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holding boys back?
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Anonymous
what made it a disaster? is there a remarkable difference this year? |
Anonymous
This is quite possibly the stupidest, most hypocritical piece of tripe I've ever read on DCUM. What a colossal idiot you are! First of all, none of these parents who chose to "red-shirt" their children owe you any kind of an explanation or insight into their decision. Maybe they agonized over it, maybe it was recommended to them by their pediatrician, maybe they actually have serious developmental concerns which they'd like to keep private since it is after all, you know, none of your business you selfish, self-important, nosy pack of hens. But that's not even what bugs me the most about the enormous jack*ssery of your dictatorial ways, no what kills me is the self-righteous hypocrisy which it exhibits and to which you are obviously so blind. Here's a clue: how much sensitivity and regard did you show to the needs of the larger group or community when you chose to buy your house in Fairfax or Arlington "for the schools." Didn't you know that wonderful, dedicated parents such as yourselves are EXACTLY what's missing from the public schools in Wards 7 & 8 in DC? Why should you do what's best for your little precious by putting him in school in Fairfax County? Hey, I don't think you should be allowed to do that, because after all "your child's success will not come at the expense of the success or comfort of others," right? So pull out of Fairfax (or Arlington or MoCo or Ward 3 or private school) and enroll that little darling in DCPS over in Anacostia. And if you're not willing to do that? Then SHUT UP and quit lecturing other parents about how they need to sacrifice their offspring for the sake of yours. Cows. |
Anonymous
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I gotta agree.
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Anonymous
Actually, the relevant analogy would be living in a poorly served neighborhood in DC and lying about your child's address so that he/she could go to school in a better school system. In that case, you'd be bending the rules to benefit your child at the expense of others, which is what parents seeking to redshirt their kids so that the kid isn't the youngest in the class are doing. |
Anonymous
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11/24/08 22:17
I wish I could have said it this well. |
Anonymous
No. This is not the relevant analogy, this is just more rationalization and gasbaggery on your part. Lying about your address in order that your child may go to a better school is not "bending the rules" it is BREAKING the rules. The rules are pretty clear about what your home school is, how the OOB lottery works, and how to apply for charters. So let's be clear about that, and if you're not? Look it up on DCPS's website. Furthermore, the parents seeking to red-shirt their kids are not breaking the rules, nor are they even bending the rules. The are following the rules. You just don't happen to like the rules which allow them to prioritize their child's interest when it comes to (gasp!) their child's education. You seem to think that they should prioritize YOUR interests and YOUR CHILD'S interests when it comes to THEIR child's education. If you can't see how incredibly selfish and entitled you are then you're blind, but here's a hint: if you want other people to sacrifice their children for your child's advantage then I say "Lead by Example!" Finally, they may have any number of reason why they want to red-shirt their child and NONE of them are YOUR business. Those reasons may be serious and/or they may be frivolous - it doesn't matter. YOU are not the judge. Get OVER yourself already and if you honestly think your prying into other people's private affairs is acceptable parenting then for the love of God STOP BREEDING! |
Anonymous
| To the mother asking about her August Boy--- when you do tours, all the birthdates are up in the classroom. There were no boys that young enrolled in K in any of the schools you mentioned. For GDS, it's after the official deadline, for the other two, it's after the unofficial deadline-- he will NOT be admitted if you apply when he's 5. |
Anonymous
He went from a very confident and self-assured child to a very insecure child who had no confidence in his abilities. So the social aspects of the situation created *academic* issues that didn't otherwise exist. He became stressed, which manifest itself in lots of ways -- bed and daytime wetting that wasn't there before, sensoring his comments in the classroom (normally very outspoken, but became reserved/introverted/quiet), at home he cried/talked about not being able to do things that his peers could do (which was really his perception of what peers could not do, versus what they *actually* could do). We even had a few episodes of night terrors. Granted, not every child is going to react this way. Just providing what happened to us. The second year of K was remarkably different. We got our old kid back. He's super confident, and probably one of the most popular kids across his grade. We've had no problems academically. He's not bored. Some topics he's advanced in. Some topics he's right at grade level. I wish we had made the right decision before sending him to K the first time. That was a painful year to watch. But you just never know how these things work out, as it's not at all crystal clear as you're making these decisions. Some kids will rise to the occasion, and others may have a disaster year. Sometimes you see it immediately, and other times you may not see it until much later. It was an informed and good decision for us to have him repeat K. |
Anonymous
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I don't blame the "younger" child for feeling insecure when he was in Kindergarten doing Kindergarten work while his peers were first graders doing Kindergarten work.
And we wonder why our kids are failing internationally? |
Anonymous
This makes no sense. Whether you hold him back or not, a boy with an August birthday will still have his birthday in August and his birthday will be up on the "birthday board" in the classroom, which doesn't show whether a kid just turned 5, or 6. Maybe you just saw classrooms where no boys had August birthdays. |
Anonymous
| I'm the mom of the August boy. Thanks for the helpful information. Though I truly do find the whole discussion about the merits or damage caused by "redshirting" interesting, that's exactly the kind of practical advice I was looking for. I doubt it matters that much, maybe it will be nice for him to just be one grade above his June-birthday sister than 2 grades... I just want to do what everyone else similarly situated is doing because I figure all that matters is that he is close in age to his particular class. I don't want to do anything "special" for him, just what the school thinks is best. Interested point about the birthdays on the wall- maybe they had the year, too? |
Anonymous
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I hate, hate, hate it when parents so smugly judge me for holding back my son with an August birthday. And now you compare us to cheaters and rule breakers. You truly have no idea what his circumstances are. You just think you know everything based on your own child. The only child for whom you have expertise is your own; you have absolutely no understanding of mine. I am not seeking any kind of advantage, trust me. I want my son to happy and secure.
A little humility and understanding, please. I would like to live in a world where we support each other's children. |
Anonymous
| I am not sure why people think that parents hold their sons back a year to gain some kind of advantage over the other kids who weren't held back. I am considering holding my son back and it really never occurred to me to do it so he could have an advantage over other kids. I would do it for HIM. I couldn't care less about the future kids in his class (whom I have never met). I know he is immature for his age and has trouble doing all of the things expected in K these days (ie sitting still and paying attention for long periods of time). I don't want him to go to K and feel like a failure b/c he can't do what is expected of him. Just b/c he will be 5 yrs old like the other kids in the class doesn't mean he is developmentally ready for the challenges of today's K (that should be a whole other thread!). |
Anonymous
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On the other hand, you sometimes see posts like the one below (from another thread) that emphasize the advantage of being older as opposed to the readiness of the child:
"Our daughter (now in 8th grade) is one of the oldest in her class. We agonized over this decision. I have never regretted her being the oldest; she is a leader in the class and has more self-confidence than I've ever had. Her younger sister is one of the youngest in her class, and sometimes struggles with standing up for herself. Being older is MUCH better, in my opinion." http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/33467.page |
Anonymous
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"I am not sure why people think that parents hold their sons back a year to gain some kind of advantage over the other kids who weren't held back.'
Well this is what you are doing even by your own description within your post. You don't want your child to struggle or do poorly or feel like the last one picked. Understandable...but by red shirting him you are leaving that position to another child and raising the bar so to speak for the class by enrolling a child a year older than the other children. Someone needs to be the youngest and no one it seems wants that to be their child. You can't really blame the parents who do not red shirt and now have a little guy trying to stand up to a six year old in his class for being a tad judgemental about you. |