Whitman HS Suicide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a crisis in teenage mental health that has reached epidemic proportions. So many girls, especially, trying to show how popular they are do not realize the impact on others.

It is a ridiculous and absurd notion that outgoing popular girls cause other people’s suicides. Stupidest and most irresponsible statement I’ve ever heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a crisis in teenage mental health that has reached epidemic proportions. So many girls, especially, trying to show how popular they are do not realize the impact on others.

It’s not just popularity/bullying.

The academic pressure from parents is immense and is the cause of guilt, anxiety, and low self-esteem at anything less than perfection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just remember that depression in teens looks different than adults. A very active and outgoing teen I know tried to commit suicide 7 years ago. She has permanent brain damage. No one had any clue that she was stressed (beyond normal HS senior stress) or unhappy.

Can you share how it looks different? It would be helpful to know what signs to look for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just remember that depression in teens looks different than adults. A very active and outgoing teen I know tried to commit suicide 7 years ago. She has permanent brain damage. No one had any clue that she was stressed (beyond normal HS senior stress) or unhappy.

Can you share how it looks different? It would be helpful to know what signs to look for.

Irritability/anger and uncharacteristic risk-taking are two that I see in my students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just remember that depression in teens looks different than adults. A very active and outgoing teen I know tried to commit suicide 7 years ago. She has permanent brain damage. No one had any clue that she was stressed (beyond normal HS senior stress) or unhappy.

Can you share how it looks different? It would be helpful to know what signs to look for.

Not PP, but I found this DCUM thread informative.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/674789.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a crisis in teenage mental health that has reached epidemic proportions. So many girls, especially, trying to show how popular they are do not realize the impact on others.

It is a ridiculous and absurd notion that outgoing popular girls cause other people’s suicides. Stupidest and most irresponsible statement I’ve ever heard.

Says the mother of one of those girls. Their damage stays with an impressionable teen long after me popularity has left. You have no idea what you're defending.

[Anonymous]

My son goes to a private school but he tells me about kids who literally are shaking (9th grade) if they get an A- or B+. They talk about getting punished, privileges taken away etc. These are all perfectly smart kids and the parents are just plain wacko. My son is an A/B student, occasional C (language not his thing) and we are proud of him. He has some learning issues and to do that well in his school is an accomplishment. But he doesn't feel like it is and thinks he is "dumb" because of the SCHOOL not us. I don't think it would change if it were Whitman or similar. It is just this area. I say this as an A/B student in a Midwest public, who went to a great SLAS on full scholarship and did well in my career. People around here are totally nuts. The kids are really suffering and we refuse to change anything

[Anonymous]

I just can't make sense of the amount of stress kids are under these days. A terrible tragedy. It pains me that report cards/grades just came out. At this age, it is sometimes hard for kids to see past the stresses of being a teen. Just awful.

[Anonymous]

Is the stress at Wilson the same?

[Anonymous]

My heart goes out to the girl’s family and the Whitman community. We live in such a busy and heavily populated area yet life’s journey can be incredibly lonely. This is a reminder that the stress we put on teens is beyond ridiculous. Even adults are constantly boasting about how busy they are. We are messed up and need to make a conscious effort to calm down and be kinder to ourselves and each other.

[Anonymous]

We know nothing about this child and what may have driven her to suicide. Whether she has a history of mental illness or whether her suicide was an i impulsive act in response to a recent stressor. My heart breaks for her and her family. I do think it is important to discuss suicide with teens and remind them that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son goes to a private school but he tells me about kids who literally are shaking (9th grade) if they get an A- or B+. They talk about getting punished, privileges taken away etc. These are all perfectly smart kids and the parents are just plain wacko. My son is an A/B student, occasional C (language not his thing) and we are proud of him. He has some learning issues and to do that well in his school is an accomplishment. But he doesn't feel like it is and thinks he is "dumb" because of the SCHOOL not us. I don't think it would change if it were Whitman or similar. It is just this area. I say this as an A/B student in a Midwest public, who went to a great SLAS on full scholarship and did well in my career. People around here are totally nuts. The kids are really suffering and we refuse to change anything

+1 to the school - teachers and admin - being a major source of stress. I have an extremely bright DC who carries a 95 in an AP class with little to no effort. Teacher is always giving her shit about something - telling her he expects more of her because she is smart, and grinding her down if something isn't perfect, etc. DC thinks a 95 is fine and would rather spend the extra time on other interests. I make a point of NOT requiring perfection as I think that's a pretty dysfunctional standard to live by, and I'm not too happy DC is exposed to this kind of pressure by a teacher.

I shudder at the mean crap I hear teachers and admin say, the put-downs, especially to girls, and the ridiculous rules and punitive environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son goes to a private school but he tells me about kids who literally are shaking (9th grade) if they get an A- or B+. They talk about getting punished, privileges taken away etc. These are all perfectly smart kids and the parents are just plain wacko. My son is an A/B student, occasional C (language not his thing) and we are proud of him. He has some learning issues and to do that well in his school is an accomplishment. But he doesn't feel like it is and thinks he is "dumb" because of the SCHOOL not us. I don't think it would change if it were Whitman or similar. It is just this area. I say this as an A/B student in a Midwest public, who went to a great SLAS on full scholarship and did well in my career. People around here are totally nuts. The kids are really suffering and we refuse to change anything

+1 to the school - teachers and admin - being a major source of stress. I have an extremely bright DC who carries a 95 in an AP class with little to no effort. Teacher is always giving her shit about something - telling her he expects more of her because she is smart, and grinding her down if something isn't perfect, etc. DC thinks a 95 is fine and would rather spend the extra time on other interests. I make a point of NOT requiring perfection as I think that's a pretty dysfunctional standard to live by, and I'm not too happy DC is exposed to this kind of pressure by a teacher.

I shudder at the mean crap I hear teachers and admin say, the put-downs, especially to girls, and the ridiculous rules and punitive environment.

I'll repeat what's already being said. Speculating about blaming teachers is only marginally better than speculating about parents. The reality is that you know nothing about this situation.

Please spare these parents, and this school community the judgement. If you want to start a thread about your daughter's experience, please do that, and keep it separate from this tragedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We know nothing about this child and what may have driven her to suicide. Whether she has a history of mental illness or whether her suicide was an i impulsive act in response to a recent stressor. My heart breaks for her and her family. I do think it is important to discuss suicide with teens and remind them that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Agree with the speculation being nothing but that, and not helpful.

This afternoon kids from the school hung a banner and put flowers on the trail overpass, and there were tons of kids up there after school. It's heartbreaking.

[Anonymous]

The hush-hush isn't such a great idea.