Stepdaughter’s Clingyness Towards DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do all you folks that think a 16 year old clinging to her father and sitting in his lap is sweet overlap with the folks that won't let their daughters go to sleepovers if there is a man in the house?

This is her dad, what does one have to do with the other? Obviously would be creepy if she did this with other dads or DH did this with other girls.

Right, this is completely normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are jealous of his daughter? Go away step monster.

I mean, I agree she should leave him. But the monster is not the wife who’s uncomfortable with dads and daughters doing this:



Apparently incest adjacent behavior is mainstream now. Curious where you draw the line?

[Anonymous]

Of my four kids, my 18 year old DD is the most physically affectionate. She still sometimes sits in our laps and cuddles, I don’t think that’s weird. However, doing that in public is inappropriate, and so does climbing into our bed with you and your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of my four kids, my 18 year old DD is the most physically affectionate. She still sometimes sits in our laps and cuddles, I don’t think that’s weird. However, doing that in public is inappropriate, and so does climbing into our bed with you and your DH.

My DH solve the crossword and watch TV in bed. We love when our teens and do them with us. Some of you are missing out on great quality time with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who encourage divorce because “kids want their parents to be happy” should read what this shrew stepmother is posting.

Divorce is a screw to kids…but the major screw is when their selfish parents remarry when they are minors.

[Anonymous]

Just to clarify, I don’t have an issue with the affection she shows toward DH, but I do think some of it might be a bit age-inappropriate—like always wanting to sit by him or sitting on his lap around family or friends (home is fine) or climbing into our bed when we’re cuddling, pushing other kids away during hugs, etc. That’s why I’m asking other parents for their thoughts. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who encourage divorce because “kids want their parents to be happy” should read what this shrew stepmother is posting.

Divorce is a screw to kids…but the major screw is when their selfish parents remarry when they are minors.

+1. It's a little developmentally inappropriate but when you're parents blew up your family and your dad took up with another woman? It's to be expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of my four kids, my 18 year old DD is the most physically affectionate. She still sometimes sits in our laps and cuddles, I don’t think that’s weird. However, doing that in public is inappropriate, and so does climbing into our bed with you and your DH.

My DH solve the crossword and watch TV in bed. We love when our teens and do them with us. Some of you are missing out on great quality time with your kids.

I think the rest of us are VERY happy to be missing out on father daughter bonding time in bed.

[Anonymous]

It’s strange that you are focused on whether the actions are appropriate rather than why she might be doing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of my four kids, my 18 year old DD is the most physically affectionate. She still sometimes sits in our laps and cuddles, I don’t think that’s weird. However, doing that in public is inappropriate, and so does climbing into our bed with you and your DH.

My DH solve the crossword and watch TV in bed. We love when our teens and do them with us. Some of you are missing out on great quality time with your kids.

I think the rest of us are VERY happy to be missing out on father daughter bonding time in bed.

Oh hon. You are the one with the dirty mind. Has the DH said he’d be dating his daughter or that she has a great body? People have now decided to look at these pictures 30 years later because of Trump’s sexual comments about Ivanka.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s strange that you are focused on whether the actions are appropriate rather than why she might be doing this.

Her father is doing this because he’s a creep.

But the OP is married to him and has children with him, which is very difficult to face emotionally. If the OP was honest with herself, she might have to consider breaking up her family. That’s really scary on all levels, emotionally, financially and legally.

Framing her stepdaughter as the problem is easy and much less emotionally fraught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound jealous, OP. If she was daughter to you both you wouldn't think anything of it. She also wouldn't feel insecure that she has lost him. I'm guessing you send off the vibe of disapproving, which causes her to do it even more. You need to let it go. No way is her dad going to say anything to her. And if you do, you are major league the bad guy.

I would be disturbed if my teenage daughter sat on my husband’s lap or held his hand. Maybe I’m just not from a super touchy family, but this sounds gross.

Thanks. I thought I was the only one who thought sitting on dad's lap at age 16 as being - ah - odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound jealous, OP. If she was daughter to you both you wouldn't think anything of it. She also wouldn't feel insecure that she has lost him. I'm guessing you send off the vibe of disapproving, which causes her to do it even more. You need to let it go. No way is her dad going to say anything to her. And if you do, you are major league the bad guy.

I would be disturbed if my teenage daughter sat on my husband’s lap or held his hand. Maybe I’m just not from a super touchy family, but this sounds gross.

Thanks. I thought I was the only one who thought sitting on dad's lap at age 16 as being - ah - odd.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this IS inappropriate. It is also concerning why Dad has not set boundaries with his daughter. This is NOT age appropriate and her behavior needs to be addressed (by him). This is not about step mom being jealous so everyone needs to back off on that but I do think the daughter is jealous of your role in her Dad's life and is trying to assert her position.
Many have disagreed but honestly to be 16 and sitting on Dad's lap, holding hands the cuddling is not appropriate between father and teenage daughter. Another concern is that Dad has not taught her boundaries with her body and behavior and puts her at risk in relationships with boys if she has not learned this at home.

[Anonymous]

DH does set boundaries and says no sometimes, but she gets pouty, throws a fit (she does this over other things too) or gets upset.-OP