Enough is enough with the redshirting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two ten year olds in my child’s third grade class. When will a school draw a line with this?

So they'd have Oct-Dec birthday in 2014? That's 11-9 months older than the oldest regular 3rd grader. My son had one in his class, the kid was fine except a little better at sports/leadership esp during recess, which was the daily social life of DS. But I think if they misbehave, they'd misbehave even without being redshirted.

Yes. This is OP. We expected summer redshirts but we did not expect this. It’s gotten so out of hand.

Why is it “getting” out of hand? It’s 3rd grade now. Haven’t the peers stayed the same since kindergarten? Either change schools or make the best of it. Are you also the poster constantly agitating about the basketball team that is by grade and is a constant source of frustration for you?

We have room for everyone on our schools sports team because it’s no cut but it is by grade so the oldest kids tend to be best. Which is fine, just annoying. They definitely let everyone know they are better too. It’s all fine, I would just describe it as annoying since many people use it as a tool to have an advantage in team sports and don’t really have a reason.

Here’s a hot take on the sports advantage issue: if having a few older kids on the team makes a big difference to whether or not your kid plays, your kid isn’t that good anyway, so who cares?

It’s not a few, it’s half. I said that in an earliest post. Half are a year older so the younger kid has to be better than kids older to play. Your comment is rude and it’s actually just wrong.

This whole thread is rude and reeks of sour grapes. Bunch of bored moms acting like their kids’ elementary schools are some sort of Battle Royale.

Some kids are naturally smarter, is that fair to the dumber kids? Some kids are more athletic, is that fair to the awkward kids? Some kids are really good looking, is that fair to the non-looker kids?

Life isn’t fair. Other families decisions about when to send their kid to school doesn’t *actually* affect your kid. You’re just ridiculously competitive.

(And no, none of my kids were redshirted or otherwise held back.)

It’s not sour grapes or whining about unfairness. It’s more of an awareness of how much kids who are the wrong age for a grade can affect the dynamic of the grade and the classroom.

For example, my 4th grade DD has 5+ classmates turning 11 in the next 3 months. One is a competitive swimmer but has poisoned conversations with her classmates and with other families by constantly bragging about how much faster she is (as she should be!) and about the events she does that other kids can’t do (because they are in younger age groups and can’t swim those events yet). Another has parents who are constantly complaining about the offerings not meeting his advanced academic needs, which made everyone else paranoid about the curriculum and created a ton of second-guessing of teachers and school leadership. And so on. From a developmental and social perspective, I can see that it will be harder in 5th and 6th grade before it gets easier- having 12 or 13 year olds in school social settings with 10 and 11 year olds isn’t healthy.

It doesn’t directly affect my child’s access to resources, but it certainly poisons the well.

'

Consider the possibility that the competitive swimmer braggart would be like that regardless of whether or not she was old for grade (and is also secretly embarrassed about her age and covering for it with her bragging) and it is all about her personality and not about the fact that she is old.

And as far as it getting easier, parents often come on DCUM and darkly warn about 19 year olds being in high school with 14 year olds and how weird/wrong that can quickly get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody here understands that current third graders were the first grade to start in person after Covid. This grade has a lot of kids whose parents waited a year to start them in Kindergarten SOLELY because they didn't want to do Virtual K. This is NOT REDSHIRTING. It's Covid-related delayed start. Yes, it still sucks and those parents are stupid and could have just started their kids in 1st grade, but it is happening, nobody is lying. Please stop telling us we're lying, you're just stupid.

Since we all have elementary kids around that age, we actually all understand that. I also have a current 5th grader who basically missed kindergarten and 1st grade to virtual school. I know a couple 2015s who were summer birthdays redshirted to avoid virutal K. We get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two ten year olds in my child’s third grade class. When will a school draw a line with this?

So they'd have Oct-Dec birthday in 2014? That's 11-9 months older than the oldest regular 3rd grader. My son had one in his class, the kid was fine except a little better at sports/leadership esp during recess, which was the daily social life of DS. But I think if they misbehave, they'd misbehave even without being redshirted.

Yes. This is OP. We expected summer redshirts but we did not expect this. It’s gotten so out of hand.

Why is it “getting” out of hand? It’s 3rd grade now. Haven’t the peers stayed the same since kindergarten? Either change schools or make the best of it. Are you also the poster constantly agitating about the basketball team that is by grade and is a constant source of frustration for you?

We have room for everyone on our schools sports team because it’s no cut but it is by grade so the oldest kids tend to be best. Which is fine, just annoying. They definitely let everyone know they are better too. It’s all fine, I would just describe it as annoying since many people use it as a tool to have an advantage in team sports and don’t really have a reason.

Here’s a hot take on the sports advantage issue: if having a few older kids on the team makes a big difference to whether or not your kid plays, your kid isn’t that good anyway, so who cares?

It’s not a few, it’s half. I said that in an earliest post. Half are a year older so the younger kid has to be better than kids older to play. Your comment is rude and it’s actually just wrong.

This whole thread is rude and reeks of sour grapes. Bunch of bored moms acting like their kids’ elementary schools are some sort of Battle Royale.

Some kids are naturally smarter, is that fair to the dumber kids? Some kids are more athletic, is that fair to the awkward kids? Some kids are really good looking, is that fair to the non-looker kids?

Life isn’t fair. Other families decisions about when to send their kid to school doesn’t *actually* affect your kid. You’re just ridiculously competitive.

(And no, none of my kids were redshirted or otherwise held back.)

It’s not sour grapes or whining about unfairness. It’s more of an awareness of how much kids who are the wrong age for a grade can affect the dynamic of the grade and the classroom.

For example, my 4th grade DD has 5+ classmates turning 11 in the next 3 months. One is a competitive swimmer but has poisoned conversations with her classmates and with other families by constantly bragging about how much faster she is (as she should be!) and about the events she does that other kids can’t do (because they are in younger age groups and can’t swim those events yet). Another has parents who are constantly complaining about the offerings not meeting his advanced academic needs, which made everyone else paranoid about the curriculum and created a ton of second-guessing of teachers and school leadership. And so on. From a developmental and social perspective, I can see that it will be harder in 5th and 6th grade before it gets easier- having 12 or 13 year olds in school social settings with 10 and 11 year olds isn’t healthy.

It doesn’t directly affect my child’s access to resources, but it certainly poisons the well.

'

Consider the possibility that the competitive swimmer braggart would be like that regardless of whether or not she was old for grade (and is also secretly embarrassed about her age and covering for it with her bragging) and it is all about her personality and not about the fact that she is old.

And as far as it getting easier, parents often come on DCUM and darkly warn about 19 year olds being in high school with 14 year olds and how weird/wrong that can quickly get.

Right, as I recall the DCUM anti-redshirt obsessives regularly tell us dark, tortured stories about what happens in high school with redshirting. My youngest is nearly all the way through high school as a youngest for grade, and I am still waiting for the dystopian hellscape caused by his redshirted peers to open up. I’m sure it will happen any day now. Hasn’t yet (in fact DC is good friends with a few redshirted kids) but I’m sure it will be real soon now. Looking forward to seeing it, actually, after all the dark tales.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Wow, this thread grew fast. I assume the crazy anti-redshirters are frothing again? I don’t have the energy to wade through it.

OP: This is not a serious issue, speaking as a parent of teens and young adults. I did not redshirt. In fact one of my kids is a young spring birthday and has often been the youngest or close to it. I read the absolute meltdowns about redshirting from anti-redshirting posters and understand why kids have no resiliency these days — their parents can’t model it. Crazy, sad people.

OPs kid has suffered not at all as she will be quick to tell you not so humbly. He is in gifted, plays a year up in some sport, super popular, no challenges, yet, she just can’t get past the birthdays of a few classmates for no particular reason. This is her hobby in life, to perseverate on a non issue because she thinks someone else is getting something she’s not. Then she whines about “advantages” as she pays another month of tuition at her posh private school.

Wait, OP is one of the crazy anti-redshirters who doesn’t understand how private school admissions work at an extremely basic level? Hahahahahahaha. The stereotypes just write themselves.

I love the DCUM anti-redshirt threads because the absolute crazy of the anti-redshirters comes out every single time. They can’t keep a lid on it.

I’m the OP and see nothing wrong with red shirting summer. We considered it and the school themselves told us to send him at the same time they were telling others to hold . I said it was out of hand for people to redshirt kids who were already born in the first month of a school year, creating a 23 month gap with someone on the young end, mentioning the two 10 year olds in 3rd in my son’s class. No kids ever really ready for Kinder. I don’t know what people expect their child to be doing to be ready for this grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Wow, this thread grew fast. I assume the crazy anti-redshirters are frothing again? I don’t have the energy to wade through it.

OP: This is not a serious issue, speaking as a parent of teens and young adults. I did not redshirt. In fact one of my kids is a young spring birthday and has often been the youngest or close to it. I read the absolute meltdowns about redshirting from anti-redshirting posters and understand why kids have no resiliency these days — their parents can’t model it. Crazy, sad people.

OPs kid has suffered not at all as she will be quick to tell you not so humbly. He is in gifted, plays a year up in some sport, super popular, no challenges, yet, she just can’t get past the birthdays of a few classmates for no particular reason. This is her hobby in life, to perseverate on a non issue because she thinks someone else is getting something she’s not. Then she whines about “advantages” as she pays another month of tuition at her posh private school.

Wait, OP is one of the crazy anti-redshirters who doesn’t understand how private school admissions work at an extremely basic level? Hahahahahahaha. The stereotypes just write themselves.

I love the DCUM anti-redshirt threads because the absolute crazy of the anti-redshirters comes out every single time. They can’t keep a lid on it.

OP stays at this school year after year, knowing full well what she was getting into, yet changes nothing about her circumstances. This could easily be avoided by changing schools or *gasp* going to a public. But, no, whining about the supposed disadvantages to other kids, not her own precious, is how she fills her time.

[Anonymous]

If you didn’t redshirt in K then what are you supposed to do if you decide they would benefit later on? Hold them back? Is that even allowed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Wow, this thread grew fast. I assume the crazy anti-redshirters are frothing again? I don’t have the energy to wade through it.

OP: This is not a serious issue, speaking as a parent of teens and young adults. I did not redshirt. In fact one of my kids is a young spring birthday and has often been the youngest or close to it. I read the absolute meltdowns about redshirting from anti-redshirting posters and understand why kids have no resiliency these days — their parents can’t model it. Crazy, sad people.

OPs kid has suffered not at all as she will be quick to tell you not so humbly. He is in gifted, plays a year up in some sport, super popular, no challenges, yet, she just can’t get past the birthdays of a few classmates for no particular reason. This is her hobby in life, to perseverate on a non issue because she thinks someone else is getting something she’s not. Then she whines about “advantages” as she pays another month of tuition at her posh private school.

Wait, OP is one of the crazy anti-redshirters who doesn’t understand how private school admissions work at an extremely basic level? Hahahahahahaha. The stereotypes just write themselves.

I love the DCUM anti-redshirt threads because the absolute crazy of the anti-redshirters comes out every single time. They can’t keep a lid on it.

I’m the OP and see nothing wrong with red shirting summer. We considered it and the school themselves told us to send him at the same time they were telling others to hold . I said it was out of hand for people to redshirt kids who were already born in the first month of a school year, creating a 23 month gap with someone on the young end, mentioning the two 10 year olds in 3rd in my son’s class. No kids ever really ready for Kinder. I don’t know what people expect their child to be doing to be ready for this grade.

Hahaha this is gold. The private school, the demands that a private school follow your preferred admissions strategy, the whining, the entitlement, it is all just a perfect chef’s kiss of a post. Love it.

DCUM anti-redshirters are continually some of the best entertainment this board has to offer. Please please please never stop posting.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible that these kids have had to repeat grades due to intellectual challenges?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Wow, this thread grew fast. I assume the crazy anti-redshirters are frothing again? I don’t have the energy to wade through it.

OP: This is not a serious issue, speaking as a parent of teens and young adults. I did not redshirt. In fact one of my kids is a young spring birthday and has often been the youngest or close to it. I read the absolute meltdowns about redshirting from anti-redshirting posters and understand why kids have no resiliency these days — their parents can’t model it. Crazy, sad people.

OPs kid has suffered not at all as she will be quick to tell you not so humbly. He is in gifted, plays a year up in some sport, super popular, no challenges, yet, she just can’t get past the birthdays of a few classmates for no particular reason. This is her hobby in life, to perseverate on a non issue because she thinks someone else is getting something she’s not. Then she whines about “advantages” as she pays another month of tuition at her posh private school.

Wait, OP is one of the crazy anti-redshirters who doesn’t understand how private school admissions work at an extremely basic level? Hahahahahahaha. The stereotypes just write themselves.

I love the DCUM anti-redshirt threads because the absolute crazy of the anti-redshirters comes out every single time. They can’t keep a lid on it.

I’m the OP and see nothing wrong with red shirting summer. We considered it and the school themselves told us to send him at the same time they were telling others to hold . I said it was out of hand for people to redshirt kids who were already born in the first month of a school year, creating a 23 month gap with someone on the young end, mentioning the two 10 year olds in 3rd in my son’s class. No kids ever really ready for Kinder. I don’t know what people expect their child to be doing to be ready for this grade.

Hahaha this is gold. The private school, the demands that a private school follow your preferred admissions strategy, the whining, the entitlement, it is all just a perfect chef’s kiss of a post. Love it.

DCUM anti-redshirters are continually some of the best entertainment this board has to offer. Please please please never stop posting.

OP probably wears a big fake smile at all the school events having to mix and mingle with these horrible redshirting parents then comes here to gossip and trash them expecting commiseration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As some have mentioned earlier there should be a nationwide birthday cutoff (August or Sept 1st) and redshirting would only be allowed if a documented developmental delay is shown.

Also, if you transfer from a private then for K-2 you go into the grade you are aged for to avoid those who want to exploit the system that way.

That is true equity.

But I'm sure all the wealthy parents on here would bemoan the chance to game the system and get their neurotypical children ahead.

Call your member of Congress, then.
See how much traction this gets. Parents really love being forced to make suboptimal choices for their kids.

In the meantime no one is exploiting the system if they’re following the rules.

Kids should be in school by six. Other than that it’s nobody’s business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Wow, this thread grew fast. I assume the crazy anti-redshirters are frothing again? I don’t have the energy to wade through it.

OP: This is not a serious issue, speaking as a parent of teens and young adults. I did not redshirt. In fact one of my kids is a young spring birthday and has often been the youngest or close to it. I read the absolute meltdowns about redshirting from anti-redshirting posters and understand why kids have no resiliency these days — their parents can’t model it. Crazy, sad people.

OPs kid has suffered not at all as she will be quick to tell you not so humbly. He is in gifted, plays a year up in some sport, super popular, no challenges, yet, she just can’t get past the birthdays of a few classmates for no particular reason. This is her hobby in life, to perseverate on a non issue because she thinks someone else is getting something she’s not. Then she whines about “advantages” as she pays another month of tuition at her posh private school.

Wait, OP is one of the crazy anti-redshirters who doesn’t understand how private school admissions work at an extremely basic level? Hahahahahahaha. The stereotypes just write themselves.

I love the DCUM anti-redshirt threads because the absolute crazy of the anti-redshirters comes out every single time. They can’t keep a lid on it.

I’m the OP and see nothing wrong with red shirting summer. We considered it and the school themselves told us to send him at the same time they were telling others to hold . I said it was out of hand for people to redshirt kids who were already born in the first month of a school year, creating a 23 month gap with someone on the young end, mentioning the two 10 year olds in 3rd in my son’s class. No kids ever really ready for Kinder. I don’t know what people expect their child to be doing to be ready for this grade.

Hahaha this is gold. The private school, the demands that a private school follow your preferred admissions strategy, the whining, the entitlement, it is all just a perfect chef’s kiss of a post. Love it.

DCUM anti-redshirters are continually some of the best entertainment this board has to offer. Please please please never stop posting.

OP probably wears a big fake smile at all the school events having to mix and mingle with these horrible redshirting parents then comes here to gossip and trash them expecting commiseration.

I suspect her crazy leaks out. She is probably as insane-sounding to her fellow private school parents as she is here, though I suspect there is also a group that quietly keep their kids away from her.

[Anonymous]

And to clarify above, by “by six” I mean “prior to their seventh birthday”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you didn’t redshirt in K then what are you supposed to do if you decide they would benefit later on? Hold them back? Is that even allowed?

At our public ES they said redshirting was becoming less prevalent in favor of holding back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Wow, this thread grew fast. I assume the crazy anti-redshirters are frothing again? I don’t have the energy to wade through it.

OP: This is not a serious issue, speaking as a parent of teens and young adults. I did not redshirt. In fact one of my kids is a young spring birthday and has often been the youngest or close to it. I read the absolute meltdowns about redshirting from anti-redshirting posters and understand why kids have no resiliency these days — their parents can’t model it. Crazy, sad people.

OPs kid has suffered not at all as she will be quick to tell you not so humbly. He is in gifted, plays a year up in some sport, super popular, no challenges, yet, she just can’t get past the birthdays of a few classmates for no particular reason. This is her hobby in life, to perseverate on a non issue because she thinks someone else is getting something she’s not. Then she whines about “advantages” as she pays another month of tuition at her posh private school.

Wait, OP is one of the crazy anti-redshirters who doesn’t understand how private school admissions work at an extremely basic level? Hahahahahahaha. The stereotypes just write themselves.

I love the DCUM anti-redshirt threads because the absolute crazy of the anti-redshirters comes out every single time. They can’t keep a lid on it.

I’m the OP and see nothing wrong with red shirting summer. We considered it and the school themselves told us to send him at the same time they were telling others to hold . I said it was out of hand for people to redshirt kids who were already born in the first month of a school year, creating a 23 month gap with someone on the young end, mentioning the two 10 year olds in 3rd in my son’s class. No kids ever really ready for Kinder. I don’t know what people expect their child to be doing to be ready for this grade.

Hahaha this is gold. The private school, the demands that a private school follow your preferred admissions strategy, the whining, the entitlement, it is all just a perfect chef’s kiss of a post. Love it.

DCUM anti-redshirters are continually some of the best entertainment this board has to offer. Please please please never stop posting.

OP probably wears a big fake smile at all the school events having to mix and mingle with these horrible redshirting parents then comes here to gossip and trash them expecting commiseration.

I suspect her crazy leaks out. She is probably as insane-sounding to her fellow private school parents as she is here, though I suspect there is also a group that quietly keep their kids away from her.

It’s the same group that didn’t let her in on the fact that most boys in her year are redshirting. This was knowable information for the OP four years ago, clearly she’s not well integrated into her school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you didn’t redshirt in K then what are you supposed to do if you decide they would benefit later on? Hold them back? Is that even allowed?

At our public ES they said redshirting was becoming less prevalent in favor of holding back.

Our pediatrician advised redshirting over holding back because of the potential psycho-social impact on an older kid. Wanting kids to be held back so they can be labeled as dumb is part of the anti-redshirt creed.