Pendente Lite Guideline vs Actual Spousal Support (in VA) -- How did it compare in your case? SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You take half the marital assets and use those as your retirement starting point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You take half the marital assets and use those as your retirement starting point.

Which is usually half a house or so, not enough for a good retirement!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You take half the marital assets and use those as your retirement starting point.

Which is usually half a house or so, not enough for a good retirement!

You really think the person whose spouse makes 650k only had a house as an asset? If you’re worried about splitting retirement assets and not having enough, then that’s a sign you can’t afford not to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You take half the marital assets and use those as your retirement starting point.

Which is usually half a house or so, not enough for a good retirement!

You really think the person whose spouse makes 650k only had a house as an asset? If you’re worried about splitting retirement assets and not having enough, then that’s a sign you can’t afford not to work.

650K is not whole lot and also depends on how the family was spending and saving.I worked and our combined income was close to $1mm. We have 3 houses and pensions. But if it was $600K I think it would be half a house each and half a pension which is not enough for retirement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You take half the marital assets and use those as your retirement starting point.

Which is usually half a house or so, not enough for a good retirement!

You really think the person whose spouse makes 650k only had a house as an asset? If you’re worried about splitting retirement assets and not having enough, then that’s a sign you can’t afford not to work.

650K is not whole lot and also depends on how the family was spending and saving.I worked and our combined income was close to $1mm. We have 3 houses and pensions. But if it was $600K I think it would be half a house each and half a pension which is not enough for retirement

You have an incredibly warped sense of reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You take half the marital assets and use those as your retirement starting point.

Which is usually half a house or so, not enough for a good retirement!

You really think the person whose spouse makes 650k only had a house as an asset? If you’re worried about splitting retirement assets and not having enough, then that’s a sign you can’t afford not to work.

650K is not whole lot and also depends on how the family was spending and saving.I worked and our combined income was close to $1mm. We have 3 houses and pensions. But if it was $600K I think it would be half a house each and half a pension which is not enough for retirement

My husband makes a lot less ($400k) and we own our house outright and have $3M saved. We are not divorcing, but if we did, half would be $2M at least, and more each year that goes by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You take half the marital assets and use those as your retirement starting point.

Which is usually half a house or so, not enough for a good retirement!

You really think the person whose spouse makes 650k only had a house as an asset? If you’re worried about splitting retirement assets and not having enough, then that’s a sign you can’t afford not to work.

650K is not whole lot and also depends on how the family was spending and saving.I worked and our combined income was close to $1mm. We have 3 houses and pensions. But if it was $600K I think it would be half a house each and half a pension which is not enough for retirement

My husband makes a lot less ($400k) and we own our house outright and have $3M saved. We are not divorcing, but if we did, half would be $2M at least, and more each year that goes by.

You must be extremely frugal as these are not typical savings for under $400K income.

[Anonymous]

Original poster here. Thanks to all who have responded so far, but I'm really looking for concrete examples/figures if you feel comfortable sharing about how the spousal support you ended up with (via settlement or court) compared to the pendente lite guidelines (26% of payor's monthly gross income). And for what duration of time did you receive those payments?

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original poster here. Thanks to all who have responded so far, but I'm really looking for concrete examples/figures if you feel comfortable sharing about how the spousal support you ended up with (via settlement or court) compared to the pendente lite guidelines (26% of payor's monthly gross income). And for what duration of time did you receive those payments?

Thank you.

This is a type of question which your attorney can task an associate with (to check legal data base)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original poster here. Thanks to all who have responded so far, but I'm really looking for concrete examples/figures if you feel comfortable sharing about how the spousal support you ended up with (via settlement or court) compared to the pendente lite guidelines (26% of payor's monthly gross income). And for what duration of time did you receive those payments?

Thank you.

This is a type of question which your attorney can task an associate with (to check legal data base)

She won’t get a straight answer out of an attorney bc there are so many variables it’s impossible for them to say, especially if you go to court. Every case is different, settlements are all across the board. My attorney gave me a wide range of what she thought might happen in court(based on her 20+ years of experience) but would always caveat that with, “it depends on the judge” and then she’d cite the 12 or so factors that a judge is required to take into account, including your need and your ex’s ability to pay. She said that if I went to court, it could be anywhere between $2000 to $3000 a month. Pendent lite was right around $2300. I settled at $2250 a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes at this thread. Never get married fellas!

Yikes at this thread. Never give up your job to stay home, ladies! You need to look out for number one.

Well, the problem is, the SAHM role does not get enough respect. Think of the myriad jobs a SAHM does and consider all the people you hire to replace what a SAHM does. I sometimes feel as though the feminist movement eliminated SAHM as a choice for women in that the concept of alimony seems to have gone away. IMO this role should be a viable option for a man or a woman and it should be protected under the law. A woman or man dosesn't stay home with the kids without the consent of the other partner. That was a choice that partner also made, and the consequences of one partner out of the workforce should not be a burden only that one person has to bear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original poster here. Thanks to all who have responded so far, but I'm really looking for concrete examples/figures if you feel comfortable sharing about how the spousal support you ended up with (via settlement or court) compared to the pendente lite guidelines (26% of payor's monthly gross income). And for what duration of time did you receive those payments?

Thank you.

Just FYI it's not a straight 26% but rather the difference between 26 percent of the payor spouse's monthly gross income and 58 percent of the payee spouse's monthly gross income if there are minor children and a different formula if there are. Second, the presumptive formula only applies in cases of gross monthly income that is less than $10K. You should take a look at the statute.