Son was called a monkey by a Hispanic child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read this whole thread. Just wanted to ask: so it is NEVER ok to call a black kid a monkey? Intent does not matter at all??

Does that not seem silly to you? I mean, if a 3 year old sees a black kid hanging off the monkey bars and calls him a monkey, that is racist, even though said 3 year old would have called anyone in that context a monkey and clearly meant it in a cute/endearing way?

Yep, it is never ok.

And we know that kids or people in general do not go around calling each other monkey in the U.S., it is just not done, and yes all you moms are not calling your kids monkey.

What?!? I’m white and call my white kids monkeys all the time. Monkey is a super common term for a kid. “Stop monkeying around” is a popular phrase even. Do black parents just not use that phrase?

And if you aren’t using common animals like monkeys you’re letting the racists win. I’ll say the elephant into the room- black people don’t look like monkeys.

As someone who is multilingual and from an immigrant family I promise this is also international. Every language I have ever heard anyone parent in, they call their kids monkeys. Very confused by whoever is trying to deny the obvious.

It's also very international and multilingual to use monkey as a slur for black people. Very confused why you're trying to deny the obvious.

Nah, I’m not going to change because you want me to walk on eggshells. I love my cute little monkeys! I will continue to call them that. Go be offended somewhere else.

Ah, and I call my youngest one “my little chicken” - is that sexist because some people refer to women and chicks? No. It’s not. Get over yourself.

Calling a black person a monkey, is a slur, at all times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

It doesn't f* matter. The OP's child should not be exposed to racism because of whatever bs Latino sensitivity. It's ALL about OP and their child feelings.

Yes it matters. It matters because you’re assuming that the child has racist intent and there’s no evidence of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

It doesn't f* matter. The OP's child should not be exposed to racism because of whatever bs Latino sensitivity. It's ALL about OP and their child feelings.

You’re f- cultural sensitivity and understanding - it’s al me me me me me. Amirite

Yeah it is important to be aware of and sensitive to Amrican culture, since we are in the U.S., and it the U.S. calling black people monkeys is racist. Just because someone chooses ro immigrate here doesn't mean I am beholden to the nuances of their culture in day to day life. I didn't ask them to come here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

It doesn't f* matter. The OP's child should not be exposed to racism because of whatever bs Latino sensitivity. It's ALL about OP and their child feelings.

Yes it matters. It matters because you’re assuming that the child has racist intent and there’s no evidence of that.

That is not the OPs concern--a racist statement was made and it has to be dealt with. This is why words matter. I can say to a loved one "I hate you" but then just turn around and say I didn't mean it, no, it doesn't work that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

It doesn't f* matter. The OP's child should not be exposed to racism because of whatever bs Latino sensitivity. It's ALL about OP and their child feelings.

Yes it matters. It matters because you’re assuming that the child has racist intent and there’s no evidence of that.

That is not the OPs concern--a racist statement was made and it has to be dealt with. This is why words matter. I can say to a loved one "I hate you" but then just turn around and say I didn't mean it, no, it doesn't work that way.

Have you never heard two teens laugh at each other with one saying, "Oh my god, I hate you!" In that context, hate means love.

I agree that OP should let the school know, and that the school should teach the 9yo. However, we have to stop assuming we know everything about what other people think and mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

It doesn't f* matter. The OP's child should not be exposed to racism because of whatever bs Latino sensitivity. It's ALL about OP and their child feelings.

Yes it matters. It matters because you’re assuming that the child has racist intent and there’s no evidence of that.

That is not the OPs concern--a racist statement was made and it has to be dealt with. This is why words matter. I can say to a loved one "I hate you" but then just turn around and say I didn't mean it, no, it doesn't work that way.

Have you never heard two teens laugh at each other with one saying, "Oh my god, I hate you!" In that context, hate means love.

I agree that OP should let the school know, and that the school should teach the 9yo. However, we have to stop assuming we know everything about what other people think and mean.

Taking action on the use of slurs does not mean the bolded, so you instruction to us is irrelevant. Words have consequences.

[Anonymous]

I was my dad's "little monkey."

Not everything is racism!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

It doesn't f* matter. The OP's child should not be exposed to racism because of whatever bs Latino sensitivity. It's ALL about OP and their child feelings.

Yes it matters. It matters because you’re assuming that the child has racist intent and there’s no evidence of that.

That is not the OPs concern--a racist statement was made and it has to be dealt with. This is why words matter. I can say to a loved one "I hate you" but then just turn around and say I didn't mean it, no, it doesn't work that way.

Have you never heard two teens laugh at each other with one saying, "Oh my god, I hate you!" In that context, hate means love.

I agree that OP should let the school know, and that the school should teach the 9yo. However, we have to stop assuming we know everything about what other people think and mean.

Taking action on the use of slurs does not mean the bolded, so you instruction to us is irrelevant. Words have consequences.

Yes but if you give the teen who says, “oh my god I hate you!” A lecture on how “I hate you” is a terrible thing to say, when both teens know “hate” in that context means “love,” you will be tuned out. That will be your consequence.

No one person decides the consequences. Many times, they’re natural. People’s frustrations, including yours, stem from not being able to control them.

[Anonymous]

The child may not have meant it as a racial slur.

I didn't know it was considered a racial slur until I was in my 20s, it just missed me somehow.

Children need to be given grace and an opportunity to learn. That is what you can tell your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure how to say this in an inoffensive way but I’ll try . . .

It could very well be a cultural thing without any ill intent. Latinos simply do not have the same, shall we say, sensitivities when it comes to these kinds of things. They will refer to others in Spanish by references to race, weight, and other physical attributes and mean nothing of it. If your eyes are even slightly slanted, for example, your nickname will often be “Chino.” I could go on.

All I’m saying is that you really shouldn’t place much stock in what a 9 or 10 year old Salvadoran kid might say. It’s just a different way of thinking than native born Americans are accustomed to.

Yes, imported racism and colorism? Why does that fact that a Latino is being racist make it ok, just because as you say, it is part of their culture?

I’m not going to argue with you about this. I’m merely stating a fact about Latino culture from someone who knows it well. My point stands: there’s a different level of sensitivity in Latino culture when it comes to these things, and it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a more racist or colorist culture in the pejorative sense.

It doesn't f* matter. The OP's child should not be exposed to racism because of whatever bs Latino sensitivity. It's ALL about OP and their child feelings.

Yes it matters. It matters because you’re assuming that the child has racist intent and there’s no evidence of that.

That is not the OPs concern--a racist statement was made and it has to be dealt with. This is why words matter. I can say to a loved one "I hate you" but then just turn around and say I didn't mean it, no, it doesn't work that way.

Have you never heard two teens laugh at each other with one saying, "Oh my god, I hate you!" In that context, hate means love.

I agree that OP should let the school know, and that the school should teach the 9yo. However, we have to stop assuming we know everything about what other people think and mean.

Taking action on the use of slurs does not mean the bolded, so you instruction to us is irrelevant. Words have consequences.

Yes but if you give the teen who says, “oh my god I hate you!” A lecture on how “I hate you” is a terrible thing to say, when both teens know “hate” in that context means “love,” you will be tuned out. That will be your consequence.

No one person decides the consequences. Many times, they’re natural. People’s frustrations, including yours, stem from not being able to control them.

We are not talking about "oh my god I hate you!. I haven't given thought to that scenario you presented. We are talking about OPs situation. I am not frustrated by the way. I am not seeking to control anything by the way. Suggesting that OP report incident is not me being "frustrated" or controlling. You really don't get that people here do not have to say "oh ok!" just because you say "don't report".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was my dad's "little monkey."

Not everything is racism!

Calling a black person a monkey is always racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The child may not have meant it as a racial slur.

I didn't know it was considered a racial slur until I was in my 20s, it just missed me somehow.

Children need to be given grace and an opportunity to learn. That is what you can tell your son.

Raise you hand if as a black child in a majority white school you were subject to racially charged comments and slurs in 4th grade (9 years olds)

[Anonymous]

A few other rude and racist slurs

Calling a White person a Cracker or a
Latino a Spic

Stop playing DUMB yallllll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say that "mono" in El Salvador is also used to refer to a mischievous kid even though the direct translation is monkey. This is specific to El Salvador as, actually, "mono" has other nickname-esque associations in other Spanish speaking countries (e.g., cute in Spain). So there is *some* chance this was an honest non-racist mistake.

It also means blondie in Colombia.

It is never ok to call a black person a monkey.

Where did I say that? Calm down Jennifer.

Ha ha ha! What a microaggresion, so timely.

FFS - telling you to calm down when you are posting the same comment to every reply regardless of context. Grow up.

The context doesn't matter. You really think that there are some who are just so emotional and immature that they just can't grasp your wisdom, so you need to scold them to "calm down" and "grow up"! No, your point is clear, you are just incorrect.

Wow, you really need to talk to a professional or maybe go for a walk. It is a beautiful day.

So people who don't agree with you:
1) are the opposite of calm
2) immature
3) mentally ill
4) deprived of nature

Let's see what you add to the list in your response to this.

Dude. You’re spiraling! You’re all in a fit because I said “mono” means blondie in Colombia. You’re that crazy lady yelling at birds now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say that "mono" in El Salvador is also used to refer to a mischievous kid even though the direct translation is monkey. This is specific to El Salvador as, actually, "mono" has other nickname-esque associations in other Spanish speaking countries (e.g., cute in Spain). So there is *some* chance this was an honest non-racist mistake.

It also means blondie in Colombia.

It is never ok to call a black person a monkey.

Where did I say that? Calm down Jennifer.

Ha ha ha! What a microaggresion, so timely.

FFS - telling you to calm down when you are posting the same comment to every reply regardless of context. Grow up.

The context doesn't matter. You really think that there are some who are just so emotional and immature that they just can't grasp your wisdom, so you need to scold them to "calm down" and "grow up"! No, your point is clear, you are just incorrect.

Wow, you really need to talk to a professional or maybe go for a walk. It is a beautiful day.

So people who don't agree with you:
1) are the opposite of calm
2) immature
3) mentally ill
4) deprived of nature

Let's see what you add to the list in your response to this.

Dude. You’re spiraling! You’re all in a fit because I said “mono” means blondie in Colombia. You’re that crazy lady yelling at birds now!

I am in a perfectly calm mood. All in my right mind. Not in a fit.

Glad this has all been clarified.

And oh, it is never ok to call a black person monkey. OP should report to teacher or school office.