No kids weddings rant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you still haven’t answered how you’re going to feel about wrangling 3 kids all weekend at a wedding while your husband and his parents are occupied with the wedding?

After reason the thread, this really strikes me as merely another “I hate my SIL” threads. You’re upset that she has the spotlight, and you and your kids don’t.

OP- I actually hate the spotlight. Hate it so much I didn’t have a wedding and eloped - inconveniencing exactly zero people. And I’ve brought my kids to weddings before that were kid-invited. They were adorable, had so much fun, made great memories, and wedding guests thought they were cute. And I am close to my SIL and DH is very close. As I said, DH thinks she made the decision to impress her friends and will regret it later.

You sound not only judgmental but embittered. I feel for your SIL. Grow up, honey.

+1

Why on earth would she regret it? Because you will make her remember that she pissed your off for the rest of your life? Just spare her the annoyance and tell her how you feel so she can ignore you forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you still haven’t answered how you’re going to feel about wrangling 3 kids all weekend at a wedding while your husband and his parents are occupied with the wedding?

After reason the thread, this really strikes me as merely another “I hate my SIL” threads. You’re upset that she has the spotlight, and you and your kids don’t.

OP- I actually hate the spotlight. Hate it so much I didn’t have a wedding and eloped - inconveniencing exactly zero people. And I’ve brought my kids to weddings before that were kid-invited. They were adorable, had so much fun, made great memories, and wedding guests thought they were cute. And I am close to my SIL and DH is very close. As I said, DH thinks she made the decision to impress her friends and will regret it later.

You sound not only judgmental but embittered. I feel for your SIL. Grow up, honey.

+1

Why on earth would she regret it? Because you will make her remember that she pissed your off for the rest of your life? Just spare her the annoyance and tell her how you feel so she can ignore you forever.

Honestly the SIL sounds fun, I'd want to be friends with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you still haven’t answered how you’re going to feel about wrangling 3 kids all weekend at a wedding while your husband and his parents are occupied with the wedding?

After reason the thread, this really strikes me as merely another “I hate my SIL” threads. You’re upset that she has the spotlight, and you and your kids don’t.

OP- I actually hate the spotlight. Hate it so much I didn’t have a wedding and eloped - inconveniencing exactly zero people. And I’ve brought my kids to weddings before that were kid-invited. They were adorable, had so much fun, made great memories, and wedding guests thought they were cute. And I am close to my SIL and DH is very close. As I said, DH thinks she made the decision to impress her friends and will regret it later.

You sound not only judgmental but embittered. I feel for your SIL. Grow up, honey.

+1

Why on earth would she regret it? Because you will make her remember that she pissed your off for the rest of your life? Just spare her the annoyance and tell her how you feel so she can ignore you forever.

Honestly the SIL sounds fun, I'd want to be friends with her.

Me, too. Then we can be the friends OP thinks her SIL is trying so hard to impress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

Let me try again. I never said kids in weddings are ugly, but you can read so you already know that. "Children are so cute in weddings!!!" is not a reason that people should have kids at weddings despite not wanting kids at their wedding, which is what OP is arguing. I had an adults-only wedding with the exception of my niece and nephew, who were the flower girl and ring bearer. *I* thought they were cute as hell, and while most of our guests smiled when they walked down the aisle, I bet very few of them thought twice about them or could pick them out of a lineup. Even though my family might think they [and now my son] are the cutest kids on earth, objectively they are not. I have never once left a wedding and thought, "ya know what just MADE that wedding? The adorable flower girl!" OP is acting like kids being adorable in weddings is justification for being MAD that her kids are not invited to weddings, and that is absurd. They just aren't THAT CUTE to make it some weird requirement.

And I'm sure that many children are not terribly injured at weddings, even though some are small enough to get trampled on a fun dance floor, because those children have parents. Parents who have to spend their night supervising their kids instead of letting loose and having fun. Which is why bringing kids to weddings is a pain.

I agree OP is entitled and obnoxious. I don't think people already on board with a kid-free wedding care that other people think kids are cute at a wedding so I don't understand your fervent need to educate them that children ARE NOT CUTE TO EVERYONE AT A WEDDING.

If you want kids there, have them, if you don't want kids there, don't have them. If you are attending a wedding, MYOB about kids being there or not being there. I invited kids to my wedding and some parents brought their children and some arranged for sitters. Everyone got to do what they wanted to do. A remarkable concept I know! But I know how complicated and personal weddings are and think that any decision that is made is fine so long as it is well and sensitively communicated.

The PP I was responding to (possibly you?) went out of their way to postulate that OP's kids are 'not cute'. So yes there is some air between that and 'ugly' but it seems like they were going for 'unappealing' in any context. The response to my post was also clearly about generic 'kids at weddings' not OP. So i responded in kind and then you responded to me with a long diatribe about OP's post, which was, at this point, not really what was being discussed. So don't get cute with me about being able to read. You are just moving the goalposts to suit your own argument.

All I'm saying is, 'be a nice and polite guest at weddings by accepting the event as planned and not mocking guests of any age'. If you feel the need to harp on that point, then I think it reflects pretty poorly on you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I not only had a kids free wedding but kid free parties at my home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

I don't "get bent" if I see kids at weddings, but OP acts like she's doing everyone a favor by bringing her adorable kids to the wedding. The other guests might think they are cute, but not as cute as OP thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

Let me try again. I never said kids in weddings are ugly, but you can read so you already know that. "Children are so cute in weddings!!!" is not a reason that people should have kids at weddings despite not wanting kids at their wedding, which is what OP is arguing. I had an adults-only wedding with the exception of my niece and nephew, who were the flower girl and ring bearer. *I* thought they were cute as hell, and while most of our guests smiled when they walked down the aisle, I bet very few of them thought twice about them or could pick them out of a lineup. Even though my family might think they [and now my son] are the cutest kids on earth, objectively they are not. I have never once left a wedding and thought, "ya know what just MADE that wedding? The adorable flower girl!" OP is acting like kids being adorable in weddings is justification for being MAD that her kids are not invited to weddings, and that is absurd. They just aren't THAT CUTE to make it some weird requirement.

And I'm sure that many children are not terribly injured at weddings, even though some are small enough to get trampled on a fun dance floor, because those children have parents. Parents who have to spend their night supervising their kids instead of letting loose and having fun. Which is why bringing kids to weddings is a pain.

I agree OP is entitled and obnoxious. I don't think people already on board with a kid-free wedding care that other people think kids are cute at a wedding so I don't understand your fervent need to educate them that children ARE NOT CUTE TO EVERYONE AT A WEDDING.

If you want kids there, have them, if you don't want kids there, don't have them. If you are attending a wedding, MYOB about kids being there or not being there. I invited kids to my wedding and some parents brought their children and some arranged for sitters. Everyone got to do what they wanted to do. A remarkable concept I know! But I know how complicated and personal weddings are and think that any decision that is made is fine so long as it is well and sensitively communicated.

The PP I was responding to (possibly you?) went out of their way to postulate that OP's kids are 'not cute'. So yes there is some air between that and 'ugly' but it seems like they were going for 'unappealing' in any context. The response to my post was also clearly about generic 'kids at weddings' not OP. So i responded in kind and then you responded to me with a long diatribe about OP's post, which was, at this point, not really what was being discussed. So don't get cute with me about being able to read. You are just moving the goalposts to suit your own argument.

All I'm saying is, 'be a nice and polite guest at weddings by accepting the event as planned and not mocking guests of any age'. If you feel the need to harp on that point, then I think it reflects pretty poorly on you.

Someone is really touchy about not everyone thinking their kids are cute

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

PP, do you generally only ever speak in hyperbole?

There are many places where children shouldn’t or don’t need to be, even if they’re adorable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

Let me try again. I never said kids in weddings are ugly, but you can read so you already know that. "Children are so cute in weddings!!!" is not a reason that people should have kids at weddings despite not wanting kids at their wedding, which is what OP is arguing. I had an adults-only wedding with the exception of my niece and nephew, who were the flower girl and ring bearer. *I* thought they were cute as hell, and while most of our guests smiled when they walked down the aisle, I bet very few of them thought twice about them or could pick them out of a lineup. Even though my family might think they [and now my son] are the cutest kids on earth, objectively they are not. I have never once left a wedding and thought, "ya know what just MADE that wedding? The adorable flower girl!" OP is acting like kids being adorable in weddings is justification for being MAD that her kids are not invited to weddings, and that is absurd. They just aren't THAT CUTE to make it some weird requirement.

And I'm sure that many children are not terribly injured at weddings, even though some are small enough to get trampled on a fun dance floor, because those children have parents. Parents who have to spend their night supervising their kids instead of letting loose and having fun. Which is why bringing kids to weddings is a pain.

I agree OP is entitled and obnoxious. I don't think people already on board with a kid-free wedding care that other people think kids are cute at a wedding so I don't understand your fervent need to educate them that children ARE NOT CUTE TO EVERYONE AT A WEDDING.

If you want kids there, have them, if you don't want kids there, don't have them. If you are attending a wedding, MYOB about kids being there or not being there. I invited kids to my wedding and some parents brought their children and some arranged for sitters. Everyone got to do what they wanted to do. A remarkable concept I know! But I know how complicated and personal weddings are and think that any decision that is made is fine so long as it is well and sensitively communicated.

The PP I was responding to (possibly you?) went out of their way to postulate that OP's kids are 'not cute'. So yes there is some air between that and 'ugly' but it seems like they were going for 'unappealing' in any context. The response to my post was also clearly about generic 'kids at weddings' not OP. So i responded in kind and then you responded to me with a long diatribe about OP's post, which was, at this point, not really what was being discussed. So don't get cute with me about being able to read. You are just moving the goalposts to suit your own argument.

All I'm saying is, 'be a nice and polite guest at weddings by accepting the event as planned and not mocking guests of any age'. If you feel the need to harp on that point, then I think it reflects pretty poorly on you.

Someone is really touchy about not everyone thinking their kids are cute

No. Someone is touchy about people who like to make other people's weddings about themselves, and who like to say things to make other people feel bad about themselves for no reason. Not because it was done to me, but because I'm a decent person. I don't care if you think mine or any kids are cute. But I expect you to act like a halfway decent person and not go out of your way to tell someone something that will hurt their feelings.

And no, this never happened to me, I'm just super over reading about people being overly entitled about weddings they have been invited to. I'm currently watching one family member do something similar to another family member. I just don't understand why we can't be nice to people we supposedly love/life (since you're theoretically attending their wedding!) and feel the need to cut people down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

PP, do you generally only ever speak in hyperbole?

There are many places where children shouldn’t or don’t need to be, even if they’re adorable.

I'm not the one who invoked the word 'dangerous' regarding kids attending weddings. Hyperbole thy name is the PP before me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

Let me try again. I never said kids in weddings are ugly, but you can read so you already know that. "Children are so cute in weddings!!!" is not a reason that people should have kids at weddings despite not wanting kids at their wedding, which is what OP is arguing. I had an adults-only wedding with the exception of my niece and nephew, who were the flower girl and ring bearer. *I* thought they were cute as hell, and while most of our guests smiled when they walked down the aisle, I bet very few of them thought twice about them or could pick them out of a lineup. Even though my family might think they [and now my son] are the cutest kids on earth, objectively they are not. I have never once left a wedding and thought, "ya know what just MADE that wedding? The adorable flower girl!" OP is acting like kids being adorable in weddings is justification for being MAD that her kids are not invited to weddings, and that is absurd. They just aren't THAT CUTE to make it some weird requirement.

And I'm sure that many children are not terribly injured at weddings, even though some are small enough to get trampled on a fun dance floor, because those children have parents. Parents who have to spend their night supervising their kids instead of letting loose and having fun. Which is why bringing kids to weddings is a pain.

I agree OP is entitled and obnoxious. I don't think people already on board with a kid-free wedding care that other people think kids are cute at a wedding so I don't understand your fervent need to educate them that children ARE NOT CUTE TO EVERYONE AT A WEDDING.

If you want kids there, have them, if you don't want kids there, don't have them. If you are attending a wedding, MYOB about kids being there or not being there. I invited kids to my wedding and some parents brought their children and some arranged for sitters. Everyone got to do what they wanted to do. A remarkable concept I know! But I know how complicated and personal weddings are and think that any decision that is made is fine so long as it is well and sensitively communicated.

The PP I was responding to (possibly you?) went out of their way to postulate that OP's kids are 'not cute'. So yes there is some air between that and 'ugly' but it seems like they were going for 'unappealing' in any context. The response to my post was also clearly about generic 'kids at weddings' not OP. So i responded in kind and then you responded to me with a long diatribe about OP's post, which was, at this point, not really what was being discussed. So don't get cute with me about being able to read. You are just moving the goalposts to suit your own argument.

All I'm saying is, 'be a nice and polite guest at weddings by accepting the event as planned and not mocking guests of any age'. If you feel the need to harp on that point, then I think it reflects pretty poorly on you.

Someone is really touchy about not everyone thinking their kids are cute

No. Someone is touchy about people who like to make other people's weddings about themselves, and who like to say things to make other people feel bad about themselves for no reason. Not because it was done to me, but because I'm a decent person. I don't care if you think mine or any kids are cute. But I expect you to act like a halfway decent person and not go out of your way to tell someone something that will hurt their feelings.

And no, this never happened to me, I'm just super over reading about people being overly entitled about weddings they have been invited to. I'm currently watching one family member do something similar to another family member. I just don't understand why we can't be nice to people we supposedly love/life (since you're theoretically attending their wedding!) and feel the need to cut people down.

Whew. This forum might not be for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

Let me try again. I never said kids in weddings are ugly, but you can read so you already know that. "Children are so cute in weddings!!!" is not a reason that people should have kids at weddings despite not wanting kids at their wedding, which is what OP is arguing. I had an adults-only wedding with the exception of my niece and nephew, who were the flower girl and ring bearer. *I* thought they were cute as hell, and while most of our guests smiled when they walked down the aisle, I bet very few of them thought twice about them or could pick them out of a lineup. Even though my family might think they [and now my son] are the cutest kids on earth, objectively they are not. I have never once left a wedding and thought, "ya know what just MADE that wedding? The adorable flower girl!" OP is acting like kids being adorable in weddings is justification for being MAD that her kids are not invited to weddings, and that is absurd. They just aren't THAT CUTE to make it some weird requirement.

And I'm sure that many children are not terribly injured at weddings, even though some are small enough to get trampled on a fun dance floor, because those children have parents. Parents who have to spend their night supervising their kids instead of letting loose and having fun. Which is why bringing kids to weddings is a pain.

I agree OP is entitled and obnoxious. I don't think people already on board with a kid-free wedding care that other people think kids are cute at a wedding so I don't understand your fervent need to educate them that children ARE NOT CUTE TO EVERYONE AT A WEDDING.

If you want kids there, have them, if you don't want kids there, don't have them. If you are attending a wedding, MYOB about kids being there or not being there. I invited kids to my wedding and some parents brought their children and some arranged for sitters. Everyone got to do what they wanted to do. A remarkable concept I know! But I know how complicated and personal weddings are and think that any decision that is made is fine so long as it is well and sensitively communicated.

The PP I was responding to (possibly you?) went out of their way to postulate that OP's kids are 'not cute'. So yes there is some air between that and 'ugly' but it seems like they were going for 'unappealing' in any context. The response to my post was also clearly about generic 'kids at weddings' not OP. So i responded in kind and then you responded to me with a long diatribe about OP's post, which was, at this point, not really what was being discussed. So don't get cute with me about being able to read. You are just moving the goalposts to suit your own argument.

All I'm saying is, 'be a nice and polite guest at weddings by accepting the event as planned and not mocking guests of any age'. If you feel the need to harp on that point, then I think it reflects pretty poorly on you.

Someone is really touchy about not everyone thinking their kids are cute

No. Someone is touchy about people who like to make other people's weddings about themselves, and who like to say things to make other people feel bad about themselves for no reason. Not because it was done to me, but because I'm a decent person. I don't care if you think mine or any kids are cute. But I expect you to act like a halfway decent person and not go out of your way to tell someone something that will hurt their feelings.

And no, this never happened to me, I'm just super over reading about people being overly entitled about weddings they have been invited to. I'm currently watching one family member do something similar to another family member. I just don't understand why we can't be nice to people we supposedly love/life (since you're theoretically attending their wedding!) and feel the need to cut people down.

Whew. This forum might not be for you.

I've been here for years. I will keep telling people not to be aholes even though I'm sure its fruitless.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

PP, do you generally only ever speak in hyperbole?

There are many places where children shouldn’t or don’t need to be, even if they’re adorable.

I'm not the one who invoked the word 'dangerous' regarding kids attending weddings. Hyperbole thy name is the PP before me.

I think you're digging your heels in here and I'm not sure why - you truly do not see how a dance floor filled with dancing adults (who were probably drinking) could be dangerous for a younger kid? I am sure there are plenty of times when it's not dangerous at all depending on the number of guests, the size of the dance floor, how many people are dancing, the age and size of the kids.....but you can't admit that there are scenarios where it could be dangerous? Someone posted above about some parents being so intoxicated they FORGOT to pick up their kid from the babysitter. Would you want your 3 year old flower girl dancing at those peoples' feet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

PP, do you generally only ever speak in hyperbole?

There are many places where children shouldn’t or don’t need to be, even if they’re adorable.

I'm not the one who invoked the word 'dangerous' regarding kids attending weddings. Hyperbole thy name is the PP before me.

I think you're digging your heels in here and I'm not sure why - you truly do not see how a dance floor filled with dancing adults (who were probably drinking) could be dangerous for a younger kid? I am sure there are plenty of times when it's not dangerous at all depending on the number of guests, the size of the dance floor, how many people are dancing, the age and size of the kids.....but you can't admit that there are scenarios where it could be dangerous? Someone posted above about some parents being so intoxicated they FORGOT to pick up their kid from the babysitter. Would you want your 3 year old flower girl dancing at those peoples' feet?

Of course I am capable of coming up with a scenario where a child could be injured at a wedding. But its a red herring and you know it. Weddings are not dangerous. Just like any event with a lot of people, there is some risk. But just as you and PP insist that children being cute is not reason to make them attend, a dance floor being active and fun isn't a reason to keep them home.

I'm sure if there were a rash of bring-children-to-wedding-only-to-have-them-grievously-injured events all the anti kids at weddings folks would be citing it left and right.

Invite them if you want, don't if you don't want, no reason to come up with a convoluted justification that makes the other side seem like bad people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am actually laughing out loud at my desk to return to this thread this morning and learn that OP ELOPED!

(Also willing to bet no one thinks her kids are that cute at weddings, but that's another issue).

Was coming to say this, too. I don’t care what people say out loud about OP’s kids (it has to be nice or else you’re an asshole), I’d bet the farm that many in their heads were thinking “get that kid out from underfoot” or “ok we’ve admired your kids enough, it’s adult time now” or something along those lines.

And then posts like this show that there are aholes on both sides of this debate.

OP is full of herself, but if you see a kid at a wedding and get bent you are just as bad. They usually ARE cute and having fun and making family memories that will last forever. Some of my best childhood memories are the weddings I was able to attend (aunts and uncles).

People will plan a wedding, you will decide if you want to attend or not and try to show up and be happy and not be a sourpuss about ANYTHING, kids being there or kids being absent. I just can't with how mean everyone has to be about weddings, its really ridiculous.

No one is getting bent about the kids being there; they just aren't nearly as cute as the parents think they are (which is almost always true in pretty much any context). And when they are running around on the dance floor, it can be a bit dangerous for the kids.

Oh for god's sake. Show me the CDC list of children terribly injured at wedding dance parties please. You're being just as bad as OP. Family generally thinks the children they love are cute. If you don't, what do you gain by making sure the parents know you think their kids are ugly? That is not the spirit one should bring to any party, wedding or not.

Let me try again. I never said kids in weddings are ugly, but you can read so you already know that. "Children are so cute in weddings!!!" is not a reason that people should have kids at weddings despite not wanting kids at their wedding, which is what OP is arguing. I had an adults-only wedding with the exception of my niece and nephew, who were the flower girl and ring bearer. *I* thought they were cute as hell, and while most of our guests smiled when they walked down the aisle, I bet very few of them thought twice about them or could pick them out of a lineup. Even though my family might think they [and now my son] are the cutest kids on earth, objectively they are not. I have never once left a wedding and thought, "ya know what just MADE that wedding? The adorable flower girl!" OP is acting like kids being adorable in weddings is justification for being MAD that her kids are not invited to weddings, and that is absurd. They just aren't THAT CUTE to make it some weird requirement.

And I'm sure that many children are not terribly injured at weddings, even though some are small enough to get trampled on a fun dance floor, because those children have parents. Parents who have to spend their night supervising their kids instead of letting loose and having fun. Which is why bringing kids to weddings is a pain.

I agree OP is entitled and obnoxious. I don't think people already on board with a kid-free wedding care that other people think kids are cute at a wedding so I don't understand your fervent need to educate them that children ARE NOT CUTE TO EVERYONE AT A WEDDING.

If you want kids there, have them, if you don't want kids there, don't have them. If you are attending a wedding, MYOB about kids being there or not being there. I invited kids to my wedding and some parents brought their children and some arranged for sitters. Everyone got to do what they wanted to do. A remarkable concept I know! But I know how complicated and personal weddings are and think that any decision that is made is fine so long as it is well and sensitively communicated.

The PP I was responding to (possibly you?) went out of their way to postulate that OP's kids are 'not cute'. So yes there is some air between that and 'ugly' but it seems like they were going for 'unappealing' in any context. The response to my post was also clearly about generic 'kids at weddings' not OP. So i responded in kind and then you responded to me with a long diatribe about OP's post, which was, at this point, not really what was being discussed. So don't get cute with me about being able to read. You are just moving the goalposts to suit your own argument.

All I'm saying is, 'be a nice and polite guest at weddings by accepting the event as planned and not mocking guests of any age'. If you feel the need to harp on that point, then I think it reflects pretty poorly on you.

Oh boy, what a ride - I am the poster you responded to. I said I was willing to be that OP's "kids are not that cute" at weddings. You missed the "that" and think I said OP's "kids are not cute." You base your entire argument on a misquote. My point is about OP being entitled and thinking her kids are sooooooo cute that they deserve to be invited to these weddings. My response is that I doubt they are THAT CUTE [that they deserve to be invited to these weddings]. Can this thread die now?