Not having a second / vacation home makes me feel poor & depressed. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Holy crap, please go hang out with some real people, not the 1%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot tell you how liberating it was to sell our second home two years ago. I cannot overemphasize how much work/stress it was to maintain another home in a different area. Our visits were not enjoyable for me. It would take half a day to pack and load up the car myself and the kids. We arrive, spend another hour unpacking. Then, you either have to pack groceries or make a grocery run as soon as you get there. We’d spend a lot of time meeting with AC guys, dealing with the broken dishwasher, figuring out what else needed to be done. Then, when it was time to go, we’d spend the day cleaning out the refrigerator, taking out the trash, and either arranging for cleaners or cleaning ourselves. We spent an inordinate amount of our disposable income on things like a new roof or new AC unit for the second home. Also, we found ourselves almost never going due to kids sports, social obligations, etc.

I will never own a second home again unless I’m wealthy enough to buy a place with a second cottage and have full-time caregiver to take care of the house.

Yeah that’s why literally every rich family we know has more than one home. Because it’s such a chore. Much better to waste money and get scammed on Airbnb — and hope some creep owner didn’t install cameras all around the areas you and your kids undress. No thanks.

One of our staff members put dead raccoons in the chimney of our Hamptons house.

That was a “Succession” episode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With seemingly everyone who has one gone from their main residence right now, anyone else feel this way? Be honest.

Because honestly, this week I can't stop feeling "poor" (not literally, relatively) because we don't have a place to escape to. Relying on whimsical invites to friends' and family vacation homes at this point in our life just feels so low and desperate. I don't care how much or how little financial sense it makes, we need a second home. I'm so over being trapped at home all year, fishing for invitations, or even renting for a week at a time. Perhaps this is the precise feeling that motivates so many to buy a second home?

I've seen a dozen friends inherit a large sum, get a major promotion or win a big contract, and one of the first things they all did: Buy a vacation home. Flying around and staying in hotels and airbnbs is for hoi polloi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With seemingly everyone who has one gone from their main residence right now, anyone else feel this way? Be honest.

Because honestly, this week I can't stop feeling "poor" (not literally, relatively) because we don't have a place to escape to. Relying on random invites to friends' and family vacation homes at this point in our life just feels so low and desperate. I don't care how much or how little financial sense it makes, we need a second home. I'm so over being trapped at home all year, fishing for invitations, or even renting for a week at a time. Perhaps this is the precise feeling that motivates so many to buy a second home?

Fishing for invites got real old once we hit our mid 30s. Makes you feel second class, like a leech. Especially once you have a kid or two. And renting is just flushing money down the drain. When you rent you're just lowly transients. The vibe is totally different when you own, when you know the neighbors, when your kids can grow up with neighbor kids. Being able to go away on a whim, there's nothing like it.

I own my house, but don't have any desire for a vacation home. I go away on a whim all the time. Just book a plane ticket and hotel when things are not busy at work. Lots of domestic and international destinations. Love not being tied to one place for my vacations.

Why would you be tied to 1 place for vacations? We use our 2nd home (beach) for weekend getaways and now stay a lot longer because can remote work. We go other places for our vacations. Mostly overseas.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot tell you how liberating it was to sell our second home two years ago. I cannot overemphasize how much work/stress it was to maintain another home in a different area. Our visits were not enjoyable for me. It would take half a day to pack and load up the car myself and the kids. We arrive, spend another hour unpacking. Then, you either have to pack groceries or make a grocery run as soon as you get there. We’d spend a lot of time meeting with AC guys, dealing with the broken dishwasher, figuring out what else needed to be done. Then, when it was time to go, we’d spend the day cleaning out the refrigerator, taking out the trash, and either arranging for cleaners or cleaning ourselves. We spent an inordinate amount of our disposable income on things like a new roof or new AC unit for the second home. Also, we found ourselves almost never going due to kids sports, social obligations, etc.

I will never own a second home again unless I’m wealthy enough to buy a place with a second cottage and have full-time caregiver to take care of the house.

Why are you doing so much packing when you go to your own home? Keep extras of toiletries and personal items and maybe even some clothes to minimize the packing and unpacking. I don’t understand about cleaning out the fridge, too. Did you only visit a couple of times/year?

+1. That makes no sense. Our multi-million friends are rich but not like mega wealthy and they just have a local woman who cleans, does laundry, and stocks the pantry, fridge and liquor/wine when they're en route. I assume they're just paying the house cleaner an extra hundred bucks or so to do a Target or grocery store drive-thru pickup. That's an insignificant sum of money to have everything stocked when you get there.

We just stop at the local liquor store on the way in and stock up. 😀

[Anonymous]

I never want a second home and I could buy one in any vacation destination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy crap, please go hang out with some real people, not the 1%.

Washington is a striver city. Anyone not in the top one-percent is trying to claw their way into it, while projecting an aura of top one-percenter. Not having a second home is a tell that you’re essentially a prole, which drives the wannabes nuts.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't make me an iota depressed. Sounds like a hassle, even if you have someone managing it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With seemingly everyone who has one gone from their main residence right now, anyone else feel this way? Be honest.

Because honestly, this week I can't stop feeling "poor" (not literally, relatively) because we don't have a place to escape to. Relying on whimsical invites to friends' and family vacation homes at this point in our life just feels so low and desperate. I don't care how much or how little financial sense it makes, we need a second home. I'm so over being trapped at home all year, fishing for invitations, or even renting for a week at a time. Perhaps this is the precise feeling that motivates so many to buy a second home?

Envy is the thief of joy. But seriously, I wouldn't buy a second house (and we haven't/didn't), because we like to explore new cities/locations. We have had so many adventures all over the country, and wouldn't have had we bought a second home because we would have felt obligated to go to the second home

[Anonymous]

No, it makes me feel liberated. I can go anywhere I want and not have to maintain a second house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Holy crap, please go hang out with some real people, not the 1%.


Washington is a striver city. Anyone not in the top one-percent is trying to claw their way into it, while projecting an aura of top one-percenter. Not having a second home is a tell that you’re essentially a prole, which drives the wannabes nuts.

Sure, whatever makes you feel superior about owning your second home.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are just a big baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot tell you how liberating it was to sell our second home two years ago. I cannot overemphasize how much work/stress it was to maintain another home in a different area. Our visits were not enjoyable for me. It would take half a day to pack and load up the car myself and the kids. We arrive, spend another hour unpacking. Then, you either have to pack groceries or make a grocery run as soon as you get there. We’d spend a lot of time meeting with AC guys, dealing with the broken dishwasher, figuring out what else needed to be done. Then, when it was time to go, we’d spend the day cleaning out the refrigerator, taking out the trash, and either arranging for cleaners or cleaning ourselves. We spent an inordinate amount of our disposable income on things like a new roof or new AC unit for the second home. Also, we found ourselves almost never going due to kids sports, social obligations, etc.

I will never own a second home again unless I’m wealthy enough to buy a place with a second cottage and have full-time caregiver to take care of the house.

Why are you doing so much packing when you go to your own home? Keep extras of toiletries and personal items and maybe even some clothes to minimize the packing and unpacking. I don’t understand about cleaning out the fridge, too. Did you only visit a couple of times/year?

+1. That makes no sense. Our multi-million friends are rich but not like mega wealthy and they just have a local woman who cleans, does laundry, and stocks the pantry, fridge and liquor/wine when they're en route. I assume they're just paying the house cleaner an extra hundred bucks or so to do a Target or grocery store drive-thru pickup. That's an insignificant sum of money to have everything stocked when you get there.

We just stop at the local liquor store on the way in and stock up. 😀

Same here. We stock up and only go a couple times each Summer. If we run out of wine in between visits, then we walk to the little shop in Penny Lane in Rehoboth.

[Anonymous]

I could afford whatever vacation home I wanted, and yet I have zero desire. More stuff means more problems. When I want to go to take the family to the beach I find the best rental in town and book it.

[Anonymous]

I've never quite understood the desire to go to the same place over and over again. I like keeping my life simple so that I can travel to new and different places.

I think this thread is pandemic related
Less relevant today.