I was so close and now I’m shut out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

You can be sad, but you can also realize that verbalizing your complaints to those who have much less and would love to have your "problems" will not gain you much sympathy.

Yes. By PP’s rationale, we should have sympathy for Jeff Bezos if he came in here complaining he could only afford a $50M house and not the $75M he wanted. At a certain point complaining about being limited to a $1.2M home sounds incredibly entitled.

That’s funny because every time I’ve said I think $1 million is a lot of money posters tell me I’m out of touch. You’re all just a bunch of trolls, I guess.

Or maybe consider the possibility that there are a range of posters here, and the ones who are telling you $1 mil is not a lot are not the same as the ones saying OP is entitled for being "shut out" of the housing market because she doesn't want a $1 mil house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.

You say "kind of" because you don't say that in person, but you can say it here as you are hiding behind your anonymity and that be somehow makes your appalling behavior ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.

You say "kind of" because you don't say that in person, but you can say it here as you are hiding behind your anonymity and that be somehow makes your appalling behavior ok.

I just told you what I said, and I would say it to a friend or to OP. I don't think it's appalling behavior to try to help someone see that they still have choices even though their choices may be more limited than before and they are sad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.

You say "kind of" because you don't say that in person, but you can say it here as you are hiding behind your anonymity and that be somehow makes your appalling behavior ok.

I just told you what I said, and I would say it to a friend or to OP. I don't think it's appalling behavior to try to help someone see that they still have choices even though their choices may be more limited than before and they are sad about it.

You sound like an insufferable person

[Anonymous]

Can we all agree that it's majorly tone deaf to complain that you can't afford a $1.7 Million dollar house? I mean COME ON. There are plenty of houses that someone can afford $1.3 Million at these interest rates (OP DID say that she could afford a $1.3 Million house now, not a $1.7 Million one) can buy that are still very nice and decent commuting distance to DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

Exactly right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.

You say "kind of" because you don't say that in person, but you can say it here as you are hiding behind your anonymity and that be somehow makes your appalling behavior ok.

I just told you what I said, and I would say it to a friend or to OP. I don't think it's appalling behavior to try to help someone see that they still have choices even though their choices may be more limited than before and they are sad about it.

You sound like an insufferable person

Okay. Well, I am just a person who made trade offs when I bought a townhouse close in, because like 99% of people, I had a budget to work with.

[Anonymous]

There seems to be one very angry poster/defender of OP on here that has done a lot more name-calling and thrown around a lot more insults than the people she is going after.