Do You Miss the Lust?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

[Anonymous]

Side piece

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

Absolutely. Americans have all gone out of shape and ugly, but men especially are told women don’t care about looks. In mid-life, women absolutely care about looks. Think your drive is gone? Just find a fit, enthusiastic man. It will change your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Side piece

But everyone here thinks you’re the devil incarnate for allowing yourself to be human. Ideally, we’d all be smart enough to foster an environment in our monogamous relationships that gives us enough distance, mystery, emotional intimacy, etc. to find that lust on and off. But humans are lazy by nature (men especially).

[Anonymous]

Yes OP totally and completely. My husband doesn’t though he’s glad to have moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got divorced last year then had a fling with a man who awakened this lust in me. It was incredible. But he was a bad boy in every sense of the word and not a suitable long term partner.

I’m now dating someone much more sensible and it’s been more challenging to awaken that lust. Interestingly, it seems to come back more when we get space and both operate as separate people, rather than one unit. More space always seems to help my lust come back.

A friend of mine forever bachelor is f**g a married woman. He is the kind of bad of boy you are describing. Women will give the best sex to a bad boy, but they will endlessly complain about the "regular" boring guy who is faithful.

PP. So, I have tried to give the "best" sex to the sensible, good guy. But good/regular guys usually lack the same inhibition, assertiveness, and risk-taking in bed that bad boys have.

As an example, the "bad boy" I had a fling with was very free and open with dirty talk. The "good guy" I'm dating feels awkward with dirty talk and worries it's disrespectful.

So like, I can say or do raunchy things, but when I'm met with silence, awkwardness, or he's obviously uncomfortable, there's not much else I can do to make sex better. I love exploring new things but the good guys generally just want vanilla. Often not even vanilla, it's more like....skim milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss kissing.

Me too. My husband has a two or three smooch pattern then hugs me. No heat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

Absolutely. Americans have all gone out of shape and ugly, but men especially are told women don’t care about looks. In mid-life, women absolutely care about looks. Think your drive is gone? Just find a fit, enthusiastic man. It will change your life.

So gross to see women continually told their sexuality depends on what's being done to them, and by whom, and not, you know, something they're responsible for and can control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

Absolutely. Americans have all gone out of shape and ugly, but men especially are told women don’t care about looks. In mid-life, women absolutely care about looks. Think your drive is gone? Just find a fit, enthusiastic man. It will change your life.

So gross to see women continually told their sexuality depends on what's being done to them, and by whom, and not, you know, something they're responsible for and can control.

I just can't make myself want a fat guy with dad bod. Sorry not sorry. I'm thin and fit and want to sleep with fit men.

[Anonymous]

Yes. And novelty. Fortunately, I have a very active imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

Absolutely. Americans have all gone out of shape and ugly, but men especially are told women don’t care about looks. In mid-life, women absolutely care about looks. Think your drive is gone? Just find a fit, enthusiastic man. It will change your life.

So gross to see women continually told their sexuality depends on what's being done to them, and by whom, and not, you know, something they're responsible for and can control.

I just can't make myself want a fat guy with dad bod. Sorry not sorry. I'm thin and fit and want to sleep with fit men.

They love to sleep with you, but never love you. Talk about fulfilling!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Ehhh, the older I get in life the more I realize personality is overrated. Ugly or mediocre guys with brains are everywhere. And even then, there is no guarantee an ugly or mediocre guy will actually turn out to be interesting. A tall, gorgeous guy with a six-pack is like an endangered species. If he also happens to have a brain, well it's like winning the lottery, but I am certainly not letting him go because he's not the brightest bulb in the socket.

Absolutely. Americans have all gone out of shape and ugly, but men especially are told women don’t care about looks. In mid-life, women absolutely care about looks. Think your drive is gone? Just find a fit, enthusiastic man. It will change your life.

So gross to see women continually told their sexuality depends on what's being done to them, and by whom, and not, you know, something they're responsible for and can control.

I just can't make myself want a fat guy with dad bod. Sorry not sorry. I'm thin and fit and want to sleep with fit men.

They love to sleep with you, but never love you. Talk about fulfilling!

That’s fine. Men’s love is overrated - they’ll dump you for the next shiny thing anyway if given opportunity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got divorced last year then had a fling with a man who awakened this lust in me. It was incredible. But he was a bad boy in every sense of the word and not a suitable long term partner.

I’m now dating someone much more sensible and it’s been more challenging to awaken that lust. Interestingly, it seems to come back more when we get space and both operate as separate people, rather than one unit. More space always seems to help my lust come back.

A friend of mine forever bachelor is f**g a married woman. He is the kind of bad of boy you are describing. Women will give the best sex to a bad boy, but they will endlessly complain about the "regular" boring guy who is faithful.

PP. So, I have tried to give the "best" sex to the sensible, good guy. But good/regular guys usually lack the same inhibition, assertiveness, and risk-taking in bed that bad boys have.

As an example, the "bad boy" I had a fling with was very free and open with dirty talk. The "good guy" I'm dating feels awkward with dirty talk and worries it's disrespectful.

So like, I can say or do raunchy things, but when I'm met with silence, awkwardness, or he's obviously uncomfortable, there's not much else I can do to make sex better. I love exploring new things but the good guys generally just want vanilla. Often not even vanilla, it's more like....skim milk.

There are lots of men who are kind and considerate and still comfortable with sex and being assertive. But they're not going to initially hit on you in ways that cross boundaries, so you're going to have to do more of the work to express interest and tell them what you like.

[Anonymous]

I miss this with my wife. She has gained a lot of weight and can't even do 1/2 of the positions we used to do. In addition, she's always complaining and doesn't exercise or eat less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got divorced last year then had a fling with a man who awakened this lust in me. It was incredible. But he was a bad boy in every sense of the word and not a suitable long term partner.

I’m now dating someone much more sensible and it’s been more challenging to awaken that lust. Interestingly, it seems to come back more when we get space and both operate as separate people, rather than one unit. More space always seems to help my lust come back.

A friend of mine forever bachelor is f**g a married woman. He is the kind of bad of boy you are describing. Women will give the best sex to a bad boy, but they will endlessly complain about the "regular" boring guy who is faithful.

PP. So, I have tried to give the "best" sex to the sensible, good guy. But good/regular guys usually lack the same inhibition, assertiveness, and risk-taking in bed that bad boys have.

As an example, the "bad boy" I had a fling with was very free and open with dirty talk. The "good guy" I'm dating feels awkward with dirty talk and worries it's disrespectful.

So like, I can say or do raunchy things, but when I'm met with silence, awkwardness, or he's obviously uncomfortable, there's not much else I can do to make sex better. I love exploring new things but the good guys generally just want vanilla. Often not even vanilla, it's more like....skim milk.

There are lots of men who are kind and considerate and still comfortable with sex and being assertive. But they're not going to initially hit on you in ways that cross boundaries, so you're going to have to do more of the work to express interest and tell them what you like.

What was the Louis CK bit - "I'm not going to rape you on the off chance that hopefully you're into that shit."