I had a 5 year affair with a gorgeous woman who’s 17 years younger (and I’m not rich) - AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Op you are delusional. A woman willing to date a married man is NO prize.

Quite the opposite!

I disagree, I met my wife when I was 30 and she was 23. She pursued me heavily and we began an affair. Best thing that ever happened to me. I went from a very meh marriage to living my best life, going on 10 years now. She's wonderful

You'll lose her the same way you got her.

Lol, okay! I'm not worried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL Op you are delusional. A woman willing to date a married man is NO prize.

Quite the opposite!

I disagree, I met my wife when I was 30 and she was 23. She pursued me heavily and we began an affair. Best thing that ever happened to me. I went from a very meh marriage to living my best life, going on 10 years now. She's wonderful

You'll lose her the same way you got her.

Lol, okay! I'm not worried

Two losers found each other. Beautiful love story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op Here: We were 50 and 33 when we started. She has no interest in ever getting married (to anyone). My HHI was about $300k at the time we met. Many men find her attractive (5’ tall but very shapely) but yes, it is somewhat subjective. It started out emotional and about a year later transitioned to physical.

Oh..so she is fat. There you go..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op Here: We were 50 and 33 when we started. She has no interest in ever getting married (to anyone). My HHI was about $300k at the time we met. Many men find her attractive (5’ tall but very shapely) but yes, it is somewhat subjective. It started out emotional and about a year later transitioned to physical.

Oh..so she is fat. There you go..

OP admits he was emotionally attached to her and she still dumped him! If you are disparaging the OW based on her apparent size/appearance, OP couldn’t even hold on to someone who by your view is substandard. OP even described her as “gorgeous” in the title of this thread!!

Ladies take note: Any attempts to cut you down can be refuted by the very words and actions of the abusers who try to cut you down. Push back, and they will slink away. You won’t be any fun (i.e., ripe for abuse) anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

DP.. I assumed those were written by bitter women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

DP.. I assumed those were written by bitter women.

Which post (based on date/time stamp) would lead you to conclude that. Those posts specifically describe the actions and views of men toward female affair partners. Unless you are suggesting that “bitter women” are posing as men here? On what basis could you reasonably conclude that is the case?

[Anonymous]

I had much the same deal as OP. Tall, beautiful woman 15 years younger than me. She had two graduate degrees, and a good job in the city. In 5 years I took her out for drinks twice, otherwise we just met up at her place downtown, I would give her lots of Os, then I would return to work. I never slept over.

Why did it end? I was getting divorced anyway, and wanted more from the relationship and she had no problem attracting older no-strings dudes to give her Os. My then wife had stopped bedroom fun 2-3 years before I met what I would call the Only Woman (OW). She was a very good woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had much the same deal as OP. Tall, beautiful woman 15 years younger than me. She had two graduate degrees, and a good job in the city. In 5 years I took her out for drinks twice, otherwise we just met up at her place downtown, I would give her lots of Os, then I would return to work. I never slept over.

Why did it end? I was getting divorced anyway, and wanted more from the relationship and she had no problem attracting older no-strings dudes to give her Os. My then wife had stopped bedroom fun 2-3 years before I met what I would call the Only Woman (OW). She was a very good woman.

Such a good woman to bang a married man. Great morals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shared pathology of the secret sex relationship:

The married man can’t hack it in the real world. Feels underappreciated by his job and his insufficiently grateful wife and kids. Angry, but doesn’t know how to process it, and too chicken to show it. Pursues affair to feel appreciated and excited about life again. The shared fantasy gives him an escape from his suffocating mundane existence. He deserves better! But the OW better adhere to the script or she’s going to get a smack down. No expensive anything; no shared life together and no future. “Relationship” totally on the man’s terms and on the man’s schedule. “I’m the man here, dammit.” Cannot deal with the reasonable thoughts, feelings and needs of the OW (or of his own wife for that matter).

The OW believes the man loves her, or at least likes her and doesn’t despise her. He sends her flirty texts during the day. It’s so special; it’s their little secret. He must care about her if he spends so much time texting and anticipating their next interlude. She thinks maybe this will actually go somewhere. He complains about his wife. He says she won’t even have sex with him! Seems to OW there is hope there. She doesn’t actually like the cheap meals or being kept in the shadows. But he keeps coming back to her and she wants to trust him. The fantasy that he actually gives a sh- about her is less painful than facing the reality that he has NO intention of ever doing right by her and that he’s just using her to regulate his own unsettling emotions and to feel better about his own disappointing existence.

TLDR; wife stops having sex, husband finds it elsewhere

[Anonymous]

^^ You forgot the part where other woman dumps the married guy. Then married guy posts on DCUM reminiscing about how he misses the affair partner, whom he had treated like crap. Yes, this applies to the “two drinks in five years” guy as well. It is strange to brag about how much you didn’t have to spend (in meals, gifts, time or whatever) to get sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ You forgot the part where other woman dumps the married guy. Then married guy posts on DCUM reminiscing about how he misses the affair partner, whom he had treated like crap. Yes, this applies to the “two drinks in five years” guy as well. It is strange to brag about how much you didn’t have to spend (in meals, gifts, time or whatever) to get sex.

It’s misogynistic and makes them feel like studs. Look how women are so desperate to screw/be with them? Ego boost. Narcissistic pride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ You forgot the part where other woman dumps the married guy. Then married guy posts on DCUM reminiscing about how he misses the affair partner, whom he had treated like crap. Yes, this applies to the “two drinks in five years” guy as well. It is strange to brag about how much you didn’t have to spend (in meals, gifts, time or whatever) to get sex.

It’s misogynistic and makes them feel like studs. Look how women are so desperate to screw/be with them? Ego boost. Narcissistic pride.

“Madonna-Whore complex”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ You forgot the part where other woman dumps the married guy. Then married guy posts on DCUM reminiscing about how he misses the affair partner, whom he had treated like crap. Yes, this applies to the “two drinks in five years” guy as well. It is strange to brag about how much you didn’t have to spend (in meals, gifts, time or whatever) to get sex.

It’s misogynistic and makes them feel like studs. Look how women are so desperate to screw/be with them? Ego boost. Narcissistic pride.

“Madonna-Whore complex”.

Compartmentalization at its best (worst.) The aforementioned complex can be described as the dominant pattern of thought that divides women's humanity into two neat and tidy categories that don't overlap: Madonnas and whores. The pure and the tainted. The nurturing and the depraved. The asexual and the sexual. The loved and respected versus the desired.

"Could you respect someone you slept with on the first date?" If you thought the question was weird, just know that it's there for a reason. There are men who answer no, and yet would never apply the same standard to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP thank you for agreeing with my post.

- The person who posted about the pathology of secret affairs.

Well, you tried it.

I’m not cheated on, but I don’t know how common it is for the cheater cheater pumpkin eater to hate/scorn the other woman. I mean maybe but it comes across as wishful thinking and not a broadly acknowledged truism.

The cheating men in this thread referred to the other women as midget (short in stature), Shakira (ethnic), impressed by cheap ethnic eateries and cheap wine (gullible/low class), and three dollar f- and chuck (self explanatory). Not wishful thinking; this is what the cheating men themselves wrote in this thread.

DP.. I assumed those were written by bitter women.

They obviously are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had much the same deal as OP. Tall, beautiful woman 15 years younger than me. She had two graduate degrees, and a good job in the city. In 5 years I took her out for drinks twice, otherwise we just met up at her place downtown, I would give her lots of Os, then I would return to work. I never slept over.

Why did it end? I was getting divorced anyway, and wanted more from the relationship and she had no problem attracting older no-strings dudes to give her Os. My then wife had stopped bedroom fun 2-3 years before I met what I would call the Only Woman (OW). She was a very good woman.

You are a loser. Not even your AP wanted you.