For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?

[Anonymous]

Thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

An out of control porn addiction.

[Anonymous]

The last straw moment for me was when I came home from work to once again my husband and the young neighbor girl getting drunk together. Then we waved good-bye to her husband as he drove off to work and we came inside my house. My husband whispered in her ear and slammed the door in my face without a word said to me. She dumped her 1yr old son with me without asking me if I wanted to watch him. Neither said one word to me, just out the door they went. It turned out they were getting high over there. But who wants to put up with that disrespect. She came over to my house 7 days a week ONLY at times I wasn't home. What an uneasy feeling I had every time I left the house, knowing that upon my return she would be there. I would be gone 5 min. to mail a later to return home with her there. I would go the the store for 2 hrs to return to her there. I would go to work for 10 hours to return to her at my house drunk with my husband. It was absolutely disgraceful. She is a year older than my daughter. She would come over with her daisy dukes, a ton of make up like she was going to prom, and a very low cut shirt with her big boobs hanging out. Well, what man would turn her away? She was a skank for coming over to my house getting drunk with my husband in front of my children.

This is a man whom I thought was the love of my life and soul mate. Maybe he's going through a midlife crisis, I don't know, but I've never been so disrespected in all my life. I will never feel the same about this man ever. It is so very, very sad. After sharing 25 yrs of my life with this man, this is the point our marriage is at. Him partying with the neighbor's wife who is 26 yrs younger than him. They're both a couple of ding dongs. I don't understand it, how someone could be so disrespectful in an in your face manner. What he did was dysfunctional and I suppose if I understood it, that would make me dysfunctional too. His actions have caused me to fall completely out of love with him. He has done irreparable damage to our marriage.

[Anonymous]

My sibling was killed, and I was grieving hard. On a Saturday night about two weeks afterwards, ex asked when I'd "get over it" and be ready then go out to dinner and bars again.

[Anonymous]

It literally ended when I came home from a run outside and I was like "why don't you ever ask me how my run was?" Which made me realize that he really didn't give a shit about anything in my life. This simple question led to a full blown divorce talk. I am much happier now with someone who does all the little things.

[Anonymous]

I was talking to him while we were having a drink at a restaurant together - "date night" without the kids. He turned completely away from me to watch whatever was on the big screen over the bar. I stopped talking, a little embarrassed. He got angry that I stopped talking! I told him I didn't really need to talk to his back ...? He blew a fuse because I wanted him to look at me, he seriously was furious about this.
Every other guy in the room seemed to be very interested in looking at me but at the time that only made me feel worse.
Being married to someone that obviously doesn't like you completely sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It literally ended when I came home from a run outside and I was like "why don't you ever ask me how my run was?" Which made me realize that he really didn't give a shit about anything in my life. This simple question led to a full blown divorce talk. I am much happier now with someone who does all the little things.

Sounds familiar. But everything is my fault and thus mine to fix so she justifies the utter disinterest that way. Hard for me to fix things if she won't participate in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last straw moment for me was when I came home from work to once again my husband and the young neighbor girl getting drunk together. Then we waved good-bye to her husband as he drove off to work and we came inside my house. My husband whispered in her ear and slammed the door in my face without a word said to me. She dumped her 1yr old son with me without asking me if I wanted to watch him. Neither said one word to me, just out the door they went. It turned out they were getting high over there. But who wants to put up with that disrespect. She came over to my house 7 days a week ONLY at times I wasn't home. What an uneasy feeling I had every time I left the house, knowing that upon my return she would be there. I would be gone 5 min. to mail a later to return home with her there. I would go the the store for 2 hrs to return to her there. I would go to work for 10 hours to return to her at my house drunk with my husband. It was absolutely disgraceful. She is a year older than my daughter. She would come over with her daisy dukes, a ton of make up like she was going to prom, and a very low cut shirt with her big boobs hanging out. Well, what man would turn her away? She was a skank for coming over to my house getting drunk with my husband in front of my children.

This is a man whom I thought was the love of my life and soul mate. Maybe he's going through a midlife crisis, I don't know, but I've never been so disrespected in all my life. I will never feel the same about this man ever. It is so very, very sad. After sharing 25 yrs of my life with this man, this is the point our marriage is at. Him partying with the neighbor's wife who is 26 yrs younger than him. They're both a couple of ding dongs. I don't understand it, how someone could be so disrespectful in an in your face manner. What he did was dysfunctional and I suppose if I understood it, that would make me dysfunctional too. His actions have caused me to fall completely out of love with him. He has done irreparable damage to our marriage.

Yuck. What a loser. Glad you got out, PP! EVERYONE ELSE, TOO.

[Anonymous]

Ex lifted me up by my throat while our baby was watching and crying. I didn't even feel pain. I felt the pain my son felt.

[Anonymous]

When he called the police on me to win a fight. I was basically staying at home. I got a job to put my one foot out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I finally came to the realization that my husband couldn't/wouldn't take the steps needed to control his depression/ADHD. If he'd been trying to control it and wasn't getting positive results, I would have stayed. But, to not even really try, well, I finally got so tired, so worn out and it was negatively affecting our kids that I decided the kids and I would be better off without him. It's such a shame because when he depression/ADHD was controlled, he was really great and I loved him very much. I still love him but he's not good for us. It took me a long time to give up.

oh god, i fear this will be me in a year or two. another PP asked you if you could tell us more about your situation -- what were the ultimate deal-breakers? how did you know you'd reached the point of no return? how are you and the kids doing now? i have been coasting in this situation for so many years already (at least 3, maybe 4) and part of me thinks that if i'm already wondering how much longer i can take of this kind of living then i already know my answer... anyhoo, thanks for your insights. much appreciated.

NP. I fear this too, only my husband has ADHD and OCD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When he purposely shit the bed to make me clean it .

Omg how could you not see the craziness of this man before you married him!
Man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last straw moment for me was when I came home from work to once again my husband and the young neighbor girl getting drunk together. Then we waved good-bye to her husband as he drove off to work and we came inside my house. My husband whispered in her ear and slammed the door in my face without a word said to me. She dumped her 1yr old son with me without asking me if I wanted to watch him. Neither said one word to me, just out the door they went. It turned out they were getting high over there. But who wants to put up with that disrespect. She came over to my house 7 days a week ONLY at times I wasn't home. What an uneasy feeling I had every time I left the house, knowing that upon my return she would be there. I would be gone 5 min. to mail a later to return home with her there. I would go the the store for 2 hrs to return to her there. I would go to work for 10 hours to return to her at my house drunk with my husband. It was absolutely disgraceful. She is a year older than my daughter. She would come over with her daisy dukes, a ton of make up like she was going to prom, and a very low cut shirt with her big boobs hanging out. Well, what man would turn her away? She was a skank for coming over to my house getting drunk with my husband in front of my children.

This is a man whom I thought was the love of my life and soul mate. Maybe he's going through a midlife crisis, I don't know, but I've never been so disrespected in all my life. I will never feel the same about this man ever. It is so very, very sad. After sharing 25 yrs of my life with this man, this is the point our marriage is at. Him partying with the neighbor's wife who is 26 yrs younger than him. They're both a couple of ding dongs. I don't understand it, how someone could be so disrespectful in an in your face manner. What he did was dysfunctional and I suppose if I understood it, that would make me dysfunctional too. His actions have caused me to fall completely out of love with him. He has done irreparable damage to our marriage.

Pp a very similar situation happened to me. Neighbor, partying, her husband didn't care. I had an infant at the time. We divorced.

[Anonymous]

He hit me three times in one night.

[Anonymous]

It was an accumulation of things, but I sensed my ex just wanted to be married, but not necessarily to me. She kept her own name and bank accounts, enjoyed a full schedule of social activities around her work location that didn't include me, and there was almost no intimacy. There was no "final straw", but I remember where I was the exact moment I realized that our marriage would eventually end in divorce. It was like a switch flipped. I decided if that was going to happen, then I wanted to get it over with ASAP so I could have the life I deserved and not suffer through another 5 or 10 yrs. I asked for a separation so she could think about whether being married to me was what she really wanted, but I had already made up my mind.