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holding boys back?
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Anonymous
I concur that these diagnoses are the "new thing". When our son was 3, his teacher recommended he have OT testing and felt that he was "sensation-seeking", had a "floppy walk" and a bunch of other jargon. We took him to an OT recommended by the school who put him through a battery of tests. Guess what? No sensory issues/no need for OT. They also were concerned he had speech delays/language issues. Again, we took him for testing and again, he tested normal. We indeed were dubious of what the school was saying because, outside of school, our son was quite talkative, generally focused etc etc. On the one hand, we appreciated the preschool's proactiveness. On the other hand, it shows a growing problem -- in the name of high expectations, schools may be setting the bar too high for young kids, especially boys. Our son has an early summer b-day and it would've been easy to hold him back - but we're not |
Anonymous
| For anyone who has held their child back, what do you do for the extra year? I'd definitely prefer not to repeat the same year at preschool. We are planning to do public school starting in Kindergarten and I'd prefer not to have to deal with the private school application process for just a year (especially knowing it's a long shot to get into most places anyway). Any other pre-k type options that people recommend? We are in Bethesda, but NW DC would work as well. Thanks! |
Anonymous
| We put our daughter in another preschool that had a "kindergarten" class. Most of the kids were summer birthday kids, so the class was older than the typical last preschool-year class. |
Anonymous
| I was completely unaware of this thread before today. Not to flog a dead horse, but i have a late summer birthday boy whom I was planning to hold back a year on the advice of his preschool, but now I am worried all over again about my decision. He is very smart but shy. I am not planning JUST for kindergarten but for his whole K-12 years. I don't want him bored academically or uncomfortable socially. what a dilemma. |
Anonymous
| Late summer is not the issue. It is where boys have April, February and yes December of "the year before" where this comes into play. |
Anonymous
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I was shy all through high school. I wish people wouldn't look at it as some sort of shortcoming that kids should grow out of. Does his shyness bother him, or just you?
I am writing fast and I think this is coming off obnoxious (past the shyness, I guess). I don't mean it that way, and I don't mean to tell you what to do. But shy is OK -- I wouldn't keep a kid out of school just for beign shy. But maybe the shyness is part of a larger trait -- general social difficulties? |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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The irony about the "parents should be entitled to do what's best for *their* child" argument is that I have a Sept. b-day in a system with a 9/1 cut-off. My feeling is she does not belong in kindergarten when she is basically 6. I feel like it would be best for my child for her to start school at 5 (minus 1 week).
BUT the legal hoops to do this are *immense* bordering on impossible notwithstanding that just a year or two ago she would have been in kindergarten! So *I'm* not allowed to do what I believe is "best" for my child. In my view both directions should have some significant hoops to jump through to protect the whole class from both "gaming" redshirts as well as from some deluded pushy parent forcing in a younger child who doesn't belong there. Both would negatively impact the class in my view but the protection is currently only against the latter (and ironically much more rare) situation. It is appropriate that anyone like me who wants an exception made to the cut off date *should* have to prove their case (I do, however, think the bar by most systems has been set ridiculously high and some school states literally have a "state law/no exceptions" policy). So I blame the school systems for this entire situation as the policies they are setting are skewed -- ultra-firm cut-off dates for admission and ultra-loose standards for hold-backs. I'd have to give more thought as to exactly why, but I suspect the earlier cut off date game the school systems themselves have been playing the last few years is what started this whole snowball rolling. For what it's worth I have a pre-school son with August b-day. He is tiny and unathletic to the point of comedy, but emotionally mature and appears he will be fine academically. But I've already decided that based on what I know now I'm going to go ahead and send him to K on time (barring some additional info, e.g., his pre-K teachers telling me "no way" or such). Everyone I know -- everyone -- has told me I am crazy to even be considering doing this -- so I think the redshirting groupthink has taken hold. |
Anonymous
I wish I could agree with this. I want to keep my late Aug. B-day kid home an extra year on the advice of his teacher, but have MANY friends who think he should go to Kindergarden at 5 (now) -- even ones who went to school early themselves, turned 18 their freshman year of college and think it was a mistake for them. It's really hard to know what is right for an individual child and what their adolescence will be like. THAT is what I am trying to do the right thing by him for -- not whether or not he should be in Kindergarden at 5 or be better at sports, but whether he should still feel like a child when his peers are experimenting with smoking or worse, interested in the opposite sex, etc. |
Anonymous
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I turned 18 two weeks before I started college.
To be honest, before I read about this on DCUM, I never even thought for a moment about how my age compared to those in my school. There were kids with birthdays spread out throughout the calendar. |
Anonymous
| I'm bumping this old post, not to prompt further discussion on the practice in general, but because I'm curious what will happen in my particular case. Son has mid-Aug birthday. I think he's pretty smart, np "issues" etc, he gets stellar reports from his great preschool. I'm planning to apply to Sidwell and Maret (maybe GDS) for K. (He's still 3 so I have at least a year to think about this.) Would he be better equipped for admission to begin K at those schools at just-turned-5 or just-turned-6? I don't really care, can see the merits of both arguments and he's so close anyway. I love his current preschool and would love to keep him there longer, though I think he'd be ready "on time"... I don't want to hurt his chances of admission because he's too young, too old, etc. and I need to pay attention to making sure I'm applying at the right expansion years. |
Anonymous
Not a private school parent, but from what I recall from reading about this issue, the private schools almost invariably require boys with summer birthdays to be 6 before they start kindergarten. |
Anonymous
| i don't have a problem with my son being the youngest by 10 months to a year but the problem is that many people hold their sons back even with may and june b-days which means their son will be a good year and a half older than my son and that is a problem when they are going through puberty before him etc... they now have created a problem for people like me who now are put in the situation of making this stressful decision which some people tell me really can affect them...ugh |
Anonymous
| We were in a school that started at Pre-K. The school recommended that our summer b-day boy move on to K (after spending a year in the Pre-K program). It was a disaster, and we (parents) knew it was a mistake after the first 6 weeks of K. DS muddled through the rest of the school year, but we (parents, not the school) decided to have him repeat K. |