I was so close and now I’m shut out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re all nice. The only thing wrong with them is the price tag. There is no way any of these places should be more than $750-800K, it’s the disconnect between how long and how much it takes to bay & finance a place like this now, vs the value for that cost. These are clear started homes that now cost as much as a move up home.

1. 750-800k is not “starter home” territory for most.

2. These are all well-maintained homes that can comfortably fit a family, and in good locations.

3. Supply, demand, and the overall market would suggest these may be priced what they “should” be.

Listen, it’s not like I don’t understand frustration with the market we live in. We moved here from Texas (We probably just would have…died if life took us to LA or the Bay Area, I guess.) But then we realized the housing market is what it is and we found a place we were happy to call home. We made some compromises, some that we never envisioned making when we first moved here. But we love our home and are thankful for it.

As a society, we need to invest in a lot more affordable housing as well as densely populated communities with a lot of different types of housing. And we need to disrupt the idea that one is lesser for renting or living in a condo or townhouse. There are obviously a lot of structural changes that need to occur—but shaking one’s fist at the current market will just lead to misery.

Haha, we experienced the same thing when we moved here 20 years ago. My spouse was insulted by what he could get for the money at the time and told me he would “not play this game.” Lol, we ended up buying something of lesser quality for 50% more than if we have gotten it two years prior. This has cost us housing wise in more ways that one ever since. Meaning, although we live in the neighborhood we wanted but not the house in size and quality we desired. Lesson learned.

My DH did something similar when we bought in 2017. He was deadset on a 15 year mortgage at 2k per month. That landed us in a small TH that we quickly outgrew. Had he stretched a bit to maybe 2500 on a 30 year, we could have bought a nice SFH. Now that nice SFH is way out of budget.

It’s always the DHs throwing a monkey wrench into sound housing decisions. Can’t tell you how much it has cost me/us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

Tell that to OP

You miss the point. By this logic nobody except the poorest person in the world should ever complain or feel sad about anything. If you can't see how ridiculous that is, I can't help you.

[Anonymous]

OP saved for a long time for something she wanted. Now after all those years she realizes she can't have it and probably never will. She can have something different that will probably be fine, but it isn't what she saved for. That sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re all nice. The only thing wrong with them is the price tag. There is no way any of these places should be more than $750-800K, it’s the disconnect between how long and how much it takes to bay & finance a place like this now, vs the value for that cost. These are clear started homes that now cost as much as a move up home.

1. 750-800k is not “starter home” territory for most.

2. These are all well-maintained homes that can comfortably fit a family, and in good locations.

3. Supply, demand, and the overall market would suggest these may be priced what they “should” be.

Listen, it’s not like I don’t understand frustration with the market we live in. We moved here from Texas (We probably just would have…died if life took us to LA or the Bay Area, I guess.) But then we realized the housing market is what it is and we found a place we were happy to call home. We made some compromises, some that we never envisioned making when we first moved here. But we love our home and are thankful for it.

As a society, we need to invest in a lot more affordable housing as well as densely populated communities with a lot of different types of housing. And we need to disrupt the idea that one is lesser for renting or living in a condo or townhouse. There are obviously a lot of structural changes that need to occur—but shaking one’s fist at the current market will just lead to misery.

Haha, we experienced the same thing when we moved here 20 years ago. My spouse was insulted by what he could get for the money at the time and told me he would “not play this game.” Lol, we ended up buying something of lesser quality for 50% more than if we have gotten it two years prior. This has cost us housing wise in more ways that one ever since. Meaning, although we live in the neighborhood we wanted but not the house in size and quality we desired. Lesson learned.

My DH did something similar when we bought in 2017. He was deadset on a 15 year mortgage at 2k per month. That landed us in a small TH that we quickly outgrew. Had he stretched a bit to maybe 2500 on a 30 year, we could have bought a nice SFH. Now that nice SFH is way out of budget.

It’s always the DHs throwing a monkey wrench into sound housing decisions. Can’t tell you how much it has cost me/us

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have some sympathy. If we bought our house today, the rate increase coupled with the price increase would increase our monthly payment by 3500. Granted, we bought in 2014, but it does put in perspective the difficulty of breaking into the market at the moment.

OP could afford the 3500 today, or even more. OP is upset that she can no longer get the $1.2 mil SFH she wanted because it's now $1.7 mil. She would instead have to take the $1.2 mil house today (that used to be less a couple years ago), and that just won't do, so she'll rent forever and never make it to the UMC.

She can’t get that either because interest rates are twice as much.

If you wanted a $50k car and saved $40,000 for it and when you went to the dealership they said “oh, now it’s actually $120,000”, how would you feel? Let this woman grieve for a bit. No need to be mean.

I think we all acknowledge it would be disappointing. I think we also can agree that she is still better off being able to buy a car of some sort, when many, many others are now ACTUALLY priced out and will have to keep taking the public bus.

Her post was tone deaf and entitled.

This is the DCUM real estate thread. I’m repeatedly told that $1 million is not a lot of money for a house here. But when someone says she frustrated and disappointed like this, half of you bash her. You’re just talking out your own frustrations on her. Or you don’t live anywhere in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have some sympathy. If we bought our house today, the rate increase coupled with the price increase would increase our monthly payment by 3500. Granted, we bought in 2014, but it does put in perspective the difficulty of breaking into the market at the moment.

OP could afford the 3500 today, or even more. OP is upset that she can no longer get the $1.2 mil SFH she wanted because it's now $1.7 mil. She would instead have to take the $1.2 mil house today (that used to be less a couple years ago), and that just won't do, so she'll rent forever and never make it to the UMC.

She can’t get that either because interest rates are twice as much.

If you wanted a $50k car and saved $40,000 for it and when you went to the dealership they said “oh, now it’s actually $120,000”, how would you feel? Let this woman grieve for a bit. No need to be mean.

I think we all acknowledge it would be disappointing. I think we also can agree that she is still better off being able to buy a car of some sort, when many, many others are now ACTUALLY priced out and will have to keep taking the public bus.

Her post was tone deaf and entitled.

This is the DCUM real estate thread. I’m repeatedly told that $1 million is not a lot of money for a house here. But when someone says she frustrated and disappointed like this, half of you bash her. You’re just talking out your own frustrations on her. Or you don’t live anywhere in the DMV.

+1 this

[Anonymous]

Yeah, not sure it’s even possible to be tone deaf on a DCUM real estate thread! The ridiculousness is the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

You can be sad, but you can also realize that verbalizing your complaints to those who have much less and would love to have your "problems" will not gain you much sympathy.

Yes. By PP’s rationale, we should have sympathy for Jeff Bezos if he came in here complaining he could only afford a $50M house and not the $75M he wanted. At a certain point complaining about being limited to a $1.2M home sounds incredibly entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re all nice. The only thing wrong with them is the price tag. There is no way any of these places should be more than $750-800K, it’s the disconnect between how long and how much it takes to bay & finance a place like this now, vs the value for that cost. These are clear started homes that now cost as much as a move up home.

1. 750-800k is not “starter home” territory for most.

2. These are all well-maintained homes that can comfortably fit a family, and in good locations.

3. Supply, demand, and the overall market would suggest these may be priced what they “should” be.

Listen, it’s not like I don’t understand frustration with the market we live in. We moved here from Texas (We probably just would have…died if life took us to LA or the Bay Area, I guess.) But then we realized the housing market is what it is and we found a place we were happy to call home. We made some compromises, some that we never envisioned making when we first moved here. But we love our home and are thankful for it.

As a society, we need to invest in a lot more affordable housing as well as densely populated communities with a lot of different types of housing. And we need to disrupt the idea that one is lesser for renting or living in a condo or townhouse. There are obviously a lot of structural changes that need to occur—but shaking one’s fist at the current market will just lead to misery.

Haha, we experienced the same thing when we moved here 20 years ago. My spouse was insulted by what he could get for the money at the time and told me he would “not play this game.” Lol, we ended up buying something of lesser quality for 50% more than if we have gotten it two years prior. This has cost us housing wise in more ways that one ever since. Meaning, although we live in the neighborhood we wanted but not the house in size and quality we desired. Lesson learned.

My DH did something similar when we bought in 2017. He was deadset on a 15 year mortgage at 2k per month. That landed us in a small TH that we quickly outgrew. Had he stretched a bit to maybe 2500 on a 30 year, we could have bought a nice SFH. Now that nice SFH is way out of budget.

It’s always the DHs throwing a monkey wrench into sound housing decisions. Can’t tell you how much it has cost me/us

Same here. I finally had to sit him down and show him that all my RE ideas either were very profitable (the ones we did) or would have been if he didn't get in the way (the ones we didn't do). I had to show him the numbers and he was floored at what we passed up at his own insistence. He vowed to never get in the way again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

You can be sad, but you can also realize that verbalizing your complaints to those who have much less and would love to have your "problems" will not gain you much sympathy.

Yes. By PP’s rationale, we should have sympathy for Jeff Bezos if he came in here complaining he could only afford a $50M house and not the $75M he wanted. At a certain point complaining about being limited to a $1.2M home sounds incredibly entitled.

Ok, but OP isn't complaint she can't afford a $75 million house. She's complaining she can't afford the same house most people on DCUM also want. IMO, only a sociopath actually wants a $75M house. Not so for $1.7 in the DMV this year. Of course, many do without it - I am very happy in our $600k townhouse, but I can sympathize with saving up for something you really want and having the rug pulled out from under you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

You can be sad, but you can also realize that verbalizing your complaints to those who have much less and would love to have your "problems" will not gain you much sympathy.

Yes. By PP’s rationale, we should have sympathy for Jeff Bezos if he came in here complaining he could only afford a $50M house and not the $75M he wanted. At a certain point complaining about being limited to a $1.2M home sounds incredibly entitled.

That’s funny because every time I’ve said I think $1 million is a lot of money posters tell me I’m out of touch. You’re all just a bunch of trolls, I guess.

[Anonymous]

We made a few housing decisions based on my impulsivity (and frankly instability at the time) that turned out to be very profitable. My husband would have NEVER made these choices without me but basically just went along with them (vs. putting up a giant fight).

I think it's fairly typical for men to be more conservative financially than their wives. Not 100% of the time but maybe 70/30. Women are more apt to make emotionally driven decisions regarding large purchases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We made a few housing decisions based on my impulsivity (and frankly instability at the time) that turned out to be very profitable. My husband would have NEVER made these choices without me but basically just went along with them (vs. putting up a giant fight).

I think it's fairly typical for men to be more conservative financially than their wives. Not 100% of the time but maybe 70/30. Women are more apt to make emotionally driven decisions regarding large purchases.

Lol not so in my family, DH has lost so much money based on emotionally driven investment decisions. 0ur friends are the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re all nice. The only thing wrong with them is the price tag. There is no way any of these places should be more than $750-800K, it’s the disconnect between how long and how much it takes to bay & finance a place like this now, vs the value for that cost. These are clear started homes that now cost as much as a move up home.

1. 750-800k is not “starter home” territory for most.

2. These are all well-maintained homes that can comfortably fit a family, and in good locations.

3. Supply, demand, and the overall market would suggest these may be priced what they “should” be.

Listen, it’s not like I don’t understand frustration with the market we live in. We moved here from Texas (We probably just would have…died if life took us to LA or the Bay Area, I guess.) But then we realized the housing market is what it is and we found a place we were happy to call home. We made some compromises, some that we never envisioned making when we first moved here. But we love our home and are thankful for it.

As a society, we need to invest in a lot more affordable housing as well as densely populated communities with a lot of different types of housing. And we need to disrupt the idea that one is lesser for renting or living in a condo or townhouse. There are obviously a lot of structural changes that need to occur—but shaking one’s fist at the current market will just lead to misery.

Haha, we experienced the same thing when we moved here 20 years ago. My spouse was insulted by what he could get for the money at the time and told me he would “not play this game.” Lol, we ended up buying something of lesser quality for 50% more than if we have gotten it two years prior. This has cost us housing wise in more ways that one ever since. Meaning, although we live in the neighborhood we wanted but not the house in size and quality we desired. Lesson learned.

My DH did something similar when we bought in 2017. He was deadset on a 15 year mortgage at 2k per month. That landed us in a small TH that we quickly outgrew. Had he stretched a bit to maybe 2500 on a 30 year, we could have bought a nice SFH. Now that nice SFH is way out of budget.

It’s always the DHs throwing a monkey wrench into sound housing decisions. Can’t tell you how much it has cost me/us

Who cares if this is the real estate forum? It wouldn't be DCUM without some good, old-fashioned man-hating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope none of you OP bashers ever complain about anything in your life ever. I guarantee you every single one if you has a better standard of living than 90% of the people on this planet. There is always someone who is worse off than you. if the rule is you can't be sad about anything if you are richer than someone else, don't ever be sad.

You can be sad, but you can also realize that verbalizing your complaints to those who have much less and would love to have your "problems" will not gain you much sympathy.

Yes. By PP’s rationale, we should have sympathy for Jeff Bezos if he came in here complaining he could only afford a $50M house and not the $75M he wanted. At a certain point complaining about being limited to a $1.2M home sounds incredibly entitled.

Ok, but OP isn't complaint she can't afford a $75 million house. She's complaining she can't afford the same house most people on DCUM also want. IMO, only a sociopath actually wants a $75M house. Not so for $1.7 in the DMV this year. Of course, many do without it - I am very happy in our $600k townhouse, but I can sympathize with saving up for something you really want and having the rug pulled out from under you.

I sympathize with that, too. Also here in my townhouse (in Arlington).

But here's the thing. If OP had said, "I saved up so much, now prices rose so fast, I can't afford what I was hoping for" - that is entirely reasonable and anyone would sympathize with that feeling of disappointment.

But OP said, in the subject line, "I'm shut out" - meaning that she is refusing to settle for anything less. It's all or nothing. No other house that is now within her price range is satisfactory for her. That is what is rubbing people the wrong way. It's overdramatic and entitled to declare that you will be forever renting and shut out of UMC (not to mention single forever), when you could still buy a place and see what happens in a few years.