Whitman HS Suicide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the stress at Wilson the same?

No, not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1 to the school - teachers and admin - being a major source of stress. I have an extremely bright DC who carries a 95 in an AP class with little to no effort. Teacher is always giving her shit about something - telling her he expects more of her because she is smart, and grinding her down if something isn't perfect, etc. DC thinks a 95 is fine and would rather spend the extra time on other interests. I make a point of NOT requiring perfection as I think that's a pretty dysfunctional standard to live by, and I'm not too happy DC is exposed to this kind of pressure by a teacher.

I shudder at the mean crap I hear teachers and admin say, the put-downs, especially to girls, and the ridiculous rules and punitive environment.

School rankings are based partly on scores on AP tests, so that must be why.

What are girls the focus of put-downs? Teachers are most schools I've seen are mostly female -- the female teachers are targeting the female students?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hush-hush isn't such a great idea.

The poor girl has been gone less than 24 hours. I suspect providing you with all the details, if they even know them, is low on her family's list. Give it a rest.

[Anonymous]

My son just came and asked me if I knew about it. She had previously attended an area private school, and knew of her through that network. What do you say?

[Anonymous]

Yes I think it’s important we all talk about it with each other and with our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son just came and asked me if I knew about it. She had previously attended an area private school, and knew of her through that network. What do you say?

It is so tragic. I sat down both my DS and DD, 15 and 17, respectively. And I let them talk. They showed me tributes on social media. They expressed confusion, sadness, and grief. They asked questions to which i have no answers. I am not going to speculate with specifics or generalities. The only damn thing i want for my kids is to survive...to thread the needle of adolescence, feel their emotions, find resilience, be empathetic, comfort friends, understand that things don’t always work out, et cetera.

The whole thing terrifies me because no one can guarantee their safety. I am not going to pretend I
can. But i am going to talk to them directly and honestly even with pain and confusion.

Sending you love and light, my friend. “We are all just walking each other home.”

[Anonymous]

I don't know this child and have no connection to this school, but I'm heartbroken and angry. Suicide is so fucking stupid. Nobody should be dying by suicide. I think this school, probably all high schools need to be teaching kids about preventing this.

[Anonymous]

So sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a crisis in teenage mental health that has reached epidemic proportions. So many girls, especially, trying to show how popular they are do not realize the impact on others.

It’s not just popularity/bullying.

The academic pressure from parents is immense and is the cause of guilt, anxiety, and low self-esteem at anything less than perfection.

Please stop blaming parents. School pressure is one of many possible reasons a child commits suicide.

This was a real person with local family. Stop speculating on something you know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son goes to a private school but he tells me about kids who literally are shaking (9th grade) if they get an A- or B+. They talk about getting punished, privileges taken away etc. These are all perfectly smart kids and the parents are just plain wacko. My son is an A/B student, occasional C (language not his thing) and we are proud of him. He has some learning issues and to do that well in his school is an accomplishment. But he doesn't feel like it is and thinks he is "dumb" because of the SCHOOL not us. I don't think it would change if it were Whitman or similar. It is just this area. I say this as an A/B student in a Midwest public, who went to a great SLAS on full scholarship and did well in my career. People around here are totally nuts. The kids are really suffering and we refuse to change anything

Couldn’t agree more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son goes to a private school but he tells me about kids who literally are shaking (9th grade) if they get an A- or B+. They talk about getting punished, privileges taken away etc. These are all perfectly smart kids and the parents are just plain wacko. My son is an A/B student, occasional C (language not his thing) and we are proud of him. He has some learning issues and to do that well in his school is an accomplishment. But he doesn't feel like it is and thinks he is "dumb" because of the SCHOOL not us. I don't think it would change if it were Whitman or similar. It is just this area. I say this as an A/B student in a Midwest public, who went to a great SLAS on full scholarship and did well in my career. People around here are totally nuts. The kids are really suffering and we refuse to change anything

Couldn’t agree more.

+1

Heartbreaking. It is not just Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a crisis in teenage mental health that has reached epidemic proportions. So many girls, especially, trying to show how popular they are do not realize the impact on others.

It’s not just popularity/bullying.

The academic pressure from parents is immense and is the cause of guilt, anxiety, and low self-esteem at anything less than perfection.

Please stop blaming parents. School pressure is one of many possible reasons a child commits suicide.

This was a real person with local family. Stop speculating on something you know nothing about.

Hello, Actually everyone should be asking,
What could have been different?

[Anonymous]

Do you think screen addiction impacts brain chemistry? In the sense that tragedies like this one are becoming more commonplace?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know this child and have no connection to this school, but I'm heartbroken and angry. Suicide is so fucking stupid. Nobody should be dying by suicide. I think this school, probably all high schools need to be teaching kids about preventing this.

It's the #2 cause of death among people aged 15-24:
https://www.cdc.gov/injury/wisqars/pdf/leading_causes_of_death_by_age_group_2013-a.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know this child and have no connection to this school, but I'm heartbroken and angry. Suicide is so fucking stupid. Nobody should be dying by suicide. I think this school, probably all high schools need to be teaching kids about preventing this.

They do do this teaching. It’s not that simple. We need to change Schools, as parents, as friends, and the media. We need to change the shame around mental illness. We need more kindness less competition and shame. My heart aches for her parents and friends.