Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.

This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.

This doesn’t even make sense?! What does her “Friday” even mean. Why are you upset she has managed to find a job that allows her work/life balance.

Because as a taxpayer, I (NP) shouldn’t pay for her individual luxury of “balance.” I and apparently millions of others would prefer to pay her a part-time salary and no federal benefits — because she is in fact working part time.

Whether she wants to be all-in and miss games or lean out and watch basketball doesn’t matter to me. Her fraudulence is the problem.

A) You don't pay my salary, which is fee-funded.
B) Your payment of any fed's salary is miniscule, at best.
C) you're paying for work. If the work is getting done, the "where" is not your business. And for many feds, and all feds at my former agency, getting the work done at home worked perfectly.

None of that is fraud. You're just a bitter old hag.

For many of them (and many more to come), their supervisors/agencies disagree. Enjoy that richly deserved RTO. And choke on your nasty, childish attitude.

not the quoted PP

I am a different poster but, woof, you are psychotic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.

This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.

This doesn’t even make sense?! What does her “Friday” even mean. Why are you upset she has managed to find a job that allows her work/life balance.

Because as a taxpayer, I (NP) shouldn’t pay for her individual luxury of “balance.” I and apparently millions of others would prefer to pay her a part-time salary and no federal benefits — because she is in fact working part time.

Whether she wants to be all-in and miss games or lean out and watch basketball doesn’t matter to me. Her fraudulence is the problem.

A) You don't pay my salary, which is fee-funded.
B) Your payment of any fed's salary is miniscule, at best.
C) you're paying for work. If the work is getting done, the "where" is not your business. And for many feds, and all feds at my former agency, getting the work done at home worked perfectly.

None of that is fraud. You're just a bitter old hag.

For many of them (and many more to come), their supervisors/agencies disagree. Enjoy that richly deserved RTO. And choke on your nasty, childish attitude.

not the quoted PP

Excuse me? What are you even talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8yo, 4yo, and 2yo. My 8yo is able to take the bus home, walk a block to our house and let herself in with the keypad. She texts me to let me know she's there (although I know bc I saw her on our security system). She does homework, reads, gets a snack, whatever for 2 hours until I am home. I pick up the 4yo/2yo from daycare on the way. So at worst, this is an 8 year problem if people are starting with a newborn (which many are not). Back to the days of teaching kids to be self sufficient rather than babying them until they are 10-12.

Many places (California, Baltimore…) don’t have school buses.

School buses exist in San Jose, Santa Clara, and many other public school districts in California.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

🙋‍♀️

Pre-Covid I worked in person 40 hours a week (basically without access to the outside world) and was never able to telework and my husband was also in person 40 hours a week unable to telework. Our commutes were 30 minutes to an hour depending on traffic. In 2019, we had one child in daycare and another child in Kindergarten with before and after care. If our kids were sick or the school called us to pick them up early, one of us had to use leave to take care of the child. On days that school was out and we did not have the day off, either one of us took the day off or we used the aftercare program (it was open on teacher work days and some holidays, it still is, by the way). Our kindergartener had soccer once a week after school and both kids had swimming once a week after school, and they were busy with friends and parties and activities on the weekend. No complaints!

During Covid, we both teleworked for about a month after Covid hit, then DH was back to work full time in person in May while I was able to find a position that allowed me to telework up until the following spring when our older child when back to school in person. Younger child was in preschool starting July 2020 and I managed the older child's virtual school while also working my demanding job from home. That was tough. Like much tougher than life pre-Covid. As soon as school started the following spring, both kids were in aftercare at school. We only dropped it last year because DH found a work from home job and they're old enough to not bother him when they get home.

So yeah, that's my story. People dealt with it before Covid, during Covid and now, after Covid. You can surely deal with it yourself.

But really, PP, aside from all that, it's truly idiotic that you don't understand that a LOT of people have jobs aren't flexible and don't allow telework. Step outside of your little bubble sometime and look around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8yo, 4yo, and 2yo. My 8yo is able to take the bus home, walk a block to our house and let herself in with the keypad. She texts me to let me know she's there (although I know bc I saw her on our security system). She does homework, reads, gets a snack, whatever for 2 hours until I am home. I pick up the 4yo/2yo from daycare on the way. So at worst, this is an 8 year problem if people are starting with a newborn (which many are not). Back to the days of teaching kids to be self sufficient rather than babying them until they are 10-12.

Many places (California, Baltimore…) don’t have school buses.

School buses exist in San Jose, Santa Clara, and many other public school districts in California.

And in other places they don’t. What is your point?

[Anonymous]

PP again what I should have said at the end was a LOT of people have ALWAYS had jobs that weren't flexible and didn't allow telework. WELL before Covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really want to know how other parents are managing RTO without a village.

I quit a job that paid $112K in the state government because of RTO, and we had no support network - no grandparents, friends, or family who could help with pick-up/drop-off or sick days.

My husband is gone from 4AM - 4PM in a secure, union job. I am solely responsible for school drop-off, pickup, and sick days. I was managing a full-time, supervisory position in the government, which was becoming incredibly challenging. When I looked at our finances, I could have enrolled our son in a before/after school care program or hired a nanny, which would cost us roughly $2000/month. This would mean he is at school from 7 AM - 4PM to allow for commute times. My son struggled to adjust to a full-time Kindergarten schedule from 8:30 - 3 PM, and his teacher suggested half days. (He is in an affordable private school)

My manager wanted me to come into the office for 2 days/week. This would mean I leave the house at 6:45 AM to get to work on time by 7:45 for an 8AM start. I was in a supervisory role that required me to train my staff. But we couldn't leave the office once we were there. So that meant I was there for 2 days/week, with my butt in a seat, and then had to compress my staff's training schedule to 3 other days/week. I had five staff in training who all needed extensive support.

So, I quit. I took a significant pay cut and am now making $30/hr in the private sector. I now have fewer retirement contributions but plan to return to a full-time, salaried base position when my son is old enough to stay home alone for a few hours. However, my office is home-based, and I have 2-3 hours of work meetings with clients in the field. I also make my own schedule and work 30 hours/week. My take-home pay is significantly less, but my son is happy to have me drop him off, and I can always be there for sick days. Before, I was scrambling to get everything done.

wait so you were performing childcare and working simultaneously? I guess this is why RTO was needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gotta do what ya gotta do.

We were spoiled with remote jobs.

But moms have been doing this for decades before.

Put your big girl pants on and learn to juggle a job and kids like the rest of us.

Your kids will get older and it gets easier. They will get more self sufficient.

seriously, so many moms have successfully juggled working full time out of house for decades. I am baffled how this is a problem. If you don’t have family, team up with neighbors and friends. Hire a teenager or neighbor to drop off and pick up. Get creative.

What OP is saying is that she can actually afford to not work and wants to gripe about her personal optional decision to not work. What a luxury that many moms do not have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:cool story bro

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.

This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.

This doesn’t even make sense?! What does her “Friday” even mean. Why are you upset she has managed to find a job that allows her work/life balance.

Because as a taxpayer, I (NP) shouldn’t pay for her individual luxury of “balance.” I and apparently millions of others would prefer to pay her a part-time salary and no federal benefits — because she is in fact working part time.

Whether she wants to be all-in and miss games or lean out and watch basketball doesn’t matter to me. Her fraudulence is the problem.

A) You don't pay my salary, which is fee-funded.
B) Your payment of any fed's salary is miniscule, at best.
C) you're paying for work. If the work is getting done, the "where" is not your business. And for many feds, and all feds at my former agency, getting the work done at home worked perfectly.

None of that is fraud. You're just a bitter old hag.

For many of them (and many more to come), their supervisors/agencies disagree. Enjoy that richly deserved RTO. And choke on your nasty, childish attitude.

not the quoted PP

I am a different poster but, woof, you are psychotic.

+1 We will RTO but PP will still be unhappy about her life.

[Anonymous]

My kid was in daycare from 7am to 5 or 5:30 pm from the age of 4 months. Then before and after car in elementary. He’s 12 now in middle school and gets home before me, it’s totally fine.

[Anonymous]

It’s not going back to office that is a problem for most, it’s finding reliable and affordable childcare in the middle of the school year. Most afterschool providers don’t have spaces in the middle of the year. They base their hiring on the initial beginning of the year requests. And this is super short notice. Most people have to sign up on a list months before they need care. Pre-COVID, I signed up on several waitlists while pregnant so I could get a spot in a daycare. It’s wild to me that so few people have empathy for the dramatic changes so many families are going through right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who managed this problem pre covid. It's not that I want more women to be miserable. I agree that flexibility is priceless for working families and I also agree that RTO will have the largest negative impact on women and that is sad.

But I am also annoyed at how clueless and entitled some of these posts are! This is a common problem that until very recently we all dealt with. It's not a unique attack on you. You can figure it out.

I also agree with the poster who said people used to prioritize commute when buying a home. I recall making a test drive to pick my kids up and drive by our potential new home to see what that would be like before putting in an offer. We didnt put offers in to houses that had more difficult commutes. Even if we loved the space the daily reality of needing to pick up kids and get to from the office was most important.

Sorry it's changing abruptly but not sorry you can't understand that this is life.

What if your job abruptly changes where your office is located?

[Anonymous]

Hopefully nobody is requiring daycare for RTO!

I know Feds and Fed contractors who had their 6-8yo kids with them at home all summer. Not a single camp. Lots of screen time but still, don’t know how they did it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I rode an hour long plus vanpool when I first started in the gov't. There was no telework. You had to figure it out.

Now I see people hopping off the computer and going to school pickup and then resuming work with their young kids in the house and thinking there is nothing wrong with it.

Yes why not? It takes me a total of 20 minutes to pick up my kids from the bus stop and come back home. I can continue working and make up my time. What’s the problem? When you r in the office did you not chat with your coworker? Perhaps go to lunch? Chat after a meeting?