Is anyone watching Dirty John tonight? Betty Broderick's story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found her callous attitude toward her children's suffering appalling. She was abusive in dragging the kids through the divorce. Am I the only one that notices this? The phone calls with the younger son were horrible.

+1. She seems to have been incredibly selfish and didn’t think about the kids’ welfare at all.

[Anonymous]

In watching this with my husband, he seems to be more on Dan's side while I'm on Betty's. Up until the murder, that is. There is no justification for that. But I see more of the abuse, gaslighting, lying, and manipulation pushing Betty's buttons where as my husband focuses on her reactions and just says she's crazy and doesn't see the actions of Dan as provocative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In watching this with my husband, he seems to be more on Dan's side while I'm on Betty's. Up until the murder, that is. There is no justification for that. But I see more of the abuse, gaslighting, lying, and manipulation pushing Betty's buttons where as my husband focuses on her reactions and just says she's crazy and doesn't see the actions of Dan as provocative.

My husband can't believe Dan either. He thinks he's scum.

I'd be concerned your husband thinks what Dan and his cronies did are okay. Those other lawyers and judge were just as awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dare I say -- hopefully this serves as a lesson to all men.

AND THE OTHER WOMEN TOO!!!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found her callous attitude toward her children's suffering appalling. She was abusive in dragging the kids through the divorce. Am I the only one that notices this? The phone calls with the younger son were horrible.

+1. She seems to have been incredibly selfish and didn’t think about the kids’ welfare at all.

She was well in the throes of mental illness at that point. Severely depressed, obsessive, not sleeping. She needed substantial therapeutic support, but not much was known about borderline personality disorder back then. So I do have compassion for her--I really do think she was not herself at all--but the failure to focus on the fallout for her kids after the fact is mind-boggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In watching this with my husband, he seems to be more on Dan's side while I'm on Betty's. Up until the murder, that is. There is no justification for that. But I see more of the abuse, gaslighting, lying, and manipulation pushing Betty's buttons where as my husband focuses on her reactions and just says she's crazy and doesn't see the actions of Dan as provocative.

My husband can't believe Dan either. He thinks he's scum.

I'd be concerned your husband thinks what Dan and his cronies did are okay. Those other lawyers and judge were just as awful.

We are only halfway through the series. We know it ends in murder and I think I may know more about this case than my husband. But, after episode 5 he's not so sure what Dan did so wrong and why Betty is being so crazy. If he was squirreling money away to impoverish her as I read in other places, it hasn't been as readily obvious yet. Do Dan's actions get worse in the last few episodes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found her callous attitude toward her children's suffering appalling. She was abusive in dragging the kids through the divorce. Am I the only one that notices this? The phone calls with the younger son were horrible.

+1. She seems to have been incredibly selfish and didn’t think about the kids’ welfare at all.

She was well in the throes of mental illness at that point. Severely depressed, obsessive, not sleeping. She needed substantial therapeutic support, but not much was known about borderline personality disorder back then. So I do have compassion for her--I really do think she was not herself at all--but the failure to focus on the fallout for her kids after the fact is mind-boggling.

Is this what bpd looks like? Their perfect family was a facade. I can't imagine the cognitive dissonance necessary to keep hanging tooth and nail to that illusion. Both were horrible parents as well as very dysfunctional people. We have constant posts from people jealous of the people who live this lifestyle but this, maybe not typical, still points out that it isn't what it always seems.

Also the truth is living in certain parts of certain states means you're almost guaranteed to get divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found her callous attitude toward her children's suffering appalling. She was abusive in dragging the kids through the divorce. Am I the only one that notices this? The phone calls with the younger son were horrible.

+1. She seems to have been incredibly selfish and didn’t think about the kids’ welfare at all.

She was well in the throes of mental illness at that point. Severely depressed, obsessive, not sleeping. She needed substantial therapeutic support, but not much was known about borderline personality disorder back then. So I do have compassion for her--I really do think she was not herself at all--but the failure to focus on the fallout for her kids after the fact is mind-boggling.

Is this what bpd looks like? Their perfect family was a facade. I can't imagine the cognitive dissonance necessary to keep hanging tooth and nail to that illusion. Both were horrible parents as well as very dysfunctional people. We have constant posts from people jealous of the people who live this lifestyle but this, maybe not typical, still points out that it isn't what it always seems.

Also the truth is living in certain parts of certain states means you're almost guaranteed to get divorced.

She had all the symptoms of BPD, above all anguish at the prospect of abandonment. PLUS she was severely depressed. Seems clear she had a psychotic break. The remorse question is tricky. Not sure I'd feel remorse about ridding the world of my abusers, but I certainly would feel immense remorse about what all of this did to my kids. The kids haven't spoken about this in a long time, wonder where they are now with it.

The 9 symptoms of BPD
Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
Unstable relationships. ...
Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
Self-harm. ...
Extreme emotional swings. ...
Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
Explosive anger.

[Anonymous]

She was a victim of narcissistic abuse.

1. Idealize -- When she and Dan first met and he found out where she went to college and said "perfect" he was just looking at her outward attributes and how they could help him.

2. Devalue -- Putting her through all of those years of poverty and getting her pregnant 5 times while she was forced to work 2 jobs so he could get ahead even more.

3. Discard -- Not listening when she told him to get rid of Linda, idealizing Linda ("she's so beautiful!" right in front of Betty...). Then, the tormenting with flaunting Linda and taking the house, not paying etc.

So she took revenge!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was a victim of narcissistic abuse.

1. Idealize -- When she and Dan first met and he found out where she went to college and said "perfect" he was just looking at her outward attributes and how they could help him.

2. Devalue -- Putting her through all of those years of poverty and getting her pregnant 5 times while she was forced to work 2 jobs so he could get ahead even more.

3. Discard -- Not listening when she told him to get rid of Linda, idealizing Linda ("she's so beautiful!" right in front of Betty...). Then, the tormenting with flaunting Linda and taking the house, not paying etc.

So she took revenge!

+1

Agree. I wonder about those who take Dan’s side. Yes, Betty was nuts, but you might be too, after living with Dan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was a victim of narcissistic abuse.

1. Idealize -- When she and Dan first met and he found out where she went to college and said "perfect" he was just looking at her outward attributes and how they could help him.

2. Devalue -- Putting her through all of those years of poverty and getting her pregnant 5 times while she was forced to work 2 jobs so he could get ahead even more.

3. Discard -- Not listening when she told him to get rid of Linda, idealizing Linda ("she's so beautiful!" right in front of Betty...). Then, the tormenting with flaunting Linda and taking the house, not paying etc.

So she took revenge!

+1

Agree. I wonder about those who take Dan’s side. Yes, Betty was nuts, but you might be too, after living with Dan.

I take no one’s “side” but murdering people is objectively worse than emotional or financial abuse. Murder is the ultimate no no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found her callous attitude toward her children's suffering appalling. She was abusive in dragging the kids through the divorce. Am I the only one that notices this? The phone calls with the younger son were horrible.

+1. She seems to have been incredibly selfish and didn’t think about the kids’ welfare at all.

She was well in the throes of mental illness at that point. Severely depressed, obsessive, not sleeping. She needed substantial therapeutic support, but not much was known about borderline personality disorder back then. So I do have compassion for her--I really do think she was not herself at all--but the failure to focus on the fallout for her kids after the fact is mind-boggling.

Is this what bpd looks like? Their perfect family was a facade. I can't imagine the cognitive dissonance necessary to keep hanging tooth and nail to that illusion. Both were horrible parents as well as very dysfunctional people. We have constant posts from people jealous of the people who live this lifestyle but this, maybe not typical, still points out that it isn't what it always seems.

Also the truth is living in certain parts of certain states means you're almost guaranteed to get divorced.

She had all the symptoms of BPD, above all anguish at the prospect of abandonment. PLUS she was severely depressed. Seems clear she had a psychotic break. The remorse question is tricky. Not sure I'd feel remorse about ridding the world of my abusers, but I certainly would feel immense remorse about what all of this did to my kids. The kids haven't spoken about this in a long time, wonder where they are now with it.

The 9 symptoms of BPD
Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
Unstable relationships. ...
Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
Self-harm. ...
Extreme emotional swings. ...
Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
Explosive anger.

Wow, bingo.

[Anonymous]

You never know how an affair partner or a betrayed spouse will act when the chips are down.

This is why you don’t cheat. Other women/men have also been known to go Fatal Attraction as much as the betrayed spouse.

Mentally sound people do not have affairs.

If anyone gets anything out of this series I would hope it is that cheating is not worth it. Fix your sh@t first or get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was a victim of narcissistic abuse.

1. Idealize -- When she and Dan first met and he found out where she went to college and said "perfect" he was just looking at her outward attributes and how they could help him.

2. Devalue -- Putting her through all of those years of poverty and getting her pregnant 5 times while she was forced to work 2 jobs so he could get ahead even more.

3. Discard -- Not listening when she told him to get rid of Linda, idealizing Linda ("she's so beautiful!" right in front of Betty...). Then, the tormenting with flaunting Linda and taking the house, not paying etc.

So she took revenge!

I had no idea about this story, didn’t grown up in the U.S; if even half of what is portrayed in the series is true Dan is a POS! First flag for me is him dismissing housekeeping, I think this was on their honeymoon, and saying she would make the bed when she asked. Seems he targeted her to support his ambitions, take care of his house and to be a breeder.

Murder is never the answer but he drove this woman to insanity and paid with his life. Her insanity was probably his intention anyway but he miscalculated the outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was a victim of narcissistic abuse.

1. Idealize -- When she and Dan first met and he found out where she went to college and said "perfect" he was just looking at her outward attributes and how they could help him.

2. Devalue -- Putting her through all of those years of poverty and getting her pregnant 5 times while she was forced to work 2 jobs so he could get ahead even more.

3. Discard -- Not listening when she told him to get rid of Linda, idealizing Linda ("she's so beautiful!" right in front of Betty...). Then, the tormenting with flaunting Linda and taking the house, not paying etc.

So she took revenge!

I had no idea about this story, didn’t grown up in the U.S; if even half of what is portrayed in the series is true Dan is a POS! First flag for me is him dismissing housekeeping, I think this was on their honeymoon, and saying she would make the bed when she asked. Seems he targeted her to support his ambitions, take care of his house and to be a breeder.

Murder is never the answer but he drove this woman to insanity and paid with his life. Her insanity was probably his intention anyway but he miscalculated the outcome.

Obviously mental illness was at play, but she was so singularly focused and obsessed with him and Linda. She ignored her own kids, dragged them into it, basically had them spy on them, and used them to let Dan know she had a gun she wasn't afraid to use it for protection. I'm the one who said my husband was team Dan and I was team Betty, I'm almost done with the series (mid ep 7) and its getting harder to see Betty's side. Betty made a lot of bad choices that many other people wouldn't make even in the worst of circumstances. It's too bad Betty's parents weren't more supportive that might have made a big difference.