Do You Miss the Lust?

[Anonymous]

I missed lust in a chemical level until I was like 35 and now I feel like I’ve matured out of those hormones (I’m 36). Now I miss the idea of lust and youth and yearning.

Watching the summer I turned pretty brought it all back though!

[Anonymous]

I miss lubricity lust. Last time I really felt it was when I was 51-1/2 and yes, for my spouse. Hormones going, going... That was a last gasp. I never imagined that.

[Anonymous]

who doesnt!

[Anonymous]

I hear what you are saying. In my 40s and my sex drive is so high right now, it must be the hormones.

I am married but there is man that I find very attractive whom I run into often and I know he is very attracted to me as well. I can tell by the way he interacts with me. It is so hard to not think about him often and remember what it was like to be with someone who was new. I have been faithful but it is hard not to fantasize about being young and single again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know-maybe I’ve been watching too much Bridgerton and Heated Rivalry, but I miss those days of lust and yearning. Just pure hot lust and wanting someone so badly. I’m in my mid-40s been married 20 years and we have a great life, but damn it what I would give for some hot, yearning sex and no it’s not going to happen with someone I’ve been married to for that long. Unfortunately those days are over and while we have good sex, it’s not like hot like when we were younger. Sigh I’ll get over it but I wish I hadn’t taken my younger days for granted.

Cheating often starts with these thoughts. I feel sorry for your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

[Anonymous]

Side piece

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

Absolutely. Americans have all gone out of shape and ugly, but men especially are told women don’t care about looks. In mid-life, women absolutely care about looks. Think your drive is gone? Just find a fit, enthusiastic man. It will change your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Side piece

But everyone here thinks you’re the devil incarnate for allowing yourself to be human. Ideally, we’d all be smart enough to foster an environment in our monogamous relationships that gives us enough distance, mystery, emotional intimacy, etc. to find that lust on and off. But humans are lazy by nature (men especially).

[Anonymous]

Yes OP totally and completely. My husband doesn’t though he’s glad to have moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got divorced last year then had a fling with a man who awakened this lust in me. It was incredible. But he was a bad boy in every sense of the word and not a suitable long term partner.

I’m now dating someone much more sensible and it’s been more challenging to awaken that lust. Interestingly, it seems to come back more when we get space and both operate as separate people, rather than one unit. More space always seems to help my lust come back.

A friend of mine forever bachelor is f**g a married woman. He is the kind of bad of boy you are describing. Women will give the best sex to a bad boy, but they will endlessly complain about the "regular" boring guy who is faithful.

PP. So, I have tried to give the "best" sex to the sensible, good guy. But good/regular guys usually lack the same inhibition, assertiveness, and risk-taking in bed that bad boys have.

As an example, the "bad boy" I had a fling with was very free and open with dirty talk. The "good guy" I'm dating feels awkward with dirty talk and worries it's disrespectful.

So like, I can say or do raunchy things, but when I'm met with silence, awkwardness, or he's obviously uncomfortable, there's not much else I can do to make sex better. I love exploring new things but the good guys generally just want vanilla. Often not even vanilla, it's more like....skim milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss kissing.

Me too. My husband has a two or three smooch pattern then hugs me. No heat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

Absolutely. Americans have all gone out of shape and ugly, but men especially are told women don’t care about looks. In mid-life, women absolutely care about looks. Think your drive is gone? Just find a fit, enthusiastic man. It will change your life.

So gross to see women continually told their sexuality depends on what's being done to them, and by whom, and not, you know, something they're responsible for and can control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

Absolutely. Americans have all gone out of shape and ugly, but men especially are told women don’t care about looks. In mid-life, women absolutely care about looks. Think your drive is gone? Just find a fit, enthusiastic man. It will change your life.

So gross to see women continually told their sexuality depends on what's being done to them, and by whom, and not, you know, something they're responsible for and can control.

I just can't make myself want a fat guy with dad bod. Sorry not sorry. I'm thin and fit and want to sleep with fit men.

[Anonymous]

Yes. And novelty. Fortunately, I have a very active imagination.