Pendente Lite Guideline vs Actual Spousal Support (in VA) -- How did it compare in your case? SAHM
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Anonymous
She said she worked bro... |
Anonymous
But looking around the entire US do you not see that there are a ton of dads who don't do this? Other than sports, I don't think a lot of other dads are talking about these topics or doing this work regularly especially at the lower socioeconomic levels. |
Anonymous
Please upload video of you folding and then putting away in multiple locations in the house a full load of laundry in under 5 minutes. Or maybe you have one of those tiny under the counter washers? |
Anonymous
I am in a 5 bedroom double storey house and it takes me 5 minutes to fold and put away. I literally cannot understand how it is taking you so long. |
Anonymous
Another "lazy" dad here. I did/do all of the above as well. Just b/c you had a sh*tty husband that didn't carry his weight, doesn't mean you can apply that experience to the "entire" US. There are just as many lazy mom's out there. Get a grip |
Anonymous
| OP- I am a family law attorney. Its really hard to predict because there may be compelling facts that would make it higher or lower. but my general rule of thumb is that the temporary guidelines are on the high side of reasonable in relation to the final support award. the differentiating factor is the judge you pull. it's a crapshoot. but, I'm not sure why you aren't asking your attorney. |
Anonymous
It's not about being lazy. It's about specific skills with parenting. There just aren't that many fathers that do this stuff compared to women. Those are just facts. It's like STEM careers. Women aren't doing nothing just because they aren't going into STEM and men aren't doing nothing just becuase they aren't teachers. There just aren't a lot of Mr. Moms out there. |
Anonymous
Ok. Show us the data (i.e. facts) |
Anonymous
I feel like just the fact that we have a history of humanity all across the world now for at least 10,000 years should be enough, but sure. Really though if you google what men do best as adults or what women do best as adults or something like that probably 1000 links will pop up. There is also the famous study Jordan Peterson likes to quote about how the more egalitarian a society is, the more gender roles are emphasized. I don't know the study but he talks about that often if you just do a google search on it. A 74% response rate was achieved, and 1049 respondents were academic physicians. Women were more likely than men to have spouses or domestic partners who were employed full-time (85.6% [95% CI, 82.7% to 89.2%] vs. 44.9% [CI, 40.8% to 49.8%]). Among married or partnered respondents with children, after adjustment for work hours, spousal employment, and other factors, women spent 8.5 more hours per week on domestic activities. In the subgroup with spouses or domestic partners who were employed full-time, women were more likely to take time off during disruptions of usual child care arrangements than men (42.6% [CI, 36.6% to 49.0%] vs. 12.4% [CI, 5.4% to 19.5%]). The traditional family unit, headed by a breadwinning husband and stay-at-home wife, now characterizes a minority of American households (1). Women have entered the workforce in large numbers over the past few decades, and family structures are considerably more varied than in the past. In families headed by a married couple, responsibility for parenting and domestic activities has been more evenly divided (2). Nevertheless, women in the general population still spend more time on parenting and housework than men (3). Scholars have noted that this may reflect rational economic calculations in the face of a market that still pays men more than women (4), or it may be driven by deeper sociocultural barriers to changes in traditional gender roles (5). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4131769/ More Data on the Extent of Fatherlessness An estimated 24.7 million children (33%) live absent their biological father. Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, “Living Arrangements of Children under 18 Years/1 and Marital Status of Parents by Age, Sex, Race, and Hispanic Origin/2 and Selected Characteristics of the Child for all Children 2010.” Table C3. Internet Release Date November, 2010. Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers. Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. Table 1. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, DC: U.S. Dept of Education, National Center of Education Statistics, 2001. 57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers. Source: Family Structure and Children’s Living Arrangements 2012. Current Population Report. U.S. Census Bureau July 1, 2012. According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America. Source: National Center for Fathering, Fathering in America Poll, January, 1999. With the increasing number of premarital births and a continuing high divorce rate, the proportion of children living with just one parent rose from 9.1% in 1960 to 20.7% in 2012. Currently, 55.1% of all black children, 31.1% of all Hispanic children, and 20.7% of all white children are living in single-parent homes. Source: U.S. Census Bureau. “Living Arrangements of Children Under 18 Years Old: 1960 to Present”. U.S. Census Bureau July 1, 2012. https://fathers.com/statistics-and-research/the-extent-of-fatherlessness/?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Search%20-%20Fatherlessness%20Research%20-%20US&gclid=CjwKCAjw3K2XBhAzEiwAmmgrAk-5ZDHy7MDoLypg57yfnKdWUt8kvpya4sxQeSEH8nckfOBBKY0UpRoCs6sQAvD_BwE What The Science Says Researchers at Rockefeller University in New York discovered a single gene in mice that could be responsible for maternal behavior. When they suppressed the gene, the mama mice spent less time licking, nurturing and caring for their young. Does this gene also apply to humans? The researchers think it could. “Mice and women express different versions of these receptors, and it is hypothesized that different versions are associated with different maternal capacities,” said lead researcher Ana Ribeiro. “There is also evidence from mice that there are modifications that occur in young pups that determine what type of mother a female pup will become.” But until research is conducted on humans, the mom gene remains the domain of rodents. https://www.thetot.com/mama/is-there-such-a-thing-as-a-mom-gene/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-sex-and-babies/201109/is-there-mommy-gene https://www.mother.ly/health-wellness/mental-health/mothers-are-not-naturally-better-at-multitasking/ This new research follows a 2011 study in the American Sociological Review which found that working mothers multitask about 10 hours more per week than working fathers do, and that the labor we're doing while multitasking is more intensive and stressful than the multitasking men take on. "When they multitask at home, for example, mothers are more likely than fathers to engage in housework or childcare activities, which are usually labor intensive efforts," Shira Offer, the lead author of the study said when it was released. She continued: "Fathers, by contrast, tend to engage in other types of activities when they multitask at home, such as talking to a third person or engaging in self-care. These are less burdensome experiences." Interestingly, Offer and her colleagues found that for dads, this less demanding form of multitasking is a positive experience, but for moms, multitasking is a negative one: It makes them feel stressed and conflicted. Maybe that's because, for fathers, multitasking momentarily does make them feel like a superhero, but for mothers—who are expected to be multitasking superheroes—it just makes us feel like failures. Offer believes more flexible workplaces would benefit mothers by benefiting fathers: If more dads could start work later or leave early when they need to, Offer believes it would lead to more "egalitarian norms regarding mothers' and fathers' parenting roles." The hard truth is, women and men perform equally poorly when multitasking, but women are doing more of it and are more stressed by it. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1747021820960707 There is a widespread stereotype that women are better at multitasking. Previous studies examining gender difference in multitasking used either a concurrent or sequential multitasking paradigm and offered mixed results. This study examined a possibility that men were better at concurrent multitasking while women were better at task switching. In addition, men and women were also compared in terms of multitasking experience, measured by a computer monitoring software, a self-reported Media Use Questionnaire, a laboratory task-switching paradigm, and a self-reported Multitasking Prevalence Inventory. Results showed a smaller concurrent multitasking (dual-task) cost for men than women and no gender difference in sequential multitasking (task-switching) cost. Men had more experience in multitasking involving video games while women were more experienced in multitasking involving music, instant messaging, and web surfing. The gender difference in dual-task performance, however, was not mediated by the gender differences in multitasking experience but completely explained by difference in the processing speed. The findings suggest that men have an advantage in concurrent multitasking, which may be a result of the individual differences in cognitive abilities. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1747021820960707 |
Anonymous
| Nice try but none of the articles you posted support your close minded, ignorant response to the PP. |
Anonymous
NP. I’m a work outside home mom, and I am pretty efficient in what I do. Your times are crazy for these activities. Meals take only 15 minutes and folding and putting clothes away only 5? Something isn’t adding up. I don’t buy it and it has nothing to do with SAHM comment. BTW, one of the reasons I work is because I think being a SAHM is one of the toughest job around. They deserve their compensation. Your whole comment is not believable. |
Anonymous
Bingo. If it f4cks, floats or flies---rent, never buy. |
Anonymous
(shrug) I work full time, run my own house by myself, and do every important parenting task for two kids. I know for a fact that in my case, the parenting stuff is not 8 hours a day because it can't be. If it's taking you more time than that, then you're inventing tasks that don't actually need to be done. And it's really not that challenging. Oh yeah, my mom also raised two kids by herself while working 50-60 hour weeks. She got everything done with even less "time at home" than I have. Ultimately, of course, I don't care if you believe me or not. |
Anonymous
Ooooh, BURN. You sure showed me. Boy was my face red after your scolding. PP didn't mention her little part-time RE management gig in her initial post. She was mostly telling off working parents for "offloading kids in daycare" and her superior need for her to tell the coaches what their job needed to be for Brayden , Jayden and Caden to excel at lacross. Even she agreed it was a luxury the lower classes wouldn't enjoy. But thanks for your input! |
Anonymous
| h |