Vent about my wedding last weekend...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- how old are you?

My wedding was certainly not a joke, but I also don't think that every detail-- or even any detail-- was important as long as I came out of it married to the man I love. We planned some things that worked out well, and some that didn't pan out (for instance, we have no pictures because the photographer's camera got lost shortly after).

Weddings-- much like births-- are one day. You have the best intentions for them and they have a way of going off in their own direction. They mean far less than the lives that follow them.

You sound like someone who needs to get perspective about what matters.

I do have sympathy with women who have a real problem. Your problem is a total lack of perspective.

OP again... You should open your mind a little bit. In different cultures the marriage/wedding is a total different event than what it is in the US.
Over here most of people don't understand what an arranged marriage is all about and for that reason you end up not respecting the tradition just as an example. I'm still impressed with the fact that locals have no sympathy or respect for different cultures' traditions even though there are so many immigrants in this area. I thought people would get a little more open minded due to their exposure to the "different". Unfortunately this is not true.
I'm not crying out because the cake was ugly or because the photographer messed up the pictures and humiliated me. A lot of little details went wrong and I don't really care. Those are details and with them or without the wedding would happen anyway.
My pain is because one of the things that really meant something to me in the ceremonial didn't happen as planned. This tradition is held in my family for the past 100+ years and since my parents were not present I held even more value to it. Where I came from we're supposed to have "godparents" to bless our union and to advice the newly wed couple instead of a bridal party (honestly I never understood what a bridal party is for...). I didn't even get a chance to have it since I don't know anybody well enough to delegate such important task for the rest of our lives.
Where I come from the wedding is not a social event like it is here. We have very small and personal weddings with only people that really matter to us. There's no hassle with etiquette like what to say to keep children out of it or how to address the invitations and how to make sure people don't bring "extra" guests. Also our concept or marriage is totally different and I won't even talk about it. I got enough flames already.

Anyway, I only need to vent and I did. Life goes on.

And to the lady that said that the thread was strangely too long I'll tell you one thing:
I'm a teacher and I feel like it's polite to answer all the comments people make about whatever I'm saying so for every comment made about me I took the time to read and answer. When I was learning how to be a teacher a professor once said: Never leave a question/point/comment unanswered. Your job is to explain, to clarify. And I took it for life.
I think that's my main problem.... I should care less. But then I think again and I realize that for caring less we're getting less and less connected to each other. For the same reason we end up hurting people we love and people who have their hands reaching for help.
Honestly, I would rather take the flames and keep caring.

No I didn't need to talk to myself to make it long. Ask our friend Jeff to tell you where the posts came from since he has access to our IP address.

Sorry for the long post.



ps. why do I have to apologize all the time?

You mean we can keep this thread going indefinitely just by asking you questions? Sweet - entertainment for the next six months!

[Anonymous]

Seriously? Since "no big deal" posters were apparently old and crusty enough to roll with wedding punches when they married, shouldn't it also follow that they're mature and resilient enough by now to let this pass? OP, you might prefer to lick your wounds in private, considering that you have some vehemently unsympathetic ears here.

[Anonymous]

OP, I bet a staff member threw out the bouquet when cleaning up and didn't even realize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- how old are you?

My wedding was certainly not a joke, but I also don't think that every detail-- or even any detail-- was important as long as I came out of it married to the man I love. We planned some things that worked out well, and some that didn't pan out (for instance, we have no pictures because the photographer's camera got lost shortly after).

Weddings-- much like births-- are one day. You have the best intentions for them and they have a way of going off in their own direction. They mean far less than the lives that follow them.

You sound like someone who needs to get perspective about what matters.

I do have sympathy with women who have a real problem. Your problem is a total lack of perspective.

OP again... You should open your mind a little bit. In different cultures the marriage/wedding is a total different event than what it is in the US.
Over here most of people don't understand what an arranged marriage is all about and for that reason you end up not respecting the tradition just as an example. I'm still impressed with the fact that locals have no sympathy or respect for different cultures' traditions even though there are so many immigrants in this area. I thought people would get a little more open minded due to their exposure to the "different". Unfortunately this is not true.
I'm not crying out because the cake was ugly or because the photographer messed up the pictures and humiliated me. A lot of little details went wrong and I don't really care. Those are details and with them or without the wedding would happen anyway.
My pain is because one of the things that really meant something to me in the ceremonial didn't happen as planned. This tradition is held in my family for the past 100+ years and since my parents were not present I held even more value to it. Where I came from we're supposed to have "godparents" to bless our union and to advice the newly wed couple instead of a bridal party (honestly I never understood what a bridal party is for...). I didn't even get a chance to have it since I don't know anybody well enough to delegate such important task for the rest of our lives.
Where I come from the wedding is not a social event like it is here. We have very small and personal weddings with only people that really matter to us. There's no hassle with etiquette like what to say to keep children out of it or how to address the invitations and how to make sure people don't bring "extra" guests. Also our concept or marriage is totally different and I won't even talk about it. I got enough flames already.

Anyway, I only need to vent and I did. Life goes on.

And to the lady that said that the thread was strangely too long I'll tell you one thing:
I'm a teacher and I feel like it's polite to answer all the comments people make about whatever I'm saying so for every comment made about me I took the time to read and answer. When I was learning how to be a teacher a professor once said: Never leave a question/point/comment unanswered. Your job is to explain, to clarify. And I took it for life.
I think that's my main problem.... I should care less. But then I think again and I realize that for caring less we're getting less and less connected to each other. For the same reason we end up hurting people we love and people who have their hands reaching for help.
Honestly, I would rather take the flames and keep caring.

No I didn't need to talk to myself to make it long. Ask our friend Jeff to tell you where the posts came from since he has access to our IP address.

Sorry for the long post.



ps. why do I have to apologize all the time?

You mean we can keep this thread going indefinitely just by asking you questions? Sweet - entertainment for the next six months!

Are you an idiot or something? How dare you talk like this even after OP explained so many times how important it was for her? How can one be so cold and selfish? You should be ashamed of yourself to say the least. People like you make me sick to my stomach!

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher and I feel like it's polite to answer all the comments people make about whatever I'm saying so for every comment made about me I took the time to read and answer. When I was learning how to be a teacher a professor once said: Never leave a question/point/comment unanswered.

I've asked several questions that have gone unanswered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a teacher and I feel like it's polite to answer all the comments people make about whatever I'm saying so for every comment made about me I took the time to read and answer. When I was learning how to be a teacher a professor once said: Never leave a question/point/comment unanswered.

I've asked several questions that have gone unanswered.

Sorry but this is an anonymous forum, if you're here to have your questions answered you're better be a little more direct.

[Anonymous]

OP, I've been to about 100 weddings. News flash: not one of them has been perfect! You need to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I've been to about 100 weddings. News flash: not one of them has been perfect! You need to move on.

It's not about being perfect. It's about people respecting one's possessions. Someone stole her bouquet. 100 weddings don't mater when it's about your wedding. You should get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I've been to about 100 weddings. News flash: not one of them has been perfect! You need to move on.

Seemed like she just wanted a place to vent but was ready to move past it. Could be wrong about that, though....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I've been to about 100 weddings. News flash: not one of them has been perfect! You need to move on.

Seemed like she just wanted a place to vent but was ready to move past it. Could be wrong about that, though....

You're right. She said several times that she was waiting for the time to "look back and laugh at it". But DCUmommers don't forgive!

[Anonymous]

Bump!

Mwah ha ha hahhh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bump!

Mwah ha ha hahhh!

Now, if someone could get Confessions started again, THAT would be something.

[Anonymous]

thank you!! thank you, very much!

[Anonymous]

Yes, bring confessions back. I want to learn how one mom ran an 800 phone sex business from home. I need the $.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bump!

Mwah ha ha hahhh!

Ha. Thanks. This thread is hysterical and I needed some good laughs!

So, this is the same OP who started the other thread about being angry at her husband's best friend's wife????