For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?

[Anonymous]

Curious what finally made you go through with it.

[Anonymous]

I got a job that provided a salary I could support myself and my child on even if ex didn't give me a cent. I wasn't willing to take the plunge until that happened, and it took 4.5 years.

[Anonymous]

Inability to agree on how to deal with kid with mild SN.

[Anonymous]

I finally came to the realization that my husband couldn't/wouldn't take the steps needed to control his depression/ADHD. If he'd been trying to control it and wasn't getting positive results, I would have stayed. But, to not even really try, well, I finally got so tired, so worn out and it was negatively affecting our kids that I decided the kids and I would be better off without him. It's such a shame because when he depression/ADHD was controlled, he was really great and I loved him very much. I still love him but he's not good for us. It took me a long time to give up.

[Anonymous]

When I got the wrong cream cheese and he threw it at my head.

[Anonymous]

When he purposely shit the bed to make me clean it .

[Anonymous]

17:33 - did you go through counseling? alone? together? did you have a job or sah? what were the negative things you couldn't live with anymore?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

He told me that he had a six month affair with a hooker (and he was depressed because she broke up with him). Yes, that was the final straw, indeed. WTF? How big a loser do you have to be to have a hooker break up with you? You're paying her ALOT to like you.

[Anonymous]

He got arrested. I knew I wouldn't have to share custody so I felt safe filing papers.

[Anonymous]

He was going out of control. He was not "himself" there was not a lot to be done. He was getting violent. Friends told me to get out before something really bad happened -- too many close calls.

[Anonymous]

My domestic violence counselor told me that if I didn't leave, she was worried he would kill me. That's all it took. When he left for work, I packed up a u-haul with everything I could fit in the truck. Pulled the kids out of school and drove across country to stay with my parents. I never looked back.

[Anonymous]

When we started spending more time apart than together -- then I found out he was seeing someone. No more excuses, no more maybe's.... he went away for the weekend, I packed up everything I wanted and when he returned he was left with his stuff. Never looked back, couldn't be happier!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we started spending more time apart than together -- then I found out he was seeing someone. No more excuses, no more maybe's.... he went away for the weekend, I packed up everything I wanted and when he returned he was left with his stuff. Never looked back, couldn't be happier!

Did you have kids, and did he try to get you back?

[Anonymous]

When I realized he was leading a double life of sorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I finally came to the realization that my husband couldn't/wouldn't take the steps needed to control his depression/ADHD. If he'd been trying to control it and wasn't getting positive results, I would have stayed. But, to not even really try, well, I finally got so tired, so worn out and it was negatively affecting our kids that I decided the kids and I would be better off without him. It's such a shame because when he depression/ADHD was controlled, he was really great and I loved him very much. I still love him but he's not good for us. It took me a long time to give up.

oh god, i fear this will be me in a year or two. another PP asked you if you could tell us more about your situation -- what were the ultimate deal-breakers? how did you know you'd reached the point of no return? how are you and the kids doing now? i have been coasting in this situation for so many years already (at least 3, maybe 4) and part of me thinks that if i'm already wondering how much longer i can take of this kind of living then i already know my answer... anyhoo, thanks for your insights. much appreciated.