My son brought a friend on vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way OP mixes legitimately awful behavior with things that aren’t a big deal (like using a lot of spray sunscreen, when it actually takes a huge amount to follow the instructions properly, especially if someone is very large) makes her come across as petty and mean-spirited. Particularly when she focuses on his size right away and calls him a “third-tier friend.” If OP had left off all the personal attacks on the kid- ones that make it clear she finds obese people disgusting and worthless- I think she’d be getting a lot more sympathy.

If the sunscreen incident was the only rude thing the guest did, I’m guessing OP would not be so upset with it. The guest was completely rude and even small incidents became worse because of his awful behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am now laughing remembering when he walked into my room asking had I seen his red swimsuit because he evidently came into his room and thought I was gathering his laundry to do. Or the time we packed 7 leftover pieces of pieces for the 3 guys to eat at the beach and HE ATE THEM ALL lol. Y'all think I'm exaggerating and I didn't even mention half of it.

I do believe you OP, but why wouldn’t your own son say something to his friend? Like your son has such poor judgment in friends and wouldn’t even stick up for himself? Why wouldn’t he say Hey Joe, why’d you eat the pizza that was clearly meant for everyone? I’m just saying most of the issues are with your sons choices - choice of friends, choice of guest (couldn’t he consider not inviting this guy and going alone with his family??), and choice of response when friend didn’t understand this family’s culture/ behaviors.
So...don’t have him invite anyone you don’t already know well. He isn’t the best decision maker here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am now laughing remembering when he walked into my room asking had I seen his red swimsuit because he evidently came into his room and thought I was gathering his laundry to do. Or the time we packed 7 leftover pieces of pieces for the 3 guys to eat at the beach and HE ATE THEM ALL lol. Y'all think I'm exaggerating and I didn't even mention half of it.

I do believe you OP, but why wouldn’t your own son say something to his friend? Like your son has such poor judgment in friends and wouldn’t even stick up for himself? Why wouldn’t he say Hey Joe, why’d you eat the pizza that was clearly meant for everyone? I’m just saying most of the issues are with your sons choices - choice of friends, choice of guest (couldn’t he consider not inviting this guy and going alone with his family??), and choice of response when friend didn’t understand this family’s culture/ behaviors.
So...don’t have him invite anyone you don’t already know well. He isn’t the best decision maker here.

I agree with you, but I've also seen cases where someone has a lot more expensive taste when someone else is paying. If the kid usually pays for his own stuff (the way kids do when they're together) then maybe OP's son had simply never seen this behavior before either and is as surprised as anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am now laughing remembering when he walked into my room asking had I seen his red swimsuit because he evidently came into his room and thought I was gathering his laundry to do. Or the time we packed 7 leftover pieces of pieces for the 3 guys to eat at the beach and HE ATE THEM ALL lol. Y'all think I'm exaggerating and I didn't even mention half of it.

I do believe you OP, but why wouldn’t your own son say something to his friend? Like your son has such poor judgment in friends and wouldn’t even stick up for himself? Why wouldn’t he say Hey Joe, why’d you eat the pizza that was clearly meant for everyone? I’m just saying most of the issues are with your sons choices - choice of friends, choice of guest (couldn’t he consider not inviting this guy and going alone with his family??), and choice of response when friend didn’t understand this family’s culture/ behaviors.
So...don’t have him invite anyone you don’t already know well. He isn’t the best decision maker here.

JFC, the posters in this thread. PP, are you seriously saying that the problem here is OP’s son’s “choices” and not the behavior of the guest himself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And yet you said nothing.

Exactly. Most mature adults would have just told the friend some ground rules, even in an indirect way. One example: Biff and Bob, please make sure you leave some cookies for the girls." Or, "okay kids, we're leaving for the beach, everyone grab something. Boys can you take the cooler/chairs and the girls can grab some of the smaller items." There were so many ways to diffuse the situation and yet OP chose to say nothing so she could just revel in her disgust for a 19 year old. All of OP's LOLs don't change the fact that she chose to just be mean spirited rather than finding solutions. I'm pretty sure the friend picked up on her strong dislike for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am now laughing remembering when he walked into my room asking had I seen his red swimsuit because he evidently came into his room and thought I was gathering his laundry to do. Or the time we packed 7 leftover pieces of pieces for the 3 guys to eat at the beach and HE ATE THEM ALL lol. Y'all think I'm exaggerating and I didn't even mention half of it.

I do believe you OP, but why wouldn’t your own son say something to his friend? Like your son has such poor judgment in friends and wouldn’t even stick up for himself? Why wouldn’t he say Hey Joe, why’d you eat the pizza that was clearly meant for everyone? I’m just saying most of the issues are with your sons choices - choice of friends, choice of guest (couldn’t he consider not inviting this guy and going alone with his family??), and choice of response when friend didn’t understand this family’s culture/ behaviors.
So...don’t have him invite anyone you don’t already know well. He isn’t the best decision maker here.

JFC, the posters in this thread. PP, are you seriously saying that the problem here is OP’s son’s “choices” and not the behavior of the guest himself?

The problem is that no one in the family said anything so the friend likely thought his behavior was just fine. If one of DC's friends were being inconsiderate to me, DC would absolutely say something. Either OP's son didn't think the friend's behavior was bad or, like OP, prefers to just judge with disgust. Not a good trait if it's the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet you said nothing.

Exactly. Most mature adults would have just told the friend some ground rules, even in an indirect way. One example: Biff and Bob, please make sure you leave some cookies for the girls." Or, "okay kids, we're leaving for the beach, everyone grab something. Boys can you take the cooler/chairs and the girls can grab some of the smaller items." There were so many ways to diffuse the situation and yet OP chose to say nothing so she could just revel in her disgust for a 19 year old. All of OP's LOLs don't change the fact that she chose to just be mean spirited rather than finding solutions. I'm pretty sure the friend picked up on her strong dislike for him.

we did do that !!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am now laughing remembering when he walked into my room asking had I seen his red swimsuit because he evidently came into his room and thought I was gathering his laundry to do. Or the time we packed 7 leftover pieces of pieces for the 3 guys to eat at the beach and HE ATE THEM ALL lol. Y'all think I'm exaggerating and I didn't even mention half of it.

I do believe you OP, but why wouldn’t your own son say something to his friend? Like your son has such poor judgment in friends and wouldn’t even stick up for himself? Why wouldn’t he say Hey Joe, why’d you eat the pizza that was clearly meant for everyone? I’m just saying most of the issues are with your sons choices - choice of friends, choice of guest (couldn’t he consider not inviting this guy and going alone with his family??), and choice of response when friend didn’t understand this family’s culture/ behaviors.
So...don’t have him invite anyone you don’t already know well. He isn’t the best decision maker here.

JFC, the posters in this thread. PP, are you seriously saying that the problem here is OP’s son’s “choices” and not the behavior of the guest himself?

The problem is that no one in the family said anything so the friend likely thought his behavior was just fine. If one of DC's friends were being inconsiderate to me, DC would absolutely say something. Either OP's son didn't think the friend's behavior was bad or, like OP, prefers to just judge with disgust. Not a good trait if it's the latter.

My son is another clueless 19 year old albeit one with good manners. He lives with other 19 year olds, I doubt this behavior was even egregious to him. But he's not going to tell his friend "hey there Lenny, you sure are eating all the food and ordering like a MFer! Could you not be a boor and save some sunscreen!" My son is also way more easygoing generally and pretty much nothing fazes him. He just dealt with lenny berating his shoes and golfing and plates with equanimity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way OP mixes legitimately awful behavior with things that aren’t a big deal (like using a lot of spray sunscreen, when it actually takes a huge amount to follow the instructions properly, especially if someone is very large) makes her come across as petty and mean-spirited. Particularly when she focuses on his size right away and calls him a “third-tier friend.” If OP had left off all the personal attacks on the kid- ones that make it clear she finds obese people disgusting and worthless- I think she’d be getting a lot more sympathy.

I said he was third tier was only because someone asked me why this kid was brought along anyway. There is a reason. He's not one of my son's closest friends or roommates, he's just a buddy from high school who was free during the week. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Well, it's been an entertaining (albeit horrifying) read, that's for sure.

I'm thinking it was also entertaining for OP (who may be one very bored individual or several friends together crafting responses) ....I'm finding it very hard to believe that this is a real post, given the way the language shifts between posts, as do the literary references, as do issues like how many boys are involved, etc.,.

I could be wrong; I hope I'm not, though. Whether or not OP is venting or whether s/he's elaborating to get more of a rise out of us (the DCUM audience) is one thing; to imagine that a host would be this cruel about someone who's her son's and her own guest is really, frankly, about as disgusting as the behavior that so offends OP's sensibilities from the get-go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, it's been an entertaining (albeit horrifying) read, that's for sure.

I'm thinking it was also entertaining for OP (who may be one very bored individual or several friends together crafting responses) ....I'm finding it very hard to believe that this is a real post, given the way the language shifts between posts, as do the literary references, as do issues like how many boys are involved, etc.,.

I could be wrong; I hope I'm not, though. Whether or not OP is venting or whether s/he's elaborating to get more of a rise out of us (the DCUM audience) is one thing; to imagine that a host would be this cruel about someone who's her son's and her own guest is really, frankly, about as disgusting as the behavior that so offends OP's sensibilities from the get-go.

What do you mean? I haven’t noticed anything like you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am now laughing remembering when he walked into my room asking had I seen his red swimsuit because he evidently came into his room and thought I was gathering his laundry to do. Or the time we packed 7 leftover pieces of pieces for the 3 guys to eat at the beach and HE ATE THEM ALL lol. Y'all think I'm exaggerating and I didn't even mention half of it.

I do believe you OP, but why wouldn’t your own son say something to his friend? Like your son has such poor judgment in friends and wouldn’t even stick up for himself? Why wouldn’t he say Hey Joe, why’d you eat the pizza that was clearly meant for everyone? I’m just saying most of the issues are with your sons choices - choice of friends, choice of guest (couldn’t he consider not inviting this guy and going alone with his family??), and choice of response when friend didn’t understand this family’s culture/ behaviors.
So...don’t have him invite anyone you don’t already know well. He isn’t the best decision maker here.

JFC, the posters in this thread. PP, are you seriously saying that the problem here is OP’s son’s “choices” and not the behavior of the guest himself?

The problem is that no one in the family said anything so the friend likely thought his behavior was just fine. If one of DC's friends were being inconsiderate to me, DC would absolutely say something. Either OP's son didn't think the friend's behavior was bad or, like OP, prefers to just judge with disgust. Not a good trait if it's the latter.

My son is another clueless 19 year old albeit one with good manners. He lives with other 19 year olds, I doubt this behavior was even egregious to him. But he's not going to tell his friend "hey there Lenny, you sure are eating all the food and ordering like a MFer! Could you not be a boor and save some sunscreen!" My son is also way more easygoing generally and pretty much nothing fazes him. He just dealt with lenny berating his shoes and golfing and plates with equanimity.

Earlier you said your son was regretting bringing him and now you’ve switched to saying that your son is so easygoing that he doesn’t notice how annoying “Lenny” is.

Also, does anyone else wonder if all of op’s son’s “first” and “second” tier friends were “too busy” to go with them because they have been on vacation with, or spent enough time with op to know better than to go on this trip? I bet I know.

[Anonymous]

Team OP all the way. I work at a high school and sadly there are many kids like Lenny. It is all "me, me, me" with these kids. OP was a gracious host. Too gracious I think. Lenny needs to have some one teach him you don't take all the food or supplies when they are someone else's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP all the way. I work at a high school and sadly there are many kids like Lenny. It is all "me, me, me" with these kids. OP was a gracious host. Too gracious I think. Lenny needs to have some one teach him you don't take all the food or supplies when they are someone else's.

Gracious? Hardly.
Check the definition there teacher.

[Anonymous]

This kid would make me crazy - what a poorly raised ass. No manners. Sorry op, that sucks. Any one with any manners at all knows not to take the last of something ... even if spraying sunscreen on the beach blimp.

I would be loathe to invite a kid’s fat friend on vacation in the first place. They got fat by having bad habits...