I was so close and now I’m shut out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We made a few housing decisions based on my impulsivity (and frankly instability at the time) that turned out to be very profitable. My husband would have NEVER made these choices without me but basically just went along with them (vs. putting up a giant fight).

I think it's fairly typical for men to be more conservative financially than their wives. Not 100% of the time but maybe 70/30. Women are more apt to make emotionally driven decisions regarding large purchases.

Whoa, holy misogyny. Many of us women have been making rational decisions based on careful analysis. I'm glad that your investments worked out for you, but we're not all a bunch of emotionally unstable women who just got lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:They’re all nice. The only thing wrong with them is the price tag. There is no way any of these places should be more than $750-800K, it’s the disconnect between how long and how much it takes to bay & finance a place like this now, vs the value for that cost. These are clear started homes that now cost as much as a move up home.

1. 750-800k is not “starter home” territory for most.

2. These are all well-maintained homes that can comfortably fit a family, and in good locations.

3. Supply, demand, and the overall market would suggest these may be priced what they “should” be.

Listen, it’s not like I don’t understand frustration with the market we live in. We moved here from Texas (We probably just would have…died if life took us to LA or the Bay Area, I guess.) But then we realized the housing market is what it is and we found a place we were happy to call home. We made some compromises, some that we never envisioned making when we first moved here. But we love our home and are thankful for it.

As a society, we need to invest in a lot more affordable housing as well as densely populated communities with a lot of different types of housing. And we need to disrupt the idea that one is lesser for renting or living in a condo or townhouse. There are obviously a lot of structural changes that need to occur—but shaking one’s fist at the current market will just lead to misery.

Haha, we experienced the same thing when we moved here 20 years ago. My spouse was insulted by what he could get for the money at the time and told me he would “not play this game.” Lol, we ended up buying something of lesser quality for 50% more than if we have gotten it two years prior. This has cost us housing wise in more ways that one ever since. Meaning, although we live in the neighborhood we wanted but not the house in size and quality we desired. Lesson learned.

My DH did something similar when we bought in 2017. He was deadset on a 15 year mortgage at 2k per month. That landed us in a small TH that we quickly outgrew. Had he stretched a bit to maybe 2500 on a 30 year, we could have bought a nice SFH. Now that nice SFH is way out of budget.

It’s always the DHs throwing a monkey wrench into sound housing decisions. Can’t tell you how much it has cost me/us

Same here. I finally had to sit him down and show him that all my RE ideas either were very profitable (the ones we did) or would have been if he didn't get in the way (the ones we didn't do). I had to show him the numbers and he was floored at what we passed up at his own insistence. He vowed to never get in the way again.

[b]

Doubt he’ll keep that vow. I know because I’ve been there. We could have been twice as well off real estate wise. Oh well☹️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made a few housing decisions based on my impulsivity (and frankly instability at the time) that turned out to be very profitable. My husband would have NEVER made these choices without me but basically just went along with them (vs. putting up a giant fight).

I think it's fairly typical for men to be more conservative financially than their wives. Not 100% of the time but maybe 70/30. Women are more apt to make emotionally driven decisions regarding large purchases.

Whoa, holy misogyny. Many of us women have been making rational decisions based on careful analysis. I'm glad that your investments worked out for you, but we're not all a bunch of emotionally unstable women who just got lucky.

Yes, I think most research has shown that women make just as “rationale” decisions as men, though women and men express those decisions (as well as emotions) differently.

FWIW though, think these “stupid DH who doesn’t listen to me” posts are also off-putting.

[Anonymous]

NP: I get it. OP. I get it.

But you know that saying: comparison is the thief of joy? You are living that saying.

You have so much to be joyful right now. And looking at missed opportunities is going to blind you at future opportunities.

And I think that one should note: you might not get your dream home now, but no house is “perfect”. Some get lucky but there is always something that needs changing. And you really don’t know until you put in an offer and see what happens.

In other words: yes. This all sucks. But as the real estate market is not shifting downward yet: make smart choices that aren’t based on “well I couldve….” Because that’s what got you in this place already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.

You say "kind of" because you don't say that in person, but you can say it here as you are hiding behind your anonymity and that be somehow makes your appalling behavior ok.

I just told you what I said, and I would say it to a friend or to OP. I don't think it's appalling behavior to try to help someone see that they still have choices even though their choices may be more limited than before and they are sad about it.

You sound like an insufferable person

Okay. Well, I am just a person who made trade offs when I bought a townhouse close in, because like 99% of people, I had a budget to work with.

What is your point? I also bought a townhouse (not really close in) and had s budget to work with. I just don't feel particularly upset or angry about my income level and not being able to afford $1.2 million. I can also respond in a human way to someone upset about the market right now. I would be losing my mind if I was trying to buy now, no matter my budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.

You say "kind of" because you don't say that in person, but you can say it here as you are hiding behind your anonymity and that be somehow makes your appalling behavior ok.

I just told you what I said, and I would say it to a friend or to OP. I don't think it's appalling behavior to try to help someone see that they still have choices even though their choices may be more limited than before and they are sad about it.

You sound like an insufferable person

Okay. Well, I am just a person who made trade offs when I bought a townhouse close in, because like 99% of people, I had a budget to work with.

What is your point? I also bought a townhouse (not really close in) and had s budget to work with. I just don't feel particularly upset or angry about my income level and not being able to afford $1.2 million. I can also respond in a human way to someone upset about the market right now. I would be losing my mind if I was trying to buy now, no matter my budget.

The point, as many people have stated, is that there are still houses OP can buy. She is not "shut out." She may be angry and sad, which is understandable, but she still has options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we all agree that it's majorly tone deaf to complain that you can't afford a $1.7 Million dollar house? I mean COME ON. There are plenty of houses that someone can afford $1.3 Million at these interest rates (OP DID say that she could afford a $1.3 Million house now, not a $1.7 Million one) can buy that are still very nice and decent commuting distance to DC.

Yes, this is exactly the point. Sure, you can be sad that you can't get as much as before, but you can still get a house if that is your priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

This. This is who I would feel bad for. Not someone who can afford a $1.2 million house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your original budget of $1.2 @ 3% works out to around $5,000/mo, which with today's interest rates would mean you could afford about $800,000.

There are currently 120 homes for sale in DC proper for $800,000 or less, and 897 homes for sale at that price point in the general commuting area.

Sorry you waited too long and can't get the exact house in the exact neighborhood you think you deserve, but there are plenty of houses you can afford. Quit whining and pick one.

This answer might be the most accurate regarding numbers. Maybe OP can only afford $800k now with increased rates. That definitely sucks, but there are still houses available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

This. This is who I would feel bad for. Not someone who can afford a $1.2 million house.

She’s 50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

This. This is who I would feel bad for. Not someone who can afford a $1.2 million house.

She’s 50.

And?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

This. This is who I would feel bad for. Not someone who can afford a $1.2 million house.

She’s 50.

And?

That’s 20 more years of working, saving, and wishing. And most people expect to be in a better lifestyle at 50 than they were in their 30s. Why do you only feel sorry for 30 year olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

This. This is who I would feel bad for. Not someone who can afford a $1.2 million house.

She’s 50.

And?

That’s 20 more years of working, saving, and wishing. And most people expect to be in a better lifestyle at 50 than they were in their 30s. Why do you only feel sorry for 30 year olds?

Because there are a lot fewer houses available for $500k than $1 mil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is correct. Houses in my neighborhood that would have been $1.2 a few years ago are now going for $1.6 or more. It is depressing for those of us who were looking and could have bought but didn't do it quickly enough and now find that we missed the boat. But it really doesn't help to dwell on it! You can only move forward from where you are and who knows what the future will bring.

Same. We’re now priced out of a neighborhood we love and hoped to buy in.

It’s pathetic that so many of the people on this forum can’t have compassion for people priced out by a ridiculous and unimaginable sharp increase in such a short time. Just confirms my suspicions that half of you are corporate slumlords, brokers, and builders greedy for cash.

Same here. We were looking and could have bought but thought we would be patient for the right fit. Now we are having to look at much lower quality houses at a higher price. I don't really understand why people on this forum can't understand how that would be disappointing. Imagine you wanted to book an airline ticket, you wait a day to confirm your travel dates and all the sudden the ticket price jumped by 40 percent. Wouldn't you be regretful and disappointed? Now instead of your holiday to Rome, you are looking at spending even more money to go to Atlantic City. And no, I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of Atlantic City vis a vis Rome - it is just an example!

I get it, I really do. It feels like the housing market is moving faster than “normal” buyers can keep up with.

I think the negative reaction to this thread is that OP had $1.2m to spend on a house while rates are low and yet … didn’t. Why? Clearly she could have bought a home but was unwilling to jump in. Or was picky about what was on the market?

She is 50. I am 38. I graduated into a recession. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents are 40s to even 50. They bought houses while I was still in HS or college! OP had SO much more opportunity than me to be an adult when the housing market was more affordable, but never bought anything. I now live in a house that is valued less than $1.2 even following the COVID price run up. We paid 800k back in 2018, but I’m sure she’d thumb her nose at my house. So I’m just having a hard time feeling sorry for her. And with a 300k HHI I know I’m part of the UMC, but OP thinks not being able to afford the $1.7m house makes her MC. Just not a very sympathetic poster.

If OP were a 30 year old who had just finally scrounged together a DP and they were bummed a 500-700k house is now close to 900k+, I would feel bad for them.

This. This is who I would feel bad for. Not someone who can afford a $1.2 million house.

She’s 50.

And?

That’s 20 more years of working, saving, and wishing. And most people expect to be in a better lifestyle at 50 than they were in their 30s. Why do you only feel sorry for 30 year olds?

Because there are a lot fewer houses available for $500k than $1 mil.

Age is irrelevant, I would not feel bad for a 30-year old with a $1 mil. budget either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

There's feeling sad, and then there's accepting reality and reframing your options. OP doesn't seem to be good at the latter part.

People all over the world make do with much less. Everyone except the richest people in the world has to make trade offs. OP is not special in that regard.

Jfc you must make a terrible friend

I don't know why you would say that. My friends and I have all commiserated with each other throughout life's challenges with houses, kids, marriage, etc. AND we also help each other see the bright side, look at things from a new perspective, and work through possible options when we have problems. It's what friends do!

Oh so when your friend has marriage problems, you say, "People all over the world have marriage problems. No marriage is perfect. You are not special in that regard."

Or are you just an a-hole to people online?

Kind of...? I do think it's important for people not to hold up their marriage to a perfect ideal that may not be realistic. People are not perfect, they change over time, there are different stressors when kids come into the picture. Everyone has different strengths, think about what the positives are, and how you can work on the negatives, think about whether staying married is better than getting divorced, etc...

What I don't say: Well if you can't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, then just give up, you are shut out of the marriage market.

You say "kind of" because you don't say that in person, but you can say it here as you are hiding behind your anonymity and that be somehow makes your appalling behavior ok.

I just told you what I said, and I would say it to a friend or to OP. I don't think it's appalling behavior to try to help someone see that they still have choices even though their choices may be more limited than before and they are sad about it.

You sound like an insufferable person

Okay. Well, I am just a person who made trade offs when I bought a townhouse close in, because like 99% of people, I had a budget to work with.

What is your point? I also bought a townhouse (not really close in) and had s budget to work with. I just don't feel particularly upset or angry about my income level and not being able to afford $1.2 million. I can also respond in a human way to someone upset about the market right now. I would be losing my mind if I was trying to buy now, no matter my budget.

The point, as many people have stated, is that there are still houses OP can buy. She is not "shut out." She may be angry and sad, which is understandable, but she still has options.

She has a goal for a particular type of house. At her age I can absolutely see how she feels shut out in terms of that goal.