Style choices that age women in their 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that really big boobs on women are more aging over 40. It’s just gravity. I’m at a family function right now and my cousins with big boobs look older than same age people with small or even just average-sized chests. It changes your body shape and dictates how you dress to some degree. And yes, it all means more matronly.

Someone posted pics of Helen Mirren upthread to prove an older woman with big breasts can look youthful and hot. That’s how you know it’s true— Helen Mirren is the exception that proves the rule. She makes wrinkles and gray hair and a womanly older body look good.

There’s only one Helen Mirren.

So, how many attractive older women with large breasts do I have to post to make the point? Because I can think of several without trying.

And yes, these are women paid to be beautiful. They are professionally in the public eye. But c'mon, the critical stance that big breast on their own as an attribute will necessarily make you look matronly is, well, bunk. You know that. It's a lot of things added up, including how you style your body (as well as 600 other things).

If you look matronly, it's not because your breasts are big. It's because those breasts aren't supported, or are dwarfed by a protruding belly, or are draped in eight thousand dishwater-colored scarves, or whatever. But it's not just because of the breasts. Sorry if that pricks the happy bubble of revenge for some people, but that was a gross one to begin with anyway.

There is a middle aged body we are all familiar with that starts to look more rectangular. I think that's what PP was talking about. And you do often see women who've come into that shape in tunics that emphasize it. I just don't know what the heck you're supposed to do about it or how you can call it a "style choice." Our bodies make some choices for us!

That highlights the issue with tunics- no waist.

But that’s why I’m WEARING the mother f$&ing tunic in the first place!!

This is exhausting and the reason the smart women hit 40 and move to the edge of the woods to be witches.

Look, a witch's caftan is a style CHOICE that I fully support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that really big boobs on women are more aging over 40. It’s just gravity. I’m at a family function right now and my cousins with big boobs look older than same age people with small or even just average-sized chests. It changes your body shape and dictates how you dress to some degree. And yes, it all means more matronly.

Someone posted pics of Helen Mirren upthread to prove an older woman with big breasts can look youthful and hot. That’s how you know it’s true— Helen Mirren is the exception that proves the rule. She makes wrinkles and gray hair and a womanly older body look good.

There’s only one Helen Mirren.

So, how many attractive older women with large breasts do I have to post to make the point? Because I can think of several without trying.

And yes, these are women paid to be beautiful. They are professionally in the public eye. But c'mon, the critical stance that big breast on their own as an attribute will necessarily make you look matronly is, well, bunk. You know that. It's a lot of things added up, including how you style your body (as well as 600 other things).

If you look matronly, it's not because your breasts are big. It's because those breasts aren't supported, or are dwarfed by a protruding belly, or are draped in eight thousand dishwater-colored scarves, or whatever. But it's not just because of the breasts. Sorry if that pricks the happy bubble of revenge for some people, but that was a gross one to begin with anyway.

There is a middle aged body we are all familiar with that starts to look more rectangular. I think that's what PP was talking about. And you do often see women who've come into that shape in tunics that emphasize it. I just don't know what the heck you're supposed to do about it or how you can call it a "style choice." Our bodies make some choices for us!

That highlights the issue with tunics- no waist.

But that’s why I’m WEARING the mother f$&ing tunic in the first place!!

This is exhausting and the reason the smart women hit 40 and move to the edge of the woods to be witches.

This thread is frustrating BUT there is actually a sensible answer to these questions.

Did anyone else ever watch that show What Not to Wear? The fashion would now be dated, but they did do a good job, I think, helping women figure out how to dress bodies with middle age proportions. I definitely learned some useful things from that show, especially about fit.

Something they used to emphasize was using items that fit relatively close to the body but were not tight, and then using the shape of the garment and hem lengths to help create the most flattering shape. Which, yes, would generally mean creating a waist. But you can do it without wearing something tight around your waist!

So wearing a tunic over jeggings because you’re losing your waist is just going to emphasize the fact that you are losing your waist. What they would suggest instead is wearing a slight flow-y knee length it midi dress (not voluminous but not at all tight, so your getting the ease of a tunic, but in a dress) but then topping it with a slightly fitted cropped jacket (denim, leather, knit— it will depend in your style and preferences). This creates the illusion of a waist without actually having to wear something tight around your waist, especially if you are self conscious about a belly or apple proportions.

The jacket also helps a lot with a bigger bust by creating a vertical line down your torso that keeps things from looking too wide or square. Using contrasting colors can help with this too.

And if you struggle to find jackets that fit a larger chest, they’d tell you to buy in a size that fits your chest and then get it tailored.

I personally think this advice still works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that really big boobs on women are more aging over 40. It’s just gravity. I’m at a family function right now and my cousins with big boobs look older than same age people with small or even just average-sized chests. It changes your body shape and dictates how you dress to some degree. And yes, it all means more matronly.

Someone posted pics of Helen Mirren upthread to prove an older woman with big breasts can look youthful and hot. That’s how you know it’s true— Helen Mirren is the exception that proves the rule. She makes wrinkles and gray hair and a womanly older body look good.

There’s only one Helen Mirren.

So, how many attractive older women with large breasts do I have to post to make the point? Because I can think of several without trying.

And yes, these are women paid to be beautiful. They are professionally in the public eye. But c'mon, the critical stance that big breast on their own as an attribute will necessarily make you look matronly is, well, bunk. You know that. It's a lot of things added up, including how you style your body (as well as 600 other things).

If you look matronly, it's not because your breasts are big. It's because those breasts aren't supported, or are dwarfed by a protruding belly, or are draped in eight thousand dishwater-colored scarves, or whatever. But it's not just because of the breasts. Sorry if that pricks the happy bubble of revenge for some people, but that was a gross one to begin with anyway.

There is a middle aged body we are all familiar with that starts to look more rectangular. I think that's what PP was talking about. And you do often see women who've come into that shape in tunics that emphasize it. I just don't know what the heck you're supposed to do about it or how you can call it a "style choice." Our bodies make some choices for us!

That highlights the issue with tunics- no waist.

But that’s why I’m WEARING the mother f$&ing tunic in the first place!!

This is exhausting and the reason the smart women hit 40 and move to the edge of the woods to be witches.

Look, a witch's caftan is a style CHOICE that I fully support.

Right? Witches cabins are probably a huge tax advantage. And if I need a man, there’s no reason I can’t take one captive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that really big boobs on women are more aging over 40. It’s just gravity. I’m at a family function right now and my cousins with big boobs look older than same age people with small or even just average-sized chests. It changes your body shape and dictates how you dress to some degree. And yes, it all means more matronly.

Someone posted pics of Helen Mirren upthread to prove an older woman with big breasts can look youthful and hot. That’s how you know it’s true— Helen Mirren is the exception that proves the rule. She makes wrinkles and gray hair and a womanly older body look good.

There’s only one Helen Mirren.

So, how many attractive older women with large breasts do I have to post to make the point? Because I can think of several without trying.

And yes, these are women paid to be beautiful. They are professionally in the public eye. But c'mon, the critical stance that big breast on their own as an attribute will necessarily make you look matronly is, well, bunk. You know that. It's a lot of things added up, including how you style your body (as well as 600 other things).

If you look matronly, it's not because your breasts are big. It's because those breasts aren't supported, or are dwarfed by a protruding belly, or are draped in eight thousand dishwater-colored scarves, or whatever. But it's not just because of the breasts. Sorry if that pricks the happy bubble of revenge for some people, but that was a gross one to begin with anyway.

There is a middle aged body we are all familiar with that starts to look more rectangular. I think that's what PP was talking about. And you do often see women who've come into that shape in tunics that emphasize it. I just don't know what the heck you're supposed to do about it or how you can call it a "style choice." Our bodies make some choices for us!

That highlights the issue with tunics- no waist.

But that’s why I’m WEARING the mother f$&ing tunic in the first place!!

This is exhausting and the reason the smart women hit 40 and move to the edge of the woods to be witches.

This thread is frustrating BUT there is actually a sensible answer to these questions.

Did anyone else ever watch that show What Not to Wear? The fashion would now be dated, but they did do a good job, I think, helping women figure out how to dress bodies with middle age proportions. I definitely learned some useful things from that show, especially about fit.

Something they used to emphasize was using items that fit relatively close to the body but were not tight, and then using the shape of the garment and hem lengths to help create the most flattering shape. Which, yes, would generally mean creating a waist. But you can do it without wearing something tight around your waist!

So wearing a tunic over jeggings because you’re losing your waist is just going to emphasize the fact that you are losing your waist. What they would suggest instead is wearing a slight flow-y knee length it midi dress (not voluminous but not at all tight, so your getting the ease of a tunic, but in a dress) but then topping it with a slightly fitted cropped jacket (denim, leather, knit— it will depend in your style and preferences). This creates the illusion of a waist without actually having to wear something tight around your waist, especially if you are self conscious about a belly or apple proportions.

The jacket also helps a lot with a bigger bust by creating a vertical line down your torso that keeps things from looking too wide or square. Using contrasting colors can help with this too.

And if you struggle to find jackets that fit a larger chest, they’d tell you to buy in a size that fits your chest and then get it tailored.

I personally think this advice still works.

It does, but tailoring and structure are for people who stay the same size and like dry cleaning. I’ve never been either. I think I’ll stick to tunics and making potions. Maybe I’ll quietly do good for the townspeople, or at least start out providing extra judicial justice for the people oppressed by the system until I am inevitably corrupted by my own power.

Maybe the devil takes the tunics because he wants us to be stylish and the dancing naked is just trying to get him to give them back.

[Anonymous]

I doubt anyone here is really trying to look like they’re in their 20s. Do you know any 20 year olds? I know many and they don’t have hairstyles, they usually just wear their hair long or up.or alternatively they have half their hair buzzed and a sleeve tattoo. They run around in crop tops and tiny shorts whether they have the body for it or not. They look like kids still. One 26 year old I know wears super short overalls.

People here want to look polished and put together but that isn’t what most 20-somethings actually look like. When they do make the effort they look older. Lol. If you want to look young you need to adopt the energy, attitude and mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that really big boobs on women are more aging over 40. It’s just gravity. I’m at a family function right now and my cousins with big boobs look older than same age people with small or even just average-sized chests. It changes your body shape and dictates how you dress to some degree. And yes, it all means more matronly.

Someone posted pics of Helen Mirren upthread to prove an older woman with big breasts can look youthful and hot. That’s how you know it’s true— Helen Mirren is the exception that proves the rule. She makes wrinkles and gray hair and a womanly older body look good.

There’s only one Helen Mirren.

So, how many attractive older women with large breasts do I have to post to make the point? Because I can think of several without trying.

And yes, these are women paid to be beautiful. They are professionally in the public eye. But c'mon, the critical stance that big breast on their own as an attribute will necessarily make you look matronly is, well, bunk. You know that. It's a lot of things added up, including how you style your body (as well as 600 other things).

If you look matronly, it's not because your breasts are big. It's because those breasts aren't supported, or are dwarfed by a protruding belly, or are draped in eight thousand dishwater-colored scarves, or whatever. But it's not just because of the breasts. Sorry if that pricks the happy bubble of revenge for some people, but that was a gross one to begin with anyway.

There is a middle aged body we are all familiar with that starts to look more rectangular. I think that's what PP was talking about. And you do often see women who've come into that shape in tunics that emphasize it. I just don't know what the heck you're supposed to do about it or how you can call it a "style choice." Our bodies make some choices for us!

That highlights the issue with tunics- no waist.

But that’s why I’m WEARING the mother f$&ing tunic in the first place!!

This is exhausting and the reason the smart women hit 40 and move to the edge of the woods to be witches.

This thread is frustrating BUT there is actually a sensible answer to these questions.

Did anyone else ever watch that show What Not to Wear? The fashion would now be dated, but they did do a good job, I think, helping women figure out how to dress bodies with middle age proportions. I definitely learned some useful things from that show, especially about fit.

Something they used to emphasize was using items that fit relatively close to the body but were not tight, and then using the shape of the garment and hem lengths to help create the most flattering shape. Which, yes, would generally mean creating a waist. But you can do it without wearing something tight around your waist!

So wearing a tunic over jeggings because you’re losing your waist is just going to emphasize the fact that you are losing your waist. What they would suggest instead is wearing a slight flow-y knee length it midi dress (not voluminous but not at all tight, so your getting the ease of a tunic, but in a dress) but then topping it with a slightly fitted cropped jacket (denim, leather, knit— it will depend in your style and preferences). This creates the illusion of a waist without actually having to wear something tight around your waist, especially if you are self conscious about a belly or apple proportions.

The jacket also helps a lot with a bigger bust by creating a vertical line down your torso that keeps things from looking too wide or square. Using contrasting colors can help with this too.

And if you struggle to find jackets that fit a larger chest, they’d tell you to buy in a size that fits your chest and then get it tailored.

I personally think this advice still works.

It does, but tailoring and structure are for people who stay the same size and like dry cleaning. I’ve never been either. I think I’ll stick to tunics and making potions. Maybe I’ll quietly do good for the townspeople, or at least start out providing extra judicial justice for the people oppressed by the system until I am inevitably corrupted by my own power.

Maybe the devil takes the tunics because he wants us to be stylish and the dancing naked is just trying to get him to give them back.

^ If you wrote a novel I would read it, just FYI

[Anonymous]

I think what it all comes down to is that the older you get, the more work (and money) it takes to make yourself look "good." Dying your hair, whitening your teeth. Dermatologic and plastic procedures. Finding a hairstyle that works with your thinning hair (which may also be straighter or curlier than it used to be depending on the texture of your gray hairs). Eating less in menopause to maintain your weight. Finding a good bra. Finding clothes that fit properly and emphasize the right parts and de-emphasize or cover the parts you don't like. Getting clothes professionally altered as needed. Finding shoes that look good but don't rub your bunions or irritate your neuroma or aggravate your arthritis.

Many women don't have the luxury of time and money for all this. And even for those who do, many don't care to spend it this way. What, after all, is the point of trying to look younger? Who am I trying to fool? and for what purpose?

[Anonymous]

That highlights the issue with tunics- no waist.


But that’s why I’m WEARING the mother f$&ing tunic in the first place!!

This is exhausting and the reason the smart women hit 40 and move to the edge of the woods to be witches.

Look, I can completely relate to the waist issue, but the tunic generally does not make it look better. I have found that the best approach to dressing for my lack of a waist and middle-aged weight gain is a preppy, relatively boring look - basic colors and cuts. If you are wearing the tunics because you like the way they look generally, of course, keep wearing what you like and feel comfortable in. If you are wearing them to hide the lack of a waist, however, it's not a good approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clinging to trends from our younger years. I know jean jackets are very comfortable and I like the look, but I think they are dated looking on older women. But, why should anyone care what i think? If you love it, wear it, plenty of people don’t think like me.

And I’d bet I wear stuff other people think looks dated. But I wear what I love and don’t care what people think.

So women of age 40 are not supposed to wear tunics. We are not supposed to wear denim jackets. What are we allowed to wear when it is a bit chilly to not age us.

Lady, this is still DCUM and these boards are full of bad advice, particularly in the fashion and diet sections.

[Anonymous]

Many women don't have the luxury of time and money for all this. And even for those who do, many don't care to spend it this way. What, after all, is the point of trying to look younger? Who am I trying to fool? and for what purpose?

Hmm, I don't think of it as trying to look younger, per se. I think of it as trying to look good for the age I am. However, I don't have cosmetic procedures. I do whiten my teeth, color my hair, and try to wear clothing and bras that fit well and flatter me. But I think I look like a decently put together 50 year old woman (my actual age), not a 35 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that really big boobs on women are more aging over 40. It’s just gravity. I’m at a family function right now and my cousins with big boobs look older than same age people with small or even just average-sized chests. It changes your body shape and dictates how you dress to some degree. And yes, it all means more matronly.

Someone posted pics of Helen Mirren upthread to prove an older woman with big breasts can look youthful and hot. That’s how you know it’s true— Helen Mirren is the exception that proves the rule. She makes wrinkles and gray hair and a womanly older body look good.

There’s only one Helen Mirren.

So, how many attractive older women with large breasts do I have to post to make the point? Because I can think of several without trying.

And yes, these are women paid to be beautiful. They are professionally in the public eye. But c'mon, the critical stance that big breast on their own as an attribute will necessarily make you look matronly is, well, bunk. You know that. It's a lot of things added up, including how you style your body (as well as 600 other things).

If you look matronly, it's not because your breasts are big. It's because those breasts aren't supported, or are dwarfed by a protruding belly, or are draped in eight thousand dishwater-colored scarves, or whatever. But it's not just because of the breasts. Sorry if that pricks the happy bubble of revenge for some people, but that was a gross one to begin with anyway.

Okay but at night, I perform the dance of the eight thousand dishwater-colored scarves for my husband. And then we are both overcome by desire for each other to sit nearby and watch tv and our phones for an hour before we fall asleep.

You are gem, PP! Lol, thank you for the AM laugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clinging to trends from our younger years. I know jean jackets are very comfortable and I like the look, but I think they are dated looking on older women. But, why should anyone care what i think? If you love it, wear it, plenty of people don’t think like me.

And I’d bet I wear stuff other people think looks dated. But I wear what I love and don’t care what people think.

I never wore denim jackets in my youth but in my 40s, I love them. I think I benefit from adding some structure to my casual outfits, and a denim jacket is much sharper looking than most cardigans, and more versatile than a leather jacket.

I feel like denim jackets are FOR middle aged women.

Agree! I actually pretty much only see women in their 30’s and 40’s in jean jackets! I love mine and will wear it forever!

This thread started out kind of helpful and then just took a turn with people over thinking every style choice / body type. Now I am rooting for women to dress whatever age they want and become witches. Those are the personalities I’d probably find myself drawn to anyway!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt anyone here is really trying to look like they’re in their 20s. Do you know any 20 year olds? I know many and they don’t have hairstyles, they usually just wear their hair long or up.or alternatively they have half their hair buzzed and a sleeve tattoo. They run around in crop tops and tiny shorts whether they have the body for it or not. They look like kids still. One 26 year old I know wears super short overalls.

People here want to look polished and put together but that isn’t what most 20-somethings actually look like. When they do make the effort they look older. Lol. If you want to look young you need to adopt the energy, attitude and mindset.

All the sweatpants! The kids wear way more sweat pants/sweat shirt than any 40-something I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what it all comes down to is that the older you get, the more work (and money) it takes to make yourself look "good." Dying your hair, whitening your teeth. Dermatologic and plastic procedures. Finding a hairstyle that works with your thinning hair (which may also be straighter or curlier than it used to be depending on the texture of your gray hairs). Eating less in menopause to maintain your weight. Finding a good bra. Finding clothes that fit properly and emphasize the right parts and de-emphasize or cover the parts you don't like. Getting clothes professionally altered as needed. Finding shoes that look good but don't rub your bunions or irritate your neuroma or aggravate your arthritis.

Many women don't have the luxury of time and money for all this. And even for those who do, many don't care to spend it this way. What, after all, is the point of trying to look younger? Who am I trying to fool? and for what purpose?

I absolutely agree on the time/money aspect, even leaving fashion aside. I am 50 and now have to stretch and walk daily just to keep my joint limber. I mean that a whole of extra time not to feel stiff when I move out of bed. Maintaining baseline takes a lot of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Many women don't have the luxury of time and money for all this. And even for those who do, many don't care to spend it this way. What, after all, is the point of trying to look younger? Who am I trying to fool? and for what purpose?

Hmm, I don't think of it as trying to look younger, per se. I think of it as trying to look good for the age I am. However, I don't have cosmetic procedures. I do whiten my teeth, color my hair, and try to wear clothing and bras that fit well and flatter me. But I think I look like a decently put together 50 year old woman (my actual age), not a 35 year old.

I'm not trying to look younger, just a better version of where I am.