Not having a second / vacation home makes me feel poor & depressed. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never quite understood the desire to go to the same place over and over again. I like keeping my life simple so that I can travel to new and different places.

I think this thread is pandemic related
Less relevant today.

It's the ease and frequency. You have all your stuff there and it's easy to go for a night or two. No planning a vacation, packing everything you need, etc. Just oh we have nothing going on after Larlo's soccer game on Saturday morning so let's head to the beach and come home Sunday afternoon. We keep duplicates of all our toiletries there so we can jump in the car and go. Plus having a place that feels special to your family.

We also take vacations, although it's really nice to have somewhere to go when I drop the ball on planning vacations.

[Anonymous]

I want a family member to own a second home that I can liberally visit...but have zero interest in owning one myself even though I could easily afford it.

As of yet, there is no place I want to visit over-and-over except for a place like Hawaii which will also require my ownership of a private jet (which yes, is outside the budget) as I can't imagine flying from the DMV commercially everytime I would want to visit.

I may move into a practical 2-residence phase for tax (i.e., establish residency in low or no tax state) and family purposes, but not there yet.

We are soon empty-nesters with remote jobs and plan to work for 1-3 months at a time in different locations. That is more my speed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really wonder about our future when these are the existential problems people are experiencing.

This. You sound ridiculous. Do something productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot tell you how liberating it was to sell our second home two years ago. I cannot overemphasize how much work/stress it was to maintain another home in a different area. Our visits were not enjoyable for me. It would take half a day to pack and load up the car myself and the kids. We arrive, spend another hour unpacking. Then, you either have to pack groceries or make a grocery run as soon as you get there. We’d spend a lot of time meeting with AC guys, dealing with the broken dishwasher, figuring out what else needed to be done. Then, when it was time to go, we’d spend the day cleaning out the refrigerator, taking out the trash, and either arranging for cleaners or cleaning ourselves. We spent an inordinate amount of our disposable income on things like a new roof or new AC unit for the second home. Also, we found ourselves almost never going due to kids sports, social obligations, etc.

I will never own a second home again unless I’m wealthy enough to buy a place with a second cottage and have full-time caregiver to take care of the house.

Why are you doing so much packing when you go to your own home? Keep extras of toiletries and personal items and maybe even some clothes to minimize the packing and unpacking. I don’t understand about cleaning out the fridge, too. Did you only visit a couple of times/year?

+1. That makes no sense. Our multi-million friends are rich but not like mega wealthy and they just have a local woman who cleans, does laundry, and stocks the pantry, fridge and liquor/wine when they're en route. I assume they're just paying the house cleaner an extra hundred bucks or so to do a Target or grocery store drive-thru pickup. That's an insignificant sum of money to have everything stocked when you get there.

We just stop at the local liquor store on the way in and stock up. 😀

Same here. We stock up and only go a couple times each Summer. If we run out of wine in between visits, then we walk to the little shop in Penny Lane in Rehoboth.

Love the little penny lane liquor shop … not that we drink that much! 😀 🍷 🧀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday, I washed windows and today I am trimming 60 shrubs on my property while my DH does other projects. And this is on my primary home. I have zero interest in maintaining a 2nd house. If you want to live at the beach, move.

I feel the same way. We've rented our favorite cabin for three separate trips this summer and that is good enough for me.

Renting gets old and requires too much planning, so it doesn't measure up to the casual comfort of owning when you come and go whenever you want. You and kids can't establish roots and friendships; nearby owners disregard you. And of course renting is just flushing money... to the actual owners.

This just isn’t true. People lose money on second homes all the time. It just really depends. Real estate is a gamble. Renting and actually investing instead of just sinking money into properties that aren’t generating sufficient income often makes more sense financially. Again it all just depends on the individual situation.

[Anonymous]

We have a home in the Poconos on Lake Wallenpaupack and it was nice for a while but maintaining 2 homes is just not as fun as you think it is. As your kids get older, you go less. We used to go and stay the whole summer. Now we go a few times for long weekends in during the year and in the summer and skiing a few times in the Winter. We will probably sell in a few years.

Rent an AirBnB. So much easier. We pay water, electric, cable, all year. We also travel all over the US and Europe. We don’t have time to go up there all the time. It’s fun while it lasted but we are ready to move on and sell it soon. No regrets but would not do it again. Rent!

[Anonymous]

We have a second house on the Shenandoah River. It is very much our happy place. Very relaxing. My DH bought it when he was in his 20s and the mortgage was paid off a while ago. I'm lucky to benefit from the type of DH who buys recreation property at 25. Not many of those out there, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never quite understood the desire to go to the same place over and over again. I like keeping my life simple so that I can travel to new and different places.

I think this thread is pandemic related
Less relevant today.

It's the ease and frequency. You have all your stuff there and it's easy to go for a night or two. No planning a vacation, packing everything you need, etc. Just oh we have nothing going on after Larlo's soccer game on Saturday morning so let's head to the beach and come home Sunday afternoon. We keep duplicates of all our toiletries there so we can jump in the car and go. Plus having a place that feels special to your family.

We also take vacations, although it's really nice to have somewhere to go when I drop the ball on planning vacations.

This. We don't really consider going to our weekend place a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday, I washed windows and today I am trimming 60 shrubs on my property while my DH does other projects. And this is on my primary home. I have zero interest in maintaining a 2nd house. If you want to live at the beach, move.

I feel the same way. We've rented our favorite cabin for three separate trips this summer and that is good enough for me.

Renting gets old and requires too much planning, so it doesn't measure up to the casual comfort of owning when you come and go whenever you want. You and kids can't establish roots and friendships; nearby owners disregard you. And of course renting is just flushing money... to the actual owners.

This just isn’t true. People lose money on second homes all the time. It just really depends. Real estate is a gamble. Renting and actually investing instead of just sinking money into properties that aren’t generating sufficient income often makes more sense financially. Again it all just depends on the individual situation.

This is a cope because you can’t afford a second home. You think you can masquerade you’re investing all of your money and that’s why you rent. Bless your heart dear because literally nobody believes you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never quite understood the desire to go to the same place over and over again. I like keeping my life simple so that I can travel to new and different places.

I think this thread is pandemic related
Less relevant today.

Being a rootless transient gypsy with only one residence & pissing away your money renting is so superior to owning a second or third home, building equity, and planting roots. For sure!

[Anonymous]

My husband and I each brought a second home to the marriage (inheritance). It’s such a headache. Rent or travel to fabulous places with the money you save on taxes, repairs, and maintenance!

[Anonymous]

Take some advice from Marcus Aurelius. (Apparently second home/vacation envy was a thing two millennia ago.)

"Men seek for seclusion in the wilderness, by the seashore, or in the mountains - a dream you have cherished only too fondly yourself. But such fancies are wholly unworthy of a philosopher, since at any moment you choose you can retire within yourself. Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul; above all, he who possesses resources in himself, which he need only contemplate to secure immediate ease of mind - the ease that is but another word for a well-ordered spirit. Avail yourself often, then, of this retirement, and so continually renew yourself."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never quite understood the desire to go to the same place over and over again. I like keeping my life simple so that I can travel to new and different places.

I think this thread is pandemic related
Less relevant today.

It's the ease and frequency. You have all your stuff there and it's easy to go for a night or two. No planning a vacation, packing everything you need, etc. Just oh we have nothing going on after Larlo's soccer game on Saturday morning so let's head to the beach and come home Sunday afternoon. We keep duplicates of all our toiletries there so we can jump in the car and go. Plus having a place that feels special to your family.

We also take vacations, although it's really nice to have somewhere to go when I drop the ball on planning vacations.

Where do you live if your beach home is so close you can "drop by" there for 1 day in the middle of a regular weekend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot tell you how liberating it was to sell our second home two years ago. I cannot overemphasize how much work/stress it was to maintain another home in a different area. Our visits were not enjoyable for me. It would take half a day to pack and load up the car myself and the kids. We arrive, spend another hour unpacking. Then, you either have to pack groceries or make a grocery run as soon as you get there. We’d spend a lot of time meeting with AC guys, dealing with the broken dishwasher, figuring out what else needed to be done. Then, when it was time to go, we’d spend the day cleaning out the refrigerator, taking out the trash, and either arranging for cleaners or cleaning ourselves. We spent an inordinate amount of our disposable income on things like a new roof or new AC unit for the second home. Also, we found ourselves almost never going due to kids sports, social obligations, etc.

I will never own a second home again unless I’m wealthy enough to buy a place with a second cottage and have full-time caregiver to take care of the house.

Why are you doing so much packing when you go to your own home? Keep extras of toiletries and personal items and maybe even some clothes to minimize the packing and unpacking. I don’t understand about cleaning out the fridge, too. Did you only visit a couple of times/year?

+1. That makes no sense. Our multi-million friends are rich but not like mega wealthy and they just have a local woman who cleans, does laundry, and stocks the pantry, fridge and liquor/wine when they're en route. I assume they're just paying the house cleaner an extra hundred bucks or so to do a Target or grocery store drive-thru pickup. That's an insignificant sum of money to have everything stocked when you get there.

We just stop at the local liquor store on the way in and stock up. 😀

Same here. We stock up and only go a couple times each Summer. If we run out of wine in between visits, then we walk to the little shop in Penny Lane in Rehoboth.

Love the little penny lane liquor shop … not that we drink that much! 😀 🍷 🧀

DP and I miss the one that was in the basement of Cultured Pearl. The free tastings were fun! 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday, I washed windows and today I am trimming 60 shrubs on my property while my DH does other projects. And this is on my primary home. I have zero interest in maintaining a 2nd house. If you want to live at the beach, move.

I feel the same way. We've rented our favorite cabin for three separate trips this summer and that is good enough for me.

Renting gets old and requires too much planning, so it doesn't measure up to the casual comfort of owning when you come and go whenever you want. You and kids can't establish roots and friendships; nearby owners disregard you. And of course renting is just flushing money... to the actual owners.

This just isn’t true. People lose money on second homes all the time. It just really depends. Real estate is a gamble. Renting and actually investing instead of just sinking money into properties that aren’t generating sufficient income often makes more sense financially. Again it all just depends on the individual situation.

This is a cope because you can’t afford a second home. You think you can masquerade you’re investing all of your money and that’s why you rent. Bless your heart dear because literally nobody believes you.

I honestly don't know many people who view their 2nd home as an investment. They don't rent it and they hope that you B/E when you factor in carrying costs and maintenance against appreciation. They have expendable income so this is as good a way to spend their money as any.

What's odd is that many people who have responded to this thread mention that they take vacations outside their 2nd home location...which you know, involves hotels or AirBnBs or something other than trying to own a home in every location they visit.