Whitman HS Suicide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mental illness people, it’s not other people’s fault typically.
Stop harping about things you know nothing about.

+1

And mental illness originates where?
Nature vs Nurture
Sure, the inherented genes matter, but so does your early environment. Every child needs a primary caregiver who is stable, competent and loving.

Many little children aren't getting that anymore.

Anyone?

Babies aren't born with "chemical imbalances" unless there was drug use in utero.

However, lack of stability, competence and love from the primary caregiver during the first three years of life can easily have devastating life-long consequences. That issue might be a hidden cultural epidemic, hence "The Hell of American Daycare".

But make no mistake. While early care at home is more likely to be stable, it doesn't guarantee anything if the care isn't competent and loving. Giving-in to your child's demands is NOT competent care. Children require consistency and help with learning healthy habits on a daily basis with loving and peaceful care. The craziness of the over-loaded lifestyle does not lay a solid foundation for healthy development.

The consequences of neglecting our children can indeed be devastating.

This is dangerously naive. There are siblings in the same family (with the same parents and early care in the home) who differ in their serotonin levels or the incidence of depression. You can have chemical imbalances in your brain even if your mom wasn't drinking while you were in utero. Where do we get these ideas?

Depression has a physical component -- the type of chemicals in and structure of the brain. They don't see the world as everyone else does. It isn't their mom or dad's fault.

Ignore that poster (often called "the Hell of American daycare" poster). She's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mental illness people, it’s not other people’s fault typically.
Stop harping about things you know nothing about.

+1

And mental illness originates where?
Nature vs Nurture
Sure, the inherented genes matter, but so does your early environment. Every child needs a primary caregiver who is stable, competent and loving.

Many little children aren't getting that anymore.

Anyone?

Babies aren't born with "chemical imbalances" unless there was drug use in utero.

However, lack of stability, competence and love from the primary caregiver during the first three years of life can easily have devastating life-long consequences. That issue might be a hidden cultural epidemic, hence "The Hell of American Daycare".

But make no mistake. While early care at home is more likely to be stable, it doesn't guarantee anything if the care isn't competent and loving. Giving-in to your child's demands is NOT competent care. Children require consistency and help with learning healthy habits on a daily basis with loving and peaceful care. The craziness of the over-loaded lifestyle does not lay a solid foundation for healthy development.

The consequences of neglecting our children can indeed be devastating.

This is dangerously naive. There are siblings in the same family (with the same parents and early care in the home) who differ in their serotonin levels or the incidence of depression. You can have chemical imbalances in your brain even if your mom wasn't drinking while you were in utero. Where do we get these ideas?

Depression has a physical component -- the type of chemicals in and structure of the brain. They don't see the world as everyone else does. It isn't their mom or dad's fault.

1. No two children have identical environments throughout their early childhood, even twins.

2. What exactly contributes to your level of serotonin?

[Anonymous]

Feasible scenario (could be far from it, or on target, yet), regardless, here it goes:

Privileged kids, (not their fault), living in an insular environment, where there is no real hunger, war, safety issues, et al.

On one hand, a blessing, on the other hand, a curse?

While others worry about where they will get their next meal, some worry about how they stack up against the other girls, who has the cuter accessory, instagram photo, boyfriend, or - whatever.

Were there competitive, mean, teen girls taunting this poor soul, that she committed suicide? Hopefully the parents of those girls did not raise them that way. Did they put their foot down, or spoil them? Or are those parents themselves, spoiled, living in an insular environment, which cushy jobs, not worried about life, because it's so comfortable. And herein lies the rub. We take things for granted, we forget about values, about how to raise children, values that have stood for generations.

As long as noone goes hungry, people get comfortable, the problems become superficial. We start bickering about stupid stuff. We become so superficial, that maybe, just maybe, as we have heard in other cased, whether bullied or not, something superficial cause this poor soul to take her own life. A life that may just not have been steeped in reality.

God bless.

[Anonymous]

Please read the obituary. It's honest, brave, and will help you understand the girl's struggle. May she rest in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mental illness people, it’s not other people’s fault typically.
Stop harping about things you know nothing about.

+1

And mental illness originates where?
Nature vs Nurture
Sure, the inherented genes matter, but so does your early environment. Every child needs a primary caregiver who is stable, competent and loving.

Many little children aren't getting that anymore.

Anyone?

Babies aren't born with "chemical imbalances" unless there was drug use in utero.

However, lack of stability, competence and love from the primary caregiver during the first three years of life can easily have devastating life-long consequences. That issue might be a hidden cultural epidemic, hence "The Hell of American Daycare".

But make no mistake. While early care at home is more likely to be stable, it doesn't guarantee anything if the care isn't competent and loving. Giving-in to your child's demands is NOT competent care. Children require consistency and help with learning healthy habits on a daily basis with loving and peaceful care. The craziness of the over-loaded lifestyle does not lay a solid foundation for healthy development.

The consequences of neglecting our children can indeed be devastating.

This is dangerously naive. There are siblings in the same family (with the same parents and early care in the home) who differ in their serotonin levels or the incidence of depression. You can have chemical imbalances in your brain even if your mom wasn't drinking while you were in utero. Where do we get these ideas?

Depression has a physical component -- the type of chemicals in and structure of the brain. They don't see the world as everyone else does. It isn't their mom or dad's fault.

There are different types of depression: chronic and acute. How you deal with acute can lead to these changes in the brain and cause chronic depression, so yes, response to initial sadness and grief can make a difference. Also look at the new research on the gut biome. Precursors to neurotransmitters made in the gut. Maybe the epidemic has to do with our diet, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your experience, and I know that's not enough. Wouldn't it be nice if therapists in this area would volunteer their time in our own schools to help within the community? That would be one way of starting to address the problem, this school, and I'm sure many others, just want to chase the problem away. One less thing to deal with I guess. So sad.

That's very big of you to suggest that others donate their professional time. How much of your work time do you donate?
Maybe, if we believe such services are needed, we should find a way to pay the professionals who provide said services.

Again, why is everyone looking at someone else to fix our kids. Professionals donating time - most don't. They need to feed their families and pay their bills. There are resources. I posted the resources of the county. If your child needs services, you get them for them. You don't expect others to come to you for free for something you probably can afford or is covered by insurance but are too lazy to do. This is why are kids struggle. Parents are not willing to step up and get their kids what they need. Its always someone else responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please read the obituary. It's honest, brave, and will help you understand the girl's struggle. May she rest in peace.

Yes, depression is a life and death matter. It's not about the individuals in the story, as much as it is. If the underlying epidemic with these upper middle class kids, who seem to have everything, is depression, what on earth could be the cause. You have so much, that it's never enough? God bless her, no one deserves this.

[Anonymous]

I’m a school counselor. There have been times when I have called parents to tell them that their kids are suicidal and they have screamed at me and told me they couldn’t pick them up to take them to the crisis center. I have had parents come in and stare coldly at their crying kids, viewing it as an imposition or manufactured drama. Most people are not like that, thank God. I obviously work, and I think this has nothing to do with work or SAHM issues. Just make it clear to your kids that you care and that they’re allowed to struggle and you will be their safety net if and when that happens. I understand that parents react in all kinds of ways on the moment, and I never take it personally, but you have to just give your child some love and do what you need to do. Set aside your own fear or denial or annoyance or whatever is keeping you, in that moment, from just being warm and there for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please read the obituary. It's honest, brave, and will help you understand the girl's struggle. May she rest in peace.

Yes, depression is a life and death matter. It's not about the individuals in the story, as much as it is. If the underlying epidemic with these upper middle class kids, who seem to have everything, is depression, what on earth could be the cause. You have so much, that it's never enough? God bless her, no one deserves this.

Some aren’t depressed. They have extreme anxiety. Not all suicidal people are depressed. Some are terrified of failure, loss of respect and love, or having something shameful found out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a school counselor. There have been times when I have called parents to tell them that their kids are suicidal and they have screamed at me and told me they couldn’t pick them up to take them to the crisis center. I have had parents come in and stare coldly at their crying kids, viewing it as an imposition or manufactured drama. Most people are not like that, thank God. I obviously work, and I think this has nothing to do with work or SAHM issues. Just make it clear to your kids that you care and that they’re allowed to struggle and you will be their safety net if and when that happens. I understand that parents react in all kinds of ways on the moment, and I never take it personally, but you have to just give your child some love and do what you need to do. Set aside your own fear or denial or annoyance or whatever is keeping you, in that moment, from just being warm and there for your child.

I appreciate your input. I think some parents are unaware of how callous they come across. My parents could not show me love in ways that I needed. I was in a very high achieving family and felt pressure to excel but I wasn’t talented in things my family valued. I also had trauma in my life as a child. I became depressed as a teen and suicidal. As an adult, I still struggle with depression from time to time.
The one thing I’ll offer parents, without judgement or assumption is - does your child have a relationship with God? Not fear so much, but a kind and deep understand of God’s unconditional love? When I was 19 I attempted suicide. I was taken to the hospital and the nurse taking care of me asked me about God. She did it in such a gentle way. I didn’t think much about it then, but it stuck and sometime later I did develop a relationship with God. I can honestly say it’s the only thing that kept me from another attempt and it’s the only thing that keeps me afloat today.

[Anonymous]

Please ignore the PPs who blame depression on bad parenting and deny the impact of serotonin on depression - they are in the dark ages.

Of course environment is a strong factor, but so are genetics. Maybe PP refuses to acknowledge that because it’s too scary.
If we can blame the parents, it relieves our own fear and anxiety.

I’ve got to call it a day on these two suicide threads - the ignorance is just too disheartening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a school counselor. There have been times when I have called parents to tell them that their kids are suicidal and they have screamed at me and told me they couldn’t pick them up to take them to the crisis center. I have had parents come in and stare coldly at their crying kids, viewing it as an imposition or manufactured drama. Most people are not like that, thank God. I obviously work, and I think this has nothing to do with work or SAHM issues. Just make it clear to your kids that you care and that they’re allowed to struggle and you will be their safety net if and when that happens. I understand that parents react in all kinds of ways on the moment, and I never take it personally, but you have to just give your child some love and do what you need to do. Set aside your own fear or denial or annoyance or whatever is keeping you, in that moment, from just being warm and there for your child.

I appreciate your input. I think some parents are unaware of how callous they come across. My parents could not show me love in ways that I needed. I was in a very high achieving family and felt pressure to excel but I wasn’t talented in things my family valued. I also had trauma in my life as a child. I became depressed as a teen and suicidal. As an adult, I still struggle with depression from time to time.
The one thing I’ll offer parents, without judgement or assumption is - does your child have a relationship with God? Not fear so much, but a kind and deep understand of God’s unconditional love? When I was 19 I attempted suicide. I was taken to the hospital and the nurse taking care of me asked me about God. She did it in such a gentle way. I didn’t think much about it then, but it stuck and sometime later I did develop a relationship with God. I can honestly say it’s the only thing that kept me from another attempt and it’s the only thing that keeps me afloat today.

Devout Catholic here: My faith probably helped keep me from suicide, but it didn’t protect me from anxiety and depression during a time of extreme stress and trauma. I also know at least four very devout Catholic families where multiple members (all males) successfully committed suicide. In one family, it was three in a thirteen month period. SAHM, Catholic all-boys school k-12, popular jocks. After the third one, the surviving sibling, a girl was basically on suicide watch the rest of HS. In another family, the father was an ordained permanent deacon of our parish. The family was debt free, the children grown and in solid career fields. A few days after the couple’s fortieth anniversary, he closed the garage door and lay down in the backseat of his car. So, I think faith is a comfort, but not a cure for the suicidal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid who made the petition is trying to help out. There is a lot of help at schools but there is never enough help.

This is a competitive lot. In our society true compassion is lacking. Suicide by a rich privileged student is not on anyone's radar what with other issues that our society is facing. This will blow over in a week's time.

Hope the kid who made the petition is doing it for the right reasons and not for their college essays.
#Cynical

WOAH! HOLD UP!
I made the petition because I am depressed myself and I can't bear to see another death in our community. I am not doing it for the college essays! I'm 15 years old! I literally just started my freshman year!
#MoCoStrong

Hugs to you. I was a depressed teen myself back in the day. Please don't take what you read here to heart. DCUM can be a rough place. I don't doubt your sincerity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please ignore the PPs who blame depression on bad parenting and deny the impact of serotonin on depression - they are in the dark ages.

Of course environment is a strong factor, but so are genetics. Maybe PP refuses to acknowledge that because it’s too scary.
If we can blame the parents, it relieves our own fear and anxiety.

I’ve got to call it a day on these two suicide threads - the ignorance is just too disheartening.

Listen up, PP.

EVERYTHING matters.
Both genetics AND environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please ignore the PPs who blame depression on bad parenting and deny the impact of serotonin on depression - they are in the dark ages.

Of course environment is a strong factor, but so are genetics. Maybe PP refuses to acknowledge that because it’s too scary.
If we can blame the parents, it relieves our own fear and anxiety.

I’ve got to call it a day on these two suicide threads - the ignorance is just too disheartening.

Listen up, PP.

EVERYTHING matters.
Both genetics AND environment.