No kids weddings rant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people will agree with you, but a lot of people here won’t. When I was a kid, kids were invited to all the weddings my family was invited to. I’m not sure when this changed.

Weddings are in large part a celebration of the idea of family. Circle of life and all that conveys.

Kids are invited to our weddings too. But I think the issue is cost, at least partly. Each seat costs money and in order to accommodate more people/families, you invite just the couple rather than their whole family.

In my family close family and children are always invited. It’s usually local friends or more distant family who live locally who would only be invited as “mr Mrs”

But for some people the no kids thing is an aesthetic choice. That I don’t get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is pretty weird, too, but people can do what they want. Don’t feel bad RSVPing no. They invite. You get to choose if you attend.

I agree with this. They certainly have a right to do and I have a right to say no with no judgement.

I see both sides.

I had a good girlfriend who came to my small destination wedding when she was single. Fast forward several years and she is now getting married OUT OF STATE which would require me to be gone probably 2 nights due to it's location, and expects me come - but no kids are invited. Um, I have 2 small children so I tell her regretfully I can't make it. She is upset. Say what???? She says "can't someone just watch your kids?" I was flabbergasted. Uh, no. We have no family in the area, they are LITTLE, like both under 3, and my husbands job is such that he works hours that make it impossible to care for 2 little kids, one of whom isn't even in daycare. The cluelessness and utter obtuseness were astounding. I sent a nice gift and didn't lose a moment of sleep over it.

[Anonymous]

Ew a bunch of kids on the dance floor is literally the reason we did not invite kids to our wedding. We both have big families and invited lots of friends. The last thing I wanted was 30 kids on the dance floor

[Anonymous]

Our wedding ended at midnight. Yes, overtired kids melting down is exactly what it needed. Sorry if the $ I spent on a party I was hosting and invited you to was inconvenient in your eyes. I actually gave my siblings a choice and they voted no kids so they could enjoy themselves. (But they’re not attached at the hip to their children.)

Oh - and my in laws insisted on bringing their kid. He got sick after dinner and his parents and my DH’s parents all left to take care of him. So nice for my husband that they all missed most of the reception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is pretty weird, too, but people can do what they want. Don’t feel bad RSVPing no. They invite. You get to choose if you attend.

I agree with this. They certainly have a right to do and I have a right to say no with no judgement.

I see both sides.

I had a good girlfriend who came to my small destination wedding when she was single. Fast forward several years and she is now getting married OUT OF STATE which would require me to be gone probably 2 nights due to it's location, and expects me come - but no kids are invited. Um, I have 2 small children so I tell her regretfully I can't make it. She is upset. Say what???? She says "can't someone just watch your kids?" I was flabbergasted. Uh, no. We have no family in the area, they are LITTLE, like both under 3, and my husbands job is such that he works hours that make it impossible to care for 2 little kids, one of whom isn't even in daycare. The cluelessness and utter obtuseness were astounding. I sent a nice gift and didn't lose a moment of sleep over it.

Are you serious? You had a destination wedding and have the gall to complain that she got married “OUT OF STATE”? I hope she dropped you as a friend because this is such an incredibly entitled way of thinking and I can’t bekieve you’re painting her as the obtuse party. You are saying that because you had kids first, your time and presence is more sacred than hers. Ugh. I can’t stand people like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our wedding ended at midnight. Yes, overtired kids melting down is exactly what it needed. Sorry if the $ I spent on a party I was hosting and invited you to was inconvenient in your eyes. I actually gave my siblings a choice and they voted no kids so they could enjoy themselves. (But they’re not attached at the hip to their children.)

Oh - and my in laws insisted on bringing their kid. He got sick after dinner and his parents and my DH’s parents all left to take care of him. So nice for my husband that they all missed most of the reception.

If he was sick enough that grandparents felt the need to be there, then presumably he was too sick for them to feel comfortable to leave with a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people will agree with you, but a lot of people here won’t. When I was a kid, kids were invited to all the weddings my family was invited to. I’m not sure when this changed.

Weddings are in large part a celebration of the idea of family. Circle of life and all that conveys.

There are many reasons but I think in many cases it’s because wedding catering has become so expensive and and easy cut are the kids. Also, people are obsessed with the Pinterest and Instagram perfect celebrations and don’t want kids to ruin them.

[Anonymous]

I think that what’s worse than not having kids at a wedding is sitting in judgment for a family member that has just or is about go through a huge step in their life. While you say you’re just ranting here, OP, and that you’d never say anything, you’re doing more than just having a different opinion. You’re carrying around a judgment towards family members simply because you’re inconvenienced and would do something different. That impacts every interaction with them. It’s not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our wedding ended at midnight. Yes, overtired kids melting down is exactly what it needed. Sorry if the $ I spent on a party I was hosting and invited you to was inconvenient in your eyes. I actually gave my siblings a choice and they voted no kids so they could enjoy themselves. (But they’re not attached at the hip to their children.)

Oh - and my in laws insisted on bringing their kid. He got sick after dinner and his parents and my DH’s parents all left to take care of him. So nice for my husband that they all missed most of the reception.

If he was sick enough that grandparents felt the need to be there, then presumably he was too sick for them to feel comfortable to leave with a babysitter.

Nice try. But he was sick because he overstuffed his face with food and sodas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is pretty weird, too, but people can do what they want. Don’t feel bad RSVPing no. They invite. You get to choose if you attend.

I agree with this. They certainly have a right to do and I have a right to say no with no judgement.

I see both sides.

I had a good girlfriend who came to my small destination wedding when she was single. Fast forward several years and she is now getting married OUT OF STATE which would require me to be gone probably 2 nights due to it's location, and expects me come - but no kids are invited. Um, I have 2 small children so I tell her regretfully I can't make it. She is upset. Say what???? She says "can't someone just watch your kids?" I was flabbergasted. Uh, no. We have no family in the area, they are LITTLE, like both under 3, and my husbands job is such that he works hours that make it impossible to care for 2 little kids, one of whom isn't even in daycare. The cluelessness and utter obtuseness were astounding. I sent a nice gift and didn't lose a moment of sleep over it.

Are you serious? You had a destination wedding and have the gall to complain that she got married “OUT OF STATE”? I hope she dropped you as a friend because this is such an incredibly entitled way of thinking and I can’t bekieve you’re painting her as the obtuse party. You are saying that because you had kids first, your time and presence is more sacred than hers. Ugh. I can’t stand people like you.

+1. I had the exact same reaction.

[Anonymous]

Kids can be annoying and distracting. They can be messy and annoying. I like kids well enough but sometimes it’s ok to leave them out. I get that it’s inconvenient to attend kid-free weddings, especially if they involve travel, but you can always decline!

[Anonymous]

Plenty of people chime into threads about breweries and wineries just ADAMANT that kids should not be there because it's a place where alcohol is consumed. While weddings are about joining families, sacred traditions, etc. they also tend to be about throwing a great party. And for some people, their vision of a great party is not appropriate for kids. I've been to kid-included events and adult-only events and both have been great, but will say that there were several late-night events with kids where the majority of the adults were in no shape to be around children. So I really see both sides of it depending on personal preference - there's no one way to have a wedding.

[Anonymous]

OP - in this case, cost is not the issue. DH’s parents are paying for the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - who is dragging kids to the wedding. As stated, we are complying. It is just really inconvenient.

I think childless couples are often laissez-faire about leaving babies and small kids with random sitters and don't get why it might be tough and stressful. You'll figure it out, but I get your annoyance.

[Anonymous]

I also find it odd. Kids were always included when I was young. Ive only ever attended one "no kids" wedding . People who knew the bride weren't surprised. We love her, but she does like her life just so.

Interestingly, I have an eight year old, and I haven't been invited to a wedding since a year before his birth. At my age, most of my friends that were interested in marriage went down that road a while ago. All of my unmarried friends are good with staying single or just living with their partners.