S/O What motivates men to string women along for years?

[Anonymous]

Women need to plan their future, speak it and act on it and not sit around passive waiting for some old fashioned proposal. Decide together, have the conversation, probably many conversations

And a rant. This return to asking her Father for his blessing, this just sickens me. Even decades ago, my friends and I would not have put up with this line of thinking. And I say this even when husbands had good enough relationships w/our parents.

[Anonymous]

Why do so many women want to get married, still — still — given how bad marriage is for most women. I feel like there is a disconnect here that needs to be fixed. It’s just accepted without any thought. And then they go campaigning to get married and blame their boyfriends for stringing them along, etc.

The institution is broken. Give up. You have a preview of the future right in front of you with your indecisive boyfriend. Men are not going to help you with your mental load. They’re going to feign incompetence so you have to do the summer camps and Christmas and the birthday parties and every single other thing you haven’t specifically asked them to do. You’re on your own whether you are married or not. Stop being so pathetic and begging a man for something you are going to hate. You’re not doing him any favors either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read the thread about the 26yo whose 34yo boyfriend still hasn’t proposed after 3 years of dating and it has got me thinking about why men do this.

I know many women who’ve experienced this. The guy would always know that his girlfriend wants commitment and he knew he wasn’t planning to her give her that, yet, would continue to date her and waste years of her time.

Why aren’t they just upfront about their intentions and end the relationship?

You need to work on your reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went through this with an ex. He strung me along for 4 years.

I think for him, it was just that he followed the path of least resistance. I wouldn't move in unless he agreed to get engaged, so he agreed. Then once I did move in, he didn't propose because it was just too much work. But he wouldn't break up because that was also too much work. The easiest thing was just to coast for 3 more years and deal with my outbursts every 3-4 months, until I had enough and left him. Then he bought a cheap ring and proposed in a really lame way to try to keep me from leaving.

Someone here once described it as, there are people who slide into a relationship (just do what is easy) vs people who decide into a relationship (make a conscious decision). He was a slider, and I could never get him to have an actual conversation about what he wanted.

Men like this are scum. Just keep you a little bit..

[Anonymous]

Just propose to him. Will you marry me? No? Ok bye. Don’t twist his arm and make him propose to you, that’s really just you proposing and lying about who is doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just propose to him. Will you marry me? No? Ok bye. Don’t twist his arm and make him propose to you, that’s really just you proposing and lying about who is doing it.

A man who wants to propose will do so. No reason to make it weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just propose to him. Will you marry me? No? Ok bye. Don’t twist his arm and make him propose to you, that’s really just you proposing and lying about who is doing it.

A man who wants to propose will do so. No reason to make it weird.

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read the thread about the 26yo whose 34yo boyfriend still hasn’t proposed after 3 years of dating and it has got me thinking about why men do this.

I know many women who’ve experienced this. The guy would always know that his girlfriend wants commitment and he knew he wasn’t planning to her give her that, yet, would continue to date her and waste years of her time.

Why aren’t they just upfront about their intentions and end the relationship?

The OP in that thread never identified a job and acknowledged she was still being supported by her parents. While they had been dating for three years, she was still in the process of moving in with him. No rational person could think she was ready for marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just propose to him. Will you marry me? No? Ok bye. Don’t twist his arm and make him propose to you, that’s really just you proposing and lying about who is doing it.

A man who wants to propose will do so. No reason to make it weird.

How old are you?

How old are you?? Do you think you speak for modern young men or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just read the thread about the 26yo whose 34yo boyfriend still hasn’t proposed after 3 years of dating and it has got me thinking about why men do this.

I know many women who’ve experienced this. The guy would always know that his girlfriend wants commitment and he knew he wasn’t planning to her give her that, yet, would continue to date her and waste years of her time.

Why aren’t they just upfront about their intentions and end the relationship?

The OP in that thread never identified a job and acknowledged she was still being supported by her parents. While they had been dating for three years, she was still in the process of moving in with him. No rational person could think she was ready for marriage.

And yet that man was dating her. Indicating he is not ready for marriage despite quickly honing in on middle age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just propose to him. Will you marry me? No? Ok bye. Don’t twist his arm and make him propose to you, that’s really just you proposing and lying about who is doing it.

A man who wants to propose will do so. No reason to make it weird.

How old are you?

How old are you?? Do you think you speak for modern young men or something?

Why not answer the question? Are you suffering from dementia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just read the thread about the 26yo whose 34yo boyfriend still hasn’t proposed after 3 years of dating and it has got me thinking about why men do this.

I know many women who’ve experienced this. The guy would always know that his girlfriend wants commitment and he knew he wasn’t planning to her give her that, yet, would continue to date her and waste years of her time.

Why aren’t they just upfront about their intentions and end the relationship?

As I get older I see that women don't give themselves enough agency. That can always leave when they are not getting what they want. No need to be a victim.

We also give men too much credit for having a 'motivation'. They generally have no idea what they are doing.

I agree with this - the ones with the clear intentions and endgame in mind are the ones who are proposing!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just read the thread about the 26yo whose 34yo boyfriend still hasn’t proposed after 3 years of dating and it has got me thinking about why men do this.

I know many women who’ve experienced this. The guy would always know that his girlfriend wants commitment and he knew he wasn’t planning to her give her that, yet, would continue to date her and waste years of her time.

Why aren’t they just upfront about their intentions and end the relationship?

The OP in that thread never identified a job and acknowledged she was still being supported by her parents. While they had been dating for three years, she was still in the process of moving in with him. No rational person could think she was ready for marriage.

And yet that man was dating her. Indicating he is not ready for marriage despite quickly honing in on middle age.

Maybe he was hoping she'd grow up. He has time. No reason to rush into marriage with someone that is obviously still trying to get her life in order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just read the thread about the 26yo whose 34yo boyfriend still hasn’t proposed after 3 years of dating and it has got me thinking about why men do this.

I know many women who’ve experienced this. The guy would always know that his girlfriend wants commitment and he knew he wasn’t planning to her give her that, yet, would continue to date her and waste years of her time.

Why aren’t they just upfront about their intentions and end the relationship?

The OP in that thread never identified a job and acknowledged she was still being supported by her parents. While they had been dating for three years, she was still in the process of moving in with him. No rational person could think she was ready for marriage.

And yet that man was dating her. Indicating he is not ready for marriage despite quickly honing in on middle age.

Maybe he was hoping she'd grow up. He has time. No reason to rush into marriage with someone that is obviously still trying to get her life in order.

If he cared to grow up himself, he would date someone who was already an adult. Clearly he’s emotionally stunted while she’s at least closer to acting her age.

[Anonymous]

I thought women were done with men, per all of the raging threads on this forum.

Anyway, if you want to get married so much, you can propose to him. Being "strung along" is a conscious choice.