Supporting colleague who discovered husband’s affair with a 19 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep your heads everybody. I do hate to see these older men taken advantage of, though.

Imagine the power that these young women have to be able to coerce and exploit these wealthy men. Gives me pause.

Oh nooooo won’t someone think of the poor older men????
F them and F you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep your heads everybody. I do hate to see these older men taken advantage of, though.

Imagine the power that these young women have to be able to coerce and exploit these wealthy men. Gives me pause.

Oh nooooo won’t someone think of the poor older men????
F them and F you

Kind of a prudish Victorian premise that a young woman's sexuality must be so preciously guarded that no 40 year old man may touch it.

She's 19! Let her decide! Her body her choice, no shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would remind your friend to make her husband suffer in the ninth circle of hell, but not the 19 year old. It's practically statutory rape. If this was in a professional setting, she might even have grounds to sue for coercion. If this is an au pair, the power imbalance is straight up employer-employee and it's gross on the part of the employer.

Ridiculous. Remember what we've learned. If she's 17 years and 364 days old, he's a "p*dophile". Two days later it's two consenting adults. There is no nuance.

I never said there was a legal basis. But her 19 year old brain is not mature, and it's always the married partner who is most to blame, since he or she is the one betraying their spouse. I'm assuming here that the 19 year old is not married.

What you're saying is not true. Yes it's not mature but 19-year-olds still have ethics and morals. When I was 14 and 15 I was flirted with And proposition by men. Much much older and it gave me the ick. Married men still flirt. It's up to the woman to say no.

No. Stop blaming women during these affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would remind your friend to make her husband suffer in the ninth circle of hell, but not the 19 year old. It's practically statutory rape. If this was in a professional setting, she might even have grounds to sue for coercion. If this is an au pair, the power imbalance is straight up employer-employee and it's gross on the part of the employer.

Ridiculous. Remember what we've learned. If she's 17 years and 364 days old, he's a "p*dophile". Two days later it's two consenting adults. There is no nuance.

I never said there was a legal basis. But her 19 year old brain is not mature, and it's always the married partner who is most to blame, since he or she is the one betraying their spouse. I'm assuming here that the 19 year old is not married.

What you're saying is not true. Yes it's not mature but 19-year-olds still have ethics and morals. When I was 14 and 15 I was flirted with And proposition by men. Much much older and it gave me the ick. Married men still flirt. It's up to the woman to say no.

No. Stop blaming women during these affairs.

Takes two to tango and they're both scummy people. He must be her sugar daddy otherwise no 19 wants an old man with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would remind your friend to make her husband suffer in the ninth circle of hell, but not the 19 year old. It's practically statutory rape. If this was in a professional setting, she might even have grounds to sue for coercion. If this is an au pair, the power imbalance is straight up employer-employee and it's gross on the part of the employer.

Ridiculous. Remember what we've learned. If she's 17 years and 364 days old, he's a "p*dophile". Two days later it's two consenting adults. There is no nuance.

I never said there was a legal basis. But her 19 year old brain is not mature, and it's always the married partner who is most to blame, since he or she is the one betraying their spouse. I'm assuming here that the 19 year old is not married.

What you're saying is not true. Yes it's not mature but 19-year-olds still have ethics and morals. When I was 14 and 15 I was flirted with And proposition by men. Much much older and it gave me the ick. Married men still flirt. It's up to the woman to say no.

No. Stop blaming women during these affairs.

Takes two to tango and they're both scummy people. He must be her sugar daddy otherwise no 19 wants an old man with kids.

He's probably packing that lumber. Who could blame her once she gets a taste?

Plenty of hot guys on campus but they're not giving her a credit card to go shopping.

Hey, it's not me blaming her for wanting both/and. Tell the prudes up thread. I say that she is a free person. Thank you Susan B. Anthony.

[Anonymous]

Gross that he sought someone the same age as his kids. Plenty of 30+ year old women. Disgusting

[Anonymous]

As someone in a tricky situation like this, I would really appreciate it if someone completely outside my close friend circle and legal process took it upon themselves to anonymously cause him minor, legal, but painful consequences.

Peanut butter under the car door handle. TP the new apartment yard. Send him a gift subscription to Tiny Organ Support Club Magazine, etc.

[Anonymous]

Not excusing it, but that fact that she didn't suspect anything is voluntary blind ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gross that he sought someone the same age as his kids. Plenty of 30+ year old women. Disgusting

Gross that she sought out someone the same age as her father. Plenty of under 30 men. I think I'm going to be sick.

[Anonymous]

How did she find out?

[Anonymous]

Do not, I repeat DO NOT breathe a word of this to anyone you know unless she is fine with it being public knowledge. If I told someone something like that I would be devastated to find out that they had discussed it behind my back (DCUM doesn't count unless you actually live there, in which case, yikes, maybe get this taken down in case she sees it!).

[Anonymous]

Divorce and get your fair share of the assetts. The 19-year old can keep the creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did she find out?

He actually found her on TikTok and started messaging her there. My colleague eventually saw the messages when she picked up his phone one day — she didn’t even know he used TikTok. He’d rarely be home because of his job and spent a lot of time meeting up with her on weekends, including at her dorm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did she find out?

He actually found her on TikTok and started messaging her there. My colleague eventually saw the messages when she picked up his phone one day — she didn’t even know he used TikTok. He’d rarely be home because of his job and spent a lot of time meeting up with her on weekends, including at her dorm.

Yeah, divorce is the only sane option here. Lock up trust funds for the kids before the sugar babies get everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help her realize this does not have to destroy her life. We've been culturally condition in the U.S. to think of this as some kind of ultimate betrayal.

But in many cultures--France, Japan, etc., this kind of things is not uncommon or even so taboo. Help her to not overreact. Keep it in perspective.

There are ways to make a cheater suffer without divorcing them. But yes, this is grounds for divorce.

Please enlighten us how to make this cheater suffer! I see divorce as the only way!