up.

No it is an option a lot of parents like and agree to ahead of time. At least that is how it is at our house. It’s a choice to come over and leave your phone upstairs and hang out downstairs. You can come upstairs and use it if needed. So it isn’t taken away. Sure the tweens/teens will still kinda talk while on their phones but it all social media, one upping, trying to post, etc… With the phones upstairs the kids play board games, ping pong, shuffleboard, card games, and even sit and all talk face to face. Something many kids no longer know how to do.

That is where I am at. Kids can use their phones all day in school and at home alone and with friends. They are constantly on them. It is nice to have breaks and do things without them. It takes the pressure off all of the kids and let's them learn to enjoy other things with friends.