Am I the only one who doesn't feel bored as a stay at home mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really love it but maybe I'm doing it wrong!

as everyone knows. you have to have vagina to do this. not sure what happened to feminism. all the rich liberals in our mclean neighborhood have the wives stay at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really love it but maybe I'm doing it wrong!

as everyone knows. you have to have vagina to do this. not sure what happened to feminism. all the rich liberals in our mclean neighborhood have the wives stay at home.

They sure look happy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really love it but maybe I'm doing it wrong!

as everyone knows. you have to have vagina to do this. not sure what happened to feminism. all the rich liberals in our mclean neighborhood have the wives stay at home.

Feminism is alive and well. Living the reality of being a full time working mom and (statistically, usually) the default parent too? No thanks! Feminism did (and does) give me lots of choices and I'm glad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

I worked for many years and am taking a possibly permanent break...love it! I would not mind picking up kids in a pinch, as we are all in different places. However if it came with a dose of attitude I would not like it at all. I was never 'mean' to SAHM (who by the way can also give off a vibe if they are uncool) and I don't expect to be mean to working moms now. Let's end the mommy wars shall we? There are pluses and minuses to both, and for some people depending on personality or circumstance it can be all plus or all minus...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

I worked for many years and am taking a possibly permanent break...love it! I would not mind picking up kids in a pinch, as we are all in different places. However if it came with a dose of attitude I would not like it at all. I was never 'mean' to SAHM (who by the way can also give off a vibe if they are uncool) and I don't expect to be mean to working moms now. Let's end the mommy wars shall we? There are pluses and minuses to both, and for some people depending on personality or circumstance it can be all plus or all minus...

Can you share your story about taking a break? I'm genuinely curious, not a jerk. I am thinking about something similar. Specifically, why, if you had to make changes re: money, and how your spouse feels. And how that's all evolved since you did it. Or anything you want!

[Anonymous]

Just as a word of advice to some of the PPs, the SAHM/WOHM debate is stupid and generally short-lived. When the kids get older, other moms don’t care anymore. If some moms did care, you have the benefit of not giving a good god damn what someone else thinks about your parenting choices.

Don’t waste energy on these silly mommy-wars.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read the thread but I stayed home for a while. I was never bored, but I’m drfinitely not a type-A person. I got to be outside, take walks, talk with friends - it was very low-stress and I was okay with that.

I work in the human services field and I do it for love, not money - so it wasn’t an issue to leave for a while and then return. I’m not climbing to the top of any ladder.

DH and I are happy living a middle class lifestyle. We have what we need, and are fine without an updated home or luxuries.

So no, I wasn’t bored and I don’t feel like I abandoned my career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: Raising kids is a contribution to society.

Of course it is, but let's not be thick here. My kids pediatrician is a mom, and her work as a physician is contributing to society in a way that is different Han her raising her own kids.

This is a ridiculous argument. I am a woh, but can think of many ways that sah moms in my community have benefitted my kids, not just their own—by volunteering at school, planning the big fundraiser, and leading a Brownie troop,

Anyone arguing that being a sah or being a woh has more intrinsic value just looks overly defensive and foolish.

If you are truly happy with your own choices, why post about how much better (or more “valuable”) that makes you than someone else? That is the territory of the insecure.

All those volunteer activities can and are done by both SAH and WOH moms (and dads).

If you are not a troll, you have zero self awareness, zero. You might benefit from counseling to address your pathological resentment (jealousy) of sah moms.

Personally, I don’t know any woh moms leading after school Brownie or volunteering at the school three times a week. I certainly don’t have time for it, and I work a 40 hour week as a government attorney. My guess is you don’t do these things either,

I personally know many WOH homes who volunteer for the big fundraisers, work in the library, and coach sports teams. I also know SAH moms who barely volunteer. Somehow this reality just boggles your mind to the point that it must be fictitious or the product of mental delusion.

For your sake, hope you are a troll. Because otherwise, you are just dripping with envy and unhappiness. And your point doesn’t even make sense — volunteering has value whether done by a woh or a sah, no one said to the contrary. I appreciate whomever does it, in my community, it is overwhelmingly sah moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: Raising kids is a contribution to society.

Of course it is, but let's not be thick here. My kids pediatrician is a mom, and her work as a physician is contributing to society in a way that is different Han her raising her own kids.

This is a ridiculous argument. I am a woh, but can think of many ways that sah moms in my community have benefitted my kids, not just their own—by volunteering at school, planning the big fundraiser, and leading a Brownie troop,

Anyone arguing that being a sah or being a woh has more intrinsic value just looks overly defensive and foolish.

If you are truly happy with your own choices, why post about how much better (or more “valuable”) that makes you than someone else? That is the territory of the insecure.

All those volunteer activities can and are done by both SAH and WOH moms (and dads).

If you are not a troll, you have zero self awareness, zero. You might benefit from counseling to address your pathological resentment (jealousy) of sah moms.

Personally, I don’t know any woh moms leading after school Brownie or volunteering at the school three times a week. I certainly don’t have time for it, and I work a 40 hour week as a government attorney. My guess is you don’t do these things either,

I personally know many WOH homes who volunteer for the big fundraisers, work in the library, and coach sports teams. I also know SAH moms who barely volunteer. Somehow this reality just boggles your mind to the point that it must be fictitious or the product of mental delusion.

For your sake, hope you are a troll. Because otherwise, you are just dripping with envy and unhappiness. And your point doesn’t even make sense — volunteering has value whether done by a woh or a sah, no one said to the contrary. I appreciate whomever does it, in my community, it is overwhelmingly sah moms.

NP here. My mother WOH, and she was also a Brownie leader, church youth group leader, PTA president, and volunteer with my high school's athletic teams. My father was also very involved in our school/church communities. I'm a WOHM to a toddler, and I have every intention of being active in our community as she gets older (we've recently relocated). WOH and volunteering are not mutually exclusive.
I find this SAHM/WOHM debate tiring and, really, I've learned over the last two years that there's no "winners". No matter what you do as a mother, someone always seems to think you're doing it wrong.

[Anonymous]

I really think early feminists, like Friedan, did a huge disservice to SAHMs with their books about how bored and unfulfilled they were.
Anyone who is doing a good job as a SAHM is not likely to be bored. There's a lot of work involved in shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning, kids activities....
Too many women are totally stressed and worn out by doing a second shift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really think early feminists, like Friedan, did a huge disservice to SAHMs with their books about how bored and unfulfilled they were.
Anyone who is doing a good job as a SAHM is not likely to be bored. There's a lot of work involved in shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning, kids activities....
Too many women are totally stressed and worn out by doing a second shift.

Their point was that men should be doing it as well so no one is stuck doing drudgery alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Every once in a while, I read threads like this and I feel like taking my husband up on his offer for me to stay home.

And then I think of all the former stay-at-home moms I know who got divorced, often not due to their own choice, and are now in very tough positions. I also think of those I know who are still married and miserable and trapped. I also know a couple whose husbands lost their jobs and who are now in very bad economic situations. In case it is not obvious, I am from an area with very privileged stay-at-home moms. Seeing what happens to the majority keeps me working.

Same feeling here. Of course people with money don't feel bored. It's like partial retirement after about age 8. You have money to do things you want. The majority of SAHM's who aren't enjoying life are the ones without money.

I am a WOHM with a lot of money. I don't feel bored either, and that's because I don't have to do Costco runs, clean up the yard, straighten up the house, etc. Whether I worked or not, I wouldn't want to do that stuff. I really don't miss not getting to watch TV.

+1. Ditto to your bolded, and I am a SAHM.

Being a SAHM has allowed me to pay attention to my needs, my DH's needs and my kids needs. So as far as family and relationships are concerned, I am fine. Since there is no pre-nup and we hold all assets jointly (plus I have money of my own), the fear that I will be left destitute after a divorce is not applicable to me. We also have great savings and insurance so we are covered to the extent one can be covered for unexpected hard times. Living below our means have also given us financial options.

The comments of many WOHMs on this forum are spot on. All women need to be financially secure else their being a WOHM or SAHM is not really their own choice but a necessity.

So any woman who doesn't have millions to her own name is really working out of necessity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: Raising kids is a contribution to society.

Newsflash: you can raise kids, plus have a career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Okay op - tell us, how do you fill your days? (plus what is your highest educational degree level, if at all?)

Not OP, but this was my day today:

I’m a SAHM with a SAC

Got DD to the bus at 8:30. Came home, made beds and tidied up, and then went for a run. Got back, showered, sat down to have coffee and breakfast and catch up on some news and check emails, etc.

Turned on a podcast and cleaned the bathrooms. Put away some laundry. After that, I drove to pick up something I bought on a mom2mom site, went to the post office to throw some cards in the mail, then went to Costco.

Came home, put away the things from Costco, and then ate lunch. After lunch, I went outside and cleaned up some yard debris for garbage day tomorrow. I came inside, put on another podcast and prepped a casserole for dinner. I then cleaned the kitchen.

Next, I sat down to watch a 30min episode of a Netflix show, and then left for school pickup at 3:45.

I have a BA and I’m happier at home than I ever was at work. I’m never bored. I find ways to fill my day. Sometimes with mundane tasks, always with exercise, and always with either a book or some other literature, or interesting podcast.

I am beginning to understand why 30 years of this would make someone has unintelligent as my MIL. You are just taking up space.

When I asked the OP how she filled her day I did not hope for this kind of mundane minutae. I think I am just going to have to kill myself now, so bored.

Exactly how I felt while on the 9-5 treadmill. Couldn't wait to end that misery and be at home with my children. Yes, there are some "boring" days while at home, but I'd much rather have a few of those with my kids, than be bored at work, without my kids. Different strokes and all that.

But unless you keep having babies, at some point kids are gone 30+ hours each week. What will you do with your time then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay op - tell us, how do you fill your days? (plus what is your highest educational degree level, if at all?)

Not OP, but this was my day today:

I’m a SAHM with a SAC

Got DD to the bus at 8:30. Came home, made beds and tidied up, and then went for a run. Got back, showered, sat down to have coffee and breakfast and catch up on some news and check emails, etc.

Turned on a podcast and cleaned the bathrooms. Put away some laundry. After that, I drove to pick up something I bought on a mom2mom site, went to the post office to throw some cards in the mail, then went to Costco.

Came home, put away the things from Costco, and then ate lunch. After lunch, I went outside and cleaned up some yard debris for garbage day tomorrow. I came inside, put on another podcast and prepped a casserole for dinner. I then cleaned the kitchen.

Next, I sat down to watch a 30min episode of a Netflix show, and then left for school pickup at 3:45.

I have a BA and I’m happier at home than I ever was at work. I’m never bored. I find ways to fill my day. Sometimes with mundane tasks, always with exercise, and always with either a book or some other literature, or interesting podcast.

I am beginning to understand why 30 years of this would make someone has unintelligent as my MIL. You are just taking up space.

When I asked the OP how she filled her day I did not hope for this kind of mundane minutae. I think I am just going to have to kill myself now, so bored.

Life IS mundane minutiae. A bunch of boring, routine moments with sprinkling of excitement. I know so many people who go to work every day thinking, I’m so bored; kill me now!

and the 2+ hours in traffic five days a week? Now that's a life waster. How many people are sitting in their cars on 495 thinking "kill me now"? That would be me.

+1
Talk about soul-sucking.

Why is the answer to SAH, instead of to find a job with a shorter commute, or one that allows telecommuting?