Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ask yourself why the opinion of others matters so much to you.

Ask yourself why the opinions of others DOESN’T matter to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ask yourself why the opinion of others matters so much to you.

Ask yourself why the opinions of others DOESN’T matter to you.

I care about the content of character and not the wrapping paper.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You live in the DMV. This is why.

This is part of it. It's a frumpy crowd who doesn't care much about looks. Hit up Miami or LA and you'll see a higher percentage of people who at least avoided wearing stained clothing out that day.

I moved to Greenwich, CT a few years ago and it's like a different world. People dress up to go to the post office here. Or their friend's house for tea. A constant fashion show in town. It took me a while to get used to but I actually love it.

LOL. It’s easy to look good when you are wealthy and can focus all of your energy on personal care. If I could outsource all cleaning, laundry, children, errands, grocery shopping, cooking and landscaping I’d look fantastic!

My poor, uneducated immigrant mom always found a way to dress well, so there goes that excuse….

I think you've found the answer. People without privilege think they need to look and dress a certain way to be treated the way they want to be treated. Those who don't doubt their status have what I like to call slob privilege. Your poor immigrant mother probably worried that someone was going to ignore her or not treat her kindly - she dressed well to try to avoid that happening. Same with the ridiculous class anxiety you see on this board all the time - what do I wear to the country club? what will the private school moms think of me if i wear this dress or that one? how does old money dress to go to the horse stall?

The people who are comfortable in their status in life, dress how they like - that might be fancy, it might be slobby, it might depend on the day. But they aren't worried about not being allowed on the airplane if they don't have on the right outfit.

Eh, almost. I think slob privilege is a kind of white privilege. If you’re not white, you can be “comfortable in your status in life,” have high self-esteem and be doing really well for yourself but still know that to avoid being treated a certain way by people you need to look tidy. That has nothing to do with class anxiety or an internal state of mind. It just is what it is.

I am the PP - and I would agree. You're right, I was defaulting to a norm of whiteness here. I would imagine there are plenty of people who don't feel the privilege to be a total slob, in many contexts. There is also a lot of code switching, dress-wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mommy had time to put on a full face of makeup to garden. She didn't have a job, did she? Her children weren't involved in the sports/activities that today's children are involved in, were they? Wear make up and fancy clothes if you want, OP. Stop judging others.

JERK.

Actually that's a good addendum to slob privilege analysis. Free time privilege. Who has the time to get a cosmetic procedure and stay home waiting for it to heal? Who has time to put on a careful outfit every day, for every activity? In some circles, in some circumstances, I think you're right that putting on a full face of makeup and a careful outfit would signal that you hare the luxury of lots of free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well most people in America are obese so that’s your answer. If they really cared about their looks, they wouldn’t be pigging out.

Yes that is why sweat are so popular. However now that skinny jeans and being thin are back in I think this will change for the better.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Yes. Society is dying for its lack of manicures.

You’re an idiot.

No, you misunderstood the point. Have you ever heard the saying by Benjamin Franklin “if you want something done ask a busy person?” If you’re put together, you have time to do the little things like manicures. If you’re a disorganized mess, you don’t. If you can’t even manage to put on a pair of slacks instead of sweatpants or leggings, what else can’t you do?

SLACKS?

Haha +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Yes. Society is dying for its lack of manicures.

You’re an idiot.

No, you misunderstood the point. Have you ever heard the saying by Benjamin Franklin “if you want something done ask a busy person?” If you’re put together, you have time to do the little things like manicures. If you’re a disorganized mess, you don’t. If you can’t even manage to put on a pair of slacks instead of sweatpants or leggings, what else can’t you do?

A family member stopped saying that when she had to adopt her late daughter's orphaned kids. She realized life can turn on a dime and people get overwhelmed.

+1 Two of my three kids have SN, WOH FT, have no family nearby and have a HHI of less than $150K. I have good hygiene but prioritize comfort over style. Yoga pants and bike shorts are my top choice for my fat, cellulite-ridden legs. I'm long past the point of caring what strangers think. Haters gonna hate.

+1

I own ten of one thing, ten of another, etc. - when I find something comfortable and presentable, that is what I wear, and you and your high school ways can say what you want, no matter. I am always well groomed, showered and presentable. I choose to spend my time on family, friends and work, in that order. There will always be someone with too much time on their hands, and a false narrative. Not my problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You live in the DMV. This is why.

This is part of it. It's a frumpy crowd who doesn't care much about looks. Hit up Miami or LA and you'll see a higher percentage of people who at least avoided wearing stained clothing out that day.

I moved to Greenwich, CT a few years ago and it's like a different world. People dress up to go to the post office here. Or their friend's house for tea. A constant fashion show in town. It took me a while to get used to but I actually love it.

LOL. It’s easy to look good when you are wealthy and can focus all of your energy on personal care. If I could outsource all cleaning, laundry, children, errands, grocery shopping, cooking and landscaping I’d look fantastic!

My poor, uneducated immigrant mom always found a way to dress well, so there goes that excuse….

I think you've found the answer. People without privilege think they need to look and dress a certain way to be treated the way they want to be treated. Those who don't doubt their status have what I like to call slob privilege. Your poor immigrant mother probably worried that someone was going to ignore her or not treat her kindly - she dressed well to try to avoid that happening. Same with the ridiculous class anxiety you see on this board all the time - what do I wear to the country club? what will the private school moms think of me if i wear this dress or that one? how does old money dress to go to the horse stall?

The people who are comfortable in their status in life, dress how they like - that might be fancy, it might be slobby, it might depend on the day. But they aren't worried about not being allowed on the airplane if they don't have on the right outfit.

Eh, almost. I think slob privilege is a kind of white privilege. If you’re not white, you can be “comfortable in your status in life,” have high self-esteem and be doing really well for yourself but still know that to avoid being treated a certain way by people you need to look tidy. That has nothing to do with class anxiety or an internal state of mind. It just is what it is.

I am the PP - and I would agree. You're right, I was defaulting to a norm of whiteness here. I would imagine there are plenty of people who don't feel the privilege to be a total slob, in many contexts. There is also a lot of code switching, dress-wise.

x100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ask yourself why the opinion of others matters so much to you.

+1

Not to mention, why the doxing of others is so important to you. Do you know them? At all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I overheard my husband and his friend talking about another dad for being a slob which i honestly found hysterical since I am so used to women being catty. "Did you see that guy...Fat, Mandalorian t-shirt, neckbeard and flip flops. How can he call himself a grown man."
Men are totally guilty of dressing like toddlers and it is so unattractive. I guess if their wives are in sweats every day they feel it's their prerogative.
We are not wealthy and get most of our clothes at consignment since we spend our money on our kids, but they are REAL clothes and we always look like adults who care about ourselves.

Sounds like Jason Kelce - you know, People magazine's sexiest man alive. He says it's "A Win for Plus-Sized, Bearded Men" 🥰

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ask yourself why the opinion of others matters so much to you.

Ask yourself why the opinions of others DOESN’T matter to you.

Because I’m not 5. Your opinion of me means absolutely nothing.

Being an adult is great. You should try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is fascinating to look at photographs of cities and people back in the 1950s and earlier and notice how dressed up everyone was in public, even the working people. And for an older generation, they still wore ties to do chores around the house. People clearly believed it was part of being a citizen to show respect for others by dressing nicely in public. And I do agree there is merit to it. I definitely treat people who dress better differently than those who are slobs and indifferent.

I mean, Donald Trump dresses nicely whereas Michael Franti might be considered by some here as a slob. Nice clothes do not equal character.

And I say this as someone who puts a ton of effort into my appearance. I can still distinguish between clothing and respect for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Yes. Society is dying for its lack of manicures.

You’re an idiot.

No, you misunderstood the point. Have you ever heard the saying by Benjamin Franklin “if you want something done ask a busy person?” If you’re put together, you have time to do the little things like manicures. If you’re a disorganized mess, you don’t. If you can’t even manage to put on a pair of slacks instead of sweatpants or leggings, what else can’t you do?

SLACKS?

This is probably the same person who advised someone going to a rock concert to wear “pumps.”

[Anonymous]

I’ve not read the 19 pages of replies!

Sometimes people do dress up. I went to an opera at the Kennedy Center recently and some people were dressed to the nines. Especially the people who are members and pay big money for member benefits like access to the lounge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ask yourself why the opinion of others matters so much to you.

Ask yourself why the opinions of others DOESN’T matter to you.

Because I’m not 5. Your opinion of me means absolutely nothing.

Being an adult is great. You should try it.

But your mindset is closer to one of a five year old than an adult. It’s shocking that you fail to grasp that.