Is anyone else super triggered by ppl showing off on social media?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it kind of sounds like you're annoyed that others are getting attention for things you do too. Jealousy isn't the right word, maybe validation? Kind of like how when someone has an achievement and gets attention and praise for it so someone butts in with their achievement so they can get praise too. But since you don't post you don't get the attention and that's really what bothers you

This is so untrue. I fly private, and stay in hotel penthouses, and this triggers me when I see it. Showing off is showing off, and it’s awful behavior. If there was no social media, you would not be posting anything and living in the moment and enjoying your memory.

You’re making the assumption that someone is posting to brag when in reality they might not be. You are assigning malicious intent. This is all based on your own morals, values and rigid social media code that you have developed.

And yet you are going out of your way to tell us that you fly private and stay in penthouses.

I think you definitely believe folks shouldn’t be posting certain things on social media and it’s likely because you don’t want them to be on your level. You subconsciously want to be better than others, and it’s obvious you find ways to judge people in order to do that.

Lastly: if you are in therapy, you have issues. Good for you for addressing them in therapy. But some things really shouldn’t require therapy. Sometimes you just need to realize that being easily triggered by silly things is your issue instead of digging in to find support in judging others and making yourself feel better.

Comparable to implicit bias: if you feel bad thoughts creeping up, remind yourself it’s not cool and try to shift your mindset. Don’t feed into it.

In short: try not to be a miserable jerk. Be better.

Op - this post wasn’t me. But thanks!

But I’ve read your other posts, and my advice applies to you. Seriously.

Honestly from your post I think you are kind of a judgemental and miserable jerk.
I at least have the decency to question my judgement and get therapy. You don’t

How old are you? Seriously.

Being triggered by social media indicates *you* have an issue. Ditto for being in therapy. Happy, resilient people aren’t triggered by social media or need therapy.

Again, I applaud your effort to seek help, but at some point you might want to evaluate if therapy is helping. Sometimes it’s actually better to handle yourself rather than seek an audience and validation through a paid therapist. I know several people who wasted years/decades with a therapist when what they really needed to do was stop being so self-centered and fixated on their own thoughts and feelings.

The only reason I’m engaging with you is because you posted here. I don’t judge people irl. If I catch myself going there, I recognize it internally and pivot. Again: it’s a skill people should develop.

Oh dear. Your ignorance is showing.

How's your therapy bill? Maybe that's why you can't afford business class.

No one on here said they can’t afford business class.
Many here said they can but would never post about traveling business class. Literally as tacky as posting a photo of you making it rain with actual cash. I’m serious. It’s that obvious

Ok, they don't see it is tacky, and it drives you nuts. Too bad.

DP here. Tacky people never see their tacky behavior as tacky. Either that or they know its tacky and don't have a problem with being tacky. That doesn't change the fact that it is.

You’l be OK, boo.

Oh, I see. You’re 12. That explains a lot.

Whine more.

You seem to be pretty good at whining yourself. Just scroll on by, boo, if you can't add anything constructive or nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. Therapy is useful for dealing with events in real life. Typically events that you have little control over, at present. Eg not where you want to be in your career, romantic life etc.
Therapy can then be useful to discover why you are unhappy by xyz. But ultimately there needs to be change - either you accept your situation or you make a change so you are happier.

Social media triggering you to the point you need to discuss in therapy- okay, it's worth exploring a bit why it bothers you so much. I don't think it's useful to ask crowd source reactions- you're you, and however other people respond to social medial is irrelevant. Hopefully your therapist is working with you to understand issues like self esteem.

But some PP are wondering why not take the simpler solution' - if it's bothering you, why not just get off social media? Especially if it's the only thing in your life triggering these feelings (if they are, hopefully your therapist has identified that as the issue).

Some things in life take time to change- relationships, careers. It does seem that an obvious solution if it were only social medial causing these negative reactions to get off social media. Not only would you save time and money from therapy, you would have more time in your real life to engage with real people and real events.

It's almost like saying listening to a particular style of music really bothers you. Or a certain TV show really bothers youz creates distress.

OK so turn it off. That's all.

Op - I can’t say this more times.
I work in social media
Also you shouldn’t have to just turn off tv to avoid something that is toxic behavior. It’s also incumbent upon people I think to behave on social media in the same way you would behave in normal life. You can’t stop people from behaving badly overall - but you can point out that acting one way on Instagram and another in real life is a double standard

If you are rich in your normal life, it effectively means you cant post. "Sunday brunch!" isnt a flex, but if you post from a country club, it's taken that way. "Wheels up for vacation time!"--- not allowed if you fly business flass. This is among the reasons I never post. Normal life IS different for different people, and some people find it deeply upsetting to know that other people are doing fine in life.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t really matter who is right or wrong. This isn’t a civil rights call to action. You just need to learn how to change your reaction. Because it’s not your place to try to change what people are posting, and you never could anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. Therapy is useful for dealing with events in real life. Typically events that you have little control over, at present. Eg not where you want to be in your career, romantic life etc.
Therapy can then be useful to discover why you are unhappy by xyz. But ultimately there needs to be change - either you accept your situation or you make a change so you are happier.

Social media triggering you to the point you need to discuss in therapy- okay, it's worth exploring a bit why it bothers you so much. I don't think it's useful to ask crowd source reactions- you're you, and however other people respond to social medial is irrelevant. Hopefully your therapist is working with you to understand issues like self esteem.

But some PP are wondering why not take the simpler solution' - if it's bothering you, why not just get off social media? Especially if it's the only thing in your life triggering these feelings (if they are, hopefully your therapist has identified that as the issue).

Some things in life take time to change- relationships, careers. It does seem that an obvious solution if it were only social medial causing these negative reactions to get off social media. Not only would you save time and money from therapy, you would have more time in your real life to engage with real people and real events.

It's almost like saying listening to a particular style of music really bothers you. Or a certain TV show really bothers youz creates distress.

OK so turn it off. That's all.

Op - I can’t say this more times.
I work in social media
Also you shouldn’t have to just turn off tv to avoid something that is toxic behavior. It’s also incumbent upon people I think to behave on social media in the same way you would behave in normal life. You can’t stop people from behaving badly overall - but you can point out that acting one way on Instagram and another in real life is a double standard

If you are rich in your normal life, it effectively means you cant post. "Sunday brunch!" isnt a flex, but if you post from a country club, it's taken that way. "Wheels up for vacation time!"--- not allowed if you fly business flass. This is among the reasons I never post. Normal life IS different for different people, and some people find it deeply upsetting to know that other people are doing fine in life.

"Sunday brunch!" is not a flex, "Sunday brunch at the club!" is. You could post the exact same photo but the second one is a flex because it highlights the more exclusive aspect of your experience. If you tag the club, that goes double.

"Wheels up for vacation time!" is just a dumb post. Even if the person is flying coach on a budget airline to a domestic destination in the offseason, it's just a dumb, boring post. If it is your very first time flying or a flight is very notable for some other reason, posting about your plane trip is fine -- people will get that it's special to you for this reason. If you travel a lot, posting plane photos is a way for you to highlight that you travel a lot, and therefore is obnoxious. Just post a photo from your desination, which will actually be interesting! Even if it's like "Positano is gorgeous!" and it's a photo of the view from you private boat in the water. People will just like the pretty photo and will not think too hard about how much more privileged you are unless you choose to highlight it by saying "View from our private boat! Had a private chef too and the food was amazing!"

The main issue is that a lot of people cannot resist highlighting the exclusive, rich-person aspects of their lives on social media. That's on you. It's not that other people are upset to know that people are "doing fine in life" (lol, flying business class is rich, not "doing fine", I say this as a rich person, please get some perspective). It's that you cannot resist the opportunity to let people know EXACTLY how "fine" you are doing. It's your failing, not theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s best to limit social media posts to things *anyone* can do.

Yes: “Going to see the new Avatar movie!”

No: “Ski trip in Gstaad!”

That insane.

So no college graduations.

Yes. It’s best to avoid any sort of bragging about yourself or anyone in your immediate family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s best to limit social media posts to things *anyone* can do.

Yes: “Going to see the new Avatar movie!”

No: “Ski trip in Gstaad!”

That insane.

So no college graduations.

Yes. It’s best to avoid any sort of bragging about yourself or anyone in your immediate family.

It's sad that people cant just be happy for their "friends."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. Therapy is useful for dealing with events in real life. Typically events that you have little control over, at present. Eg not where you want to be in your career, romantic life etc.
Therapy can then be useful to discover why you are unhappy by xyz. But ultimately there needs to be change - either you accept your situation or you make a change so you are happier.

Social media triggering you to the point you need to discuss in therapy- okay, it's worth exploring a bit why it bothers you so much. I don't think it's useful to ask crowd source reactions- you're you, and however other people respond to social medial is irrelevant. Hopefully your therapist is working with you to understand issues like self esteem.

But some PP are wondering why not take the simpler solution' - if it's bothering you, why not just get off social media? Especially if it's the only thing in your life triggering these feelings (if they are, hopefully your therapist has identified that as the issue).

Some things in life take time to change- relationships, careers. It does seem that an obvious solution if it were only social medial causing these negative reactions to get off social media. Not only would you save time and money from therapy, you would have more time in your real life to engage with real people and real events.

It's almost like saying listening to a particular style of music really bothers you. Or a certain TV show really bothers youz creates distress.

OK so turn it off. That's all.

Op - I can’t say this more times.
I work in social media
Also you shouldn’t have to just turn off tv to avoid something that is toxic behavior. It’s also incumbent upon people I think to behave on social media in the same way you would behave in normal life. You can’t stop people from behaving badly overall - but you can point out that acting one way on Instagram and another in real life is a double standard

If you are rich in your normal life, it effectively means you cant post. "Sunday brunch!" isnt a flex, but if you post from a country club, it's taken that way. "Wheels up for vacation time!"--- not allowed if you fly business flass. This is among the reasons I never post. Normal life IS different for different people, and some people find it deeply upsetting to know that other people are doing fine in life.

"Sunday brunch!" is not a flex, "Sunday brunch at the club!" is. You could post the exact same photo but the second one is a flex because it highlights the more exclusive aspect of your experience. If you tag the club, that goes double.

"Wheels up for vacation time!" is just a dumb post. Even if the person is flying coach on a budget airline to a domestic destination in the offseason, it's just a dumb, boring post. If it is your very first time flying or a flight is very notable for some other reason, posting about your plane trip is fine -- people will get that it's special to you for this reason. If you travel a lot, posting plane photos is a way for you to highlight that you travel a lot, and therefore is obnoxious. Just post a photo from your desination, which will actually be interesting! Even if it's like "Positano is gorgeous!" and it's a photo of the view from you private boat in the water. People will just like the pretty photo and will not think too hard about how much more privileged you are unless you choose to highlight it by saying "View from our private boat! Had a private chef too and the food was amazing!"

The main issue is that a lot of people cannot resist highlighting the exclusive, rich-person aspects of their lives on social media. That's on you. It's not that other people are upset to know that people are "doing fine in life" (lol, flying business class is rich, not "doing fine", I say this as a rich person, please get some perspective). It's that you cannot resist the opportunity to let people know EXACTLY how "fine" you are doing. It's your failing, not theirs.

I think "Positano is gorgeous!" would count as a flex under this ruling. If eating chicken strips in a Delta lounge is too fancy, Positano is definitely too fancy. You'd probably have to keep it to "these Cracker Barrell mimosas are lit!" and "look at the view at the Higgens County public pool" to be safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s best to limit social media posts to things *anyone* can do.

Yes: “Going to see the new Avatar movie!”

No: “Ski trip in Gstaad!”

That insane.

So no college graduations.

Yes. It’s best to avoid any sort of bragging about yourself or anyone in your immediate family.

It's sad that people cant just be happy for their "friends."

The problem with social media is that we’re connected to more than our true friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s best to limit social media posts to things *anyone* can do.

Yes: “Going to see the new Avatar movie!”

No: “Ski trip in Gstaad!”

That insane.

So no college graduations.

Yes. It’s best to avoid any sort of bragging about yourself or anyone in your immediate family.

It's sad that people cant just be happy for their "friends."

I’m happy for my friends. But I’m sometimes sad that they have to post things on the internet in order to know that people feel happy for them.

[Anonymous]

Don’t have time to read whole thread, but being “triggered” by social media posts is a bit much. If you’re that bothered, keep scrolling. Also, there is a reason Facebook is also called “Bragbook.” That said, I’m only on Instagram and not Facebook. Maybe I don’t have braggy friends, but my feed is pretty boring. Most seem over social media and rarely post. Thus when somebody does post a life update, event, trip- it’s nice to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. Therapy is useful for dealing with events in real life. Typically events that you have little control over, at present. Eg not where you want to be in your career, romantic life etc.
Therapy can then be useful to discover why you are unhappy by xyz. But ultimately there needs to be change - either you accept your situation or you make a change so you are happier.

Social media triggering you to the point you need to discuss in therapy- okay, it's worth exploring a bit why it bothers you so much. I don't think it's useful to ask crowd source reactions- you're you, and however other people respond to social medial is irrelevant. Hopefully your therapist is working with you to understand issues like self esteem.

But some PP are wondering why not take the simpler solution' - if it's bothering you, why not just get off social media? Especially if it's the only thing in your life triggering these feelings (if they are, hopefully your therapist has identified that as the issue).

Some things in life take time to change- relationships, careers. It does seem that an obvious solution if it were only social medial causing these negative reactions to get off social media. Not only would you save time and money from therapy, you would have more time in your real life to engage with real people and real events.

It's almost like saying listening to a particular style of music really bothers you. Or a certain TV show really bothers youz creates distress.

OK so turn it off. That's all.

Op - I can’t say this more times.
I work in social media
Also you shouldn’t have to just turn off tv to avoid something that is toxic behavior. It’s also incumbent upon people I think to behave on social media in the same way you would behave in normal life. You can’t stop people from behaving badly overall - but you can point out that acting one way on Instagram and another in real life is a double standard

If you are rich in your normal life, it effectively means you cant post. "Sunday brunch!" isnt a flex, but if you post from a country club, it's taken that way. "Wheels up for vacation time!"--- not allowed if you fly business flass. This is among the reasons I never post. Normal life IS different for different people, and some people find it deeply upsetting to know that other people are doing fine in life.

"Sunday brunch!" is not a flex, "Sunday brunch at the club!" is. You could post the exact same photo but the second one is a flex because it highlights the more exclusive aspect of your experience. If you tag the club, that goes double.

"Wheels up for vacation time!" is just a dumb post. Even if the person is flying coach on a budget airline to a domestic destination in the offseason, it's just a dumb, boring post. If it is your very first time flying or a flight is very notable for some other reason, posting about your plane trip is fine -- people will get that it's special to you for this reason. If you travel a lot, posting plane photos is a way for you to highlight that you travel a lot, and therefore is obnoxious. Just post a photo from your desination, which will actually be interesting! Even if it's like "Positano is gorgeous!" and it's a photo of the view from you private boat in the water. People will just like the pretty photo and will not think too hard about how much more privileged you are unless you choose to highlight it by saying "View from our private boat! Had a private chef too and the food was amazing!"

The main issue is that a lot of people cannot resist highlighting the exclusive, rich-person aspects of their lives on social media. That's on you. It's not that other people are upset to know that people are "doing fine in life" (lol, flying business class is rich, not "doing fine", I say this as a rich person, please get some perspective). It's that you cannot resist the opportunity to let people know EXACTLY how "fine" you are doing. It's your failing, not theirs.

I think "Positano is gorgeous!" would count as a flex under this ruling. If eating chicken strips in a Delta lounge is too fancy, Positano is definitely too fancy. You'd probably have to keep it to "these Cracker Barrell mimosas are lit!" and "look at the view at the Higgens County public pool" to be safe.

You sound so bitter. Look, you can talk up your rich person things on social media if you want, but yes, it will invite jealousy and resentment unless your social media is restricted only to people who are the same level of rich as you are. Not everyone will feel that way, but some people will. The more braggy you are, the more resentful people will be. This is just how it is. You can be bitter about that or you can learn to live with it. It's honestly a very tiny price to pay for being privileged.

When people get very mad about how they "can't" post about all their rich person activities online without people getting jealous or resentful, I assume that it's because they WANT to brag. They actually want the jealousy on some level. They want people to be like "omg I'm so jealous" but like in a friendly, nice way. You want people to admire you and wish they had your life, but you also want them to think "well she's superior to me and deserves to have a nicer life." It's such an unrealistic expectation. That's not how most people work because they have egos and self-regard, just like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been talking about this with my therapist. I get very very irritated by ppl showing off on social - especially if the showing off is not subtle or ‘well disguised’. It’s partly that I work in marketing (so it annoys me professionally) but like - next level. Case in point - when people tag business class lounges in social media posts. I travel often and usually biz class but I would never ever ever do this. Curious if anyone else finds this type of thing vvvv annoying?
If you do not find it annoying - no need to comment. Really just interested to hear from anyone who does. I would love figure out why I am so triggered and thus move past this

It's very clear you need to find a new therapist.

[Anonymous]

I feel like Instagram is way worse than Facebook for this stuff honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP. Therapy is useful for dealing with events in real life. Typically events that you have little control over, at present. Eg not where you want to be in your career, romantic life etc.
Therapy can then be useful to discover why you are unhappy by xyz. But ultimately there needs to be change - either you accept your situation or you make a change so you are happier.

Social media triggering you to the point you need to discuss in therapy- okay, it's worth exploring a bit why it bothers you so much. I don't think it's useful to ask crowd source reactions- you're you, and however other people respond to social medial is irrelevant. Hopefully your therapist is working with you to understand issues like self esteem.

But some PP are wondering why not take the simpler solution' - if it's bothering you, why not just get off social media? Especially if it's the only thing in your life triggering these feelings (if they are, hopefully your therapist has identified that as the issue).

Some things in life take time to change- relationships, careers. It does seem that an obvious solution if it were only social medial causing these negative reactions to get off social media. Not only would you save time and money from therapy, you would have more time in your real life to engage with real people and real events.

It's almost like saying listening to a particular style of music really bothers you. Or a certain TV show really bothers youz creates distress.

OK so turn it off. That's all.

Op - I can’t say this more times.
I work in social media
Also you shouldn’t have to just turn off tv to avoid something that is toxic behavior. It’s also incumbent upon people I think to behave on social media in the same way you would behave in normal life. You can’t stop people from behaving badly overall - but you can point out that acting one way on Instagram and another in real life is a double standard

If job is creating stress, maybe it is time to consider a different line of work. Don't say no immediately to this option. Consider it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it kind of sounds like you're annoyed that others are getting attention for things you do too. Jealousy isn't the right word, maybe validation? Kind of like how when someone has an achievement and gets attention and praise for it so someone butts in with their achievement so they can get praise too. But since you don't post you don't get the attention and that's really what bothers you

This is so untrue. I fly private, and stay in hotel penthouses, and this triggers me when I see it. Showing off is showing off, and it’s awful behavior. If there was no social media, you would not be posting anything and living in the moment and enjoying your memory.

You’re making the assumption that someone is posting to brag when in reality they might not be. You are assigning malicious intent. This is all based on your own morals, values and rigid social media code that you have developed.

And yet you are going out of your way to tell us that you fly private and stay in penthouses.

I think you definitely believe folks shouldn’t be posting certain things on social media and it’s likely because you don’t want them to be on your level. You subconsciously want to be better than others, and it’s obvious you find ways to judge people in order to do that.

Lastly: if you are in therapy, you have issues. Good for you for addressing them in therapy. But some things really shouldn’t require therapy. Sometimes you just need to realize that being easily triggered by silly things is your issue instead of digging in to find support in judging others and making yourself feel better.

Comparable to implicit bias: if you feel bad thoughts creeping up, remind yourself it’s not cool and try to shift your mindset. Don’t feed into it.

In short: try not to be a miserable jerk. Be better.

Op - this post wasn’t me. But thanks!

But I’ve read your other posts, and my advice applies to you. Seriously.

Honestly from your post I think you are kind of a judgemental and miserable jerk.
I at least have the decency to question my judgement and get therapy. You don’t

How old are you? Seriously.

Being triggered by social media indicates *you* have an issue. Ditto for being in therapy. Happy, resilient people aren’t triggered by social media or need therapy.

Again, I applaud your effort to seek help, but at some point you might want to evaluate if therapy is helping. Sometimes it’s actually better to handle yourself rather than seek an audience and validation through a paid therapist. I know several people who wasted years/decades with a therapist when what they really needed to do was stop being so self-centered and fixated on their own thoughts and feelings.

The only reason I’m engaging with you is because you posted here. I don’t judge people irl. If I catch myself going there, I recognize it internally and pivot. Again: it’s a skill people should develop.

Oh dear. Your ignorance is showing.

How's your therapy bill? Maybe that's why you can't afford business class.

No one on here said they can’t afford business class.
Many here said they can but would never post about traveling business class. Literally as tacky as posting a photo of you making it rain with actual cash. I’m serious. It’s that obvious

Ok, they don't see it is tacky, and it drives you nuts. Too bad.

DP here. Tacky people never see their tacky behavior as tacky. Either that or they know its tacky and don't have a problem with being tacky. That doesn't change the fact that it is.

You’l be OK, boo.

Oh, I see. You’re 12. That explains a lot.

Whine more.

You seem to be pretty good at whining yourself. Just scroll on by, boo, if you can't add anything constructive or nice.

I didn’t whine once. You can’t handle triggering social media posts. Maybe DCUM is also too triggering.

(Also, I enjoy your dorky use of boo.) 😆😆