Not having a second / vacation home makes me feel poor & depressed. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With seemingly everyone who has one gone from their main residence right now, anyone else feel this way? Be honest.

Because honestly, this week I can't stop feeling "poor" (not literally, relatively) because we don't have a place to escape to. Relying on whimsical invites to friends' and family vacation homes at this point in our life just feels so low and desperate. I don't care how much or how little financial sense it makes, we need a second home. I'm so over being trapped at home all year, fishing for invitations, or even renting for a week at a time. Perhaps this is the precise feeling that motivates so many to buy a second home?

You are the lucky one getting invited to people’s homes and enjoying property of others for free be thankful. Maintaining a second home unless you are super loaded and have staff is not a piece of cake you think it is. Also not many are capitalizing on their second homes and for most middle classes it’s a drain. This money would be better spent as an income property or other investment and used for vacations to go to places you don’t need to worry about, maintain or pay extra for when local governments screw you over or there is some natural disaster or whatever.


I think the only thing you can envy is flexibility some people have to be able to go away for a month or two, which means not relying on a job that rations vacation time or having ability to WAH. People who do not need to work for a living and have kids who aren’t tied to a bunch of activities, sports and having to stay local most of the summer is who you should look up to, as they have true freedom of time. Where they stay is not even relevant.

This. If you have kids in baseball, lacrosse, and plenty of other sports, forget spending an entire summer away. We have WAH flexibility and moved from the area to a resort/mountain time so that we're happy with where we're at when we're grounded for sports.

This sort of hyperbole is such a cope. For one, travel sports are not literally every weekend. And I personally know plenty of rich parents with kids in travel sports who also have vacation homes. This obsession over how many weeks or weekends you’ll actually use a vacation home is a prole tell. Comfortably UMC and rich don’t obsess over such a thing. They want a vacation home to use it when they want; random getaways, holidays, a week or two off work.

People who actually stay wealthy make rational decisions about how they spend their money. They don’t just buy something because it’s a status symbol and “joining a club”. You can think it’s a cope all you want but your overwhelmingly mediocre house in an overwhelmingly mediocre vacation destination isn’t making anyone envious. Get past it.

No, they don't. I have an acquaintance who is a member of 7 clubs, and a few of them required a real estate purchase, so they spent seven figures to buy a piece of land they never intend to build on. They seem to join clubs because they can and each one is the next best thing.

Right? People with money burn money all the time. If the second home loses money net net, who the hell cares, life is short and the family enjoyed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With seemingly everyone who has one gone from their main residence right now, anyone else feel this way? Be honest.

Because honestly, this week I can't stop feeling "poor" (not literally, relatively) because we don't have a place to escape to. Relying on whimsical invites to friends' and family vacation homes at this point in our life just feels so low and desperate. I don't care how much or how little financial sense it makes, we need a second home. I'm so over being trapped at home all year, fishing for invitations, or even renting for a week at a time. Perhaps this is the precise feeling that motivates so many to buy a second home?

You are the lucky one getting invited to people’s homes and enjoying property of others for free be thankful. Maintaining a second home unless you are super loaded and have staff is not a piece of cake you think it is. Also not many are capitalizing on their second homes and for most middle classes it’s a drain. This money would be better spent as an income property or other investment and used for vacations to go to places you don’t need to worry about, maintain or pay extra for when local governments screw you over or there is some natural disaster or whatever.


I think the only thing you can envy is flexibility some people have to be able to go away for a month or two, which means not relying on a job that rations vacation time or having ability to WAH. People who do not need to work for a living and have kids who aren’t tied to a bunch of activities, sports and having to stay local most of the summer is who you should look up to, as they have true freedom of time. Where they stay is not even relevant.

This. If you have kids in baseball, lacrosse, and plenty of other sports, forget spending an entire summer away. We have WAH flexibility and moved from the area to a resort/mountain time so that we're happy with where we're at when we're grounded for sports.

This sort of hyperbole is such a cope. For one, travel sports are not literally every weekend. And I personally know plenty of rich parents with kids in travel sports who also have vacation homes. This obsession over how many weeks or weekends you’ll actually use a vacation home is a prole tell. Comfortably UMC and rich don’t obsess over such a thing. They want a vacation home to use it when they want; random getaways, holidays, a week or two off work.

People who actually stay wealthy make rational decisions about how they spend their money. They don’t just buy something because it’s a status symbol and “joining a club”. You can think it’s a cope all you want but your overwhelmingly mediocre house in an overwhelmingly mediocre vacation destination isn’t making anyone envious. Get past it.

No, they don't. I have an acquaintance who is a member of 7 clubs, and a few of them required a real estate purchase, so they spent seven figures to buy a piece of land they never intend to build on. They seem to join clubs because they can and each one is the next best thing.

Right? People with money burn money all the time. If the second home loses money net net, who the hell cares, life is short and the family enjoyed it.

The only people who care are those who are dissatisfied with their own choices. If you've got money to burn, buy the homes. Or if you prefer, rent the homes.

[Anonymous]

You don’t to be rich for a second home. A lot of people inherit second homes or just workerbees who overextend after a promotion and make it work. They overextend to make it happen because a second home is awesome.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws have a beach house that is part of a private 30 unit development. The condos have a very large private sandy beach area and it's truly a hands off place for them. The only thing they ever have to deal with is appliances inside the unit or if my mother-in-law redecorates. Everything else is handled by the association with relatively minimal annual dues. They even have someone who monitors things all off season to make sure nothing goes wrong if you don't go for 4-5 months (though my in-laws usually go once a month or so just to check in on things). It's walkable to the downtown area they're near and it feels like you're unplugging from life when you're there. And they didn’t pay anywhere near what you’d think when they bought it in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws have a beach house that is part of a private 30 unit development. The condos have a very large private sandy beach area and it's truly a hands off place for them. The only thing they ever have to deal with is appliances inside the unit or if my mother-in-law redecorates. Everything else is handled by the association with relatively minimal annual dues. They even have someone who monitors things all off season to make sure nothing goes wrong if you don't go for 4-5 months (though my in-laws usually go once a month or so just to check in on things). It's walkable to the downtown area they're near and it feels like you're unplugging from life when you're there. And they didn’t pay anywhere near what you’d think when they bought it in the 90s.

Since when are condos at the beach considered beach houses? Your in laws have a condo at the beach. Totally different price point in 99% of cases unless we’re talking Palm Beach, Naples FL, etc. where they sell for $5M+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws have a beach house that is part of a private 30 unit development. The condos have a very large private sandy beach area and it's truly a hands off place for them. The only thing they ever have to deal with is appliances inside the unit or if my mother-in-law redecorates. Everything else is handled by the association with relatively minimal annual dues. They even have someone who monitors things all off season to make sure nothing goes wrong if you don't go for 4-5 months (though my in-laws usually go once a month or so just to check in on things). It's walkable to the downtown area they're near and it feels like you're unplugging from life when you're there. And they didn’t pay anywhere near what you’d think when they bought it in the 90s.

Where is this magic place??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really wonder about our future when these are the existential problems people are experiencing.

5 years later and where do things stand in our now present?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With seemingly everyone who has one gone from their main residence right now, anyone else feel this way? Be honest.

Because honestly, this week I can't stop feeling "poor" (not literally, relatively) because we don't have a place to escape to. Relying on whimsical invites to friends' and family vacation homes at this point in our life just feels so low and desperate. I don't care how much or how little financial sense it makes, we need a second home. I'm so over being trapped at home all year, fishing for invitations, or even renting for a week at a time. Perhaps this is the precise feeling that motivates so many to buy a second home?

You are the lucky one getting invited to people’s homes and enjoying property of others for free be thankful. Maintaining a second home unless you are super loaded and have staff is not a piece of cake you think it is. Also not many are capitalizing on their second homes and for most middle classes it’s a drain. This money would be better spent as an income property or other investment and used for vacations to go to places you don’t need to worry about, maintain or pay extra for when local governments screw you over or there is some natural disaster or whatever.


I think the only thing you can envy is flexibility some people have to be able to go away for a month or two, which means not relying on a job that rations vacation time or having ability to WAH. People who do not need to work for a living and have kids who aren’t tied to a bunch of activities, sports and having to stay local most of the summer is who you should look up to, as they have true freedom of time. Where they stay is not even relevant.

This. If you have kids in baseball, lacrosse, and plenty of other sports, forget spending an entire summer away. We have WAH flexibility and moved from the area to a resort/mountain time so that we're happy with where we're at when we're grounded for sports.

This sort of hyperbole is such a cope. For one, travel sports are not literally every weekend. And I personally know plenty of rich parents with kids in travel sports who also have vacation homes. This obsession over how many weeks or weekends you’ll actually use a vacation home is a prole tell. Comfortably UMC and rich don’t obsess over such a thing. They want a vacation home to use it when they want; random getaways, holidays, a week or two off work.

People who actually stay wealthy make rational decisions about how they spend their money. They don’t just buy something because it’s a status symbol and “joining a club”. You can think it’s a cope all you want but your overwhelmingly mediocre house in an overwhelmingly mediocre vacation destination isn’t making anyone envious. Get past it.

No, they don't. I have an acquaintance who is a member of 7 clubs, and a few of them required a real estate purchase, so they spent seven figures to buy a piece of land they never intend to build on. They seem to join clubs because they can and each one is the next best thing.

But those clubs mean something and are a physical presence. The club of “owning a second home” is an imaginary club - it’s not even a merit badge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws have a beach house that is part of a private 30 unit development. The condos have a very large private sandy beach area and it's truly a hands off place for them. The only thing they ever have to deal with is appliances inside the unit or if my mother-in-law redecorates. Everything else is handled by the association with relatively minimal annual dues. They even have someone who monitors things all off season to make sure nothing goes wrong if you don't go for 4-5 months (though my in-laws usually go once a month or so just to check in on things). It's walkable to the downtown area they're near and it feels like you're unplugging from life when you're there. And they didn’t pay anywhere near what you’d think when they bought it in the 90s.

Since when are condos at the beach considered beach houses? Your in laws have a condo at the beach. Totally different price point in 99% of cases unless we’re talking Palm Beach, Naples FL, etc. where they sell for $5M+

You’re so damn thick and miserable you don’t realize SFH are called condos when they’re in a condo development and have common fees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really wonder about our future when these are the existential problems people are experiencing.

5 years later and where do things stand in our now present?

Everyone who owns a second home has hundreds of thousands in appreciation and has been enjoying it for five years, while the miserable know it all proles remain miserable know it all proles in their $hit shacks.

[Anonymous]

My only home being in Anacostia is making me feel poor and depressed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really wonder about our future when these are the existential problems people are experiencing.

5 years later and where do things stand in our now present?

Everyone who owns a second home has hundreds of thousands in appreciation and has been enjoying it for five years, while the miserable know it all proles remain miserable know it all proles in their $hit shacks.

I’m not going to be mean but there is some truth to above. Our place has gone up about 700k. We love it and have made so many priceless memories there. No way are we cashing out and plan to hold for a long time.

Sometimes it’s not about the money but about family and time though. Yes we vacation elsewhere for new experiences but the second home is where we spend many weekends and the place that our kid will fondly remember spending growing up. Some things you just can’t put a price on.

[Anonymous]

Pre pandemic you could find super charming cottages and gated golf community homes in Florida for just a few hundred grand. Those days are long done. Millennials and gen Xers who didn’t buy when prices and interest rates were low missed the boat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With seemingly everyone who has one gone from their main residence right now, anyone else feel this way? Be honest.

Because honestly, this week I can't stop feeling "poor" (not literally, relatively) because we don't have a place to escape to. Relying on whimsical invites to friends' and family vacation homes at this point in our life just feels so low and desperate. I don't care how much or how little financial sense it makes, we need a second home. I'm so over being trapped at home all year, fishing for invitations, or even renting for a week at a time. Perhaps this is the precise feeling that motivates so many to buy a second home?

Not at all. Never even considered a second home. Sounds like therapy and an antidepressant might be in order OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pre pandemic you could find super charming cottages and gated golf community homes in Florida for just a few hundred grand. Those days are long done. Millennials and gen Xers who didn’t buy when prices and interest rates were low missed the boat.

Couldn’t pay me to live in Fl these days. No one misses the boat not buying in any part of Florida.