What is women’s obsession with “well-educated” men?

[Anonymous]

This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

BC people are not dating to date, they are dating to find a life partner. Usually that means someone you can have same-level conversations with, who will understand your references, share your priorities, and want the same things for your children.

[Anonymous]

It means a well know college or university(Harvard, Yale, Stanford, etc). Why because it will impress her friends and it is a way to say I want a wealthy man without saying it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

Personally I would not date someone who had made a stupid life choice like a vanity degree they could not afford as an adult.

[Anonymous]

This is incel-speak for “how dare women have standards.”

[Anonymous]

Men are obsessed with sex appeal

[Anonymous]

I do not understand that woman. She sounds high maintenance.

My DH has a college degree, but it's from a no name one. He earns six figures; has done so for decades.

A blue collar worker is fine, but I do want intelligence. Having stated that, I do realize that intelligence doesn't necessarily equate to a college degree.

[Anonymous]

Most of the women on this forum are well educated and they are seeking someone like them.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why you are confused by this. I guess Ivy Tower and all… My sister and I are the only ones that went to college out of my cousins and aunts and uncles on one side. There is big difference between them and me. Yes, they own successful auto body shops or some do more menial labor because they weren’t as lucky, but it’s not about money. They don’t like to travel to Europe or go to museums. They prefer different activities. The restaurants they frequent are different. They don’t like to read like I do. I love them. But it’s really obtuse to not understand why some one educated would like a peer that values education.

[Anonymous]

"Well-educated" = financially well off. The same as when women say they want a man who is "ambitious".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Well-educated" = financially well off. The same as when women say they want a man who is "ambitious".

Not necessarily; you can be well educated without having made your money yet. Plenty of people marry potential, it’s more important that the guy have a plan and the ability to follow it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you are confused by this. I guess Ivy Tower and all… My sister and I are the only ones that went to college out of my cousins and aunts and uncles on one side. There is big difference between them and me. Yes, they own successful auto body shops or some do more menial labor because they weren’t as lucky, but it’s not about money. They don’t like to travel to Europe or go to museums. They prefer different activities. The restaurants they frequent are different. They don’t like to read like I do. I love them. But it’s really obtuse to not understand why some one educated would like a peer that values education.

This.
It's not just about the money -- and, OP, there's no way you have an Ivy degree if you don't get that. It's about belonging to the same, or, at least, similar, social circles; having simular lifestyles and shared views.

[Anonymous]

Education is one of the new status symbols. Newer generations are less materialistic but not less status-seeking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you are confused by this. I guess Ivy Tower and all… My sister and I are the only ones that went to college out of my cousins and aunts and uncles on one side. There is big difference between them and me. Yes, they own successful auto body shops or some do more menial labor because they weren’t as lucky, but it’s not about money. They don’t like to travel to Europe or go to museums. They prefer different activities. The restaurants they frequent are different. They don’t like to read like I do. I love them. But it’s really obtuse to not understand why some one educated would like a peer that values education.

It’s “Ivory tower,” not “Ivy tower.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Education is one of the new status symbols. Newer generations are less materialistic but not less status-seeking.

It’s not a symbol. Higher education actually DOES carry higher status.