How to shut down critical comments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For instance, if a relative comes into your home and starts criticizing how you look or how you are dressed, what is a way to shut them down?

I’ve thought about “that’s so rude. Why would you say that?” But I don’t want to invite a conversation. I just want it to stop.

So “that’s rude.” Full stop. What else?

Get a cute visible sign made for your front door, "Unsolicited advice isn't welcome here. Save your wisdom."

[Anonymous]

"Bring kindness with you, leave criticism at the door."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stare blankly at the person for 3 seconds, then completely ignore the comment.

💯

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you give an example? Is this like...Liz that shade of blue is not good for you? Liz, your jeans are so last year? Liz, your hips are too wide to wear leggings?

Most recently it was proclamations about me to anyone that was within listening distance: “Oh, she looks so uncomfortable. . .” Followed by laughter. Over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stare blankly at the person for 3 seconds, then completely ignore the comment.

💯

So I generally agree, and that’s kind of what I generally do, but ignoring the comment starts feeling like I am holding it in and biting my teeth, then that starts festering.

[Anonymous]

My aunts like to comment that I gained a few pounds, "Oh you got so big!" So I say, "Ohh you look so old!"

[Anonymous]

"Here's your coat. Don't call me, I'll call you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say, "That's funny, I don't remember asking for your opinion."

I say this to my mom and her answer is "Well I was just trying to help. Nobody else is going to be honest or say it to your face. That's my job." So, no, that doesn't work on everyone it just leads to doubling down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like "Thats not a very nice thing to say"

I said this, and the reply was, "I'm not very nice."

How old is this person? How close of a relative are they? How often do you see them?

[Anonymous]

I have said : "That's rude".

Look them straight in the eye and watch them squirm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say, "That's funny, I don't remember asking for your opinion."

I say this to my mom and her answer is "Well I was just trying to help. Nobody else is going to be honest or say it to your face. That's my job." So, no, that doesn't work on everyone it just leads to doubling down.

"And my job is to protect myself and my family from rude, unkind people. So you can either apologize and stop this immature behavior, or you can leave. If you leave, you won't be coming back until you apologize. What's your choice, apologize and stay, or leave now?"

[Anonymous]

"Sorry to hear you feel that way. Anyway, ..."

[Anonymous]

I have an acquaintance like this. She prides herself on being a big church goer and Christian. I typically say, "what a very unchristian thing to say." it really shuts her up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Carry around a Yellow Card. Flash it when this happens. On it, it says "Is it True? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?"

They aren't first graders.

Op try "I'll thank you now not to be so rude. Got it? Good. Now, how about the weather/those Chiefs/ Aunt Greta's boil?...." Anything to change the subject.

Works in soccer. Even grown men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have said : "That's rude".

Look them straight in the eye and watch them squirm.

I’ve found this works really well with boomer women. They can’t handle the directness of being told to stop this behavior. They 100% know that what they are saying is obnoxious, rude or even hurtful but they wrap it up in some cutesy or nonchalant comment expecting the receiver to smile and just accept the wet noodle they just threw at you. Well being direct ends the little game and lobs that wet noodle back in their lap.