Am I the only one who doesn't feel bored as a stay at home mom?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Threads like these are why I couldn't care less about my next door neighbor's situation. She has been one of those smug SAHMs for years now. Well, turns out her DH has been having sex with a mutual friend of theirs. He moved out recently and my neighbor has hit hard times. Sometimes, I want to help, but then I kind of think this serves her right. She sat at home for years holding court over our homeowner's association and now, she's heading to an apartment.

Posts like these illustrate exactly what is meant by "bitter harpy." So thank you, PP, for your perfectly timed, and ultra-predictable, little anecdote about your neighbor. I'm just sure it applies widely to all SAHMs.

I'd love to share my own anecdotes with you about my former colleague's affair with the managing partner, and all the drama that ensued at work, not to mention in their respective families. Would you like to hear it?

NP. Please no. Just go to bed.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I just don't feel comfortable knowing that my life is made entirely possible by someone else's largesse. I've always felt this way, even as a child when I realized some moms don't work outside the home. It's an uncomfortable feeling.

I've been married 30 years and have been at home all but about six of them. DH and I are both 50. I feel 100% comfortable knowing my life is made entirely possible by my DH's income. He would tell you that his life is made 100% possible by me managing our home. So it works out well in our family.

But if it gives you an uncomfortable feeling, you should definitely continue working.

Fantastic answer and 100% true. I worked for 11 years and have been fortunate enough to be home for 12. I just laugh at the simpletons who can't grasp that marriage is a team effort, not an exercise in bean counting. My husband is my biggest champion, and I am his - no matter which way our "division of duties" is divvied up.

MY marriage is not a team effort, it's an exercise in bean counting, which is why we both work full time. Not ideal, but yeah, it is, so neither of us would ever let the other SAH. In fact, we both make roughly the same amount (in 2016, I made 55% of the HHI).

DP... I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound like great marriage. I've been both a wohm, sahm, wfh, PT, etc... Marriage is a partnership.

Marriage is a partnership, ideally, but then again life is not ideal. The kind of man who respects his wife being at home was not the kind of man who would be attracted to me - I'm too competitive

I'm glad that works for you, but my DH respects me whether I choose to be sahm or wohm, and I've done both. Your marriage sounds more like a competition.

Yes, we are both competitive, and our marriage is much more egalitarian than most of our friends'.

Sure... "egalitarian." Exactly the word that came to mind when reading the description of your marriage.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The implication in this thread is that staying at home is preferable to working and the women posting that they aren’t bored seem to be gloating about it. So that is what is bringing out the venom from the working moms. Maybe I should start a thread about how great it is to be a working mom and see how the SAHMs respond.

Go ahead. I do think staying home is great. That is why I do it. Why should I pretend that it sucks? If you prefer working, fine by me.

Does your husband ever get jealous of all your free time?

Mine does not. He’s very career focused and loves his work and his contribution there. I did not. I went the college-career route and was miserable. He is not. I didn’t feel I was contributing to anything other than my unhappiness when I was working. I’m very happy and fulfilled now, and my husband is very happy and fulfilled now. It works for us now.

You're happy being married to a man whose main focus in life is work?

DP, but it sounds like the main focus in life for many women on this thread is work. Don't you think it's kind of sexist to imply men's main focus shouldn't be work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like these are why I couldn't care less about my next door neighbor's situation. She has been one of those smug SAHMs for years now. Well, turns out her DH has been having sex with a mutual friend of theirs. He moved out recently and my neighbor has hit hard times. Sometimes, I want to help, but then I kind of think this serves her right. She sat at home for years holding court over our homeowner's association and now, she's heading to an apartment.

Posts like these illustrate exactly what is meant by "bitter harpy." So thank you, PP, for your perfectly timed, and ultra-predictable, little anecdote about your neighbor. I'm just sure it applies widely to all SAHMs.

I'd love to share my own anecdotes with you about my former colleague's affair with the managing partner, and all the drama that ensued at work, not to mention in their respective families. Would you like to hear it?

This is obviously a troll, why are you falling for it?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

But you are the one posting like it actually happened to you. We both work and split schedule as well as have SACC and have no problems managing our kids transport. We do have SAHM falling over themselves to give us rides and play dates, but we don't take them up that often and are careful to reciprocate. But all the working parents I know have SACC or the like so not even sure where your kid and their kid would be collocated for a pickup? I think you are making that's up.

You do know that PP doesn't know you and wasn't posting about you, right? And that your particular situation has nothing to do with the situations of so many other WOHMs that she actually does know? Sounds like she touched a nerve.

I asked where she lived. Never heard of such a thing, really can’t even see how it could happen.

Nerve? What does that even mean? Like I actually have asked a SAHM for a favor or something? Again, losticially that would be MORE work for me, working parents have to have their sh*t together, so it just doesn’t make sense. Maybe she lives in a depressed neighborhood and her working class neighbors need some help bc their boss pulled them in for a second shift and they are in a bind, but talking bad about someone in that situation would be gauche.

You're just digging yourself further and further into your hole of sanctimony. Regarding the first bolded statement - what a narrow worldview you must have if you have actually "never heard of such a thing, really can't even see how it could happen." Give us all a break. This happens all the time, in every kind of neighborhood. Which brings us to the second bolded statement - yes, I'm just *sure* the PP lives in a "depressed neighborhood." :lol:

I am serious. I really can't see how it would even make sense. Any professional will have childcare arranged, and SAHM would presumably not be sending their kids to SACC etc, so how would it even make sense to ask for a pickup. Practices generally are after school and basically after work, so work really doesn't come into the equation unless OP has hard luck neighbors.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The implication in this thread is that staying at home is preferable to working and the women posting that they aren’t bored seem to be gloating about it. So that is what is bringing out the venom from the working moms. Maybe I should start a thread about how great it is to be a working mom and see how the SAHMs respond.

Go ahead. I do think staying home is great. That is why I do it. Why should I pretend that it sucks? If you prefer working, fine by me.

Does your husband ever get jealous of all your free time?

Mine does not. He’s very career focused and loves his work and his contribution there. I did not. I went the college-career route and was miserable. He is not. I didn’t feel I was contributing to anything other than my unhappiness when I was working. I’m very happy and fulfilled now, and my husband is very happy and fulfilled now. It works for us now.

You're happy being married to a man whose main focus in life is work?

Where did I ever say that?

But since you asked if I’m happy, yes, I’m honestly happy. He’s a wonderfully involved husband and father in the evenings and weekends. He sees his clients M-Th and puts in 12-14 hours a day and then we spend all day together fridays, and then have the weekends as a family. I have never been happier. But yes, we do have a mutual agreement that during the workweek, he is mostly focused on his work, and I am focused on things at home, so that he can get everything work related done before Th night, and we can then spend the weekend together.

Okay. What do you do for adult companionship M- Th?

I visit with my parents and sister (retired, and also SAH), I visit with a neighbor (we have coffee weekly), I run with a friend once a week (she works nights), my child plays at the playground after school while the moms chat (for about an hour almost daily, I volunteer at the school with another mom making copies and other tasks twice a month, I also socialize at sporting events.

Why is there this idea and misconception that women who stay home are completely isolated from adult contact?

Because I was too tired while on maternity leave to go out of the house much, and I have no local family, and I never SAH past the first 12 weeks of maternity leave.

Those first 12 weeks are all-consuming. It gets so much better and more fun when the baby is a little older and you can go out and do things.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

You are not helping you case for intellectual prowess by offering 'I heard it on DCUM so it must be true' as your defense BTW.

DP. You sound extremely defensive. Why is that?

And btw, I don't think PP is the same as the top PP. At any rate, who are you to doubt the top PP's experience? And "as for all over this website," that comment is true. All one has to do is read some of the repulsive posts criticizing SAHMs and calling them any number of names. So, please. Don't pretend that isn't true.

I have never experienced judgment in real life. But the trope about WOHM asking for rides from SAHM PP is making up, bc where would their kids even be in the same place to BE picked up?? WOHM needs a ride everyday, going to go round robin thru her neighborhood SAHM?? That doesn’t happen. Totally made up.

Ok, exactly who's the one making things up?? Nowhere did PP say there are WOHMs going "round robin through her neighborhood SAHMs," looking for rides every day. You just completely fabricated that, and for what - effect? She stated there are "some working moms" who have asked PP to pick up their kids. Which is absolutely believable - I've encountered this too. And while I don't mind giving the occasional ride to anyone who needs it, there are indeed some WOHMs who assume that their kid is going to be brought home every.single.time. from whatever event - sports, dance, scouts, etc. There are two moms I can think of right off the bat who never, ever participate in carpool to OR from our kids' practices. While it's understandable that they aren't able to take the kids there, they can certainly bring them home on a regular basis, just like all the other parents do.

So hop off your silly soapbox and realize that your experience is not at all the same as everyone else's and PP makes a very valid point.

They are just lazy moms then, and being working moms have nothing to do with it. Thank you for proving my point. There are lazy SAHMs and WOHMs, so don't paint such a broad brush just from a few examples. Just like I don't say that most SAHMs seem kind of dim because I've met some that really seem out of it.

Likewise. Simply being a WOHM doesn't mean one is more intelligent than a someone who chooses to SAH, not by a long shot. In fact, many SAHMs are more highly educated than WOHMs - the DC area is just one example where that is often the case.

At any rate, why are you on this thread to begin with? The OP was asking SAHMs to relate their experiences. Doesn't seem like you have anything to add to that conversation.

That's what I was saying? Why are you repeating back what I said?

I was on this thread b/c my DH is campaigning for me to stay home, and when I did it during maternity leave I *did* find it boring, so curious if it get better like wine (or maybe with MORE wine?).

The PP who basically portrayed WOHM as leeches was the first volley in the mommy wars in this thread, BTW.

Uh, no. The first shot was PREDICTABLY fired by the bitter WOHM who said she'd rather kill herself than be a SAHM. Thanks for playing, though.

The 4th POST was a slight against working moms, the kill yourself comment was 3 PAGES later. Why are you making things up?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Getting back on topic

I never expected to be a SAHM but then DH got a great offer from his company to transfer to an overseas office. I had just had my first child so it seemed like a good opportunity to take a year or so off before returning to the workforce. Flash forward ten years and one more kid and we're still expats though we've moved countries a few times and I still stay at home. It's not quite what I expected to happen when I was in college or doing my master's or my initial years in the workforce. But do I have regrets? No. Life has been good. Even though we are expats it sounds more exotic than it really is and most of my daily activities are similar to what has already been described on here by other SAHMs. I run the house, prepare the meals, keep everyone's lives in working order, plan the vacations, manage (remotely) our rental property in the US and I am also involved with the family finances. DH makes the money but he's happy to leave the investments to me. In our case, it's also quite helpful having a SAHM to sort out all the little bureaucratic hurdles of being an expat. I also volunteer and I have a good social life with other families and play tennis frequently.

We will return to the US someday and I don't really have plans to return to work, although I also won't rule it out either. I'm actually quite happy being a SAHM and I don't base my self worth on going to an office every day and pushing paper around. I'm very, very happy for those who work and I'm thrilled it's not the 1950s with its conformist expectations for women. But I am also very happy with my life.

The one thing happy SAHMs that I know have in common is no matter how intelligent or well educated, they don't have a strong professional drive.

SAHM here who left biglaw counsel position. This is true. I would rather spend time with my kids and take care of them than sit on yet another conference call while everyone argues about whether there has been a MAC and they are going to sue to force the deal to close. Life is too short!

I found I can spend plenty of time with my kids even while working full time. What are you interested in doing once your children are in high school, or are you just thrilled to be no longer billing?

Don't know. But I won't go back to a big firm. I spent their very young years doing that and missed too much. And the pay isn't worth the effort.

Let me guess, the pay isn't worth effort for you because your biglaw husband is working a lot of hours and paying down your school debt?

Full tuition and living stipend scholarship for law school. No loans. Husband doesn't work in biglaw.

If you had six figures of law school debt, it might have been worth it for you to continue to work.

Did you even read PP's post? "Full tuition and living stipend scholarship." What debt?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The implication in this thread is that staying at home is preferable to working and the women posting that they aren’t bored seem to be gloating about it. So that is what is bringing out the venom from the working moms. Maybe I should start a thread about how great it is to be a working mom and see how the SAHMs respond.

Go ahead. I do think staying home is great. That is why I do it. Why should I pretend that it sucks? If you prefer working, fine by me.

Does your husband ever get jealous of all your free time?

Mine does not. He’s very career focused and loves his work and his contribution there. I did not. I went the college-career route and was miserable. He is not. I didn’t feel I was contributing to anything other than my unhappiness when I was working. I’m very happy and fulfilled now, and my husband is very happy and fulfilled now. It works for us now.

You're happy being married to a man whose main focus in life is work?

Where did I ever say that?

But since you asked if I’m happy, yes, I’m honestly happy. He’s a wonderfully involved husband and father in the evenings and weekends. He sees his clients M-Th and puts in 12-14 hours a day and then we spend all day together fridays, and then have the weekends as a family. I have never been happier. But yes, we do have a mutual agreement that during the workweek, he is mostly focused on his work, and I am focused on things at home, so that he can get everything work related done before Th night, and we can then spend the weekend together.

Okay. What do you do for adult companionship M- Th?

I visit with my parents and sister (retired, and also SAH), I visit with a neighbor (we have coffee weekly), I run with a friend once a week (she works nights), my child plays at the playground after school while the moms chat (for about an hour almost daily, I volunteer at the school with another mom making copies and other tasks twice a month, I also socialize at sporting events.

Why is there this idea and misconception that women who stay home are completely isolated from adult contact?

Because I was too tired while on maternity leave to go out of the house much, and I have no local family, and I never SAH past the first 12 weeks of maternity leave.

Those first 12 weeks are all-consuming. It gets so much better and more fun when the baby is a little older and you can go out and do things.

+1, its all about survival then. About 4-5 months I got the hang of it. Mine were pretty easy going except when the reflux flared up. When they were infants I'd meet up with friends or family for lunch and they'd hang out for an hour or two no problem. It was great as they are so portable when they are little.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't get the confusion at what someone does all day. I go once or twice a week to visit my MIL in a nursing home and deal with her stuff. Its 45 minutes away so it takes most of the day. One day grocery shop and another day errands. Lunch with one of my parents (separate) or friends. Clean the house, pay bills, do house repairs, etc. and sometimes a nice nap.

I do a week's worth of laundry and the week's grocery shopping in 4-5 hours on one weekend day. No elder care demands. I outsource house cleaning and repairs, and I pay most of our bills online. I can't really see one whole day for grocery shopping and another whole day for errands.

You must teach One-Upmanship 101! You're so good at it. I'm sure there are plenty of things you do that we "can't really see" the need for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot depends on the temperament of your kids. Some kids are easy, and others have very demanding personalities or needs.

FWIW, I have no dog in this fight. I have a PhD with tenure at a university and my income is in the low $100s with really good benefits--a "dream" job, for sure--and there are certainly days, weeks, even months, when I feel like I would rather be a little bored at home than feel the pressure of publishing (yes, it exists, even after you have tenure) or deal with the petty politics of academia. DH makes 7-figures, so I certainly don't need to work for the money. I can easily imagine filling SAHM days with working out, cooking nice meals, home improvement, shopping, reading good books, hanging out with friends, and volunteering. I would be happy, even if a little bored at times.

But, I do go to work because I think that lowering stress for my family is not the end-all-be-all of life--especially if you have the means and ability to contribute to society in a meaningful way. It's not an issue of wanting to contribute to society, it's more like a moral obligation. I accept that most people, especially women, have been conditioned to not think about contributing to society as imperative, but rather as an option.

My brother and I were always taught, by example, that our biggest contribution to society would be the way in which we raised our kids, and the priority those kids took in our lives. So I agree with you about contributing to society being a moral imperative. We just differ what we feel is the most important societal contribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: Raising kids is a contribution to society.

+1,000,000
I think there's only a tiny subset of people who believe otherwise, and they happen to be some of the WOHMs on DCUM. They didn't get the memo.

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

You are not helping you case for intellectual prowess by offering 'I heard it on DCUM so it must be true' as your defense BTW.

DP. You sound extremely defensive. Why is that?

And btw, I don't think PP is the same as the top PP. At any rate, who are you to doubt the top PP's experience? And "as for all over this website," that comment is true. All one has to do is read some of the repulsive posts criticizing SAHMs and calling them any number of names. So, please. Don't pretend that isn't true.

I have never experienced judgment in real life. But the trope about WOHM asking for rides from SAHM PP is making up, bc where would their kids even be in the same place to BE picked up?? WOHM needs a ride everyday, going to go round robin thru her neighborhood SAHM?? That doesn’t happen. Totally made up.

Ok, exactly who's the one making things up?? Nowhere did PP say there are WOHMs going "round robin through her neighborhood SAHMs," looking for rides every day. You just completely fabricated that, and for what - effect? She stated there are "some working moms" who have asked PP to pick up their kids. Which is absolutely believable - I've encountered this too. And while I don't mind giving the occasional ride to anyone who needs it, there are indeed some WOHMs who assume that their kid is going to be brought home every.single.time. from whatever event - sports, dance, scouts, etc. There are two moms I can think of right off the bat who never, ever participate in carpool to OR from our kids' practices. While it's understandable that they aren't able to take the kids there, they can certainly bring them home on a regular basis, just like all the other parents do.

So hop off your silly soapbox and realize that your experience is not at all the same as everyone else's and PP makes a very valid point.

They are just lazy moms then, and being working moms have nothing to do with it. Thank you for proving my point. There are lazy SAHMs and WOHMs, so don't paint such a broad brush just from a few examples. Just like I don't say that most SAHMs seem kind of dim because I've met some that really seem out of it.

Likewise. Simply being a WOHM doesn't mean one is more intelligent than a someone who chooses to SAH, not by a long shot. In fact, many SAHMs are more highly educated than WOHMs - the DC area is just one example where that is often the case.

At any rate, why are you on this thread to begin with? The OP was asking SAHMs to relate their experiences. Doesn't seem like you have anything to add to that conversation.

That's what I was saying? Why are you repeating back what I said?

I was on this thread b/c my DH is campaigning for me to stay home, and when I did it during maternity leave I *did* find it boring, so curious if it get better like wine (or maybe with MORE wine?).

The PP who basically portrayed WOHM as leeches was the first volley in the mommy wars in this thread, BTW.

Uh, no. The first shot was PREDICTABLY fired by the bitter WOHM who said she'd rather kill herself than be a SAHM. Thanks for playing, though.

The 4th POST was a slight against working moms, the kill yourself comment was 3 PAGES later. Why are you making things up?

As has already been established, the post about the working moms asking for rides for their kids was NOT a "slight against working moms." The poster who wrote that said that there were SOME WOHMs who did that, and frankly, I know exactly what she's talking about. There are indeed SOME WOHMs who never participate in carpool and simply assume the rest of us won't notice while we're schlepping their kids home after practice all the time. That is a fact, and not a slam on all working moms.

How you can even equate that innocuous comment to the "kill yourself" post is mind boggling.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

You are not helping you case for intellectual prowess by offering 'I heard it on DCUM so it must be true' as your defense BTW.

DP. You sound extremely defensive. Why is that?

And btw, I don't think PP is the same as the top PP. At any rate, who are you to doubt the top PP's experience? And "as for all over this website," that comment is true. All one has to do is read some of the repulsive posts criticizing SAHMs and calling them any number of names. So, please. Don't pretend that isn't true.

I have never experienced judgment in real life. But the trope about WOHM asking for rides from SAHM PP is making up, bc where would their kids even be in the same place to BE picked up?? WOHM needs a ride everyday, going to go round robin thru her neighborhood SAHM?? That doesn’t happen. Totally made up.

Ok, exactly who's the one making things up?? Nowhere did PP say there are WOHMs going "round robin through her neighborhood SAHMs," looking for rides every day. You just completely fabricated that, and for what - effect? She stated there are "some working moms" who have asked PP to pick up their kids. Which is absolutely believable - I've encountered this too. And while I don't mind giving the occasional ride to anyone who needs it, there are indeed some WOHMs who assume that their kid is going to be brought home every.single.time. from whatever event - sports, dance, scouts, etc. There are two moms I can think of right off the bat who never, ever participate in carpool to OR from our kids' practices. While it's understandable that they aren't able to take the kids there, they can certainly bring them home on a regular basis, just like all the other parents do.

So hop off your silly soapbox and realize that your experience is not at all the same as everyone else's and PP makes a very valid point.

They are just lazy moms then, and being working moms have nothing to do with it. Thank you for proving my point. There are lazy SAHMs and WOHMs, so don't paint such a broad brush just from a few examples. Just like I don't say that most SAHMs seem kind of dim because I've met some that really seem out of it.

Likewise. Simply being a WOHM doesn't mean one is more intelligent than a someone who chooses to SAH, not by a long shot. In fact, many SAHMs are more highly educated than WOHMs - the DC area is just one example where that is often the case.

At any rate, why are you on this thread to begin with? The OP was asking SAHMs to relate their experiences. Doesn't seem like you have anything to add to that conversation.

That's what I was saying? Why are you repeating back what I said?

I was on this thread b/c my DH is campaigning for me to stay home, and when I did it during maternity leave I *did* find it boring, so curious if it get better like wine (or maybe with MORE wine?).

The PP who basically portrayed WOHM as leeches was the first volley in the mommy wars in this thread, BTW.

Uh, no. The first shot was PREDICTABLY fired by the bitter WOHM who said she'd rather kill herself than be a SAHM. Thanks for playing, though.

The 4th POST was a slight against working moms, the kill yourself comment was 3 PAGES later. Why are you making things up?

As has already been established, the post about the working moms asking for rides for their kids was NOT a "slight against working moms." The poster who wrote that said that there were SOME WOHMs who did that, and frankly, I know exactly what she's talking about. There are indeed SOME WOHMs who never participate in carpool and simply assume the rest of us won't notice while we're schlepping their kids home after practice all the time. That is a fact, and not a slam on all working moms.

How you can even equate that innocuous comment to the "kill yourself" post is mind boggling.

I did not equate it, just pointing out the first comment was well before it.

There was no reason she had to specify WOHMs, and simply said moms who abuse carpool and done. just saying it was SAHMs who started the mommy war in this thread. No argument that both sides escalated!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: Raising kids is a contribution to society.

+1,000,000
I think there's only a tiny subset of people who believe otherwise, and they happen to be some of the WOHMs on DCUM. They didn't get the memo.

Please, we all love our kids but don't pretend that having and caring for your own kids is not a selfish act. This is a pretty well established perspective

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11078059/Is-it-selfish-to-want-children.html