Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?

[Anonymous]

I looked back at old photos of my parents and grandparents are love how everybody is put together every day. They would NEVER go out in leggings, sweat pants, pjs! Why have Americans stopped caring how they look when they leave their house. I grew up with a mom who refused to even garden outside without makeup and decent clothes on. She always said somebody could stop by and she didn't want to look like she just woke up. I could count on my two hands how many times I have seen her without makeup outside of her bedroom.

I am 40 and when my kids were really little did not put much effort into my clothes (leggings, sweatshirts, etc at the bus stop) but this year I decided I needed to step up my game. I wake up every morning, wash my face, put on real clothes (jeans and a nice top, a dress, etc) and put some make up on (nothing heavy just some blush and eye liner). I can't believe how much better I feel every day!

[Anonymous]

I know. And I agree.

[Anonymous]

I always dress nicely if I’m going to the office, out to dinner with friends, a social gathering somewhere, etc. I wear comfortable clothes to do daily errands, take a walk or garden.

I feel great about myself and my mood is good. Putting on makeup to go to Target is a waste of time for me, but you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always dress nicely if I’m going to the office, out to dinner with friends, a social gathering somewhere, etc. I wear comfortable clothes to do daily errands, take a walk or garden.

I feel great about myself and my mood is good. Putting on makeup to go to Target is a waste of time for me, but you do you.

+1 I do wear makeup most days but I wish I didn't have to. Old age will do that to you (53).

[Anonymous]

I don’t wear makeup unless I have an evening event. But otherwise I agree about dressing nicely whenever I leave my house - unless I’m going to a Pilates class.

[Anonymous]

When I was younger, I was much more insecure about my looks so I always put on makeup even to go to the grocery store. Thankfully, I'm much older now, so I don't really care sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Op I think people had pride in themselves then.

I was just out of town with a friend. She went to medical appointments not having showere or washed her hair for three days. She put her hair in a bun, threw on oversized sweats with a hole in them, and was ready to go.

[Anonymous]

I think work at home and everyone fell off a cliff after the Covid pandemic/isolation.

When I started working for the Feds in 1995, I was required to wear panty hose. Men had to wear ties. Fast forward 5 years and 'business casual' was introduced. It was still actually 'business-like' and you only wore jeans on 'casual Friday' I had a lot of black trousers and professional tops, etc. Fast forward a little more and things slowly slid--people started working dark wash jeans, then I started to see sneakers...and then I saw my first pair of fuzzy slippers coming down the hall.

For awhile, when attorneys came in for a meeting you still had to dress professional. The men on the hall shared the same navy blazer in tie on the back of someone's door to throw which was quite comical given the size differences in these guys.

I started WAH in 2005 and when I'd pop in the office people were in all states of unbrushed hair, unkempt attire.

I spend most of my day in workout gear since I usually workout mid-day. So walking the dog- I admit--don't look my best but manage to throw on jeans and big sunglasses and brush my hair.

I do get dressed up, make-up, hair for going out to dinner--restaurants, parties and pull out all stops for special occasions weddings, work galas, etc. My sons have always had to put on a polo/collared shirt when we went out to eat. We never looks schlubby in restaurants. They now go to a private HS and are required to wear khakis, dress shoes, belt and collared shirt of their choosing. It's been great because it's upped their game. They are athletes so will still wear athletic gear, sweats, etc when not at school (unless going out to eat or its a holiday, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I think people had pride in themselves then.

I was just out of town with a friend. She went to medical appointments not having showere or washed her hair for three days. She put her hair in a bun, threw on oversized sweats with a hole in them, and was ready to go.

My friend works in a GYN office and I don't even want to tell you when you talks about the smells of the unwashed coming in for those appointments. Same with bikini waxes-according to my waxer. I'm absolutely appalled and disgusted somebody wouldn't be in a shower prior at either place.

[Anonymous]

I shower, dress nicely and put on make up and do my hair to go to work or go out for any social gathering. I do not want to live in a world where I need to put on makeup to work in the garden. There is a compromise you know, it’s not all or nothing.

[Anonymous]

Some people like yourself - is focused on more how others perceive them. You derive pleasure out of feeling like you look attractive.

Other people do not care how others perceive them outside of certain situations like work. I do not care whether some stranger on the grocery store thinks I am attractive or not. I care about getting to and from the store as easily as possible, taking up the least amount of my day.

[Anonymous]

People ramped up dressing for comfort during Covid and never looked back.

FWIW, I got lazy for a few years but am trying to take a little more pride in my appearance now (jeans instead of leggings, styling hair instead of ponytail)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people like yourself - is focused on more how others perceive them. You derive pleasure out of feeling like you look attractive.

Other people do not care how others perceive them outside of certain situations like work. I do not care whether some stranger on the grocery store thinks I am attractive or not. I care about getting to and from the store as easily as possible, taking up the least amount of my day.

Agree with this. I don't care how I look or how others think I look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I shower, dress nicely and put on make up and do my hair to go to work or go out for any social gathering. I do not want to live in a world where I need to put on makeup to work in the garden. There is a compromise you know, it’s not all or nothing.

I agree. I think this is a happy compromise. I feel the same about just popping over to the store, gym, walking the dog around the block. I live in a walkable neighborhood--so everything is a few blocks from my house. I'll quickly pop into Whole Foods post work-out--and don't care that I'm not 'fully done up'.

I do shower, put regular clothes on, make-up if I am doing other things--even going to a kids' sporting event on the weekends. If we go out to dinner, I definitely have showered put on something nice (appropriate for whatever type of restaurant). I keep up with hair appointments, etc.

But, I relaxed my standards with make up to the grocery store which is a holdover from my mom in the 80s when she wouldn't be caught dead with someone seeing her without makeup. I was that way for sometime too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think work at home and everyone fell off a cliff after the Covid pandemic/isolation.

When I started working for the Feds in 1995, I was required to wear panty hose. Men had to wear ties. Fast forward 5 years and 'business casual' was introduced. It was still actually 'business-like' and you only wore jeans on 'casual Friday' I had a lot of black trousers and professional tops, etc. Fast forward a little more and things slowly slid--people started working dark wash jeans, then I started to see sneakers...and then I saw my first pair of fuzzy slippers coming down the hall.

For awhile, when attorneys came in for a meeting you still had to dress professional. The men on the hall shared the same navy blazer in tie on the back of someone's door to throw which was quite comical given the size differences in these guys.

I started WAH in 2005 and when I'd pop in the office people were in all states of unbrushed hair, unkempt attire.

I spend most of my day in workout gear since I usually workout mid-day. So walking the dog- I admit--don't look my best but manage to throw on jeans and big sunglasses and brush my hair.

I do get dressed up, make-up, hair for going out to dinner--restaurants, parties and pull out all stops for special occasions weddings, work galas, etc. My sons have always had to put on a polo/collared shirt when we went out to eat. We never looks schlubby in restaurants. They now go to a private HS and are required to wear khakis, dress shoes, belt and collared shirt of their choosing. It's been great because it's upped their game. They are athletes so will still wear athletic gear, sweats, etc when not at school (unless going out to eat or its a holiday, etc).

I am still giggling to myself about 'casual Fridays'. I remember how exciting that was but also the dilemna of how to dress for it exactly. Some men had their mom jeans and belts. What was 'too casual' was always a dilemna. I even remember emails about when people had crossed the line and a reminder about acceptable office attire went out (and this was a Fed office ).

My how the mighty have fallen...every day is a 'casual friday'...more like 'roll out of bed' attire.