Since this is anonymous, why did you REALLY redshirt your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can HS kids redshirt if they don't want to go to school and struggle with distance learning during coronavirus?

you mean take the year off and repeat next year? who knows.... i assume the school would have to take them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids born in ten months — a girl in November and twins in September. I had the boys do preschool twice to put some space in between them and their sister; I didn’t want them all in the same grade. They probably would've been fine going “on time” but I’m glad I did it this way. Academically and socially they are right on track and they are doing well. *shrug*

Damn.

Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Even though he's mature and independent and was reading when he started K, he struggles a bit more at school.

Personally, I'd rather my kid do okay playing by the rules than excel by cheating.

LOL. I love how a decision that another family makes is "cheating" just because you are terrified it will give their kid an edge over your precious little Larla.

It's not cheating. The rules explicitly allow it. Make choices for your own family, and let others make theirs without having to listen to your whining about how the small percentage of slightly older kids is ruining your darling's experience.

I guess redshirting isn't cheating as long as the redshirted kid isn't allowed to enter any competitions, such as class president or valedictorian. They also shouldn't be allowed to take honors or AP classes, because if a redshirted kid is feeling bored and unchallenged, all that means is that they shouldn't have been redshirted, and that the parents and school really consider moving them to their age-appropriate grade. If redshirted kids wants to play sports, they should be forced to play in their age-appropriate grade. I don't even think redshirted kids should be allowed to apply to any top-20 colleges.

If parents who redshirt really aren't doing it for competitive reasons, then they should be fine with their child not being allowed to compete. Otherwise, they're taking away the victory from an age-appropriate classmate who truly deserved it. If an 11-year-old 5th-grader becomes class president, that means they're being rewarded for proving that they're smarter than most 10-year-olds(How much sense does that make?). A 15-year-old 9th grader taking all honor's classes is only proving that they're too advanced for 14-year-old work. If a high-school senior who should be a college freshman is named valedictorian, they've just robbed the salutatorian of some well-earned glory. If a redshirted student gets into Harvard, they've just killed a life-long dream of whoever was first on the Harvard waiting list.

You'll be pleased to know that our redshirted kid is still at the bottom of her class - because she has developmental issues. So your snowflakes won't be competing with her for a spot at Harvard. You are a giant ass.

It sounds like your daughter is still in elementary school. Colleges only look at high-school performance. Even if she's not doing well now, a lot could change between now and when she's in school, and the advantage she was given could kick in for then. So yes, it actually is a potential worry.

She's in middle school. But feel free to worry if it suits you.

Well, that's still not high school. She could still turn into a stellar student once she's in high school.

That makes no sense. Age differences matter less as you get older, not more. If being the oldest isn't giving her an advantage now, it's not going to give her an advantage when she's in high school. The more successful you are early on, the easier it is to be successful later. That's why older kids usually do better. A few months makes a BIG difference among young children, so the kids who are the oldest in Kindergarten have usually have an easy time excelling, which causes to them to get more attention from their teachers, and get tools to continue excelling and get the attention of their teachers later; that cycle continues throughout their entire school career. The reason older kids usually do outperform their classmates in high school is not because a year makes that big of a difference developmentally, but because of the foundation for success they got in elementary school, when being a year older did make a world of difference.

If, for some weird reason, a redshirted student doesn't so well when they start school, they're not going to get that foundation that most redshirted kids get that they need to be successful throughout the rest of their school years. Someone struggling in middle school is going to have to work a LOT harder between now and their high school graduation in order to get into a good college than a middle-schooler who is excelling. If she does end up doing well in high school, it won't be because she's the oldest, but because she put a lot of work in between now and then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just so your kid has advantages socially and athletically and breezes through?

This is actually why we were tempted to redshirt our September-born son. However, we ultimately decided that it wouldn't be kosher and to put in the work required for him to succeed. I honestly just assume that any parent who redshirts is too lazy to do any studying with their kid, find tutors for them, send them to enrichment programs, etc. Every single day, including weekends, I make my son sit down with me and together we go over all his school material. Before the pandemic, he was going to Mathnasium(a math-only-learning center) 3 times a week, including summers, except for the periods in which he was going to the science camp we had enrolled him at. Yeah, it would be a lot easier if he was just breezing through and we didn't have to do anything to help him, but I think that this is the kind of work parents should have to put in if they want their kid to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:there are many studies out there saying that kids who are redshirted generally turn out happier and more successful, such as this one.

That may be true in most cases, but in my case, it made me feel like my parents thought I was too dumb to handle age-appropriate work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just so your kid has advantages socially and athletically and breezes through?

This is actually why we were tempted to redshirt our September-born son. However, we ultimately decided that it wouldn't be kosher and to put in the work required for him to succeed. I honestly just assume that any parent who redshirts is too lazy to do any studying with their kid, find tutors for them, send them to enrichment programs, etc. Every single day, including weekends, I make my son sit down with me and together we go over all his school material. Before the pandemic, he was going to Mathnasium(a math-only-learning center) 3 times a week, including summers, except for the periods in which he was going to the science camp we had enrolled him at. Yeah, it would be a lot easier if he was just breezing through and we didn't have to do anything to help him, but I think that this is the kind of work parents should have to put in if they want their kid to be successful.

... Is this meant to be satire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many studies out there saying that kids who are redshirted generally turn out happier and more successful, such as this one. https://www.cultofpedagogy.com/academic-redshirting/

This is exactly why I wish I hadn't been redshirted. It's put pressure on me to try to succeed, and if I'm not successful in life, it'll seem like I messed up. I would've happy with a modest lifestyle, but since I was redshirted, great things are expected of me, and it doesn't feel good to have that kind of pressure on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just so your kid has advantages socially and athletically and breezes through?

This is actually why we were tempted to redshirt our September-born son. However, we ultimately decided that it wouldn't be kosher and to put in the work required for him to succeed. I honestly just assume that any parent who redshirts is too lazy to do any studying with their kid, find tutors for them, send them to enrichment programs, etc. Every single day, including weekends, I make my son sit down with me and together we go over all his school material. Before the pandemic, he was going to Mathnasium(a math-only-learning center) 3 times a week, including summers, except for the periods in which he was going to the science camp we had enrolled him at. Yeah, it would be a lot easier if he was just breezing through and we didn't have to do anything to help him, but I think that this is the kind of work parents should have to put in if they want their kid to be successful.

Wow..... that's insane. I think what you're doing is the equivalent of redshirting. I just ask my kids if they've done their homework. I'm sure they will have happy, successful lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many studies out there saying that kids who are redshirted generally turn out happier and more successful, such as this one. https://www.cultofpedagogy.com/academic-redshirting/

This is exactly why I wish I hadn't been redshirted. It's put pressure on me to try to succeed, and if I'm not successful in life, it'll seem like I messed up. I would've happy with a modest lifestyle, but since I was redshirted, great things are expected of me, and it doesn't feel good to have that kind of pressure on you.

Just imagine how 20:43's kid feels.

[Anonymous]

We were on the fence when husband was diagnosed with a serious medical illness and was going to be home for the year. He really wanted to spend that time with DS, so we held off on starting school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids born in ten months — a girl in November and twins in September. I had the boys do preschool twice to put some space in between them and their sister; I didn’t want them all in the same grade. They probably would've been fine going “on time” but I’m glad I did it this way. Academically and socially they are right on track and they are doing well. *shrug*

Damn.

Right?

I'm just imagining the insanity of having three kids in 10 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many studies out there saying that kids who are redshirted generally turn out happier and more successful, such as this one. https://www.cultofpedagogy.com/academic-redshirting/

This is exactly why I wish I hadn't been redshirted. It's put pressure on me to try to succeed, and if I'm not successful in life, it'll seem like I messed up. I would've happy with a modest lifestyle, but since I was redshirted, great things are expected of me, and it doesn't feel good to have that kind of pressure on you.

Seriously, you attribute all that to being redshirted?

There are a million ways that parents can pressure their children to succeed, but that certainly seems like the least of it. If they'd pushed you into school early I guess you would've felt pressure from that. When you enroll in school has little to do with what your parents' expectations are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are bent out of shape about other people's kids being redshirted win the worst parents of the year award. Every kid is different and every family is different. There is no one reason people keep their kid home an extra year, just as there is no one reason your kid lost the election for class president, OP! There is no one reason they weren't picked as homecoming king or queen!! Just love them anyway and stop focusing on the redshirted kids as your excuse. Your kids are fine they way they are.

I'm not trying to stop parents from redshirting their kids. I just don't think the redshirted kid should be allowed to enter a situation where they're getting compared to their age-appropriate classmates, because of course they're going to come out on top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are bent out of shape about other people's kids being redshirted win the worst parents of the year award. Every kid is different and every family is different. There is no one reason people keep their kid home an extra year, just as there is no one reason your kid lost the election for class president, OP! There is no one reason they weren't picked as homecoming king or queen!! Just love them anyway and stop focusing on the redshirted kids as your excuse. Your kids are fine they way they are.

I'm not trying to stop parents from redshirting their kids. I just don't think the redshirted kid should be allowed to enter a situation where they're getting compared to their age-appropriate classmates, because of course they're going to come out on top.

The range of "appropriate" age is closer to 18mo than it is to 12mo. You just have to accept that, I'm afraid. If you're super worried about your kid coming out "on top" then I guess you just have to time your conception carefully.

Also, I'm sorry that you see life as a cage match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are bent out of shape about other people's kids being redshirted win the worst parents of the year award. Every kid is different and every family is different. There is no one reason people keep their kid home an extra year, just as there is no one reason your kid lost the election for class president, OP! There is no one reason they weren't picked as homecoming king or queen!! Just love them anyway and stop focusing on the redshirted kids as your excuse. Your kids are fine they way they are.

I'm not trying to stop parents from redshirting their kids. I just don't think the redshirted kid should be allowed to enter a situation where they're getting compared to their age-appropriate classmates, because of course they're going to come out on top.

The range of "appropriate" age is closer to 18mo than it is to 12mo. You just have to accept that, I'm afraid. If you're super worried about your kid coming out "on top" then I guess you just have to time your conception carefully.

Also, I'm sorry that you see life as a cage match.

A year is 12 months, not 18 months. The cut-offs are there to ensure that the oldest student in grade n is younger than the youngest student in grade n+1. Do you disagree that that's important for an efficient educational structure? The moment there's overlap, everything falls to shambles, because it's a violation of nature if a student in grade n is older than a student in grade n+1.

It's the parents who redshirt who should've been more careful about when they conceived. If their kid was born in the last quarter of the year, it's because they conceived in the first quarter of the year. That was their choice. They could have conceived in the second quarter of the year, which would have caused their kid to be born in the first quarter of the year. When you make a mistake or plan poorly, the proper thing to do is own up to it, instead of violating the rules that experienced professionals have worked so hard to put in place.