Redshirting my son for pre-k - May birthday

[Anonymous]

The fact that dcum has a whole trope that is about putting down people for believing that children should share an age in class makes me feel like I should buy some more popcorn.

Personally, I would be offended if someone insinuated that my child should be held back from his peers for a nonmedical reason and irritated if they thought he should be advanced to older peers.

[Anonymous]

People who redshirt their kids (those without a developmental delay) want to believe it is no big deal. They want to believe other kids don’t notice the physical differences between them when they are in middle school. They want to believe kids and parents aren’t talking about the fact that the kid was held back. However, kids and parents are talking about these redshirted kids. Also, the redshirted kids absolutely know they are older than most of the class and that their parents didn’t think they could succeed with kids their own age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who redshirt their kids (those without a developmental delay) want to believe it is no big deal. They want to believe other kids don’t notice the physical differences between them when they are in middle school. They want to believe kids and parents aren’t talking about the fact that the kid was held back. However, kids and parents are talking about these redshirted kids. Also, the redshirted kids absolutely know they are older than most of the class and that their parents didn’t think they could succeed with kids their own age.

100 percent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that dcum has a whole trope that is about putting down people for believing that children should share an age in class makes me feel like I should buy some more popcorn.

Personally, I would be offended if someone insinuated that my child should be held back from his peers for a nonmedical reason and irritated if they thought he should be advanced to older peers.

Well this may be a first for DCUM. You'd be irritated if they told you your child is advanced and should move ahead? If they came to you and said they know you applied for PreK for little Larlo, but after doing some evaluations during the admissions process, talking to current teachers, and looking at the makeup of the incoming classes, they think Larlo is actually more than ready, academically and socially, for kindergarten and would be bored and struggle to find peers in the preK cohort, and so they're admitting Larlo for kindergarten?

This exact thing happened to my brother with his fall birthday child this year (except, you know, he didn't name his kid Larlo ). His child is currently thriving in kindergarten and more than ready for first grade. It never occurred to them to be irritated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that dcum has a whole trope that is about putting down people for believing that children should share an age in class makes me feel like I should buy some more popcorn.

Personally, I would be offended if someone insinuated that my child should be held back from his peers for a nonmedical reason and irritated if they thought he should be advanced to older peers.

Well this may be a first for DCUM. You'd be irritated if they told you your child is advanced and should move ahead? If they came to you and said they know you applied for PreK for little Larlo, but after doing some evaluations during the admissions process, talking to current teachers, and looking at the makeup of the incoming classes, they think Larlo is actually more than ready, academically and socially, for kindergarten and would be bored and struggle to find peers in the preK cohort, and so they're admitting Larlo for kindergarten?

This exact thing happened to my brother with his fall birthday child this year (except, you know, he didn't name his kid Larlo ). His child is currently thriving in kindergarten and more than ready for first grade. It never occurred to them to be irritated.

Give me a break. Little Larlo is not being positioned to have a edge academically against the older students he will be placed with. Your analogy is a fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While yes, there are some raging anti-red shirters here, please consider me a rational anti-red shirter. I did not redshirt my early July son. Do I think school would have been easier for him if I had, like all the time? Yes. But he was born before the cut off and one must learn to bloom where they are planted. Despite people saying only crazy anti-red shirters will make fun of him, I can tell you, there are cracks about the "8th grader driving himself to school" and the 22-year-old senior all the time, from all walks of parent and kid. The kids know who the spring hold backs are and they don't like it. July or Aug can sort of get away with it. There's a May hold back in my kid's class at one of the "big 3," and he's shooting for top schools next year and already the talk is, well, when you give yourself an extra year to rise above everybody else, etc. Really. Do not kid yourself, spring hold backs are not looked upon nicely. On top of that, it seems like you're holding your kid back just because you didn't get the private school you want? That's the worst part of all of this.

I am always so surprised when parents brag about how they teach their children to be bullies. It’s one of the most remarkable consistent self-owns on DCUM from the anti-redshirt posters.

I can assure you that my much more well-raised children do not make fun of kids because of their birthdays, and neither to the rest of the well-raised teens. I get that isn’t your children but your deficits as a parent aren’t their fault.

I didn't say it was my kid, did I? It's not. As I said, which you would know had you read more carefully, is that I hear others--kids and parents alike, saying it. It's typically at sporting events, but still. I was simply letting the OP know that she would be kidding herself if she thinks her kid won't be talked about. He will. Not one single word in my post said that I or my kids bullied others. We don't. Frankly, you are much more of a judgy name-caller here. You're insecure about your choice, I get it. But don't put down others when it's not deserved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that dcum has a whole trope that is about putting down people for believing that children should share an age in class makes me feel like I should buy some more popcorn.

Personally, I would be offended if someone insinuated that my child should be held back from his peers for a nonmedical reason and irritated if they thought he should be advanced to older peers.

Well this may be a first for DCUM. You'd be irritated if they told you your child is advanced and should move ahead? If they came to you and said they know you applied for PreK for little Larlo, but after doing some evaluations during the admissions process, talking to current teachers, and looking at the makeup of the incoming classes, they think Larlo is actually more than ready, academically and socially, for kindergarten and would be bored and struggle to find peers in the preK cohort, and so they're admitting Larlo for kindergarten?

This exact thing happened to my brother with his fall birthday child this year (except, you know, he didn't name his kid Larlo ). His child is currently thriving in kindergarten and more than ready for first grade. It never occurred to them to be irritated.

Totally different and if anything Larlo did it on his own merit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While yes, there are some raging anti-red shirters here, please consider me a rational anti-red shirter. I did not redshirt my early July son. Do I think school would have been easier for him if I had, like all the time? Yes. But he was born before the cut off and one must learn to bloom where they are planted. Despite people saying only crazy anti-red shirters will make fun of him, I can tell you, there are cracks about the "8th grader driving himself to school" and the 22-year-old senior all the time, from all walks of parent and kid. The kids know who the spring hold backs are and they don't like it. July or Aug can sort of get away with it. There's a May hold back in my kid's class at one of the "big 3," and he's shooting for top schools next year and already the talk is, well, when you give yourself an extra year to rise above everybody else, etc. Really. Do not kid yourself, spring hold backs are not looked upon nicely. On top of that, it seems like you're holding your kid back just because you didn't get the private school you want? That's the worst part of all of this.

I am always so surprised when parents brag about how they teach their children to be bullies. It’s one of the most remarkable consistent self-owns on DCUM from the anti-redshirt posters.

I can assure you that my much more well-raised children do not make fun of kids because of their birthdays, and neither to the rest of the well-raised teens. I get that isn’t your children but your deficits as a parent aren’t their fault.

I didn't say it was my kid, did I? It's not. As I said, which you would know had you read more carefully, is that I hear others--kids and parents alike, saying it. It's typically at sporting events, but still. I was simply letting the OP know that she would be kidding herself if she thinks her kid won't be talked about. He will. Not one single word in my post said that I or my kids bullied others. We don't. Frankly, you are much more of a judgy name-caller here. You're insecure about your choice, I get it. But don't put down others when it's not deserved.

There you go judging again. But I do agree with you that the kid will be talked about and will carry that stigma. Nothing will be on his own merit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who redshirt their kids (those without a developmental delay) want to believe it is no big deal. They want to believe other kids don’t notice the physical differences between them when they are in middle school. They want to believe kids and parents aren’t talking about the fact that the kid was held back. However, kids and parents are talking about these redshirted kids. Also, the redshirted kids absolutely know they are older than most of the class and that their parents didn’t think they could succeed with kids their own age.

This, completely! I am a 49-year-old who was "red shirted" for kindergarten obviously a very very long time ago. I remember to this day how bad I felt about myself, at the time, and for many years, even into college. Don't get me wrong. I don't have issues with self-esteem to this day, but it was just a constant, nagging, uncomfortable feeling. And I was pretty irritated with my parents (mostly my mother because I know she was behind it) for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that dcum has a whole trope that is about putting down people for believing that children should share an age in class makes me feel like I should buy some more popcorn.

Personally, I would be offended if someone insinuated that my child should be held back from his peers for a nonmedical reason and irritated if they thought he should be advanced to older peers.

Well this may be a first for DCUM. You'd be irritated if they told you your child is advanced and should move ahead? If they came to you and said they know you applied for PreK for little Larlo, but after doing some evaluations during the admissions process, talking to current teachers, and looking at the makeup of the incoming classes, they think Larlo is actually more than ready, academically and socially, for kindergarten and would be bored and struggle to find peers in the preK cohort, and so they're admitting Larlo for kindergarten?

This exact thing happened to my brother with his fall birthday child this year (except, you know, he didn't name his kid Larlo ). His child is currently thriving in kindergarten and more than ready for first grade. It never occurred to them to be irritated.

Correct. Both as a veteran teacher and as the daughter of a parent who skipped grades for being advanced and ended up at an Ivy at age 16; I would no more skip my child ahead than I would hold him back. I would find the school that was able to meet his needs or supplement myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that dcum has a whole trope that is about putting down people for believing that children should share an age in class makes me feel like I should buy some more popcorn.

Personally, I would be offended if someone insinuated that my child should be held back from his peers for a nonmedical reason and irritated if they thought he should be advanced to older peers.

I’m sorry you lack resilience and are so easily upset. It must be hard to be you.

I think that’s really a lot of the trouble with DCUM anti-redshirters. They have no resiliency and can’t fathom how to teach it to their kids. This is why encounters with a kid who is 366 days older than their little snowflakes instead of 365 days send them into huge tizzies. And no, I didn’t redshirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While yes, there are some raging anti-red shirters here, please consider me a rational anti-red shirter. I did not redshirt my early July son. Do I think school would have been easier for him if I had, like all the time? Yes. But he was born before the cut off and one must learn to bloom where they are planted. Despite people saying only crazy anti-red shirters will make fun of him, I can tell you, there are cracks about the "8th grader driving himself to school" and the 22-year-old senior all the time, from all walks of parent and kid. The kids know who the spring hold backs are and they don't like it. July or Aug can sort of get away with it. There's a May hold back in my kid's class at one of the "big 3," and he's shooting for top schools next year and already the talk is, well, when you give yourself an extra year to rise above everybody else, etc. Really. Do not kid yourself, spring hold backs are not looked upon nicely. On top of that, it seems like you're holding your kid back just because you didn't get the private school you want? That's the worst part of all of this.

I am always so surprised when parents brag about how they teach their children to be bullies. It’s one of the most remarkable consistent self-owns on DCUM from the anti-redshirt posters.

I can assure you that my much more well-raised children do not make fun of kids because of their birthdays, and neither to the rest of the well-raised teens. I get that isn’t your children but your deficits as a parent aren’t their fault.

I didn't say it was my kid, did I? It's not. As I said, which you would know had you read more carefully, is that I hear others--kids and parents alike, saying it. It's typically at sporting events, but still. I was simply letting the OP know that she would be kidding herself if she thinks her kid won't be talked about. He will. Not one single word in my post said that I or my kids bullied others. We don't. Frankly, you are much more of a judgy name-caller here. You're insecure about your choice, I get it. But don't put down others when it's not deserved.

There you go judging again. But I do agree with you that the kid will be talked about and will carry that stigma. Nothing will be on his own merit.

Nothing a child ever does will be on their own merit simply because they may be a few months older than their peers? Really?

My kid technically just made the cut off but we didn’t think he was ready to go to kindergarten yet at age 4 so we waited another year and so far it’s proven to be the right decision. He’s only a few months older than most of his classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that dcum has a whole trope that is about putting down people for believing that children should share an age in class makes me feel like I should buy some more popcorn.

Personally, I would be offended if someone insinuated that my child should be held back from his peers for a nonmedical reason and irritated if they thought he should be advanced to older peers.

Well this may be a first for DCUM. You'd be irritated if they told you your child is advanced and should move ahead? If they came to you and said they know you applied for PreK for little Larlo, but after doing some evaluations during the admissions process, talking to current teachers, and looking at the makeup of the incoming classes, they think Larlo is actually more than ready, academically and socially, for kindergarten and would be bored and struggle to find peers in the preK cohort, and so they're admitting Larlo for kindergarten?

This exact thing happened to my brother with his fall birthday child this year (except, you know, he didn't name his kid Larlo ). His child is currently thriving in kindergarten and more than ready for first grade. It never occurred to them to be irritated.

Correct. Both as a veteran teacher and as the daughter of a parent who skipped grades for being advanced and ended up at an Ivy at age 16; I would no more skip my child ahead than I would hold him back. I would find the school that was able to meet his needs or supplement myself.

Exactly, neither redshirting or skipping a grade is really justified. Maybe I’m some extreme circumstances but those would be very, very few.

[Anonymous]

19 pages in 24 hours for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who redshirt their kids (those without a developmental delay) want to believe it is no big deal. They want to believe other kids don’t notice the physical differences between them when they are in middle school. They want to believe kids and parents aren’t talking about the fact that the kid was held back. However, kids and parents are talking about these redshirted kids. Also, the redshirted kids absolutely know they are older than most of the class and that their parents didn’t think they could succeed with kids their own age.

This, completely! I am a 49-year-old who was "red shirted" for kindergarten obviously a very very long time ago. I remember to this day how bad I felt about myself, at the time, and for many years, even into college. Don't get me wrong. I don't have issues with self-esteem to this day, but it was just a constant, nagging, uncomfortable feeling. And I was pretty irritated with my parents (mostly my mother because I know she was behind it) for a long time.

Wow. Maybes consider therapy? I’m exactly your age and was pushed ahead (so always the youngest by far) largely for my parents’ egos and it was a bit of a disaster but I sure as heck am not perseverating on that decision like you are. Yikes.