I had a 5 year affair with a gorgeous woman who’s 17 years younger (and I’m not rich) - AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

DP.. I assumed those were written by bitter women.

They obviously are.

OP describes his affair partner as Shakira with exotic features. Was that written by a woman?

A man describes his affair partner as being impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine, while his wife expects and receives much more. Was that written by a woman?

A man describes guys he knows that buy a cheap bottle of wine for their affair partner; they call the affair partner a three dollar f- and chuck. Was that written by a woman?

If we are to believe that those statements were written by one or more women, then we would have to concede that the affair stories posted in this thread are not true, and that OP and the other posters are not in fact men who are getting it on with gullible women. I do hope you are correct and that is the case. Thank you for proving such hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster
Can’t believe all the vitriol here! Disgusting. Much more disgusting than the OP’s story tbh
Good for you OP! At least you are better than so many sad American men who are too scared of society and their wives taking them to the cleaners to even think about getting some.
I am a female fwiw

You're a mistress, right? Go away.

+1. The men here are talking about how they use women and make fun of them. They are using terms like three dollar f- and chuck. You can pick that as your battle to defend, but not sure why you’d want to. Anyway, OP seems to be available for you if you like that kind of thing since his hot, 27 year younger affair partner seems to have dumped him months ago and he’s still pining for attention.

Only a woman that bangs married guys like that or another dirtball would take his side.

I am divorced fwiw. What else can you think of to insult me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster
Can’t believe all the vitriol here! Disgusting. Much more disgusting than the OP’s story tbh
Good for you OP! At least you are better than so many sad American men who are too scared of society and their wives taking them to the cleaners to even think about getting some.
I am a female fwiw

You're a mistress, right? Go away.

+1. The men here are talking about how they use women and make fun of them. They are using terms like three dollar f- and chuck. You can pick that as your battle to defend, but not sure why you’d want to. Anyway, OP seems to be available for you if you like that kind of thing since his hot, 27 year younger affair partner seems to have dumped him months ago and he’s still pining for attention.

Only a woman that bangs married guys like that or another dirtball would take his side.

I am divorced fwiw. What else can you think of to insult me?

Oh and no I am not dating a married man lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had much the same deal as OP. Tall, beautiful woman 15 years younger than me. She had two graduate degrees, and a good job in the city. In 5 years I took her out for drinks twice, otherwise we just met up at her place downtown, I would give her lots of Os, then I would return to work. I never slept over.

Why did it end? I was getting divorced anyway, and wanted more from the relationship and she had no problem attracting older no-strings dudes to give her Os. My then wife had stopped bedroom fun 2-3 years before I met what I would call the Only Woman (OW). She was a very good woman.

You are a loser. Not even your AP wanted you.

+1 You were just used and you don't even acknowledge it. An interchangeable penis or tongue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shared pathology of the secret sex relationship:

The married man can’t hack it in the real world. Feels underappreciated by his job and his insufficiently grateful wife and kids. Angry, but doesn’t know how to process it, and too chicken to show it. Pursues affair to feel appreciated and excited about life again. The shared fantasy gives him an escape from his suffocating mundane existence. He deserves better! But the OW better adhere to the script or she’s going to get a smack down. No expensive anything; no shared life together and no future. “Relationship” totally on the man’s terms and on the man’s schedule. “I’m the man here, dammit.” Cannot deal with the reasonable thoughts, feelings and needs of the OW (or of his own wife for that matter).

The OW believes the man loves her, or at least likes her and doesn’t despise her. He sends her flirty texts during the day. It’s so special; it’s their little secret. He must care about her if he spends so much time texting and anticipating their next interlude. She thinks maybe this will actually go somewhere. He complains about his wife. He says she won’t even have sex with him! Seems to OW there is hope there. She doesn’t actually like the cheap meals or being kept in the shadows. But he keeps coming back to her and she wants to trust him. The fantasy that he actually gives a sh- about her is less painful than facing the reality that he has NO intention of ever doing right by her and that he’s just using her to regulate his own unsettling emotions and to feel better about his own disappointing existence.

TLDR; wife stops having sex, husband finds it elsewhere

How about wife stops having sex, husband divorces her. Not sure why this point is never addressed except to say that it's not convenient for them. And no, you're not doing to maintain your marriage, you're cheating for yourself. This narrative from cheaters is whacked. Honestly, cheating just comes back to centeredness and nothing more than that.

The way the OP talks about his ex AP is clearly as an object that he doesn't respect much (really calling her a cheap date and not needing to invest in her etc.). This is not a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

DP.. I assumed those were written by bitter women.

They obviously are.

OP describes his affair partner as Shakira with exotic features. Was that written by a woman?

A man describes his affair partner as being impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine, while his wife expects and receives much more. Was that written by a woman?

A man describes guys he knows that buy a cheap bottle of wine for their affair partner; they call the affair partner a three dollar f- and chuck. Was that written by a woman?

If we are to believe that those statements were written by one or more women, then we would have to concede that the affair stories posted in this thread are not true, and that OP and the other posters are not in fact men who are getting it on with gullible women. I do hope you are correct and that is the case. Thank you for proving such hope.

These multi-paragraph treatises you insist on posting make you look demented. Look. The posters eagerly saying that the office dbags bragging by the Deer Park about cheap wine and screwing are women. Not men. You can keep squawking but that’s not going to bend actual reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Op you are delusional. A woman willing to date a married man is NO prize.

Quite the opposite!

I disagree, I met my wife when I was 30 and she was 23. She pursued me heavily and we began an affair. Best thing that ever happened to me. I went from a very meh marriage to living my best life, going on 10 years now. She's wonderful

You'll lose her the same way you got her.

Lol, okay! I'm not worried

NP. What do you think about a woman that pursues a married man? Does it make you question her value system? If not, it must mean your values are aligned and that says a good deal about both of you. The key is to make sure that you know that your partner's values are different than yours before you get married. In your case, it might have been nice if your first wife knew what you are like/believe before you all got married. You may be with the right partner if neither of you are bothered by cheating for example but it's a problem for many. I could see honesty being important to many but obviously it's not that important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Op you are delusional. A woman willing to date a married man is NO prize.

Quite the opposite!

I disagree, I met my wife when I was 30 and she was 23. She pursued me heavily and we began an affair. Best thing that ever happened to me. I went from a very meh marriage to living my best life, going on 10 years now. She's wonderful

You'll lose her the same way you got her.

Lol, okay! I'm not worried

I know you're not. You'll just move on to a new sex partner. That's really all that matters, clearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

DP.. I assumed those were written by bitter women.

They obviously are.

OP describes his affair partner as Shakira with exotic features. Was that written by a woman?

A man describes his affair partner as being impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine, while his wife expects and receives much more. Was that written by a woman?

A man describes guys he knows that buy a cheap bottle of wine for their affair partner; they call the affair partner a three dollar f- and chuck. Was that written by a woman?

If we are to believe that those statements were written by one or more women, then we would have to concede that the affair stories posted in this thread are not true, and that OP and the other posters are not in fact men who are getting it on with gullible women. I do hope you are correct and that is the case. Thank you for proving such hope.

Men may say that their AP are "petite" and "curvy", but they are not the ones describing these women as "midgets" and "fat". That would be women.

Women are the biggest judges of other women.

I don't condone affairs, at all. But, the some of you women on here are super viscious to OP's AP, whom you don't even know. I can only assume it's because these female posters are bitter. I guess if I was bitter about some other woman, I'd be judgie on here, too, calling the woman names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Op you are delusional. A woman willing to date a married man is NO prize.

Quite the opposite!

I disagree, I met my wife when I was 30 and she was 23. She pursued me heavily and we began an affair. Best thing that ever happened to me. I went from a very meh marriage to living my best life, going on 10 years now. She's wonderful

You'll lose her the same way you got her.

Lol, okay! I'm not worried

I know you're not. You'll just move on to a new sex partner. That's really all that matters, clearly.

Hey if that makes you feel better! The sex is amazing, we're both attractive for our ages (40 and 32) and we both make lots of money. Life is good! Ex-wife wallowing in misery currently but I guess she shouldn't have verbally abused me day in and out and maybe I wouldn't have indulged in the affair. So glad I did though

[Anonymous]

Original OP Here: This chat is off the rails. There are no a half dozen or more men posting as OP. Thanks for your time and attention, I’m outta here (have to work on a strategy to get petite curvy woman back into bed).....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original OP Here: This chat is off the rails. There are no a half dozen or more men posting as OP. Thanks for your time and attention, I’m outta here (have to work on a strategy to get petite curvy woman back into bed).....

She doesn’t want you dude!! She ghosted you over a year and a half ago when the nice hotels and meals ran dry. You are seriously demented. You need to accept that it’s over!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ You forgot the part where other woman dumps the married guy. Then married guy posts on DCUM reminiscing about how he misses the affair partner, whom he had treated like crap. Yes, this applies to the “two drinks in five years” guy as well. It is strange to brag about how much you didn’t have to spend (in meals, gifts, time or whatever) to get sex.

Men: pay attention here. No matter what a man writes, according to women, he's always WRONG.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shared pathology of the secret sex relationship:

The married man can’t hack it in the real world. Feels underappreciated by his job and his insufficiently grateful wife and kids. Angry, but doesn’t know how to process it, and too chicken to show it. Pursues affair to feel appreciated and excited about life again. The shared fantasy gives him an escape from his suffocating mundane existence. He deserves better! But the OW better adhere to the script or she’s going to get a smack down. No expensive anything; no shared life together and no future. “Relationship” totally on the man’s terms and on the man’s schedule. “I’m the man here, dammit.” Cannot deal with the reasonable thoughts, feelings and needs of the OW (or of his own wife for that matter).

The OW believes the man loves her, or at least likes her and doesn’t despise her. He sends her flirty texts during the day. It’s so special; it’s their little secret. He must care about her if he spends so much time texting and anticipating their next interlude. She thinks maybe this will actually go somewhere. He complains about his wife. He says she won’t even have sex with him! Seems to OW there is hope there. She doesn’t actually like the cheap meals or being kept in the shadows. But he keeps coming back to her and she wants to trust him. The fantasy that he actually gives a sh- about her is less painful than facing the reality that he has NO intention of ever doing right by her and that he’s just using her to regulate his own unsettling emotions and to feel better about his own disappointing existence.

TLDR; wife stops having sex, husband finds it elsewhere

How about wife stops having sex, husband divorces her. Not sure why this point is never addressed except to say that it's not convenient for them. And no, you're not doing to maintain your marriage, you're cheating for yourself. This narrative from cheaters is whacked. Honestly, cheating just comes back to centeredness and nothing more than that.

The way the OP talks about his ex AP is clearly as an object that he doesn't respect much (really calling her a cheap date and not needing to invest in her etc.). This is not a good thing.

But why would a husband divorce a perfectly fine platonic room mate against her wishes? Much better (for both of them) if he outsources the sex and saves their marriage. If SHE wanted a divorce she would already have divorced. So he’s doing her a big favor to keep her as a sexless room mate. Know what’s whacked? Thinking you can not have sex, stay married, and he won’t cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

DP.. I assumed those were written by bitter women.

They obviously are.

OP describes his affair partner as Shakira with exotic features. Was that written by a woman?

A man describes his affair partner as being impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine, while his wife expects and receives much more. Was that written by a woman?

A man describes guys he knows that buy a cheap bottle of wine for their affair partner; they call the affair partner a three dollar f- and chuck. Was that written by a woman?

If we are to believe that those statements were written by one or more women, then we would have to concede that the affair stories posted in this thread are not true, and that OP and the other posters are not in fact men who are getting it on with gullible women. I do hope you are correct and that is the case. Thank you for proving such hope.

Men may say that their AP are "petite" and "curvy", but they are not the ones describing these women as "midgets" and "fat". That would be women.

Women are the biggest judges of other women.

I don't condone affairs, at all. But, the some of you women on here are super viscious to OP's AP, whom you don't even know. I can only assume it's because these female posters are bitter. I guess if I was bitter about some other woman, I'd be judgie on here, too, calling the woman names.

She’s knowing banged a married man. She’s fair game!