Reply to Mom’s Who Left Career to SAHP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.[/quote]

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money[/quote]

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to. [/quote]

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made[b] less than 500k, [/b]I would never consider not working.[/quote]

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money
[/quote]

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.[/quote]

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.[/quote]

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.[/quote]

What the heck are you you babbling about?  [b]You quoted a number.  [/b]The number was half a million a year.  The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications.  And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids.  That’s just pathetic.[/quote]

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.[/quote]

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI.  The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a [b]wealthy lifestyle.  [/b]

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.[/quote]

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.[/quote]

So what?  That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your [b]husband [/b]earned a penny less than [b]five hundred thousand dollars [/b]per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number.  It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it.  You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.[/quote]

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.[/quote]

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought.  Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP.  But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids.  That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation.  I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.[/quote]

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work. [/quote]

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb.  It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions.  You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.[/quote]

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.[/quote]

None of this has anything to do with your “need” for 500000 dollars per year, fool.  Which is what we are currently discussing.

PSA to the strivers of DCUM: the Ivies somehow manage to churn out a LOT of stupid people.[/quote]

Frankly, you are coming off as ignorant and judgmental. You don’t know their financial situation. 
[/quote]

She told us her financial situation you numbskull.[/quote]

No, she didn't. [b]We don't know how many homes/mortgages they have[/b]. We don't know how many kids they have in private school. We don't know if they are supporting other family members. We don't know any of their financial obligations or goals.

Why are you being such a twat? 
[/quote]

OMG you can’t be for real?![/quote]

Lots of people in that income bracket have a second home.

[/quote]

Choosing to purchase a vacation home isn’t a “financial situation” numbnuts.[/quote]

You do realize that homes cost money, right? Many times involve a mortgage?

Sorry you don’t know how money works.   :lol: 
[/quote]

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