2 married professors having an affair. Do I report it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you know their spouses?

I think people have a right to know that there is a 3rd person in their marriage, putting their health at risk and that their marriage is a sham / facade. It is very humiliating for others to know your spouse is cavorting about while you look like a fool thinking all is well.

If you know the spouse or spouses, I would tell them what you saw.

The cheaters are the ones who have already messed up the marriages / families. Being complicit in the lies, betrayal and deciet isn't something I have any desire to be part of.

There is something very wrong with you.

I was the spouse in this situation. My ex and his AP would meet up at conferences while I ran myself ragged with a full time job and two young children at home. I wish somebody had told me.

The lies and gaslighting made me feel like I was crazy, on top of just being tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's not affecting your work environment, then of course not. None of your business.

Incorrect. First, there may be a university policy that covers this, and if so, there may also be language in the policy that if you don't say something, you can be disciplined. Even if this isn't the case, high-profile cheating scandals can affect the credibility of the academic department (or even school) with students. Second, would you want to know if someone is interfering in your marriage (and that's what it is)? Both of the cheating spouses are breaking their marital vows (instead of getting divorced) and are hoping not to get caught doing so. If you choose to stay in a marriage for whatever reason (money, kids, societal/family pressure), then you honor your vow at the expense of your selfish desires. It's simply not fair to the non-cheating spouse.

Are you a complete fool? The cheating that an academic institution is interested in would be academic cheating such as plagiarism or altering research data. Fooling around with your co workers is not on the list. In fact, there is nothing that the admin could do about two tenured faculty fooling around with each other.

[Anonymous]

Comrade, I strongly encourage you to report such behavior directly to KGB domestic bureau. We will take active measures to ensure no such subversion among intelligentsia. You will surely be nominated for Order of Lenin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's not affecting your work environment, then of course not. None of your business.

Incorrect. First, there may be a university policy that covers this, and if so, there may also be language in the policy that if you don't say something, you can be disciplined. Even if this isn't the case, high-profile cheating scandals can affect the credibility of the academic department (or even school) with students. Second, would you want to know if someone is interfering in your marriage (and that's what it is)? Both of the cheating spouses are breaking their marital vows (instead of getting divorced) and are hoping not to get caught doing so. If you choose to stay in a marriage for whatever reason (money, kids, societal/family pressure), then you honor your vow at the expense of your selfish desires. It's simply not fair to the non-cheating spouse.

Are you a complete fool? The cheating that an academic institution is interested in would be academic cheating such as plagiarism or altering research data. Fooling around with your co workers is not on the list. In fact, there is nothing that the admin could do about two tenured faculty fooling around with each other.

Five minutes on Google would prove you wrong. Universities do care about about relationships between faculty members, particularly if they can cause disruption to the academic environment, subject the university to legal liability (direct or indirect authority of one professor over another), etc.... In fact, universities reserve the option to take any action necessary to ensure compliance with the spirit their fraternization policies, including transferring either or both employees to minimize disruption of the work group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's not affecting your work environment, then of course not. None of your business.

Incorrect. First, there may be a university policy that covers this, and if so, there may also be language in the policy that if you don't say something, you can be disciplined. Even if this isn't the case, high-profile cheating scandals can affect the credibility of the academic department (or even school) with students. Second, would you want to know if someone is interfering in your marriage (and that's what it is)? Both of the cheating spouses are breaking their marital vows (instead of getting divorced) and are hoping not to get caught doing so. If you choose to stay in a marriage for whatever reason (money, kids, societal/family pressure), then you honor your vow at the expense of your selfish desires. It's simply not fair to the non-cheating spouse.

Are you a complete fool? The cheating that an academic institution is interested in would be academic cheating such as plagiarism or altering research data. Fooling around with your co workers is not on the list. In fact, there is nothing that the admin could do about two tenured faculty fooling around with each other.

Five minutes on Google would prove you wrong. Universities do care about about relationships between faculty members, particularly if they can cause disruption to the academic environment, subject the university to legal liability (direct or indirect authority of one professor over another), etc.... In fact, universities reserve the option to take any action necessary to ensure compliance with the spirit their fraternization policies, including transferring either or both employees to minimize disruption of the work group.

You clearly have never worked in a university.

My guess is that OP is a low level staff position. Tenure is very difficult to break and two colleagues consensually seeing each other doesn’t come within a mile. My guess is that OP a grad student or staff person and that you have been cheated on. This is triggering for you rather than just eww. You want to get revenge on the cheating person who wronged you by proxy.

Contact the spouses if you are doing it out of a desire to help them. If it’s anger or revenge then talk to your therapist.

[Anonymous]

Stay out of it. This has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Id stay out of it. Too many ways his can go bad for you

This. No way a whistleblower possibly can break even in these situations. Do not invite questions or make any unsolicited comments. I am unsure or I do not know are reasonable answers to awkward questions which come your way.

[Anonymous]

If there's not regulation against it, wtf do you think anyone would care?? And why do you care?

[Anonymous]

The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.
Say something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's not affecting your work environment, then of course not. None of your business.

Incorrect. First, there may be a university policy that covers this, and if so, there may also be language in the policy that if you don't say something, you can be disciplined. Even if this isn't the case, high-profile cheating scandals can affect the credibility of the academic department (or even school) with students. Second, would you want to know if someone is interfering in your marriage (and that's what it is)? Both of the cheating spouses are breaking their marital vows (instead of getting divorced) and are hoping not to get caught doing so. If you choose to stay in a marriage for whatever reason (money, kids, societal/family pressure), then you honor your vow at the expense of your selfish desires. It's simply not fair to the non-cheating spouse.

Are you a complete fool? The cheating that an academic institution is interested in would be academic cheating such as plagiarism or altering research data. Fooling around with your co workers is not on the list. In fact, there is nothing that the admin could do about two tenured faculty fooling around with each other.

Five minutes on Google would prove you wrong. Universities do care about about relationships between faculty members, particularly if they can cause disruption to the academic environment, subject the university to legal liability (direct or indirect authority of one professor over another), etc.... In fact, universities reserve the option to take any action necessary to ensure compliance with the spirit their fraternization policies, including transferring either or both employees to minimize disruption of the work group.

You clearly have never worked in a university.

My guess is that OP is a low level staff position. Tenure is very difficult to break and two colleagues consensually seeing each other doesn’t come within a mile. My guess is that OP a grad student or staff person and that you have been cheated on. This is triggering for you rather than just eww. You want to get revenge on the cheating person who wronged you by proxy.

Contact the spouses if you are doing it out of a desire to help them. If it’s anger or revenge then talk to your therapist.

Not sure if you're the PP, but if so, nice goalpost shifting. If policy prohibits it, then the university cares, at least on paper. I gree that real world career impact may be a factor, but there are anonymous ways of reporting. Likewise, the OP can anonymously report to one or both of the innocent spouses. I'm sure they'd like to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are consenting adults. Who would you report this to?

I’d stay out of it.

Op wants to report this to their mommies and daddies. Welp!

[Anonymous]

No, leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in academia and recently confirmed that 2 colleagues are having an affair. They’re both strange birds and have acted weird and uncomfortably close to each other for a couple years. I swear I’ve seen covert touching here and there. Others have noticed as well. They share an office and occasionally lock the door and not for a student meeting.

Well it was confirmed when I saw them out together at dinner in another town. (They didn’t see me). And I saw them making out in the parking lot before driving away in their separate cars.

This makes me sick. They are both solidly married with children. I don’t really know the protocol for this.

No, you don't report this. It's not a fireable offense.

[Anonymous]

Name the school. Then rumors can spread and more cheaters start sweating.

Not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's not affecting your work environment, then of course not. None of your business.

Incorrect. First, there may be a university policy that covers this, and if so, there may also be language in the policy that if you don't say something, you can be disciplined. Even if this isn't the case, high-profile cheating scandals can affect the credibility of the academic department (or even school) with students. Second, would you want to know if someone is interfering in your marriage (and that's what it is)? Both of the cheating spouses are breaking their marital vows (instead of getting divorced) and are hoping not to get caught doing so. If you choose to stay in a marriage for whatever reason (money, kids, societal/family pressure), then you honor your vow at the expense of your selfish desires. It's simply not fair to the non-cheating spouse.

Are you a complete fool? The cheating that an academic institution is interested in would be academic cheating such as plagiarism or altering research data. Fooling around with your co workers is not on the list. In fact, there is nothing that the admin could do about two tenured faculty fooling around with each other.

Five minutes on Google would prove you wrong. Universities do care about about relationships between faculty members, particularly if they can cause disruption to the academic environment, subject the university to legal liability (direct or indirect authority of one professor over another), etc.... In fact, universities reserve the option to take any action necessary to ensure compliance with the spirit their fraternization policies, including transferring either or both employees to minimize disruption of the work group.

You clearly have never worked in a university.

My guess is that OP is a low level staff position. Tenure is very difficult to break and two colleagues consensually seeing each other doesn’t come within a mile. My guess is that OP a grad student or staff person and that you have been cheated on. This is triggering for you rather than just eww. You want to get revenge on the cheating person who wronged you by proxy.

Contact the spouses if you are doing it out of a desire to help them. If it’s anger or revenge then talk to your therapist.

My guess too. You won't get tenure by getting your colleagues in trouble, if they do get in trouble. It will backfire on you. You won't get tenure anyway because there are virtually no tenure track jobs anymore. Write and publish or whatever you're supposed to be doing to prove your mettle and let this go.

How did you know the office door was locked unless you tried to open it or someone else did and told you?

All they have to do is deny it if questioned. Or are you going to be a PI and bring the dean some photos?