Vent about my wedding last weekend...

[Anonymous]

I think OP has a right to celebrate her wedding however she wants to. What's an "American" wedding anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp you quoted!

My grandparent are German, born there, lived there, died there. My parents? German. Born there, still living there. Me? German. Born there, came here 5 years ago, fell in love with the country, the people and it's traditions!!!!! So don't you call me ignorant or selfish.
I'm an immigrant, I decided to live here cause I love it here. But ai know while I can hold on to some German traditions, others I can not.
Sure, I can still celebrate Christmas on the 24th, but can I get angry and call everyone in this country irgnorant, selfish, close-minded and disrespectful when they don't?!!
NO!!

You need to learn a lot and grow up!!!!!

You should take a few more reading classes... It was never said that all Americans are selfish and closed minded. It was said that the rude women in this thread are selfish and close minded. I would add insensitive and mean.
And as an immigrant you should know better than anybody else that there are a few cultures that hold on very tight to their traditions while there are others that don't. Some cultures are very similar to the culture in the US and some are totally different. The ability to blend and change depends not only on the person's culture but also on the person's personality.
It's known that some DCUM users are very rude and have no intent to build and help others. unfortunately OP started her thread on a day that most of them were ready to spread their poison.

[Anonymous]

I understand peole immigrate for many different reasons. But if I wanted to hold onto all my familie and cultural traditions, I pretty sure I would have stayed in my country.

People here are interested in hearing about other countries, but I can't and don't get angry at anyone for not liking, valueing them, or for not following or understanding them. And so can't she.

It's like coming here and refusing to learn English because in your country, the cultur and tradition is speaking a different language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand peole immigrate for many different reasons. But if I wanted to hold onto all my familie and cultural traditions, I pretty sure I would have stayed in my country.

People here are interested in hearing about other countries, but I can't and don't get angry at anyone for not liking, valueing them, or for not following or understanding them. And so can't she.

It's like coming here and refusing to learn English because in your country, the cultur and tradition is speaking a different language.

Are you serious?
OP is not mad because people don't like, value or not follow her tradition. OP is hurt because someone STOLE her bouquet! The conversation only went too far because people here didn't understand the real value of the "bunch of flowers" in OP's culture.
What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

So her telling us that her wedding means more than other people's big "social event" weddings is not dissing other peoples values and traditons?

Am I getting this wrong?

Instead of being that upset about the bouquet, which sucks for her, clearly, she could just look forward to visiting her family and spending quality time with them and maybe make a wedding scap-book to share all those great
memories.

But maybe that's just me.

Things in life just don't always work out the way we want. That's part about growing up and by the tome we marry, we should have learned to deal with disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Re. dealing with wedding disappointments:

I think "no big deal" PPs are forgetting that we have a ginormous and expensive wedding industry here in the US. You may not have tried to carry out an elaborate vision in your own weddings, and maybe no-nonsense Washingtonians do relatively little of this, but it is absolutely unreasonable to say that American weddings are rarely major investments of effort and money. Brides who make these investments are understandably upset when negligent contractors and inconsiderate guests cause problems.

[Anonymous]

But you can't influence what other people do or how they behave, but you can influemce how you react and deal with people.

You can only control youself and your actions. Everything else is outside your powers, even on your wedding day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp you quoted!

My grandparent are German, born there, lived there, died there. My parents? German. Born there, still living there. Me? German. Born there, came here 5 years ago, fell in love with the country, the people and it's traditions!!!!! So don't you call me ignorant or selfish.
I'm an immigrant, I decided to live here cause I love it here. But ai know while I can hold on to some German traditions, others I can not.
Sure, I can still celebrate Christmas on the 24th, but can I get angry and call everyone in this country irgnorant, selfish, close-minded and disrespectful when they don't?!!
NO!!

You need to learn a lot and grow up!!!!!

You should take a few more reading classes... It was never said that all Americans are selfish and closed minded. It was said that the rude women in this thread are selfish and close minded. I would add insensitive and mean.
And as an immigrant you should know better than anybody else that there are a few cultures that hold on very tight to their traditions while there are others that don't. Some cultures are very similar to the culture in the US and some are totally different. The ability to blend and change depends not only on the person's culture but also on the person's personality.
It's known that some DCUM users are very rude and have no intent to build and help others. unfortunately OP started her thread on a day that most of them were ready to spread their poison.

I for one would never have participated in this thread other than to commiserate with the OP if I had not misunderstood the whole to be a joke. But this is not a joke: I find comments like the one in bold to be totally boring and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But you can't influence what other people do or how they behave, but you can influemce how you react and deal with people.

You can only control youself and your actions. Everything else is outside your powers, even on your wedding day.

Graciousness to crappy guests-- yes. Charitably forgiving vendors breaching contracts-- no, not if some costs can be recouped and other customers can be warned away. Hurt feelings and a little bitching afterward-- perfectly reasonable to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But you can't influence what other people do or how they behave, but you can influemce how you react and deal with people.

You can only control youself and your actions. Everything else is outside your powers, even on your wedding day.

Graciousness to crappy guests-- yes. Charitably forgiving vendors breaching contracts-- no, not if some costs can be recouped and other customers can be warned away. Hurt feelings and a little bitching afterward-- perfectly reasonable to me.

HA HA U ROCK!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp you quoted!

My grandparent are German, born there, lived there, died there. My parents? German. Born there, still living there. Me? German. Born there, came here 5 years ago, fell in love with the country, the people and it's traditions!!!!! So don't you call me ignorant or selfish.
I'm an immigrant, I decided to live here cause I love it here. But ai know while I can hold on to some German traditions, others I can not.
Sure, I can still celebrate Christmas on the 24th, but can I get angry and call everyone in this country irgnorant, selfish, close-minded and disrespectful when they don't?!!
NO!!

You need to learn a lot and grow up!!!!!

Fellow German here... so you seriously suggest that someone who wants to have her culture and values respected needs to move back to their own country?! Such nonsense from a fellow immigrant really makes me cringe.

I am by no means a fan of OP, but some of you all blew this way out of proportion DCUM-style. Are you American women seriously telling me unanimously that she should just get over it and that it's no big deal? So many of my American friends planned their wedding like they envisioned it when they were little girls, typically for months and months ahead with lots of money involved. I am very sure they would have been devastated if their bouquet disappeared on their dream day. This isn't so much a cultural thing as it is the sentimental value of it.

Go on arguing about it, I don't care. But please don't make this into a discussion about who gets to stay in the US and who doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Not to have her values respected. Respected without a question.

But to have people value her values and culture, well, who could value them more than people who also grew up with it??

I'm Not saying she shouldn't or can't stay in the US, but if it's that important for her to be with people who have them same values...
Some people just don't care about bouques, some do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to have her values respected. Respected without a question.

But to have people value her values and culture, well, who could value them more than people who also grew up with it??

I'm Not saying she shouldn't or can't stay in the US, but if it's that important for her to be with people who have them same values...
Some people just don't care about bouques, some do.

But just because you don't care about the bouquet does it entitle you to steal the bouquet of someone who cares a lot about it?

[Anonymous]

Of course it doesn't.

Did EVERYONE at the wedding know how much it meant to
her???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn't.

Did EVERYONE at the wedding know how much it meant to
her???

All the 16 ladies knew.