What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is incel-speak for “how dare women have standards.”

It isn’t really a measurable standards. I have a few college credits. I have three relatives, similar age to me, all with Ivy degrees. I out earn all of them combined and can speak more to history, current news/topics than all of them and formulate my own opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is incel-speak for “how dare women have standards.”

It isn’t really a measurable standards. I have a few college credits. I have three relatives, similar age to me, all with Ivy degrees. I out earn all of them combined and can speak more to history, current news/topics than all of them and formulate my own opinion.

The correlation between education and earning potential is not 100%, as your example shows, but it is very high. The title of this thread is a bit of an exaggeration, because certainly not all women are "obsessed" with the education level of their partner. But generally speaking, since the dawn of time women have been attracted to men who are good providers (just like men are attracted to women who are hot), and in our modern society, education is a pretty good marker of success.

By the way, you sound arrogant, judgmental, and not very classy toward your own family. I hope for your sake that you are super hot, because otherwise you would not get asked on many dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is incel-speak for “how dare women have standards.”

It isn’t really a measurable standards. I have a few college credits. I have three relatives, similar age to me, all with Ivy degrees. I out earn all of them combined and can speak more to history, current news/topics than all of them and formulate my own opinion.

Statistically speaking you’re what is called “an outlier”. I assume that’s not one of the few credits you took?

[Anonymous]

Education just means you have a similar set of cultural referents. It doesn’t make you more intelligent or a better critical thinker. Highly educated people can be very narrow minded

If anything though I’d say education is a better indicator of the ability to conform and climb a social ladder than pure intelligence - which actually are valuable skills for building a middle class life as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

Uh, they want someone they can talk to, discuss politics and novels. Visit museums or European capitals—not just someone who will pay the credit card bill. Your perspective on women seems quite dated and sexist.

This is pretty rich, considering the fact that men have been known to marry restaurant hostesses based upon their breast size or tight butts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

Education is a proxy for intelligence for many people it seems. Maybe they just want to spice up their gene pool?

Education and gene pool don’t travel together. The least educated immigrant from a poor family might give birth to the next Einstein, if she can get him into school. Her genes are fine.

Intelligence is largely inherited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Education is one of the new status symbols. Newer generations are less materialistic but not less status-seeking.

It’s not a symbol. Higher education actually DOES carry higher status.

Ugh. What do you mean, it’s not a symbol? Status is a symbol, it’s not reflecting an objective, tangible thing that you can grasp. It’s something that humans came up with, and therefore is symbolic. We choose things like money, beauty, education as symbols of status, but we could easily have chosen other things. My point is, you say that higher education carries higher status, as if that is some fact of nature. It doesn’t carry higher status any more than any other thing.

Uhm it actually does. A harvard or Stanford educated person is considered an elite in this country.

this is not true. i’m embarrassed for you. yikes.

A man who went to harvard who makes 500k a year BEFORE taxes is not an elite. LOL

[Anonymous]

Maybe women are well educated themselves and (gasp) want to be with an equally academic or achievement oriented partner. How dare they!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Well-educated" = financially well off. The same as when women say they want a man who is "ambitious".

NP here. I think this is a common misnomer. a.) "well educated" does not equate rich, at all. I know guys who graduated from HYPSM, and their wives handle everything. I know women who graduated from HYPSM, and they can multi task like their lives depend on it. Women are generally better at multitasking.

b.) I think women should educate themselves and look out for themselves. Women who "need" this or that - whether it be an "educated" man (this week, next week it will be something else - the "white kitchen syndrome") and lacking in reasoning skills and general life skills - and simply do not know how to be happy. Apparently, this kind of woman thinks such a man "validates" them. On top of that, such women have nothing to bring to the table except their insecurities and general ineptitude.

c.) One example - I was out for dinner recently with some HYPSM couples, and a non HYPSM wife chimed in - "doesn't so and so (HYPSM man) have patents (plural), and sell companies and have stocks/bonds and isn't he a millionaire?" We all broke out laughing because we know the couple she was referring to, and the wife is the one with the degrees (and the high grades - the husband almost flunked out, more than once!). There are no patents (none), no stocks and/or bonds (zilch), or payouts (zero). In fact, the wife and wife's family is the one with money and successful businesses. If they divorced, the man she was referring to (apparently the woman asking sees him as some sort of means to an end, if not "perfect" LOL) would have nothing, quite literally. But, shallow people would not see this for what it really is, because they don't know better than to only think it is the man who brought something to the table. It doesn't occur to shallow women that another woman has something to offer (looks and/or money and/or brains/education and/or special background/s and/or interesting life/hobbies/intellectual interests- sometimes all of the above). Women sometimes criticize/gossip to their own detriment.

The funny part is, it seems (the woman who asked) thinks (the guy she asked about) is her "plan B" (or "C", or "D", depending how many times she has married by now - there are more women like that, sadly so). There are women who literally see nothing wrong with spending an inordinate number of nights hanging out in high end hotel bars for this reason. You don't believe it, until you see it. It is sad that some women reduce themselves to what they "think" a man is worth. It is more sad when they are dead wrong, and end up unhappy, yet again. The old adage that "you can't buy happiness" rings true.

d.) What it comes down to, is that some women grew up poor, ashamed of who they are, and are deathly afraid of being poor - and maybe people finding out the truth. So, sadly they cling onto fables of finding the rich guy - bonus points if that woman thinks he is "perfect" (which they do think, because they don't have the sense to know better). In fact, he doesn't really exist.

There is a whole psychology behind this. It boils down to well, let's just say, I would tell my sons to run - fast and very far away from a woman like this.

So, is this non HYPSM woman married but looking to trade up? Is beauty her currency?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Education is one of the new status symbols. Newer generations are less materialistic but not less status-seeking.

It’s not a symbol. Higher education actually DOES carry higher status.

Ugh. What do you mean, it’s not a symbol? Status is a symbol, it’s not reflecting an objective, tangible thing that you can grasp. It’s something that humans came up with, and therefore is symbolic. We choose things like money, beauty, education as symbols of status, but we could easily have chosen other things. My point is, you say that higher education carries higher status, as if that is some fact of nature. It doesn’t carry higher status any more than any other thing.

NP

Then what is?
Uhm it actually does. A harvard or Stanford educated person is considered an elite in this country.

this is not true. i’m embarrassed for you. yikes.

A man who went to harvard who makes 500k a year BEFORE taxes is not an elite. LOL

[Anonymous]

Which currencies are acceptable OP? Looks, money, family's status, kindness, emotional maturity, academic achievement, athletic prowess, religion, race?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which currencies are acceptable OP? Looks, money, family's status, kindness, emotional maturity, academic achievement, athletic prowess, religion, race?

We all know money is the one that matters. Even in posts where people congratulate themselves for marrying someone without money, there is always a caveat about either potential to earn or that they now are rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Education just means you have a similar set of cultural referents. It doesn’t make you more intelligent or a better critical thinker. Highly educated people can be very narrow minded

If anything though I’d say education is a better indicator of the ability to conform and climb a social ladder than pure intelligence - which actually are valuable skills for building a middle class life as well

This is ridiculous. Education definitely means you have better critical thinking skills. You have to use them. Not all people use the skills they learn.

You must be someone that hasn't spent much time in rural America if you think that people in NYC with college degrees who don't leave are the most narrow-minded. They may be in some ways because they never leave that island and surround themselves with like people, but they are definitely better critical thinkers than your typical rural American native who didn't finish high school but makes good money trucking. There are reasons why those jobs pay better and are all about thinking. They require critical thinking skills.

[Anonymous]

Wow, the anti-intellectual tendency in the US really shows through this thread. I def want a well-educated man as a life partner (and DH is one). Not because of money (although having someone who can earn his keep is essential), but because I want someone I can talk to !!!

Someone who has the same interests and an intellectual depth that is hard to achieve on your own “because you like reading history books on your spare time”. If you think that is the same it means you have no understanding of what higher education can really provide you.

But maybe it also reflects the lack of emphasis on humanities in US higher education (I am French and only did a master her)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that being well-educated is probably shorthand for intelligence. I'll admit that I'm a snob when it comes to having dated smart men, and marrying one. Some people want attractive women or handsome men. I didn't care how men looked but if they had little between the ears, I was not interested.

It's a marker for lifestyle, habits, customs, culture, ways to spend your time.

Intelligence exists across many SES strata but cultures differ, and culture matters.

+1. Yup. Education is a good proxy for socioeconomic status. Americans like to pretend that the country is a classless meritocracy, but social class matters.