Teen death at Whitman?

[Anonymous]

It could just as easily been one of the boy's friends. They were drunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is that he had alcohol (where did he get it) and chose to drink it. The question remains how/why he got separated from his friends.

Well they were likely drinking too so you don't exactly have a group of good decision makers at work here. Everyone involved had the best of intentions (I suppose besides whoever provided the booze to the kids) and if anyone had any idea that it would end this way would have absolutely done things differently. If he really thought he was risking his life doing this he probably wouldn't have been drinking. We as parents put so much effort into "don't drink and drive" that maybe the kids overlook the other risks and like someone else said, most of the time it all ends well.

It's possible the kids swiped a bottle or two from their parents bar. Maybe no one purposefully supplied them with alcohol. Maybe no one is to blame.

Yes, the kid shouldn't have been drinking but, as others have pointed out, but for the grace of God...

The responsibility lies with the person who drank. I think this is a very important point to make. However unfortunate and tragic the outcome. The kids need to understand that the series of choices made led to this. Any sort of candy coating it or deflection of responsibility only perpetuates the problem.

I disagree and this is how a Penn State kid is dead. My child is not an island. You don't encourage your friends to drink or drink too much. If your friend is wasted you make sure they are safe, you make sure they get home, you don't leave them alone. You don't let people walk home alone at night. We are a community and we are responsible for each other.

Pretending you are not part of the problem when you go to an underage drinking party and encourage your friend to drink is a problem. You decided to do something illegal and you did it irresponsibly by drinking too much, by running from a party, by not getting everybody home safe. You are part of the problem if you don't look out for your friends.

The boy had a bottle of vodka in his jacket. He was choosing to drink. His friends were choosing to drink. They were all drunk.

Drunk people do stupid and sometimes tragic things. Drinking so much that you can not get yourself home safely is extremely dangerous. If you are that drunk - call your parents and tell them that you need to go home.

The friend decided to drink. They decided to leave their friend. They will live with the knowledge that their bad decision lead to the death of a friend.

The unresponsive cops know that the kids death is on them too.

Not 1 person is responsible for this. It was a whole bunch of people making bad decisions. You can't wash your hands of your bad decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is that he had alcohol (where did he get it) and chose to drink it. The question remains how/why he got separated from his friends.

Well they were likely drinking too so you don't exactly have a group of good decision makers at work here. Everyone involved had the best of intentions (I suppose besides whoever provided the booze to the kids) and if anyone had any idea that it would end this way would have absolutely done things differently. If he really thought he was risking his life doing this he probably wouldn't have been drinking. We as parents put so much effort into "don't drink and drive" that maybe the kids overlook the other risks and like someone else said, most of the time it all ends well.

It's possible the kids swiped a bottle or two from their parents bar. Maybe no one purposefully supplied them with alcohol. Maybe no one is to blame.

Yes, the kid shouldn't have been drinking but, as others have pointed out, but for the grace of God...

The responsibility lies with the person who drank. I think this is a very important point to make. However unfortunate and tragic the outcome. The kids need to understand that the series of choices made led to this. Any sort of candy coating it or deflection of responsibility only perpetuates the problem.

I disagree and this is how a Penn State kid is dead. My child is not an island. You don't encourage your friends to drink or drink too much. If your friend is wasted you make sure they are safe, you make sure they get home, you don't leave them alone. You don't let people walk home alone at night. We are a community and we are responsible for each other.

Pretending you are not part of the problem when you go to an underage drinking party and encourage your friend to drink is a problem. You decided to do something illegal and you did it irresponsibly by drinking too much, by running from a party, by not getting everybody home safe. You are part of the problem if you don't look out for your friends.

The boy had a bottle of vodka in his jacket. He was choosing to drink. His friends were choosing to drink. They were all drunk.

Drunk people do stupid and sometimes tragic things. Drinking so much that you can not get yourself home safely is extremely dangerous. If you are that drunk - call your parents and tell them that you need to go home.

The friend decided to drink. They decided to leave their friend. They will live with the knowledge that their bad decision lead to the death of a friend.

The unresponsive cops know that the kids death is on them too.

Not 1 person is responsible for this. It was a whole bunch of people making bad decisions. You can't wash your hands of your bad decisions.

Do you seriously think that his friends knowingly left him dying in the woods? I don't.

Should they have told their parents and gotten help? Yeah, they probably should have. But these kids were drunk and likely worried about getting themselves, including this boy, in trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The place where his body was found is not on the way to his house from the 7-11, where he was seen around 11:00, or the party, which broke up around 10:40. I think maybe a group of them went to hang out at the swim club or the woods near the swim club after stopping at the 7-11.

I thought an earlier report said that the kids had been in the woods and lost track of him. Does anyone else remember reading (or seeing) that?

Did they check that he had made it home the next day? What about when his dad started trying to find him, and calling his friends? Did any of these kids say they had been with him in the woods? If he had been with friends at the swim club, and in the woods, why did his poor father have to tell cops about the find my phone location?
I just don't understand how these boys could have lost track of him, and then not mentioned it to anyone while his family was frantically searching for him.
The conversations at my house this week are: please don't drink or do drugs. If you break that rule, please call me. No matter what time it is, or how mad you think I will be, just always call me. And be a good friend, look out for your friends, if someone is getting out of control, sick or in trouble, please call me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The place where his body was found is not on the way to his house from the 7-11, where he was seen around 11:00, or the party, which broke up around 10:40. I think maybe a group of them went to hang out at the swim club or the woods near the swim club after stopping at the 7-11.

I thought an earlier report said that the kids had been in the woods and lost track of him. Does anyone else remember reading (or seeing) that?

Did they check that he had made it home the next day? What about when his dad started trying to find him, and calling his friends? Did any of these kids say they had been with him in the woods? If he had been with friends at the swim club, and in the woods, why did his poor father have to tell cops about the find my phone location?
I just don't understand how these boys could have lost track of him, and then not mentioned it to anyone while his family was frantically searching for him.
The conversations at my house this week are: please don't drink or do drugs. If you break that rule, please call me. No matter what time it is, or how mad you think I will be, just always call me. And be a good friend, look out for your friends, if someone is getting out of control, sick or in trouble, please call me.

Those are good questions and of course I have no idea. The father must have been looking for his son for a while before he went to the police at 3:30am. By that point his son was probably already dead - preliminary results indicate drowning. That would also explain why the boy didn't call out when his friends were looking for him.

Again, this really does sound like a tragic accident. But it isn't clear that these friends could have saved their friend even if they had told the authorities right away that he was missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The place where his body was found is not on the way to his house from the 7-11, where he was seen around 11:00, or the party, which broke up around 10:40. I think maybe a group of them went to hang out at the swim club or the woods near the swim club after stopping at the 7-11.

I thought an earlier report said that the kids had been in the woods and lost track of him. Does anyone else remember reading (or seeing) that?

Did they check that he had made it home the next day? What about when his dad started trying to find him, and calling his friends? Did any of these kids say they had been with him in the woods? If he had been with friends at the swim club, and in the woods, why did his poor father have to tell cops about the find my phone location?
I just don't understand how these boys could have lost track of him, and then not mentioned it to anyone while his family was frantically searching for him.
The conversations at my house this week are: please don't drink or do drugs. If you break that rule, please call me. No matter what time it is, or how mad you think I will be, just always call me. And be a good friend, look out for your friends, if someone is getting out of control, sick or in trouble, please call me.

My daughter and all of her friends know that I will come get any one or all of them regardless of the situation, no questions asked, just to get them to safety. They know we'll worry about the details later. I never want the fear of how upset I might be deter her or her friends from calling me. I have told them this since middle school and now have had a reason to reiterate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is that he had alcohol (where did he get it) and chose to drink it. The question remains how/why he got separated from his friends.

Well they were likely drinking too so you don't exactly have a group of good decision makers at work here. Everyone involved had the best of intentions (I suppose besides whoever provided the booze to the kids) and if anyone had any idea that it would end this way would have absolutely done things differently. If he really thought he was risking his life doing this he probably wouldn't have been drinking. We as parents put so much effort into "don't drink and drive" that maybe the kids overlook the other risks and like someone else said, most of the time it all ends well.

It's possible the kids swiped a bottle or two from their parents bar. Maybe no one purposefully supplied them with alcohol. Maybe no one is to blame.

Yes, the kid shouldn't have been drinking but, as others have pointed out, but for the grace of God...

The responsibility lies with the person who drank. I think this is a very important point to make. However unfortunate and tragic the outcome. The kids need to understand that the series of choices made led to this. Any sort of candy coating it or deflection of responsibility only perpetuates the problem.

I disagree and this is how a Penn State kid is dead. My child is not an island. You don't encourage your friends to drink or drink too much. If your friend is wasted you make sure they are safe, you make sure they get home, you don't leave them alone. You don't let people walk home alone at night. We are a community and we are responsible for each other.

Pretending you are not part of the problem when you go to an underage drinking party and encourage your friend to drink is a problem. You decided to do something illegal and you did it irresponsibly by drinking too much, by running from a party, by not getting everybody home safe. You are part of the problem if you don't look out for your friends.

The boy had a bottle of vodka in his jacket. He was choosing to drink. His friends were choosing to drink. They were all drunk.

Drunk people do stupid and sometimes tragic things. Drinking so much that you can not get yourself home safely is extremely dangerous. If you are that drunk - call your parents and tell them that you need to go home.

The friend decided to drink. They decided to leave their friend. They will live with the knowledge that their bad decision lead to the death of a friend.

The unresponsive cops know that the kids death is on them too.

Not 1 person is responsible for this. It was a whole bunch of people making bad decisions. You can't wash your hands of your bad decisions.

Do you seriously think that his friends knowingly left him dying in the woods? I don't.

Should they have told their parents and gotten help? Yeah, they probably should have. But these kids were drunk and likely worried about getting themselves, including this boy, in trouble.

It's like drinking and driving. You don't knowingly try to kill somebody yet they are dead. Yes. Kids need to learn how to be safe. They don't leave drunk friends stumbling through the streets. Everybody need to have each other's backs.

They should have stayed with him, gotten an uber, gotten him home.

Getting in trouble is much better than you friend being dead. Kids need to stop being so worried about "getting in trouble" and make sure everybody is acting in a safe way.

Don't let your friends get smashed. Don't binge drink. If they do, make sure they are safe. Don't get in a car with a drunk. Don't let a drunk drive. Don't walk home alone. Don't leave a drunk to throwup during sleep and die.

Kids need to realize they are part of a situation and their actions have consequence, just like drinking and driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The place where his body was found is not on the way to his house from the 7-11, where he was seen around 11:00, or the party, which broke up around 10:40. I think maybe a group of them went to hang out at the swim club or the woods near the swim club after stopping at the 7-11.

I thought an earlier report said that the kids had been in the woods and lost track of him. Does anyone else remember reading (or seeing) that?

Did they check that he had made it home the next day? What about when his dad started trying to find him, and calling his friends? Did any of these kids say they had been with him in the woods? If he had been with friends at the swim club, and in the woods, why did his poor father have to tell cops about the find my phone location?
I just don't understand how these boys could have lost track of him, and then not mentioned it to anyone while his family was frantically searching for him.
The conversations at my house this week are: please don't drink or do drugs. If you break that rule, please call me. No matter what time it is, or how mad you think I will be, just always call me. And be a good friend, look out for your friends, if someone is getting out of control, sick or in trouble, please call me.

My daughter and all of her friends know that I will come get any one or all of them regardless of the situation, no questions asked, just to get them to safety. They know we'll worry about the details later. I never want the fear of how upset I might be deter her or her friends from calling me. I have told them this since middle school and now have had a reason to reiterate.

But if your daughter had been goofing off in the dark woods with her friends and one of the girls had wandered off into the woods to go pee and had drunkenly fallen into a ditch filled with water and drowned....what difference would it make if your daughter then said "Mom we're over at the swim club and we can't find Sara." It would already be too late for Sara.

I'm telling you, this sort of dumb drunken accident can only be prevented by not drinking in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The place where his body was found is not on the way to his house from the 7-11, where he was seen around 11:00, or the party, which broke up around 10:40. I think maybe a group of them went to hang out at the swim club or the woods near the swim club after stopping at the 7-11.

I thought an earlier report said that the kids had been in the woods and lost track of him. Does anyone else remember reading (or seeing) that?

Did they check that he had made it home the next day? What about when his dad started trying to find him, and calling his friends? Did any of these kids say they had been with him in the woods? If he had been with friends at the swim club, and in the woods, why did his poor father have to tell cops about the find my phone location?
I just don't understand how these boys could have lost track of him, and then not mentioned it to anyone while his family was frantically searching for him.
The conversations at my house this week are: please don't drink or do drugs. If you break that rule, please call me. No matter what time it is, or how mad you think I will be, just always call me. And be a good friend, look out for your friends, if someone is getting out of control, sick or in trouble, please call me.

My daughter and all of her friends know that I will come get any one or all of them regardless of the situation, no questions asked, just to get them to safety. They know we'll worry about the details later. I never want the fear of how upset I might be deter her or her friends from calling me. I have told them this since middle school and now have had a reason to reiterate.

But if your daughter had been goofing off in the dark woods with her friends and one of the girls had wandered off into the woods to go pee and had drunkenly fallen into a ditch filled with water and drowned....what difference would it make if your daughter then said "Mom we're over at the swim club and we can't find Sara." It would already be too late for Sara.

I'm telling you, this sort of dumb drunken accident can only be prevented by not drinking in the first place.

You don't know that at all. Had his friends reached out to a parent or a trusted adult to help find him initially that evening, he may have been hurt but survived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The place where his body was found is not on the way to his house from the 7-11, where he was seen around 11:00, or the party, which broke up around 10:40. I think maybe a group of them went to hang out at the swim club or the woods near the swim club after stopping at the 7-11.

I thought an earlier report said that the kids had been in the woods and lost track of him. Does anyone else remember reading (or seeing) that?

Did they check that he had made it home the next day? What about when his dad started trying to find him, and calling his friends? Did any of these kids say they had been with him in the woods? If he had been with friends at the swim club, and in the woods, why did his poor father have to tell cops about the find my phone location?
I just don't understand how these boys could have lost track of him, and then not mentioned it to anyone while his family was frantically searching for him.
The conversations at my house this week are: please don't drink or do drugs. If you break that rule, please call me. No matter what time it is, or how mad you think I will be, just always call me. And be a good friend, look out for your friends, if someone is getting out of control, sick or in trouble, please call me.

My daughter and all of her friends know that I will come get any one or all of them regardless of the situation, no questions asked, just to get them to safety. They know we'll worry about the details later. I never want the fear of how upset I might be deter her or her friends from calling me. I have told them this since middle school and now have had a reason to reiterate.

But if your daughter had been goofing off in the dark woods with her friends and one of the girls had wandered off into the woods to go pee and had drunkenly fallen into a ditch filled with water and drowned....what difference would it make if your daughter then said "Mom we're over at the swim club and we can't find Sara." It would already be too late for Sara.

I'm telling you, this sort of dumb drunken accident can only be prevented by not drinking in the first place.

You don't know that at all. Had his friends reached out to a parent or a trusted adult to help find him initially that evening, he may have been hurt but survived.

I thought preliminary results indicated drowning. Not injury. Drowning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The place where his body was found is not on the way to his house from the 7-11, where he was seen around 11:00, or the party, which broke up around 10:40. I think maybe a group of them went to hang out at the swim club or the woods near the swim club after stopping at the 7-11.

I thought an earlier report said that the kids had been in the woods and lost track of him. Does anyone else remember reading (or seeing) that?

Did they check that he had made it home the next day? What about when his dad started trying to find him, and calling his friends? Did any of these kids say they had been with him in the woods? If he had been with friends at the swim club, and in the woods, why did his poor father have to tell cops about the find my phone location?
I just don't understand how these boys could have lost track of him, and then not mentioned it to anyone while his family was frantically searching for him.
The conversations at my house this week are: please don't drink or do drugs. If you break that rule, please call me. No matter what time it is, or how mad you think I will be, just always call me. And be a good friend, look out for your friends, if someone is getting out of control, sick or in trouble, please call me.

My daughter and all of her friends know that I will come get any one or all of them regardless of the situation, no questions asked, just to get them to safety. They know we'll worry about the details later. I never want the fear of how upset I might be deter her or her friends from calling me. I have told them this since middle school and now have had a reason to reiterate.

But if your daughter had been goofing off in the dark woods with her friends and one of the girls had wandered off into the woods to go pee and had drunkenly fallen into a ditch filled with water and drowned....what difference would it make if your daughter then said "Mom we're over at the swim club and we can't find Sara." It would already be too late for Sara.

I'm telling you, this sort of dumb drunken accident can only be prevented by not drinking in the first place.

Are you kidding?
Maybe Sarah would only be injured, not dead, and prompt medical attention could save her.
Maybe her parents would be spared the thought of her lying dead in the woods for hours before being found.
Maybe the daughter would be spared the thought of Sarah lying dead in the woods alone, and wondering if she could have saved her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The place where his body was found is not on the way to his house from the 7-11, where he was seen around 11:00, or the party, which broke up around 10:40. I think maybe a group of them went to hang out at the swim club or the woods near the swim club after stopping at the 7-11.

I thought an earlier report said that the kids had been in the woods and lost track of him. Does anyone else remember reading (or seeing) that?

Did they check that he had made it home the next day? What about when his dad started trying to find him, and calling his friends? Did any of these kids say they had been with him in the woods? If he had been with friends at the swim club, and in the woods, why did his poor father have to tell cops about the find my phone location?
I just don't understand how these boys could have lost track of him, and then not mentioned it to anyone while his family was frantically searching for him.
The conversations at my house this week are: please don't drink or do drugs. If you break that rule, please call me. No matter what time it is, or how mad you think I will be, just always call me. And be a good friend, look out for your friends, if someone is getting out of control, sick or in trouble, please call me.

My daughter and all of her friends know that I will come get any one or all of them regardless of the situation, no questions asked, just to get them to safety. They know we'll worry about the details later. I never want the fear of how upset I might be deter her or her friends from calling me. I have told them this since middle school and now have had a reason to reiterate.

But if your daughter had been goofing off in the dark woods with her friends and one of the girls had wandered off into the woods to go pee and had drunkenly fallen into a ditch filled with water and drowned....what difference would it make if your daughter then said "Mom we're over at the swim club and we can't find Sara." It would already be too late for Sara.

I'm telling you, this sort of dumb drunken accident can only be prevented by not drinking in the first place.

Are you kidding?
Maybe Sarah would only be injured, not dead, and prompt medical attention could save her.
Maybe her parents would be spared the thought of her lying dead in the woods for hours before being found.
Maybe the daughter would be spared the thought of Sarah lying dead in the woods alone, and wondering if she could have saved her.

Indeed! It's naïve to think that kids aren't going to drink but they need to know there is a rip cord outside of running from the party or thinking they don't need help. Or that the trouble they could get in from parents is worse than death.

[Anonymous]

The friends that were with him are likely extremely upset by all of this. I hope that the attention turns from questioning to helping them work through this and helping to change the way the kids approach these sorts of situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The place where his body was found is not on the way to his house from the 7-11, where he was seen around 11:00, or the party, which broke up around 10:40. I think maybe a group of them went to hang out at the swim club or the woods near the swim club after stopping at the 7-11.

I thought an earlier report said that the kids had been in the woods and lost track of him. Does anyone else remember reading (or seeing) that?

Did they check that he had made it home the next day? What about when his dad started trying to find him, and calling his friends? Did any of these kids say they had been with him in the woods? If he had been with friends at the swim club, and in the woods, why did his poor father have to tell cops about the find my phone location?
I just don't understand how these boys could have lost track of him, and then not mentioned it to anyone while his family was frantically searching for him.
The conversations at my house this week are: please don't drink or do drugs. If you break that rule, please call me. No matter what time it is, or how mad you think I will be, just always call me. And be a good friend, look out for your friends, if someone is getting out of control, sick or in trouble, please call me.

My daughter and all of her friends know that I will come get any one or all of them regardless of the situation, no questions asked, just to get them to safety. They know we'll worry about the details later. I never want the fear of how upset I might be deter her or her friends from calling me. I have told them this since middle school and now have had a reason to reiterate.

But if your daughter had been goofing off in the dark woods with her friends and one of the girls had wandered off into the woods to go pee and had drunkenly fallen into a ditch filled with water and drowned....what difference would it make if your daughter then said "Mom we're over at the swim club and we can't find Sara." It would already be too late for Sara.

I'm telling you, this sort of dumb drunken accident can only be prevented by not drinking in the first place.

Are you kidding?
Maybe Sarah would only be injured, not dead, and prompt medical attention could save her.
Maybe her parents would be spared the thought of her lying dead in the woods for hours before being found.
Maybe the daughter would be spared the thought of Sarah lying dead in the woods alone, and wondering if she could have saved her.

O.k. maybe. I don't see how a drowning could happen that slowly but maybe there was a chance that a search party formed right away could have made a difference.

I just don't think that the boys were thinking that their friend was endangered like that. They were drunk. Maybe if they hadn't been drunk (and hiding in the woods drinking) they would have been quicker to get help.

FWIW, if my son's friends left him alone like that I would be absolutely devastated. If my son had left his friend lost in the woods like that, I would be devastated. It is an extremely sad situation. And, yes, I think those boys will be living with their choices and having nightmares over this for the rest of their lives.

[Anonymous]

If the kids weren't equipped to deal with the aftermath of an underage drinking party and losing track of a friend, they are certainly not equipped for the emotional upheaval experienced now.