Check your phone at the door

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Worth a read: https://raisingamericans.substack.com/p/the-backpack-method. Info is for a classroom, but principles are the same and can also work at home...

Thanks for the link, that is a great write up and approach!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way. Why do parents in this area always think they know how to parent your kid better than you? Such a weird power move to take away teenagers phone. I would be furious if this happened at one of my DC’s friends house. Actually furious.

Yes! It’s a strange kind of power move. It’s parents trying to engineer & control how their teenagers and friends socialize. It rubs me the wrong way. But kids would generally avoid a household that does this on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

such a rebel.

Not a rebel. But kid has appropriate boundaries.

How do you spell "infantalizing"?

You spell it “infantilizing.”

Thanks. Now stop doing it. Your DC doesn't need an electronic tether to you.

You don't get to tell me what my kid needs. That's the end of it, really.

So is this a threat to your parenting? Phones are a personal item and kids are an extension of ourselves. Do you see someone messing your personal item? Like I really don't understand this reaction because surely you are not actually saying it's a good thing for your kid to always have a phone on them.

It's not a threat. It's a power move for no reason other than OP's "This is my house" flex. I pay for the phone. I choose for her to have it. I don't care if you think it is a good thing for DC to be on it or not. It's not your business. It's not OPs business. Or decision.

OP is weirdly controlling over her own kid - fine. Over mine? Not going to happen.

For people like OP- just let me know your weird, controlling rules before inviting my kid so we can decide whether to decline or not. But, lbh, we wouldn't be friends in the first place. So, luckily this will be a non-issue for us.

My kids' friends come over and hang out in the basement. They play video games, generally hang out, and occasionally share stuff they've seen online (I still don't get why they watch videos of other people playing video games, but whatever). They might leave the house to go to Starbucks. But, I'm not seeing them individually staring at their phones. I really don't get what problem OP is trying to fix.

It just comes off as bossy and fussy.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This (having my kid leave phone in a basket by the door) would bother me, but I’m not exactly sure why, because I understand the reasoning behind it.

I would question the motives of a parent who wanted to host my kid, but wanted to make sure I had no way to get in touch with my child and my child had no way to get in touch with me. Are you planning on abusing them in some way and don't want them to be able to get in touch with their parents? This seems weird and controlling.

How did you survive your own childhood?

Cell phones weren’t around in the same way when I was a kid, but if something similarly controlling was implemented my parents would have had a problem. What would your parents have done if you went to a friends house with a group and the mom unplugged the house phone so you wouldn’t be interrupted, thus making sure no parents could call and get in touch with their kids?

How over the top are you? The kids are in a house with their cell phones on another level. Both parents have a cell phone and there is a land line in the house. Could you be any more dramatic with your analogies. It’s embarrassing

[Anonymous]

If anyone air drops or downloads any porn or child pornography (anyone under 18) on your wifi, the parents are held liable. It’s happened. Look it up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This (having my kid leave phone in a basket by the door) would bother me, but I’m not exactly sure why, because I understand the reasoning behind it.

I would question the motives of a parent who wanted to host my kid, but wanted to make sure I had no way to get in touch with my child and my child had no way to get in touch with me. Are you planning on abusing them in some way and don't want them to be able to get in touch with their parents? This seems weird and controlling.

This is completely rational. Despite the intense blowback someone is applying.

Especially since one person has already admitted they aren’t supervising and allowing alcohol. They don’t want cellphones so there isn’t photo evidence of the lawbreaking.

Yes let’s believe the troll post made by the anti OP people. Are you that dense?

[Anonymous]

Kookoo

[Anonymous]

Not my kid, not my problem. I'm not going to control another person's kid's phone. And if there's an emergency I want my kid to be able to contact me without involving you.

[Anonymous]

i did this in middle school when some kids had phones & some didn’t. in high school…come on. They need to start self regulating them a bit.
And the person worried about some kid air dropping porn to everyone - don’t worry about it. Happens on the bus, school, everywhere. But if they are in a group & can interact & fun, they will do that rather than sit around & watch porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anyone air drops or downloads any porn or child pornography (anyone under 18) on your wifi, the parents are held liable. It’s happened. Look it up

So…just change the password while the kids are there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way. Why do parents in this area always think they know how to parent your kid better than you? Such a weird power move to take away teenagers phone. I would be furious if this happened at one of my DC’s friends house. Actually furious.

Yes! It’s a strange kind of power move. It’s parents trying to engineer & control how their teenagers and friends socialize. It rubs me the wrong way. But kids would generally avoid a household that does this on a regular basis.

It is not different than a parent deciding what snacks to offer and what rules are to be followed in their house. It is a house rule not a value judgement on the kids. You people that cannot fathom your kids without a phone for a few hours are certifiable.

[Anonymous]

My kid wouldn’t be allowed to go to a house that makes kids check phones in a basket at the door. So weird!!!

[Anonymous]

It seems so odd to me to say adult guests can keep their phones but younger guests can't.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid would know to refuse and to call me.

such a rebel.

Not a rebel. But kid has appropriate boundaries.

How do you spell "infantalizing"?

You spell it “infantilizing.”

Thanks. Now stop doing it. Your DC doesn't need an electronic tether to you.

You don't get to tell me what my kid needs. That's the end of it, really.

So is this a threat to your parenting? Phones are a personal item and kids are an extension of ourselves. Do you see someone messing your personal item? Like I really don't understand this reaction because surely you are not actually saying it's a good thing for your kid to always have a phone on them.

It's not a threat. It's a power move for no reason other than OP's "This is my house" flex. I pay for the phone. I choose for her to have it. I don't care if you think it is a good thing for DC to be on it or not. It's not your business. It's not OPs business. Or decision.

OP is weirdly controlling over her own kid - fine. Over mine? Not going to happen.

For people like OP- just let me know your weird, controlling rules before inviting my kid so we can decide whether to decline or not. But, lbh, we wouldn't be friends in the first place. So, luckily this will be a non-issue for us.

My kids' friends come over and hang out in the basement. They play video games, generally hang out, and occasionally share stuff they've seen online (I still don't get why they watch videos of other people playing video games, but whatever). They might leave the house to go to Starbucks. But, I'm not seeing them individually staring at their phones. I really don't get what problem OP is trying to fix.

It just comes off as bossy and fussy.

If they are in the basement you have no clue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Not my kid, not my problem. I'm not going to control another person's kid's phone. And if there's an emergency I want my kid to be able to contact me without involving you.

Are you serious? How many emergencies do you all have? It is a control helicopter issue. At least admit to that